141A few days after meeting the God of... Obesity…
'Was it… nah, Obesity it is,' Saitama mentally shrugged, not caring what kind of god this… Champagne? No, Champan?
'I'll just call him Champ,' Saitama decided. He wasn't sure if the chubby cat man minded… well, he didn't care either way.
Now, he stood out in the wilderness, the same area Genos continually sparred with him, after receiving a personal visit from Vados when she said a pickup at 'anywhere he wants'...
And here he was, standing in his usual red, yellow, and white-caped hero costume, with his 'pets' standing by his feet side by side while they had no clue why their owner, the avatar of monster genocide in human form, was standing around in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but sand and razed landscape on a scale of destruction Black Sperm guessed was the baldy's doing, including a large hole blasted in a plateau on the sandy beach.
Feeling nothing but the scorching sun from the azure sky and the fresh breeze brushing their hide, and drowned by nothing but dead silence in the air while boredom started to irritate their sanity, Black Sperm decided to speak up to pass the time.
"So… why are we here again?" he asked.
"The chubby cat man told me to wait somewhere out in the open," Saitama replied with words the black Teletubby cannot comprehend without prior knowledge.
"Chubby cat-man? Who's that?"
"I forgot. Champ-something. I just call him Champ if he gets here," Saitama shrugged.
Black Sperm looked at Rover, who just tilted his head wordlessly conveying his confusion with a small puppylike whine.
"Ok… and you are doing this because…" Without any proper method to approach the subject, Black Sperm just decided to draw his answer out awkwardly.
"Well… He wants me to fight in a tournament for him," Saitama said. The whole story would take far too long to tell so he stuck with a simple, yet unclear answer.
"...tournament?" Black Sperm was even more confused. What kind of tournament force their participants wait in the middle of nowhere just for a pickup… actually, Black Sperm does not know if Saitama was being weird or forgot the actual pickup spot in the city.
"Yeah."
"So… why are we here with you?"
"I don't trust you two living in my house. That is why you're here, carrying dog food for Rover."
Black Sperm then looked at the plastic bag of dog food hanging in his hands.
"Oh…"
"Anyways, where is this spaceship Champa keeps telling me to wait for… I want to see it."
"...Spaceship?" Black Sperm was getting more and more confused the more questions were answered from this cryptic baldy, who was gazing at the clear blue sky looking for something other than random birds.
"There should… oh?"
With the audible sound of rushing wind in the air, a large… remarkably, very gargantuan object appeared in the sky, so large it even is mistaken for a real solar eclipse from the three's point of view.
Wordless, Black Sperm stared at the giant floating piece of metal with his jaw hanging from the hinges, with his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.
Saitama mirrored his appearance, his face transforming from his regular neutral expression to one of surprise and awe. His eyes were wide, close to popping out of his skull and his jaw could not lower anymore without ripping the sides of his face.
"I-Is that the ship?" Black Sperm asked in a whisper.
Saitama wanted to respond with something sarcastic but no words came out of his mouth. The ship captured his gaze and he couldn't break away. His expression didn't change even when Champa exited the ship… via levitating platform with Vados dutifully standing behind him. The ship was so big, Saitama could not tell from where Champa exited the ship.
The descending platform, defying gravity via unknown means, landed in front of them while the two gawked stupidly at the massive ship covering up most of the sky. The god of obesity and Vados stepped out, walking to Saitama, who finally managed to close his mouth although his eyes were still wide.
"We're here!" Champa announced, spreading his arms wide apart in a grandiose manner.
His loud voice snapped Black Sperm out of his stupor and shifted his eyes from the ship to the…
'He calls this chubby?' Black Sperm rudely thought. The purple cat man was not chubby. He was ROUND as a ball with his gut indiscreetly protruding from his waist.
"…Uhh… hi," Black Sperm awkwardly greeted, as he lost the energy to properly reply from the visual shock.
"What do you think? It's fit for a god, yes?" Champa asked with a large smile on his face, obviously enjoying their surprised expressions.
Hearing his words, Saitama slowly lowered his gaze to the grinning god of obesity.
"...…Wow." Saitama could only muster to say this word.
