The name passed over his lips gently as Kylo awoke from his dream. He was vaguely aware of the room around him as he tried to understand what had just happened. He had been in a deep sleep, just as he had intended. But somewhere in the dreamless void he could have sworn he felt her, unlike any way he had before. He never saw her, never heard her speak, but he could have sworn he felt her Force signature. Cool and collected, with an unimaginable joy he had come to know as just.. her.

He tentatively called out to her, and that was when he woke.

"I must be losing it. Now I can't even stop dreaming of her." he thought. This new form of torture he had no control over. He could focus his thoughts elsewhere when he was awake, channeling his feelings into his power with the dark side, but this.. this is something entirely out of his control.

With even the thought of feeling her again real or not, it broke open the wounds he was trying to ignore. He balled his fists and slammed them into the nearest wall with a resounding yell. He was the Supreme Leader! He had everything he could ever want. Money, power, fame. Yet none of it was enough. He had given everything he had to the First Order, to Snoke, and what had he gotten in return? A shitty nights sleep dreaming about a girl he hoped he'd never see again.

Angrily he changed into his training clothes and left to vent some of his anger on training simulations before he ended up killing the next person who looked at him wrong.

"I want that sleeping medication doubled tonight." he fumed to the nearest droid as his long strides carried him towards his destination.

Over the next few weeks, Rey was careful to guard her connection to the Force as she began to train, and so far, no connections had been made. The room she had found was cleared, and was furnished with whatever they found that was thought useful for training and meditating. But after many days of training, Rey found herself become restless.

"I need to do something, anything." she breathed to the small group in front of her. Leia, Poe, and Finn stood around her looking equally concerned. "I think I need to go out and begin to explore some of the stuff around us. I can't just stay inside all day its beginning to drive me insane." she said desperately trying to get them to understand. She just wanted to explore outside, but as soon as she started to slip out Poe and Finn caught her and sent her straight to Leia.

"We don't exactly know what's out there, sweetheart." Poe retorted. That had become her new nickname whether she liked it or not. She rolled her eyes at the comment. "That is exactly my point. I need the unexpected. I need something I can fight that I don't have to worry about seriously hurting. She eyed Finn who had been the one to help her with her sparring recently. "Rey you've only just begun to really get your strength back, I'm not sure this is the best idea right now." he argued.

Leia just sat in silence as the other three argued. Listening intently but keeping quiet for the time being. Rey gave her a pleading look. If she could handle Kylo, she can handle whatever beasts might be in the nearby jungle. With a sigh Leia held up her hands in mock defeat which silenced the two men beside her. "Just promise me you will keep a comm on you and you wont go farther than a hundred meters from the base."

"Done!" Rey said joyously as the other two complained at her decision. Leia eyed them harshly. "Rey has proven time and time again to be more capable than both of you, so can you just shut up and trust her?" she said irritably and walked away. Rey beamed as she did and began straight for the door. "I still don't like this." Poe called from behind her. "Swear your going to be careful?" Finn called after. She didn't care. With a slight nod she made her way out of the base and into the dense forest.

To say it was a breath of fresh air to get out of that base was an understatement. All of her life Rey had been scavenging, spending little time in the space she called home on Jakku. Since then she'd been jumping from one place to the next in a crazy whirlwind and now is suddenly confined to this tiny base for weeks. Worst of all, she was able to feel the world around her when she used the Force. That's part of the reason why she was so desperate to get out in the first place. She wanted to see the world she had been Force sensing for herself.

She made her way down a nearby hill where she knew a stream would be. The bubbling water made it's way through the dense foliage in a curious way. Rey decided it was an easy path to follow to get a ways away from the base and the peering eyes she knew were trying to keep track of her. As soon as it was out of sight, it was no surprise to hear her comm go off. "Rey are you okay?" a worried voice called to her. "Yes I'm fine. I'm just walking." She said irritated. Poe was someone who she hadn't known for very long, but they had gotten close these past few weeks. Finn hadn't been around as much as Rey had anticipated. He had spent most of his time with an injured engineer, Rose. They talked a little about the complex relations between Finn and Rose as soon as they had the time to.

Finn was faced with an incredible guilt since she had only become injured by saving him from apparent suicide. He alluded to there being a bit of a romantic connection between the two, which made even more sense to his constant devotion to help with her recovery. Instead she had found she spent most of her free time with Poe Dameron. Aside from loving to call her by his pet name, which annoyed her to no end, he actually was quite a nice friend to have around. They shared stories of what each had been going through the weeks leading up to the Battle of Crait. She made sure to leave out any of the parts relating to her connection with Kylo, which in turn meant lying about who really killed Snoke and garnering more respect than she felt she deserved.

After getting all of those stories out of the way, they mainly were able to discuss new plans for the Resistance, Rey's training (or lack of), and a few personal bits here and there of each others upbringing. She felt relaxed with him. He was the complete opposite of Ben. Calm, gentle, good-natured. But sometimes, he could be a little too protective for Rey's liking.

"I will be sure to call if there is any trouble but until then will you please let me walk in peace?" She said exasperatedly into her comm. "Hey, hey, hey, no need to be so touchy I'm just making sure you're okay." He shot back and she could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm fine Poe, thank you. If there is anything to report you will be the first to know. " she said apologetically and left it at that. Maybe she should appreciate that he was taking the time to care about her. It was just a very foreign feeling.

