A/N: I haven't watched Re:Zero in over 4 months so I may/may not know wtf I'm talking about, seriously I forgot, like half the plot. Also I want to say how disappointed I am that I could not find any ships of Subaru x Ferris. I know people like them but apparently everyone is too lazy to right a good one, or one AT ALL, so fuck it I guess if I want one, I gotta do it myself! This may or may not contain some gay LEMON (which is ironic cause I'm straight, but totally gay for Ferris, idk) anyway, I hope you enjoy my desperate attempt at making some gooooood ship.

Subaru has died over and over again without end. No matter what he does to change the fate of Emilia, Ram, and everyone at the mansion, he keeps on failing and keeps on dying. He tried so hard to stop the Witch Hunter Cult from killing everyone but they succeeded every time and time again. During another attempt to save everyone Rem has abandoned him at an inn while they were on their way on yet another attempt to save everyone. Although, this happened once before in another Reset.

During the last Reset Rem left him to sleep at the inn and he woke up only to find a note saying that Rem was going to the mansion by herself to deal with the problem. During that reset Subaru felt his feelings betrayed by the only one he thought understood his feelings. He would pay a merchant for a ride in which they would get attacked by the White Whale and Subaru would get kicked out the moving vehicle. Later he would limp back to the mansion himself only to spot the most horrific, most gruesome scene he would ever lay eyes upon. Everyone he would try to protect has perished. He would soon die himself due to being frozen to death by Emilia's familiar.

This time was different yet the same however. He was determined to do a full repeat of the same scenario, the same gruesome scene, the same death, all for what? Because Rem left him? Because he was too late to change the future? He asks himself.

"I came this far but nothing has changed I knew this would happen again but I thought I was prepared this time, Rem left me again, she's going to die again, everyone will die again…..I...I will die again.."

He paused after he read Rem's note about staying at the inn and getting better. Something out of the ordinary happened to him. Something called REALIZATION. If he were to do the same process again, he will only die. His mind was straying off the path of saving those he truly cared about and the fundamental plans he needed to do in order to achieve the perfect saving everyone operation.

Instead, he realized, in his depressive state, that why is he going as far to die over and over for those who do not even acknowledge his feelings. It was high time that he cut his losses and realize that what he was trying to do the entire time...was totally fucking bad shit crazy and that no sane person should be doing what the fuck he was thinking about doing in the first place.

It was time to start at ZERO. THIS is his new Zero. Starting at the inn he took a long time to deal with his inner demons, hours upon hours have past. He ate breakfast and pondered. He was dealing with regret, depression, sadness, he knows exactly what he was doing and that meant the death of everyone he knew and love. However, he took life for granted way too many times. It was time to live like he only had one chance. If that was the case, in THIS TIMELINE it was time to cut ties and start a new.

The Innkeeper noticing Subaru was feeling a bit off he asked him.

"Say son, aren't you a little too young to be looking all depressed, you got a whole life ahead of you and yet I reckon you look like you've been dealing with situations that aren't meant for a kid like you. Where are your friends, what are ya doin in this ol' inn still?"

The Innkeeper was right. He may not be a kid, but he was a kid at heart, and what he was dealing with was way out of his league. Being in Tokyo, only to be spirited away by some witch just to fight monsters that may or may not be his destiny? Nobody asked for that! For all he knew it was all a happy accident and he could just be a farmer in this new world. He told the innkeeper.

"Nothing, just saying goodbye...to old friends" with a cold, almost tearing sigh, he pays for his meal and room expense as he left the inn.

The end of not even chapter 1 just a break, i got no sleep cause of this, i don't plan on lsleeping either. Also i just wanted to clarify, it may have lemon in the future, y'know that gay smut crap. But i at least want to build a story before i get into that, i have Subaru x Ferris in mind, but STORY DRIVEN is my primary focus.