One shot

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto franchise.

Summary: Kabuto played with Kinjutsu during the Fourth Shinobi World War. It wasn't a good idea. Wtf did he think he was doing?

Warning: This is in no way a serious work of fiction, even for the jolly-no-care kind.

Older Graves

Kabuto had his hood on but pulled up enough to let his snake eyes see his results. He walked from one end of the long and dark room, surveying the results.

The form of Deidara lay in front of him.

Yes, this young Akatsuki member has been resurrected properly. I can feel his chakra. I'll insert the Kunai now itself into his head.

Kabuto pulled the instructions Kunai, newly improved and everything, from a storage scroll and placed inside the head of the resurrected person.

Kabuto walked over to the next person: Kakuzu. A work well done again, a testament to his skills, which had surpassed all ninja before him.

Kabuto walked through more of the resurrected individuals, checking whether the Edo Tensei had worked properly as he'd been using a rather untested mass version of it. He had had the foresight to first inspect all the resurrections himself. He wasn't without mistake. He sealed away the bodies of those who weren't brought up properly. The scorch release user Pakura had come with a slight defect, her special chakra giving an unexpected effect to the Jutsu. Kabuto accounted for it on the go and modified the seals on her Kunai to make up for the minor error. But he'd have to postpone her for a more thorough checking. He'd need to release these special cases in a second round, not with the first batch, into the war.

Kabuto neatly packed everyone within sarcophagi. He didn't know why Orochimaru preferred those to seal Edo Tensei bodies – Kabuto would've used Sealing scrolls. But Orochimaru-sama was wise beyond his years and there must've been a reason for his decision. Kabuto would investigate it himself but it was a really small matter and Kabuto didn't have enough time for it, as he was attending to many duties in preparation for the Fourth Ninja world war. So he continued the tradition of using Sarcophagi. They were just a Doton thing and not that expensive.

Kabuto checked off a list on a pad.

Zabuza Momochi, tick.

Haku Yuki, tick.

Sasori, tick. Hah, now you're my puppet.

Sasuke Sarutobi…? Eh, who is this? This resurrection isn't Sasuke Sarutobi!

A black haired man, some six feet tall stood in the sarcophagus and would've been sealed for war if not for Kabuto's prudence. He looked nothing like a Sarutobi. Kabuto pulled one of those old cards. They had been useful in this Edo Tensei stuff, because they showed pictures of the people Kabuto had inserted into the cards long ago.

Sasuke Sarutobi looked nothing like the man before him.

Kabuto sighed.

Another accidental resurrection. What a waste of my time. But I suppose such major errors are expected. I am extremely competent, not flawless.

But Kabuto was curious. Accidental luck could go both ways. What if this wasn't some ordinary civilian but a great ninja? Ah hell, even a moderate ninja would suffice for a war.

Kabuto sensed the man's chakra. It was a pure burning white, a colour he'd never sensed before. Most people's chakra was of some colour. But this white chakra looked lifeless, the colour of evil. The colour of order. Of science. Kabuto wondered who this could be.

He inserted the standard metal Kunai into him and awakened him from his slumber.

He opened his eyes. The black sclera of his eyes had blue at their centre. Eerily reminiscent of the boy Naruto's eyes. As his life took manifestation in the body, he just observed Kabuto for a while.

"Yakushi Kabuto" he said carefully.

Kabuto was surprised, to say the least. Interested, he asked "You know me?"

"Yes" the man had a very strange accent. Kabuto couldn't figure out why.

"Who are you?"

"They called me Hideyoshi when I was in this world back then" he carefully replied.

Kabuto racked his memory for a Hideyoshi who might have been mixed up with the Sarutobi's grave. A contemporary ninja? A figure perhaps from afar whose DNA had mixed up into the set up due to the butterfly effect by displacing the original DNA sample?

Hideyoshi stepped out from the sarcophagus. Kabuto decided that he was rather interesting, so ordered him to demonstrate his skills.

The man Hideyoshi looked at his hands for a while, calmly.