Continuing to follow the stream down, it was met with other several streams before it had finally become a decent size. The cool clear water trickled through rocks and vines, creating small waterfalls here and there. It was enchanting for Rey to watch. She had never seen such a thing on Jakku, or anywhere for that matter. She felt the peace and harmony at the joining of the streams. "This is it." she breathed as she reached a small clearing. Whatever she had been looking for, it was here.

Finding a good spot she began to clear a space away. She sat down and crossed her legs to meditate. Breathing in the cool air the jungle offered, and relishing in the sound of the water beside her. She reached out with the force, as she had done a few times lately. She was always surprised to find that there was nothing there. No angry Kylo waiting to kill her. Nothing.

She decided to push harder, just to see if anything was there. She felt strong, but she felt lost and isolated at the same time. She found herself wishing... wishing to be back with him. Before things got complicated. When she felt she could finally speak to someone who understood, who may even be able to help her. Back when she had hope that he could be saved.. and that she could be the one to bring about his redemption.

Despite what he wanted to believe. She didn't want to just abandon him in Snoke's throne room, but there was no other option at the time. She had to make her choice, and she was not about to let everyone she ever loved die. He was safe, unconscious, but safe when she left him the first time, and he was just as safe when she closed the door on him.

"Maybe the bond really is broken?" She thought to herself. She pushed herself again. Opening herself up completely to the will of the Force, just as Luke had taught her to.

He could swear he heard her call his name.

It had been weeks since he dreamed of her. He made sure when he was asleep he dreamed of nothing. He refused to dream of her, or his parents, or Luke. To have any element of his life out of his control.

He felt a disturbance. A pull. Something that felt off. Quickly dismissing himself from the bridge he made his way to his quarters and settled down to meditate. He reached out with the Force. Attempting to visualize whatever he had felt.

Nothing. There was only blackness, and a dead silence. He locked his jaw in frustration, perhaps he was wrong. Clenching his fists in he snapped open his eyes to return to his duties when he was frozen in shock. She was there, in front of him, meditating from the looks of it. Her brow furrowed in concentration. She hadn't noticed his presence and seemed to be losing herself in the Force around her.

He took a selfish, guilty moment to just stare at her. Tracing the lines down her face. She looked stronger than he had remembered. More determined. Her muscles more toned than the last time he saw her. She must be training. But why was she calling out to him? Why create a connection when it was obvious they could have left it severed.

He didn't know what to do, to say. The last time they had met she made it very clear what her intentions were, and that was months ago. Why hadn't the connection opened since then, and why now?

Rey suddenly felt a shift in the atmosphere around her. She gasped and opened her eyes. There he was, right in front of her in a similar position of meditation. "How long has he been here? Why didn't I notice?"

She forced herself to meet his gaze. His dark eyes like two dark pools reflecting her own confusion.

She was frozen, unable to say anything, lest risk the wrath she was sure he had pent up against her. Her eyes darted downward and noted his meditative position.

"Why now." was all he said, his deep voice resonating calmly between them. She stirred lightly and stared intently at the plants before her.

Breathing deeply in effort to calm her beating heart she forced herself to meet his gaze. "I closed myself off from the Force." she replied and watched as he took in her words. "Why now." he repeated again emphasizing his question. "I couldn't go on like that forever." was her simple reply.

She watched as his brows furrowed, in thought or anger she didn't know. He was calm with her now, but unpredictable, and could snap at any moment. They sat in silence for a moment. Both too stubborn to start any conversation. What was left to be said? They made their choices.

"Was it worth it?" she found herself asking after a moment. She had spent so much time the past months wondering if he was happy with his choices. "Killing Snoke, becoming Supreme Leader. Have you found what you're looking for?" her voice twisted in disgust. She was stirring the rage in him, she knew, she could feel it through their bond. Whatever feelings he had been suppressing he now shared with her full force.

She expected him to lash out and her, to yell and throw, but she was suprised to look and find his eyes downcast and rage being swallowed.

"No." he said and she tilted her head in confusion as her temper ignited. "THEN WHY?" She yelled and leapt to her feet. "Was everything for nothing?" she seethed bitterly as tears formed in her eyes. "You have killed so many, destroyed lives, taken whatever you wanted, and you are still as lost as before? Why Ben!" her anger turning in to a pleading question for justification.

The anger he had been swallowing reared it's ugly head as he raised himself from the ground. "There was no other way, I did what I had to." he snarled at her. "I don't expect you to ever understand. You made you're choice." he said with disgust.

"I had to!" she cried exasperatedly, tears streaking down her face in agony.

"YOU DID NOT!" he yelled forcefully as he turned from her striking something that must have been nearby. "I offered you everything, Rey." he said swiftly turning back to face her. "You could have stayed with me, instead you chose to trick me and leave." the bitterness and hurt in his voice betrayed his seething figure.

She felt her heart skip as he mentioned her name and wiped the tears off of her face. "I didn't want to." she stated looking at him. Hoping he would see the pleading in her eyes. She watched as his features softened and turn to confusion. She attempted to explain before he started jumping to conclusions. "You have to understand. I couldn't let them die. They were all I had. Resistance or not, they were my only friends." she begged him to understand.

He winced at her words and looked away huffing in exasperation. "Don't you get it, Rey? I gave up everything for you. I killed my master for you, for us. You were all I had." he said and she felt the contempt he had for himself in sharing it.

She felt her body relax and her anger was replaced with pity. Pity for the man standing in front of her, so confused with his hatred and rage in the dark side that he had abandoned all reasoning. Behind the tall, fearless facade, she could see the broken man laid bare.

They both stayed motionless, only feet apart. "I'm sorry." was all she said. She could feel his anger budding again as her pity washed over him.