29The Kidnap of Hermione Granger
Chapter 2, Meticulous Planning
Email: stars_glow
Rating: PG
Summary: Someone's planning to kidnap Hermione, and with plenty of luck, it might actually succeed. H/Hr
Disclaimer: Oh yes, it's all going to be mine someday. I have plans of world domination, you see.
Author's Note: Author's Belgian Chocolate Rice Crispies have been pilfered. Find me a warpath to stalk on, somebody… Oh. And I'm using a canon Draco, please forgive me, I know innately he's really hot/evil/sweet/good/a Harry lover/whatever you think him be.
How are you feeling?
What are your reasons?
Do you feel love or a lack there of?
Love is a bond without reason
A cry for connection
A light in your eyes
Love is a reason for living, a reason for trying, a reason for life
Forget the feeling
Get all your of reasons
Life is love or the lack there of
Juliana Theory, Everything
I want their CD. Buy meeeeeeeeeee
It was a very rum thing, the way magical food appeared on the table and kept refilling itself. Very rum. Especially in the mornings when one wasn't too sure what was going on, or if your brain had been switched on yet, it was a Good Thing.
Ruminating on this slice of philosophical statement – 'Oh!' He registered as he reached for a slice of pie, 'A pun.' Harry munched slowly, chewing on both the pie and the information.
Gulping down the last dregs of milk from his glass, as well as the last pop tart, Harry's brain switched on.
That's right. They'd come to an agreement last night; one sided, but nonetheless an agreement, argued Ron. And Harry in his newly awake state didn't feel like getting into an argument.
It was all well and good to whisper about it after the lights had gone out, behind the drapes, but when it came to actually executing the fine plan, it was an entirely different matter.
Damn it, you couldn't just kidnap a girl. Could you? And if he remembered correctly, it was illegal in several countries, and… even… (Here he gave a sharp swallow of air and fear) punishable by death in certain areas…
They would have to be very crafty about this and very secretive too. Very, very secretive, since death-by-Hermione would probably be worse than death-from-Kidnapping-Hermione.
Draco, he noted, still had not gotten rid of hex-marks he'd earned duelling her. At least the last traces of the fur had gone. Poor chap had been very happily confident of his abilities to defeat a Mudblood, in fact, so much so that he'd left an opening and it was all over for Draco.
And on mentioning their fine plan… they actually didn't have one. The gist of all Ron had said was "Kidnap her! Good! Bloody brilliant!"
He'd carelessly omitted a few finer details, such as how what and when. Unfortunate, that, but the general idea was to force Hermione to relax.
The pie was finished and he reached for the bread.
"Harry? Are you listening?"
Now his brain had switched on, it seemed to do an automatic shut down as he noticed that Hermione was sitting on the opposing side of the table.
The morning sunlight shafted through the high windows in the hall, shooting a bright arrow to her hair and illuminating it in a golden glow around her face. Somehow in the contrast of the light and shadows her face seemed to take on an elven air, the small pointed chin, the delicately arched brows raised in question. Her eyes looked worriedly and amusedly at him, golden sparks flickering. And he loved her…
Now where did that come from?
Maybe it's been there all along.
Harry tried his best to process this information, failing miserably. It was too early for this, and it wasn't right, was it, to be conversing with yourself. Indignantly he gulped the bread crusts as he mentally kicked his brain, hoping to start it. It gave a little tinker, and then puttered out.
Milk. This called for more milk. He'd obviously not drunk enough. Now if only he could find the glass.
Which was in Dean's hand, and was completely empty. Right. Kill Dean.
Professor Binns was truly a great lover of his subject, History. In fact, he occasionally got so enthralled in it; he could spend the whole lesson and the next expounding on the history of relations between Giants and Wizards. "And then Freda the Large gave a mighty ROAR (at this, so caught up was he, he'd roar as loud as a ghost could) and threw stones at Grida the Greedy, thus settling their argument and creating what Muggles know as Stonehenge"
All this was done with a great flourish and tripping over of robes. Professor Binns never had wished to return to reality, the disappointment he had faced as a young man upon the end of his loving re enactment of scenes of the past had led him to live in the past, where the only threats posed were out of books, and the dangerous dark wizards thankfully dead.
He really loved History.