Champa beamed even more at this comment. "You like it? Well, you should be thankful that I generous enough to let you ride in it. After all, you are but a mortal while I am a god!"
"Truthfully, this ship belonged to Boros." Vados cut in after Champa's gloating.
"His real ship, however… should I say it, Champa-sama?" She asked the chubby god with a gentle smile… one that emits a devilish aura behind the mask of serenity.
"Don't you dare tell them anything more, Vados!" Champa shouted, knowing what Vados was about to say exactly.
"Ehhh… oh, I see. I remember this one…" Saitama 'ohh'ed at her words. He now could tell why it was so familiar in the first place.
"Though… I thought I broke his ship the last time we met. How'd he get another one so fast? And made it bigger and more menacing?" Saitama asked as Black Sperm looked at his owner with disbelief, upon hearing that he broke the ship that appeared in A-City.
Vados glanced at Champa. "Shall I tell them Champa-sama?" she asked.
"...Nah. I want to see his face when we show it instead hehe!" He denied.
"Very well," she said before turning to Saitama, "you'll learn of them soon enough."
"Ehh… oh well. Anyways, can we get on?" Saitama asked moving on to the matter at hand.
Champa looked at Black Sperm and Rover… tilting his head in confusion, never before seeing such life forms before.
"Hoi, Vados…" Champa asked as he pointed at Black Sperm.
"Yes, Champa-sama?" Vados turned her attention to where Champa was pointing.
"What is that… uh… thing?" He asked.
"I believe it is Saitama's companion that he asked to bring along," Vados explained.
"Nah. They're pets," Saitama shrugged off as Black Sperm hung his head in depression upon hearing that. Rover, however, barked once in response.
"Really? The other one I can believe, but… that one doesn't look like an average pet," Champa said, looking at Black Sperm in confusion.
"Well, I met him a few weeks ago, and he just followed me back home. It keeps telling me he is a pet, so…" Saitama shrugged as Black Sperm's dignity as a former Dragon Class monster took further damage. Yes, he got himself into this… so he cannot blame Saitama for calling him a pet.
"Fine, are they the only two you're bringing along?" Champa asked.
"Yep. Anyways… you said it is a tournament or something, right? So, there are others with me… meaning, who am I fighting with?" Saitama asked. This question bothered him for some time during his wait for pickup.
"Well, there is Boros," Champa said as he rubbed his chin in thought. He opened his mouth again to continue, but his next words failed to come out as he forgot… about the others.
"...and the others, you will meet them when we get on! So get on!" Champa avoided the topic using his usual outburst.
"...ok," Shrugging, Saitama nodded and walked toward the platform. He was very curious on what riding in a spaceship felt like anyways, while forgetting about the other fighters already (including Boros). Seeing him walking, Black Sperm snapped out of his depression and hurried onto the platform. Rover just ran to the platform barking like a dog along the way.
"Boros! Pull us back up!" shouted the God of Obesity towards the sky. Somehow, as if 'Boros' heard the God of Destruction despite the cat man not possessing any form of electronic communication, the platform levitated back up to the sky a moment after, towards the massive spacecraft hovering high above the Earth.
Saitama and his two pets… well, pet and a 'pet', watched as a dim light appeared in their vision before the light gradually grew from a small dot to a large white hole as they ascended closer and closer to the ship. Each of the three was filled with different emotions. For Saitama, an innocent curiosity and anticipation of traveling through space for the first time in his life. For Rover, animalistic curiosity of where his master was leading him. For Black Sperm, awestruck wonder as he was about to discover worlds and life within the stars.
The platform stopped outside a pentagonal doorway under the ship, and the door opened for the five passengers as they entered the ship. They stepped off the platform, feet making clicking sounds on the hard, black floor. It was the exact same well-polished floor from when Saitama broke into Boros' first ship. Saitama looked back at the platform and heard it make a sealing sound as if it was locking back shut. Right now, they were standing in a wide open space of black metal with the light shining from above.
