John rested his forearm on the sill of the window, staring at the fresh round of snow that fell in hypnotizing swirls to the ground. Any other time, the snow would look beautiful, but now it looked nearly as dull as he felt. He sighed, tapping his finger on the cold wood, watching snow drift across the street. How could have this happened? Not one family member had even bothered to tell him his own mother had died.

Then again, it wasn't like he wrote either.

God, how could he have been so stupid? He was so busy getting drunk and messing around, he never even thought to write, and now his own dad hates him. He got to spend Christmas alone now. Sure, he could go to Alex's, but he probably was busy writing and didn't want to be bothered. Lafayette had sailed over to France weeks ago to be with his family for a while, and Herc was with his family too probably. He grabbed a letter sitting next to him on the table, which had been slipped under the door while he was away. Out of boredom, he read the letter again.

My dearest, Laurens

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I must say, I am thrilled beyond words at this gift I have been bestowed and found it next to impossible not to thank you promptly. Unfortunately, I am unaware of the address of your families residence, so I have sent this to yours in hopes you will find it upon your return. I am exceedingly delighted with the quality of the quill, and even more so humbled by the name which it was engraved with. Words cannot begin to express my gratitude, and I hope my dear friend I can return this endowment to you. I also would like to ask you come over when it is convenient so I can also thank you in person.

P.S. I am using my new tool as we speak, it works wonderfully.

Yours, A. Ham

His eyes skimmed the page, a half-smile forming on his lips. He was glad Alexander liked his gift, and the fact he even used it to write the thank you letter. He began to set down the paper once more until a small detail he had missed caught his eye. His read the first line, confusion setting in as soon as he saw it.

My dearest, Laurens.

A comma after dearest.

His eyebrows knitted as he re-read the line again. Alexander must've made a mistake, He thought dismissively, setting down the letter. There's no way he would write that.

There's no way.


"What do you mean he's back early?" Alex said, tilting his head in confusion. A habit he had somehow ended up acquiring.

"I saw him heading back to his house early this morning," Herc said, his mouth set in a hard line. A line appeared between his brows as he glanced out the window, which faced in the direction of his house.

"Why on earth would he have come back?" He asked, "I need to see if somethings wrong," He stood up, but was shadowed by Hercules who stepped in front of him.

"Yo, man before you go doing anything I've heard some things,"

Alex sat back down slowly. "Like what?"

"I was in the pub some family like every year and I heard someone say 'Laurens', so like any good spy I listened in. It was a bunch of wasted plantation owners who were bashing his dad for something or another, anyways, I nearly had tuned out until I heard them mention his wife, John's mom." He paused, almost as if he was hesitant on what he was about to say.

"His mom died months ago. I don't think he knew until he actually went to his house."

Alex's breath caught in this throat.

"That's impossible. There's no way she could've died without him knowing,"

"I don't know, man, all I know if what I heard."

His shoulders fell. That's impossible, to have your own mother die and not know about it for months. But then again, John never talked about his family much, so anything could be possible at this point.

"Poor John.." He whispered. He looked back up at Herc.

"I need to go see if he's alright, nobody should spend Christmas alone, especially not after hearing something like that. I hope him and his dad didn't get into a scuffle."

"Man," A look of sadness came over Herc, something Alex didn't see very often. "I wish I could tag along but the family is waiting for me. I'll drop by the second I can alright?"

"Alright," Alex said, already throwing on his coat.

They both walked outside, then parted ways, Alex would've broken into a dead sprint if the town hadn't been as busy. He walked briskly, not even bothering to gaze at the scenery as he usually did. The air was sharp and bitter, and occasionally blowing through. The typical weather for a Christmas Eve. He looked up, noting the sun was already starting to go down.

"If I don't hurry I'll end up spending the night there," He murmured to himself.

It took only about ten minutes to get there, compared to what would usually be about a fifteen-minute walk across town and a bit into the country. He nearly fell on his face running up the steps to the small home due to the ice that had built up. He knocked three times, then waited. Slowly, the door opened.


John's head snapped at the door where the knocks erupted. Who would be here? On

Christmas Eve of all days? His thoughts automatically fixated on one person.


He didn't know why Alex was under the impression he was in South Carolina, he wouldn't be here. He stood up slowly, debating on if he should peek out the curtains. He bit his lip, putting a hand on the doorknob. Oh god, please don't let this be anyone I know, he prayed silently, turning the handle. He slowly swung open the door and was greeted by an all to familiar face.

"Oh, uh, hey Alex. I er- didn't expect to see you here." He stammered, trying to keep his cool. He could tell Alex was having none of it.

"I could say the same for you," He said, looking straight into John's eyes. He looked down.

"Listen, I know I said I was going to be gone, but.. Things came up so I came back. I swear I wasn't lying to you."

"I know you weren't lying John, I never said you did," He chuckled. "I wanted to stop by and see if you were alright."

Johns' head shot up.

"W-what do you mean?"

"I heard some things, and well long story short they weren't very happy things." John slipped his hands into his pockets. So Alex did know.

"John," Alex said softly, "what happened?"

John swallowed back tears and started from the beginning.