Which was why it was a great pity most of his students used his curriculum time to catch up on their sleep. No small wonder, but yes, a pity indeed.
He paused for just a while to get a fresh piece of chalk, and gave the students one of his rare glances. Only Miss Granger was copying down what he was talking about. And for a change, so was Mr. Weasley.
Only Mr. Weasley, in fact was laboriously inking out a crafty plan of kidnap. Sucking his quill, he proceeded to list the necessary precautions to take.
One would of course have to make sure the victim (that is, Hermione) would be completely unaware of the events. Ron as well was only too well versed with the possible repercussions with Hermione's knowledge. It was hard luck sometimes, having a genius for a best friend. It was also hard luck at times having a superstar for your other best friend, but that was not the issue at hand.
Secrecy had to be invoked. He'd practiced during Potions with Harry a super-secret soft whisper, just to get used to it. Of course, the fact that Snape had been casting the evil eye on them every now and then helped matters plenty.
Then of course, there had to be the place to hide the kidnapped one.
In this case, it was made harder by the fact that they not only had to spirit Hermione away to a place where she could not get away, they also had to spirit her away to a place where she could enjoy herself. And Hermione, being the energetic and independent young witch she was, would not submit to that without a fight, in which Ron would probably end up the loser (it wasn't he was that bad at duelling, he just didn't like to hit a lady, he rationalised).
On the other hand if it came down to a show of brute force, he could probably overpower her, but he severely doubted she would enjoy him carting her away caveman style. And it might be a painful experience.
For both himself and her.
She might enjoy Harry carting her away though…
But bugger it; it was impossible to picture either Hermione or Harry agreeing peaceably to that plan of action.
But he'd leave the question of the how-to up to Harry, it served the boy bloody right, he was sleeping while Ron was – granted, not working, but strategising.
"Oi! Harry!" he hissed in the super-secretly soft tones.
"Mrpgh." Was the only response, unless you decided to count the very faint line of drool hanging. Glasses askew, hair more rumpled than usual, Harry was looking utterly worn out. Curse him. Ron just didn't have the heart to rouse him.
Then there was the when of the affair. It would have to be a suitably long interval in which no one would miss Hermione. After lunch Saturday seemed a good plan. An added plus was that Hermione would probably be too full to protest too much. Heavy too. Not good, in case the caveman operation had to take place. Ah… but before lunch, now that was an idea.
A picnic! And picnics meant sandwiches and pickles and…
Ron unconsciously licked his lips.
And no one would miss her, seeing some Hogswart students went to Hogsmeade for lunch instead.
It was lucky for them that at least one of them in the trio had common sense enough to solve two birds in one bush (Ron had a rather dubious usage of idioms). A picnic lunch and no one would notice her absence.
Then the where was easy enough – Ron knew there was a lovely nice spot near the lake under a sweet shady tree where hardly anyone went, since it was on the further side of the lake from the castle and Hogsmeade.
And being on the further end of the grounds, it was highly unlikely Hermione would be able to make a dash for it back to her books. Hermione was a clever girl, plenty of brains. Ron had absolute faith in her that she'd see the sense in remaining like the good girl she was and relaxing.
Certainly, it would make the kidnappers jobs easier. No need to bind her up and all that.
And most certainly, there was the ransom. Good kidnappings always had ransoms. Victor Krum, perhaps? But by the time he would have received the owl with the enclosed picture of Hermione having a picnic, the day would have been done. Plus Pig probably would have half-killed himself flying that great nasty distance.
And he was very fond of Pig. As Harry was fond of Hermione, to put it lightly.
It was then that brainwave numbers 2 and 3 struck him.
He leaned gave himself a pat on the back. Which no one noticed being out of the ordinary, seeing they were either asleep, a ghost, or Hermione.
Indeed, it was lucky for his two best friends in the world that they had this marvellous pal with common sense enough to beat two birds around one bush.
Thank you all for reviewing :D I was most delighted to find I had not been a) a bore, b) ignored, c) flamed.
Once again, please review, people tend to get discouraged and feel unmotivated to write without reviews, plus I get such a kick out of seeing the familiar bot in my inbox.
Apolla, I'm trying to make them all be the main character. Hermione hasn't had much say just yet, but since she is the subject of the fic, I thought it well to even out things.
Star light, Good on ye!
white dove, I control your conscience. Mwhaha!