"I don't think I will" he said calmly. Kabuto sent a pulse of chakra commands into his brain.

Hideyoshi buckled over like any normal Edo Tensei-ed individual.

"Alright, alright. I will demonstrate my skill, for all the good it will do to you"

Hideyoshi put a hand in front of him and oozed some white liquid onto the ground. It turned some greenish-blue colour and seeped into the colour. Kabuto could feel this power. It was good, unique…but impractical as far as he good see.

"What does it do?" Kabuto asked coolly.

Hideyoshi looked at him, dusting some imaginary dust from his black coat. He took his time combing through his wild waist length hair before saying "It does nothing practical. It is a source of energy that can provide a power boost very much like your Senjutsu but only a bit…different"

Kabuto shrugged. The man was suddenly not interesting any more. Kabuto, with a snap of his fingers, made the man sleep in the box again.

Second batch, or maybe even the third one. Useless shinobi.

…

Kabuto had released the Edo Tensei after awaking from Itachi's Izanami.

Hideyoshi was a person from another world, namely ours, who had been thrust into the Naruto verse, only several hundred years earlier to even Hashirama's birth. He had lived in a caravan, experimented with Chakra, discovered just one secret and then had vanished. His people had built an empire from his discovery but he himself was not associated with it.

Hideyoshi performed the seals in the middle of the battle field to prevent him from going to back to the pure world. The Shinigami here was nice and often came for tea but he'd rather stay and finish a few jobs, namely watching the Anime up close. He was an Edo Tensei guy – indestructible and unaffected by the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Hideyoshi hadn't even had the decency of being in control for a little bit, so he was practically waking up to the fact that he was being released from the resurrection. He saw a woman in front of him he recognized as Pakura, who was all lightning up. The one who shared character design with two other characters in the series. It had confused Hideyoshi a lot when seeing an Iwa ninja appear as a Suna one and such.

The others were looking at him expectantly, to light up and vanish. He just yawned. From their reactions, they seemed not very perturbed to see him not go, as their relief at having Pakura vanish seemed to dwarf the horror that he wasn't gone. He supposed his unconscious behaviour till now as to whatever Kabuto had designed him to do had not been impressive at all. Well, his power never worked like that. Being alert and aware was an important part of the power he had.

Everyone realized what was happening and a message about the Edo Tensei being released was relayed to the Allied Shinobi Forces. Hideyoshi's only wonder was why the sky looked dark and ominous though it had no real reason to.

"Hey, he's not going" someone finally noticed Hideyoshi.

Hideyoshi nodded pleasantly.

This constantly replenishing chakra feature is nice. Good work Kabuto.

Hideyoshi shunshinned over the main battle field where Madara was situated. Careful not to look at the eyes Hideyoshi walked over to the god tree which had already taken some sort of root.

Within a split second he was within his own psyche. He called upon a seal and in a moment, he was standing before the old Kokuo.

"YOU?" the five tails exclaimed.

"Aye, it is I. And everything that has transpired has done so according to my design" Hideyoshi said.

The summoning was brief however and Kokuo got sucked into the ten tails again. Long ago, he'd been the Jinchuruki of the five tails. He was just…reminding Kokuo that there was some business.

Kokuo seemed really upset by his appearance, for the Ten Tails briefly suffered instability before continuing its attacks. The Fourth Hokage was flashing here and there in yellow streaks and everything.

Hideyoshi dully watched the entire stuff, completely ignored. Several tailed beast balls hit him but he remained unaffected, merely reforming in moments.

Kaguya Otsutsuki was about to be reborn, Madara having just casted the Infinite Tsukuyomi. But by that time, he was noticed.

Team 7 and the Hokage were still standing, but so was he.

He was captured within the Susanoo in a moment.

Team 7 asked him while they listened to Madara's lecture.

"Who are you old man?" Naruto asked him.

"Whose side are you on?"

"I am Hideyoshi, from a past long ago. Accidental Edo Tensei. I released myself after copying Madara"

They took it in silence. Naruto asked Sasuke "Can we go out now?"

