1You can't love half a person.
2. love
Marinette is eighteen years old when she finally admits to herself she doesn't know what love is.
Oh, she's sure she's experienced it to a certain degree. She knows she loves Adrien Agreste in a childlike, naive way and she now admits to herself that she loves Chat Noir, too. Because how else would she explain the feelings that overcame her whenever he was near? She adores Adrien and fancies him in an innocent way that makes her heart beat slightly faster and always brings a smile and a light blush to her face. But the way she loves Chat was different- he makes her heart race and her cheeks flame and leaves her constantly flustered. But he is also sweet and it confuses her to no end how she could love not one, but two boys simultaneously. So, she decides that she doesn't know what love is. But she wants to find out.
It's been years since she first met Adrien and she knows that asking him out is out of the question. Not when it was blatantly obvious that he doesn't return her feelings. She's overheard enough whispered conversations between him and Nino to know that there's someone else, a feat that always leaves her feeling sick when she thinks about it, and so she knows that trying to spark some kind of relationship between her and Adrien isn't going to happen.
So, she decides to try out Chat Noir. Or, at least, she thinks she might try out Chat Noir. She doesn't want to get his hopes up if she tries as Ladybug, but maybe she could try as Marinette? Ever since their balcony talk years ago before Glaciator tried to freeze her, her and Chat have spent more time than she would care to admit talking and hanging out on her balcony (and sometimes in her room to play video games if the weather was bad).
And, so, she tries to wiggle her way into Chat's heart. And, little by little, she succeeds. She starts opening up to him more, letting him see sides of her she previously hadn't shown. Their previous balcony chats had mostly been trivial and about broad topics. More often than not, Marinette would bring up a few pastries and a hot drink and allow for Chat to enjoy a few moments of silence. She figured from the way he let himself close in his self and relax his muscles that he led an incredibly busy life outside of his mask. After the third meeting she had bought a second chair onto her balcony so he wouldn't have to stand and his smile was the first time Marinette felt her heart summersault in her chest.
But that had been before. Now Marinette leaves her trap door unlocked and she no longer jumps when he drops from her ceiling at random times throughout the week. She shows him her sketches and they bond over Jagged Stone. They play video games and he always takes it in stride when she wins every round. On the few rare occasions that she has the house to herself, she teaches him how to bake (which goes just about as well as you'd expect it to but it just makes her grow fonder of him).
They grow close and one night when it's raining out and he's had a long day and he can't really muster up a smile is the night everything changes.
Marinette knows the second that Chat drops into her room that something is wrong. It's a Saturday night around nine and she's focusing on putting together her design portfolio for applications. When she hears the familiar thud on her ceiling she stops her work and turns in her chair as Chat lands softly on her bed and then lingers there for a moment, his body curled and tense.
"Chat?" Marinette questions, standing up and making her way over to the lofted bed.
"I'm fine," Chat answers, hopping down from the loft and landing a few inches in front of her. Marinette's breath hitches at the sudden proximity. "Just a long day. And I could really use a hug and some croissants."
So Marinette laughs and goes downstairs to gather some treats and hot chocolate and grab a few towels on her way back to her room since Chat was damp from the rain outside. He wordlessly accepts the towels and pats himself down, then grabs the drink and pastries before making his way over to her chaise. "Join me?" he asks her as he pats the spot next to him.
Marinette nods and plops herself down next to him, cupping both her hands around her hot chocolate. "Want to talk about it?"
Chat shakes his head and offers a sad smile. "I wish I could. Just- family issues. Nothing new for me.
"I'm sorry," Marinette replies as they both finish off their hot drinks. Chat starts devouring the croissants and Marinette smiles slightly to herself. Despite his downtrodden demeanor he was still a glutton (and whenever she mentioned that fact to him he would adamantly refuse to acknowledge the term and then he would grumble about camembert. Marinette figured it something to do with his kwami. Later she would find out she was right).
"Not your fault, Princess," Chat answer her as he stuck the last croissant down his throat. "Although you still owe me that hug."
He cuddles himself onto her lap like an actual cat and even lets out a few soft purrs as she plays with his hair.
"What would you say," Chat says after a while of silence, "if I asked if it was okay to kiss you?"