On the ceiling, the three newcomers noticed what seemed to be… half-spherical objects protruding from the metal. The turrets were steel grey, with pale circuits drawing white lines across the metallic bodies. They were round and polished, not bearing any gun cylinders on their bodies. Saitama and his 'pets' did not know what they were, but from what the green laser lines dotting on their persons, the three could guess that they were either scanners, cameras… or…
"Uh, what are those things? Cameras?" Black Sperm asked as he swore he discerned circular lens within their almost-opaque domes.
"I am afraid you are incorrect. The devices you see are but, what the mortals call, laser turrets. A security measure against unwanted intruders. You are being scanned for any unwanted elements that might be tagged along with your persons." Vados informed instead of Champa, despite his mouth already opened ready to brag about the ship.
"Oh…"
"In case you are curious, they are capable of vaporizing most beings in the universe. Almost all beings," Vados added, putting emphasis on the last part, leaving Black Sperm gulping with sweat dripping from his pitch-black hide. The next second later, the 'laser turrets' beeped as the emerald laser pointers ceased, no longer dotting the three. Black Sperm sighed as it meant they were in the green. h
Sometime later, Champa led the three down a long hallway, not stopping until he reached an intersection. The hallways were quite different than that of Boros' ship. Instead of the dark purple, alien walls, ceiling, and floor, his eyes were graced with grey steel and magenta circuit lines decorating the hallways, a one hundred eighty degree change from the dark hallways he remembered.
"Huh… the hallways are different from before," Saitama commented to liven up the silent, awkward atmosphere.
"From before?" Black Sperm responded, unable to take the silence.
"From when I busted Boros' ship. It was much darker and alien before though," He shrugged.
Minutes ticked by as Champa led them throughout the ship, his face smiling and his eyes closed. He seemed to be paying no attention to where he was going, but Saitama was too busy ohhing and ahhing at the complexity of the ship to care, ranging from the hand scanners on the slide doors and the small hovering disc droids the size of a human hand levitating past their vision to maintain the ship. Black Sperm, however, noticed this odd expression.
"Hey, god-man, do you even know where you're going?" the monster 'pet' asked.
One of Champa's eyes opened, and he frowned. "Of course I do! Why would you dare doubt me?" he said.
"Well, you didn't seem to be paying much attention. I mean, your eyes were closed," Black Sperm pointed out.
"My eyes don't matter. My mind is so great that I memorized this entire ship in a few seconds," Champa bragged, a smile returning to his confident face.
Vados let out a small cough and smiled at Champa. "Champa-sama, don't you think you're exaggerating quite a bit?" she asked innocently.
"Exaggerating? I am not!" Champa disagreed.
"If you say so, my lord, but I would advise taking a quicker route."
Champa growled and quickened his pace. He led them down a few more hallways, glancing at Vados every once in a while.
"Champa-sama, I do think it's about time you lead us to the fighters' quarters," Vados spoke up once again.
"Huh? That's what I'm doing!" he said.
"From the map that I am reading, this is leading us back the way we came," she observed, a large map appearing above her staff.
Saitama turned his attention to the map of the interior of the ship. The were many lines crisscrossing one another. It was extremely complicated. There were a few different areas labeled on the map. "Living Quarters" and "Exit" were two of them. A black dot symbolized where they were. They could all clearly see it was moving away from the "Living Quarters" label and towards the "Exit" label.
"So you don't know where you're heading after all," Black Sperm accused.
"What? Of course, I do! I was taking a long way!" Champa said.
"You sure about that? It sure does look like you don't know where you're going."
Saitama, who had been quiet most of the time, spoke up. "Can we just change direction? I want to see the rest of the ship," he asked.
"Not before we get to the fighter's quarters! As your recruiter, it is my obligation to introduce you to the other fighters and to ensure my team's synergy!" Champa stubbornly denied as Saitama whined with another 'ehhhhh'. Black Sperm, however, narrowed his eyes into wide slits with a doubtful gaze.
"Champa-sama, will you at least use the map this time?" Vados asked.
Champa opened his mouth to deny the assistance but then sighed. "Very well, if it will please you. Of course, I could always do it myself, however, I do not wish to displease anyone before the tournament. Even if it is you, Vados," he added the last part in an annoyed voice.