"NO, the Susanoo is the only thing preventing us from being absorbed into the ultimate Genjutsu"

"Actually I think you should go out and deal with Madara before something bad happens to him" Hideyoshi said. But as always, the wise statements were never acknowledged. They watched with morbid curiosity as Madara turned into Kaguya. In the old world this had been one of the most boring things ever. The final break from filler, this arc had been pretty short.

While Team 7 forgot about him and carried Kaguya over to another dimension, he walked up to the god tree. He placed a hand on it.

Go away, dead abomination Hideyoshi heard telepathically the tree's will.

Hideyoshi used his small secret on the tree. It was by no means a big secret, it was a trivial thing indeed. But the substance he oozed from his fingers dissolved the tree like wax. Even with the small amount he was shedding, the tree hissed and groaned as if it were taking a bath after exercising all day. In relief of course.

"Who are you and what are you doing?" the First Hokage asked Hideyoshi, the battle having left them suddenly and he having nothing to do.

"Using my ability to help solve this problem"

As the Hokage watched, the tree slowly died.

Liberation it said to Hideyoshi and dropped the dead body bags. The moon didn't lose its white glow and the infinite Tsukuyomi wasn't ended but the God Tree had died.

"You killed the tree. Amazing. What did you do?" Minato asked.

"The god tree landed on earth a long time ago, seeking to suck out all the natural energy of the planet. What should have happened was that the fruit the tree bore fall to the ground and release all the energy back to the planet. But before that could happen, Kaguya ate it. I am merely just showing the tree the completed form of its fruit, signalling to its instincts that its purpose for existence has come to an end, that its end has been achieved"

"How interesting!" Hashirama exclaimed to Tobirama's disgust "So what is this ripening process?"

Hideyoshi looked at them and said "I completed the fruit but mastering all five elements and managing to combine them in a single release. The power is not something you'd expect – far from it"

Hashirama said "A Five element combined nature release?!"

"Brother, you always come up with long winded names" Tobirama complained.

Hideyoshi breathed a heavy sigh.

"FECNR for short, I call it that too yes. For centuries chakra has been trying to ripen up be forming Kekkei Genkai and related natures, yearning for completion. I studied chakra deeply and found out what was happening and accelerated the process. I drew power from the five tailed beast for my experiments"

"What does it do, this release?" Hiruzen asked, curious. The Professor and all.

"This release…does not do anything. It was not meant for humans. It just restored the completeness of chakra…and erodes away the Chakra Pathway System"

The Hokage all stood unawares even as their chakra pathway systems were being released and thus their resurrection too. This FECNR was a long range thing, eating away chakra like anything and converting it into goo.

As the bluish green thing leaked from everyone around, the Sage of the Six paths, also flickering slightly, asked "Do you really think that's wise?"

"Of course. It is far from right that an unfinished energy source be supplied. Do not worry, this world will not turn any less pleasant or more pleasant because of this change. After all, this was called the power of Gelel"

"I suppose I must accept your decision…father."

Hideyoshi grinned and ruffled his hair. He might have been a three time self insert into the same universe but he was sure he'd figure how rebirth worked out and get into another universe any time now. He let loose his lips, death already overtaking him. Perhaps this time, he'd be let out.

A/N: This idea just had to come out. I'm writing another story and all sorts of ideas are coming in and demanding release. So I just wrote this one out.

In case you are wondering what this fic is about still, I'll explain what this is.

Reason for writing the fic:

Kabuto's mass resurrection was kind of OP and am parodying it here.

All the SI stories out there never get to finish. We don't come to know what happens to the character when they die. Do they get reborn again? In the same world or another? So this was an attempt at explaining what might happen. This story was about a random SI guy from any fic being born first as Hagoromo's father, and then a random "Middle Ages" guy and finally gets resurrected.

And I hate a movie going waste. So I put the Gelel on a pedestal.

I hope I finish my real fanfiction story about Fuinjutsu theory. I hope it will be an interesting read. As soon as I'm done with it, I'll post it up. Till then, any criticism and review on this is appreciated. Thank thee for reading this one shot.