I have already posted this on another site a few years ago, but I've been reading a lot of stories here so I thought I'd contribute a little.

Blurb: P&P to the tune of the Christmas carol "Deck the Halls".


Deck the Halls at Longbourn


Mrs. Bennet's Verse

Mrs. B: Deck the halls with bows for Collins.

Jane: Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Mrs. B: Heedless of his teeth or folly.

Lizzy: Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Mrs. B: Like him more than his looks warrant,

Lydia: La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!

Mrs. B: For he is the heir apparent.

Kitty: Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

.o8o.

Mr. Bennet's Verse

Mr. B: See the blazing fool before us.

Mary: Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Mr. B: Mary, stop that bloody chorus.

Mary: Fa-la…

Mr. B: While I view most fools with pleasure,

Mary:(silence)

Mr. B: This man tries me past my measure.

Mary: (silence)

.o8o.

Mr. Collins' Verse

Mr. C: When dead away the old man passes,

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

You'll need me to save you lasses.

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

In return, I ask a favor.

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!

Marry me. I'll be your savior.

Bwa-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha.

.o8o.

The Bennet Sisters' Verse

Jane: I have only eyes for Bingley.

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Lizzy: I remain by choice quite singly.

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Mary: I'm the best bet for your offers.

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!

Kitty and Lydia: We have only eyes for off'cers.

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

.o8o.

The Bingley Siblings' Verse

Charles: I'm in love with... Oh look, shiny!

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Lousia and Caroline: (aside to Darcy) Wherever you lead, he'll follow blindly.

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Let us leave this dull backwater.

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!

Ere he weds a local's daughter.

Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

.o8o.

Darcy's Verse

Darcy: (spoken) I do not perform for strangers.

Caroline: Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Darcy: (silence)

Caroline: Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la!

Darcy: (glaring silence)

Caroline: (silence)

Darcy: (silence)

Caroline: (silence)

END