"I went to South Carolina, just like I had planned when I got there my dad answered the door. He was so angry, Alex, screaming about how I never wrote him and how I didn't care about him." He laughed humorlessly, "He basically disowned me right then and there. And just as he went to slam the door the stopped.. And told me my mother was dead and said I didn't ever care about her… s-so I came back here and you were busy and Laf was in France and Herc was doing God knows what…"

He trailed off to keep from bursting out into tears. Alex looked at him sadly, his mouth slightly open. He smiled back the tears, his lower lip trembling,

"John.. God, you should've come over,"

He gasped slightly as Alex pulled him into a warm hug, pulling him close to his torso.

Then came the tears.

It began slow, tears trickling down his face before he lost all control of himself. Sobs tore through his chest like daggers, his body shaking violently.

"I di-didn't know," he sobbed shakily, "I never even got to say goodbye, Alex, I never even got to.."

"I know, I know," Alex whispered comfortingly, rubbing his back.

He gasped, trying to bring back the air as more cries came, each wrenching and pained. If he hadn't of been crying, he would feel awkward, hugging his crush on the front door of his own house, but he was thankful now Alex was there. He buried his head closer into Alex's shoulder, frantically pulling at the back of his coat as if his own life depended on it. Alex pulled him in even tighter, hushing him softly. After a few minutes, the intensity of his crying calmed to and occasional whimper among still trickling tears. He pulled back wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. His chest hurt from crying, and his eyes felt puffy. He could never remember the last time he cried so much. He was about to attempt to talk again when out of nowhere Alex reached out, holdings Johns face in his hand, gently wiping away a rogue tear that slipped out of his eye with his thumb. Alex smiled at him, in a way John could honestly only describe as loving. He smiled back.

"I'm sorry this happened, John. Listen, why don't I stay here tonight or you can come back to my house, you shouldn't be spending Christmas alone here by yourself."

"But what about your papers?"

Alex smiled. "Finished this morning, pretty quickly too with that new quill."

"Well, if it's no trouble for you," John said, "I wouldn't mind the company."

Later that night…

John sat on the small sofa next to Alex, Alex was reading a book while John tried his hardest not to fall asleep. His head was leaned back, and his eyes were heavy as he gazed up at the ceiling, his mind a buzz. He couldn't help but evoke the scene from earlier, and his well, actual breakdown. Though he got most of it out, he still felt... numb. The news still had him almost in a depressed mood, but having Alex just sitting next to him made him feel much better. He then remembered something from earlier he wanted to mention.

"Hey, Alex?"


He paused. Making sure he actually wanted to go through with this.

"In that letter you sent, the short thank you letter about the quill,"

"What about it?" Alex asked, sitting up straight. John took a breath.

"You put a comma after Dearest. My dearest, Laurens. Was that an accident?"

"No. No, it wasn't."

Johns' eyes widened, he turned to Alex who was looking intently at him. God, I hate when he does that, John thought to himself.

"You mean…?"

"John I… I mean I really like you," He said, closing his book. "Like, more than a friend. Call me crazy I know."

"If that's crazy, then I'm afraid we've both gone mad."

John saw the confusion on Alexanders face, then saw realization dawn on him. He laughed.

"Alex, since the day we met I fell completely head over heels for you, I could never stop thinking about you. I never thought you would ever like me back."

"Are you kidding?" Alex began, "I felt the exact same way. I guess both of us must've been awfully good at hiding our feelings."

John shook his head, smiling. He could not believe it, Alex really liked him back. In that moment, the adrenaline of the thought took over and he did the unthinkable. He leaned over, pressing their lips together softly. Nothing big, but enough. He felt Alex raise a hand, resting it gently on the back of his neck, running his fingers through John's curls. After a moment or two, he leaned back again, both of them smiling at each other. He laughed breathlessly, which accidentally turned into a deep yawn.


"Mhm," John replied, slugging back into the couch, his heart doing front flips and leaps, his brain falling asleep, however that worked. Adrenaline rush, over.

"Yeah, me too."

"Hey, Alex?"



Alex slid down slightly into the couch as well, putting his hands behind his head.

"For what?"

John looked over at Alex, smiling slightly.

"Being here for me tonight, I really needed someone as much as I hate to admit it."

"Don't mention it, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He replied.

"Hey," John said, changing the subject, "Do…. do you care if I use you as a pillow?"

Alex chuckled.

"Be my guest."

John rested his head on Alex's shoulder, which immediately felt much better than having his head lolled back on the couch.

"Thanks," he whispered, already beginning to fall asleep. Man, he must've really been tired. Just before sleep overcame him, he felt the unmistakable warmth of Alex kissing his forehead.

The next day, he found himself cuddled right up next to Alex, his head resting on his chest, Alex's arms wrapped around him tightly. That's when he knew, he was glad to have Alex there with him, so he didn't have to spend this Christmas alone.

So he wouldn't have to be alone.

A/N- I have to laugh, I changed that last scene twice, and sorry, I did have a pretty intense kiss scene but it was very out of place so I pitched it. Well, there you are! My freakishly long second chapter! Hope everyone got everything on their list and had an awesome day! I'm so tired though, so I will quickly edit this then go to sleep! Don't forget to leave kudos/favorites! AND COMMENT! I love you guys! Later!