Summary: Rey is seduced to the Dark Side.

Seduced to the Dark Side

Rey: S-senpai... I don't know if I'm ready for this.

Kylo Ren smiles. His yellow teeth curled like a sinister moon. Today he will have his absolution.

Kylo Ren: Come on baby. It'll only hurt for a moment. It's exciting.

Rey shifts uncomfortably in her seat. The music in the cantina was light but not overwhelming. Kylo Ren was pressing her to do something she wasn't comfortable with. She had been drinking too much tonight. Kylo Ren's musky odor of burnt oats and babies was affecting Rey's judgement. Rey shouldn't do it. She can't do it. This is wrong. Rey knew what she must do. She pressed a soft hand against Kylo Ren's chest. It was as hard as a wookie in a twi'lek strip club.

Rey: No.

Kylo Ren did not like the answer.

Kylo Ren: I know it will hurt a little.

Kylo Ren pressed closer.

Kylo Ren: But you want to make me happy right? You want to make me feel good?

Kylo Ren was so close that his gigantic nose was about to swallow up Rey's smaller nose like a dolphin attacking a grape. His breath smelled of bad vodka and Fruit Loops.

Rey: Ren. Please. That is the Dark Side...

Kylo Ren, obviously growing annoyed, grabbed Rey's wrist and pinned her against the wall. His gigantic girth was wide and strong. Kylo Ren's body released powerful pheromones like man-eating butterflies assaulting hapless llamas. Fuck llamas.

Kylo Ren: Then you will suffer then.

Rey: Please. Don't-

Rey's pleads were ineffective.


Rey struggles. But her weak Disney-princess strength is no match for the Dark Lord. No one in the cantina stopped Kylo Ren as he dragged Rey's wailing body out. Every so often Kylo Ren would throw a few punches to silence her. He tossed her into his vehicle, a broken smile on his lips.

Kylo Ren then mounted his steed. A solitude tear rolls down Rey's cheek. "Farewell my innocence," she says to herself as Kylo Ren did not listen as he buckled his pants. His fiery engines began thrusting in the cold night sky of the desert planet. Rey screamed. She didn't want this. Nobody could ever want this!

Kylo Ren, his hair in the wind, his girth hot as molten steel, finally had its sweet release.