"Is it because the paper map you have is too complex for you, Champa-sama?" Vados asked not caring for his words.
"What?! No, of course not!" Champa denied quickly.
"Show us, the map, Champ," Saitama asked, his gloved hand opened out to Champa as if asking a kid to give back stolen candy.
Champa sighed in defeat and dug his hands into his baggy pants, and handed a clean, robust parchment to Saitama.
Taking the scrolled up paper, Saitama rolled them open with two hands to see…
"Wow. I mean… I did think Boros' ship was confusing before but…"
What met his eyes was probably the most complex puzzle maze a kid with an annoying habit of irritating others, and too much time on his hands would draw. Black Sperm took a sneak peek at the map… and dropped his jaw.
"What the monster hell is that? Hoi, god-man, please tell me that's not the ship interior…" Black Sperm asked hoping that his eyes and ears were deceiving him. The lines and paths were so numerous that they were almost half the size of raisins. The ship was that huge, so it made sense for the interior design to be complex… however, to him, it was just as ridiculous as hell. So ridiculous, that it rivaled that of the fact that once, he had been killed over one trillion times in order to be truly defeated before the fall of the Monster Association.
"...can you even read this, Champ?" Saitama followed as a series of sweat started running across his shiny head.
"Of course!" the avatar of diabetes replied. He was not convinced.
"...um, excuse me… uh…" Saitama turned his head to Vados… but he did not know her name… more like her name slipped past his attention since the last time they spoke. His eyes twitched two times as they tried to avoid Vados' kind, gentle eyes, not wanting to embarrass himself with his forgetfulness.
"Vados," she reminded him, her smile not leaving her face. Saitama sighed in relief upon hearing her reply, not caring for his image anymore.
"Oh, Vados… could you read this?" He asked pointing at the map.
"Turn left at the next turn and then walk straight forward until you see a large slide door reinforced with adamantite steel," She simply replied with directions as Champa looked at the three-forked road ahead…
"I knew that! Why didn't you ask me?" Champa shouted.
"I did ask you," Saitama reminded.
"I didn't know you wanted me to read aloud!"
"..." Saitama just started walking, moving past the noisy god and turning left at the turn. He disappeared from their sight as he left them behind. His reaction was so sudden and casual, Champa and Black Sperm could only watch as he walked with his usual wandering gait and subtly left the god behind with a wordless message saying 'That's it. I'm out. Peace.' It took Champa ten whole seconds to realize that Saitama just left him hanging so appallingly.
"What? Hey! Come back here!" Champa shouted, and he ran after Saitama. Black Sperm, Rover, and Vados followed him.
They soon caught up with Saitama, who was staring at the large, door made of metal, unlike steel. It was bigger than necessary and looked like it could withstand attacks from the most formidable of monsters on Earth… or even planet-busting level or above force.
There was a giant, diamond eye of crystal in the middle of the door. It was surrounded by a diamond with lines extending from it like the blood vessels underneath the skin, only more visible.
"So, how do we get in?" Black Sperm asked as he walked up beside Saitama.
"I don't know. Last time I was here I just punched through, but now… well, I could," Saitama responded, considering entering the way he did the last time he was on Boros' ship. Before he could, his words reached the great God of Destruction's ears. It unsettled him, making the chubby god rush to the vandalizing Saitama, moving so fast he left dust behind his wake.
"No, no, no! Please do not break the ship!" Champa pleaded. Having this one of a kind ship damaged on before its first month will be… wasteful, and highly regrettable in many ways. Especially before he can gloat it to Beerus.
"Well… can you get us in, Champ?" he asked.
"Well, I could let you in, but after you disrespected me earlier…" Champa glared at Saitama, provoking the baldy to recognize his greatness. Although, apparently, it had the opposite reaction, illustrated by Saitama's poker face turning into an irritated frown.
"If you don't, I will punch it down and go in," Saitama decided, seeing as the God of Obesity was about to start a long speech about his importance. Saitama did not care about the god's standing in the universe, so decided to skip the long speech and rear back his fist.
"No!" Champa shouted, lunging forward to block the door with his own body. Saitama contemplated punching the god for a short moment but ended up lowering his fist to hear what Champa had to say.
