I don't like to be dark. I don't like not being able to express myself. But unfortunately for me that was how I was taught to act. I'll start this off by saying a few words to my loyal followers.
The reason I haven't updated my other stories, because I lack the drive to update them. That and writers block are simply the harshest hitters any and all authors have to face.
I don't plan on updating any of them until this story is finished. If you'll continue reading I'll explain why.
I'm tired of acting like I'm ok when it obvious, even to myself, I'm not. I'm mentally and emotionally unstable. Keep in mind I'm not dangerous by any means, to myself or to others, I don't have thoughts of suicide or any of that crap. But I am numb and stuck in a very frustrating train of thought.
I will say that I don't get out of the house to do anything others would call interesting. A lot of you will say I'm a loser well I can only say, whatever. It's not my fault, entirely, I'm like this and I am working to fix it. But because of the holidays those plans are temporarily put on hold.
My therapist thought this would be a good idea. So I plan on taking her advice and posting this story.
Flamers will find their comments pushed where I shove all of the other things that bother me, deep, deep down into the very depths of my soul. You all contribute greatly to the suffering and misfortune of others whether you want to accept it or not. Most of you will probably read this and laugh at me. I don't care. Karma's a bitch and will have her pound of flesh. You will get yours one day. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week or even this month, but It will come. When it does, I honestly hope it hurts you deeply. You deserve nothing less than the atrocities you unknowingly help create just by having your 'fun'.
This fic goes in depth into what makes me, me. This is not a fic for the faint of heart. Not much will be explained early on. But the results of what happened will be seen in my actions. I am a very troubled individual looking for a source of healing. This fic reflects that.
I was abused mentally and emotionally very early on in my life and it's shaped me a very unusual way. At least I like to think so. Enough about me, you'll be getting plenty of that in this story. So I'll move onto the disclaimer.
Disclaimer, I do not own Final Fantasy XV or Naruto, I only own the plot.
I always had a distinct love for the final fantasy series. I always thought it would be awesome being the protagonist of a game with the end goal of saving the world. But when it finally happened, when I died I was given my chance to see through their eyes.
I was such a fool then. I never understood what it took to pull off the things they did. To overcome the trials that came with their legends. Both physical and mental. So here I am, in front of six individuals tasked with creating my own fantasy for reasons left unknown to me. But what can you do when these six were known for burning people they found "unworthy" alive?
For those that don't know what I mean by fantasy, only a final fantasy fan would know. A "fantasy" is another name for a world sharing specific characteristics and traits. All fantasy's belonging to the "final fantasy" all share the same monsters and themes and all share the same "crystals hold power" theme.
But to create my own fantasy… I lack the drive doing such a thing would surely require. But maybe, just maybe, this could be the start I've been looking for.
Before this, before all of this I had nothing. No hope that things would change, no reason to believe they even could. I couldn't even be called a person because I lack the very things that a real person needed to feel alive. Hobbies, dreams, friends, a goal to strive for. I had none of it.
But maybe, if I believe in this, I can finally become a person. Maybe I can finally start to heal.
Thinking these thoughts I looked up into the cerulean eyes of the leader of the six. A literal mountain of a man dressed in a black draconic suit of armour with a pair of golden wings protruding from his back. The king of dragons, Bahamut.
"What is your choice o chosen of the crystal? Be guided by the power of the crystal's light to a place untouched by it's radiance. To bring hope to a despairing world. Or fall like so many others have, to the darkness of hopelessness. To wait an eternity for the next chosen to come forth and free you from your suffering."
His words rang through my head with me not knowing how to answer him. I always wanted power, but what if I made a mistake too big to be fixed? What if my mess up caused someone else to be hurt. What if I'm responsible for the pain and suffering of a whole world?
As if hearing my internal doubt the smallest and, dare I say cutest, of the six approached. A small fox-like entity baring a strong resemblance to a fennec fox with with the only thing setting them apart being the bluish green fur covering it's small form and the small red horn protruding from its forehead. The master of life Carbuncle.