Marinette feels her heart begin to beat rapidly inside of her chest and she freezes the hand that had been mindlessly playing with Chat's hair. She looks down at him as his blank face stares back at her.
"I would say," Marinette begins and then pauses. "I would say it's been a long time coming."
And then his lips are on hers and her heart is going to explode because Chat is an amazing kisser and he's making her feel things she's never felt before.
"I think I'm falling in love with you," Chat tells her later that night as they're standing on her balcony. The rain had cleared up and it was a peaceful night out. The clouds had all but vanished, leaving a clear view of the sky. They had retreated up there after quite a few make out sessions for a bit of fresh air and to process the line they had crossed that night.
Marinette doesn't answer, mostly out of shock, but Chat doesn't take offence. He simply takes her hands and kisses her forehead, telling her that he wanted her to know, before he kisses her goodnight and is racing across Paris' rooftops towards what she assumes is his home.
Returning to her room, Marinette begins to panic. Because she loves him and he loves her and she now realizes how dumb her plan is. Because you can't love half a person. And no matter how much she thinks she loves Chat, there's a whole other side of him that she doesn't know anything about. He has a family and friends and he goes to school and interests and dreams and hobbies and passions and she barely knows anything about all of that. She doesn't know what he does in his free time (not counting the hours he spends running around Paris like the alleycat he is) and it begins to weigh on her that she wants to know. Because you can't love half a person. And she wants to know what it's like to love someone.
She breaks it to Tikki almost immediately after her revelation, how she plans to finally open up and let Chat into her life. Tikki doesn't object; she tells Marinette that it's ultimately her decision and that she's mature enough now to be making choices like this for herself. She just hopes things work out between them.
So, she calls Chat the next day and tells him to meet her at the Eiffel Tower. She beats him by five minutes and spends those few minutes thinking about their first battle against Stoneheart. This was where Chat had fallen in love with her. But it's not where she had fallen in love with him.
When he arrives he's his usual, punny self but Ladybug can tell that he's confused.
"I have something I need to tell you," Ladybug tells him. "I want you to know who I am."
Chat takes a step back in surprise and then his grinning. "You do? Are you sure?"
Ladybug smiles. "Yes. But first I'm going to need you to catch me." And then she's taking off and she knows Chats close behind her. She refuses to turn around and check though as she navigates herself skillfully throughout Paris towards her home. She lands on her balcony and seconds later, Chat lands beside her, his eyes furrowed as her takes in their location.
"You fell in love with me at the Eiffel Tower," she tells him as a way of answering his unspoken question. "And you always followed me, no questions and no doubts." She takes a moment to compose herself for her following confession. "And this is where I fell in love with you."
She lets her transformation drop and then it's no longer Ladybug but Marinette that's standing in front of Chat and then he's picking her up and spinning her. In a flash of green his transformation is gone and he sets her down so he can show himself to her.
"I-Adrien?" she shrieks in response and the boy in questions fidgets slightly in front of her and gives her a soft smile.
"In the flesh, M'lady."
She almost laughs. Because all this time, she hadn't been loving half a person. She'd been loving the whole damn thing and she didn't even realize it.
"Well, you already know how I feel about Ladybug and Marinette," Adrien says sheepishly as he rubs the back of his head, a nervous tick she's noticed over the years. "I-is this okay? Me being who I am?"
This is when Marinette starts to laugh. She can't help it. "We're stupid. Oh gosh, we are so incredibly dumb" she says in between giggles. "This is more than okay," Marinette says as she straightens up to face a confused Adrien. "Adrien, I've loved you since the day you gave me that umbrella. But I also fell in love with Chat over the years and trust me, it drove me crazy thinking I had no idea what love even was and then I came up with this plan and it-"
She's suddenly cut off because Adrien's mouth is now on hers and she loses herself in the kiss for a moment until he pulls away and gives her one of the most dazzling smiles she's ever seen grace his face.
"You love me?" Adrien questions her. "Both sides?"
Marinette chuckles and nods her head. "Yes, chaton. Both sides."
And then his lips are on hers again. You can't love half a person but Marinette counts herself lucky that she gets to love the whole thing.
hello all! the next ten themes are light, dark, seeking solace, break away, heaven, innocence, drive, breathe again, and memory. I think I'm going to attempt to do these in order but feel free to send pairing requests/ideas. much love :)