"Before you do anything rash, you should know that this ship was very expensive. It can never be replaced! Well, it can, but the next ship is mine!"
Saitama regretted his decision to not punch the god along with the door.
"Please just open the door," Saitama requested.
"Fine! I'm only going to do it because I want inside! I'm confident that you will not assault me, a God of Destruction," Champa agreed.
Saitama made a mental note to sock him when he had the chance next time.
"Alright… Boros, open the door! I know you're listening in there!"
So he did not know how to open the door. Saitama thought. Black Sperm and Vados could see Saitama's very appearance change from dull to corpse-like deadpan. Vados giggled at his amusing reaction behind Saitama's back.
As he said that, the door unlocked without warning. Turning ninety degrees clockwise, the gear-like mechanisms within diamond crystal clicked with the sound of falling iron bars in mechanical tune.
The door opened, allowing Saitama and his two pets to see inside. It was a large and impressive room, decorated as if it were an arena. In the center of the room was the one-eyed alien, Boros, sitting on his throne, just like the last time when Saitama first saw him.
"Welcome… I would ask your opinion of my domain, but, you already witnessed it before. And destroyed my previous ship in our battle," Boros welcomed with his belligerent grin.
"Oi…" Black Sperm uttered in awe. He never met another alien before… though he had to admit, the one sitting on the foreign throne looked no different than the various monsters out on earth. However, he had one quality that made him stand out from the monsters. He was no monster. The ambiance around him revealed nothing like that of a monster's. It was like a human's, only… much different.
Boros turned his eye on Black Sperm, staring at the monster for a moment. "Hmm, are you a… friend of Saitama's?" he wondered. It was a weak being; it could not be a fighter.
"They're my pets," Saitama answered. This comment made Boros surprised.
"Really? They're your slaves?"
"What? No, no. They just followed me home on one of my trips… they won't leave me alone, so I took them in," Saitama replied, waving off the question.
"I see," Boros said, turning away from the two monsters.
"Who is this guy?" Black Sperm asked Saitama.
Boros looked back at Black Sperm, hearing the monster's question.
"My apologies, I have not properly introduced myself," he said.
"I am Boros, once known as the strongest being in this universe. I was the one who invaded your world on that day. I doubt that you all do not remember my ship destroying a city," Boros introduced with a warring tone.
"Oh, right, that," Black Sperm nodded, thinking back to the crash. No monster did not know the day City A got reduced to rubble in that instant.
"Anyways…" Boros then switched his gaze to Champa.
"Should I introduce the others?" he asked the fat god.
"Go ahead," Champa agreed. He'd heard this same introduction four times and was bored of it already.
"Very well. Enter!" Boros shouted.
On the left side of the throne room, a sliding door slid open, as three persons entered the room.
The room had no source of light. Saitama couldn't see anything from where he was standing. The only beam of light came from Boros' room, but that only lit a small portion of the incredibly large room they had exited. The three fighters emerged from the darkness. A small boy donned in armor, a… reptilian man of a sort with a tail, and a tall, bald purple man in a cloak.
"Warriors, I must introduce you to the final combatant, Saitama," Boros announced.
Saitama looked at them very… uninterested to say the least. Black Sperm, however, had a different reaction. He never met an alien before… though he had to admit, after seeing all the monsters on earth, he doubted that there were any aliens that could surprise him.
"I'm Cabba, pleased to meet you, Mr. Saitama," the small boy introduced, bowing.
"I am Frost, welcome. I hope we can become friends during this tournament," the reptilian said, stepping forward to shake hands with the baldy.
"Oh… same," Saitama replied as he accepted the handshake. Though, the lizardman's hand was kind of rough. He hoped his glove does not get scratched.
The purple man only nodded, forcing Champa to enlighten the newcomers to his name.
"This is Hit, he doesn't talk very much," Champa introduced.
"Ok. So… I'm Saitama. Hero for a hobby. Nice to meet you all." Saitama introduced.
The three appraised the bald man in the ridiculous hero costume strictly, never before seeing a person like this, and it is a vast universe out there. Each of the three fighters had their reactions.