I gave a small, hesitant, smile to the foxy entity which was returned in the form of a kind twinkle in it's amethyst slit pupils. It gave a small yip which cause the phone in the pocket of my jeans to vibrate. Already knowing exactly what it was for my smile became just a touch more genuine.
Pulling out my android Motorola I held it up and tapped the screen. Watching as the text I had just received popped into my field of vision. "/ It's alright to be afraid! Fear is what makes you human. Just don't let it overwhelm you and effect your decisions. Besides, you'll have me by your side every step of the way! Noct was my best friend, I was with him when he died even if he didn't know I was there./" I could tell Carbuncle was really hurt about the death of his friend.
"But he left an impression on me. Even went so far as to give me a name! I was so happy!/ And something noct wouldn't stand for after everything he went through is to allow his fears to hold him back! You have a good heart, even with as weakened as it was by those years of neglect you still found a way to make it through. Please, if you have to think about anything bad think about all the people who will be hurt in this new fantasy if you don't accept this power! You know what will happen, you know what's coming, could you really sit back and wait for it all to play through when you have a chance to do something to change it!?"
Carbuncle's words brought me to pause. Could I really decline? They told me exactly which world I was going to if I accepted this power and when I would get there. I knew what was coming, the war that would be waged, the lives that would be lost, the battles that would be fought and the pain they would bring.
Could I live with that guilt? Knowing I just let it all happen?
Then another deity stepped towards me. The one I wanted to hear from the most. The most human looking dirty of the six. She was very regal in appearance. Dressed in a black and white Japanese style kimono with a golden sash with burnt orange ornamental designs etched on the silk wrapped around her waist and hung from both shoulders like a form of harness. Gentiana, aka lady Shiva the goddess of ice and darkness.
"Hear me O chosen king, your journey will be difficult. But as the messenger of the gods I will be there to guide you to the path of the future king. This is your choice, your chance, my king, to spread your teachings just like you wished to do in your past life. In this world of disorder and chaos there will be those who will listen. You could guide them down the path you yourself chose to take."
That was true.
"I don't even know how to use magic. Let's not mention the fact I'm not all that physically capable either. All the heroes of the 15 fantasies all had combat training of some kind at a young age. I never had that! You would be sending me into a slaughter."
Gentiana spoke again in defense of the six. "The trails of the chosen ask not for strength of body, my king, but strength of heart. So long should your heart be guided by the light you shall never encounter a trial you alone cannot overcome."
Part of me wanted to call bullshit on that. A really, really strong part of me. But against the odds I kept quiet and thought about the offer.
Should I accept I would receive the power from the crystal to establish a new fantasy. But in turn I would be accepting all of the responsibility that comes with that power. The responsibility to protect the people of the world I go to, the responsibility to, again, establish a new foothold for the six.
I hardly got out of bed some days because I don't see the point in doing it. Hardly find the drive to get up, walk and feed my own dogs. I won't even begin to mention how horribly unkempt the inside of my house is compared to what it is supposed to be like. How could I accept so much responsibility when I can hardly handle my own home and family?
"Why? Why are you all even interested in this world!? You don't even know them like I do!? You have no business trying to meddle in this world, hell one of you has gone so far as to admit he hates humans, why would you all agree to establish yet another fantasy when you already have your hands full watching over the other 15? Why?" I just couldn't understand it. Even the one deity I mentioned was looking away from me petulantly.
Truly he looked exactly like the one I saw on screen just the other day. He truly depicted the likeness of a demon with the curved black horns sticking out of his forehead and reaching back behind his head, a long make of fiery red hair almost the same shade of red of the very flames he commands, he had the upper body of a very muscular man but from the waist down the legs of a goat, fur and all. The supreme god of fire and carnage, Ifrit the infernian, the demon of fire.
Truly that petulant look on his face made him seem unnatural…. Well more unnatural than he already looked. But that's beside the point.
My phone rang again which caused me to glance at the text. "For me it's what noct would have done. All the heroes of the 15 fantasies were all very kind people, they all had qualities that made them great individually. But what made them so similar was their drive to do whatever it took for the people they were close to. It is our duty to honour those heroes by continuing to do what is right even if we sometimes disagree with which humans deserve to be saved." Carbuncle glanced in the direction of Ifrit after I read the text.
I only had one more thing to say in my defense.
"I'm no king and I'm certainly not a hero." Ok, two things, so sue me.
Gentiana walked forward before placing a hand on my shoulder making me involuntarily flinch. She could have killed me just then if she wanted, frozen me to death before I could even feel it.
"You are correct, you are not yet a king. But the crystal would not have chosen you without a reason. One even we are not yet capable of seeing. trust not in the darkness of doubt, but in the light of belief. A king you may not be does not mean a king you will not become."
I really only had one more question before I could give them my answer. I'm sure at this point it was obvious to everyone present what it would be.
"What about my ability to fight? I may know a few things to keep me alive from common bandits but in the world I'm going to that won't mean much with the majority of places I visit. If I have to fight in those places I'll die!"
A snort from ifrit drew the Ire of Gentiana. "It would do well if the crystal's chosen would ignore the petulant. As for your current lack of combat experience, you will find your answer in the form of visions. The greatest users of each style of combat for the 13 royal arms will be available to you until you learn how to protect yourself. Go to the land of frozen metal where not but the bravest soul dare follow."
I looked at her like she grew a second head, could anyone blame me? "Your kidding"
Gentiana actually looked amused for a second before the light twitch of her lips faded back into the look of stoic nobility. "No young king, I do not kid. You will find a haven hidden from the world much like his majesty did in his travels."
Well that's it, they had me.
When those words were uttered Bahamut kneeled down to get closer to me before placing his clawed index finger against the back of my hand. Immediately after making contact with my skin an impossibly bright light erupted from the contact. Removing his finger revealed there was now a Tattoo of the Lucian family crest emblazoned on my hand.
"The first trial of the next king." Gentiana intoned, "A noble king must learn to bleed for his people. In times of distress your blood will unlock the power of kings. When the time comes that you are able to draw forth your power without the crest, it will fade."
Carbuncle took a step closer to me before leaping onto my left shoulder. He yipped at me and caused my phone to vibrate. "Mou~ this is gonna be so much fun! As the master of light it's my job to accompany the king's journey to become king. Noctis already had bodyguards so he didn't need me but you'll need all the help you can get. But no pressure! I'll make sure you don't die, I promise!"
Gentiana stepped forward a small margin to gain my attention. "One last thing young king, on your journey you will find relics that your predecessor has allowed you to access. The first relic was once wielded by a warrior of the seventh fantasy and can be found deep within my heart. It is time for you to go young king. Fare well and hold strong."
"So our messenger has said, so shall it be done. The next king of light and the crystal's chosen shall depart. Be warned young king, your interference in this world will not go unnoticed, you will be sought out, you will be hunted. You must find your haven within the land of frozen metal before the moon appears at its zenith or your end will be slow and tortuous."
I didn't even get a chance to put a word in edgewise wize to the odd advice from Gentiana, or the ominous overshadowing of Bahamut before a large red runic symbol burst to life beneath my feet. The next thing I know is I'm waking up with my face in the cold snow.
Well, that's that.
Not going to be any, any time soon. Like I said in the comments above this isn't for my own entertainment or enjoyment. In my eyes this is an attempt to heal myself mentally and emotionally. Gentiana's advice was not a hint at the future pairing if there even will be one. All I'll say on the matter is that the world I'm inserting myself into has had some influence from the six in the past.
I tried keeping the personality of the gods as close to canon as I could and think I did a pretty decent job. Correct me if I'm wrong. Unfortunately I probably won't be able to fix it if I am corrected. Results of living the pitiful life I've led up to this point and being influenced into becoming an introvert. It makes regular social interaction incredibly awkward for everyone but me.