"I must say, I am indeed curious… I heard you fought the infamous Lord Boros alone in his ship and won. Tell me, how did the fight turn out?" Frost asked. He was curious what the Universe's Strongest was doing in the twenty-year timeframe.
"Well… it was sad," Saitama gave his opinion.
"Oh? Why would that be?" Frost asked. He was expecting Saitama to be at least a bit excited, not sad. Could something had happened during the battle?
"...because it ended the way it did," Saitama vaguely replied as he stared blankly into Frost's eyes.
The news of Boros' death was… recent. Very recent. The most powerful being in the galaxy and ruthless conqueror that went missing for over twenty years was… dead. Once the death of the universe's most powerful tyrant reached the ears of the worlds, countless souls cried out in joy, knowing that they are safe from the threat of the Dark Matter Thieves for life. For the minority, however, including Frost, his death was more of a surprise.
Frost's attention was focused on the soul that defeated the infamous Boros. Surprised, was he to find out that the God of Destruction revived Boros. Even more surprised when he learned he was about to meet the man who ended him. And… he did not know how to react when he saw the man, more like underwhelmed at first sight, though he hid his reaction flawlessly. Who wouldn't have the thought that the man was nothing special in each and every way? Frost tried to discern any key points, noticeable features that made this… baldy, as strong as Champa claimed to be… though, he couldn't, even with his advanced skills in discerning deception. These were the thoughts of Frost the moment he met the baldy.
"Why?" Frost asked as he was curious. This man found Boros' death… sad. Many people felt many different ways, but Frost could not even begin to mourn.
"...because he did not find what he wanted in the end," Saitama responded in melancholy.
Frost blinked at Saitama's answer. Just what was he saying?
"What did he want, then?" Frost asked, staring right into the lifeless eyes of the bald man.
"A good fight."
'What?' Frost thought as he turned his head to Lord Boros, still seated on his grand throne made and crafted from the finest. The former Dominator of the Universe only stared back at Frost with his one eye, stoically gazing back at him.
"I hope you all made yourselves comfortable, fighters. For we shall depart soon to our destination." Boros informed as the ship rumbled with life, energy channeled into the thrusters as it slowly ascended past Earth's blue sky into the star-dotted void of space.
"Uh, you didn't say where the living quarters are," Black Sperm reminded.
"Oh, they're through here," Cabba said, leading the three new additions to the door the fighters exited from.
As the group stepped into to room, the sliding door slid closed behind them. As soon as the door had shut, lights began to illuminate the rather large room, a square room with many entries on the flat walls.
"Your room is the door on the left," Cabba explained. He pointed to a large door made of durable, black metal.
"Ok," Saitama said as he began to walk toward the door. Black Sperm and Rover quickly followed behind him.
As Saitama and his two entourage entered, the door behind him slid back down, closing behind him as the lights automatically turned on.
"...so… that is Boros? The guy who laid waste to A-City in a heartbeat?" Black Sperm asked to banish the awkward atmosphere.
"...yeah."
"You… fought him? On the ship?" Black Sperm asked again.
"Yep."
"...you were there? I thought only S-Class gathered there, so… you know what, never mind. Anyways, you met a guy you personally killed. And yet… you don't seem concerned?" He asked.
"Nope."
Black Sperm honestly expected a more… emotional reply. But he should've expected better.
"No worries about him taking revenge and whatnot?"
"Nah."
"Not even a single thought?"
"Nope."
"...okaaay… so, is there any food here?" Black Sperm asked, deciding to not speak on this topic any further. Right as he asked that, Rover paddled his four tiny feet towards Saitama, nudging his ankle with his head, whining for food.
"...ah." Saitama should go ask about that as well. His stomach growled thinking about it. Come to think of it, it was almost lunch.
*Author note*
Yeah, it's been a long time. I have been busy writing with others, wanting to include more excellent OPM crossovers for the fanfic site. One of them is a My Hero Academia and OPM crossover I have been working on with another writer.
Also, as for my other fic, The Stardust of Remnant, I still haven't had anyone that would like to write with me to help improve the story and fuel the motivation to continue writing it. The position is still open for anyone interested.