Chapter 1 - Without You, Alone Again
"...what a pain. A couple of people have kicked the bucket".
At least the last thing he can help is bury them. That's what Yun think when he find a couple laying on the ground, but when he checks their condition and find their sign of life, he doesn't think twice to help them. Battling with time, Yun manages to take care of the poison, patching all of wound that man's body sustaining first, his wound far too worse than the woman after all. After the woman's awake, he know that she is the princess of Kouka Kingdom, princess Yona as Ik-Su tells them without he aware. Yun doesn't too pond of the King and his family, he even hate them so he doesn't pay his attention to red-haired princess that much at first, besides he still have a patient that must worried about.
Like he says to her after she asking him to save Hak, Yun isn't a doctor and he can't guarantee if Hak will survive or not.
Tonight will be important.
He keep an eye to Hak and grinding the concoction. After she give thanks to him for saving her and her bodyguard, he doesn't expect Yona to thank him just because he explaining about the reason of the priest driven out of the Hiryuu Castle by Yu Hon. After covering Yona with the blanket, Yun leans his back on the wall, closing his eyes after check upon Yona and Hak's condition.
But that night, Yun surprised by Ik-Su who wakes him up while crying after late. He doesn't have time to asking him prodding question about what happens as he realizes the red-haired princess and her companion no longer at their last place. Yun curses raven-haired man for leaving the bed with that body?! He heard someone hysterically weeping, a woman's sound from cliff side where they can see the waterfall, not far from their house. Without a words, Yun knows what had happened just from the scene before him. But maybe there's a chance, that's why Yun wants to try but when Yun wants to check upon his condition, Ik-Su placing his palm on his shoulder, shakes his head as tears sliding down his cheeks. They're only can standing there, looking at the red-haired princess crying, she hugs the lifeless raven-haired bodyguard who lost his life on her arms and what she can do only crying. While her hands cradling his head on her chest, her eyes looking hollow as if her soul isn't here anymore, her screaming heard so agonizing and tearing to whoever heard her.
Yona opens her eyes, she jolts from her bed because looking at empty bed where Hak supposed to lying. She runs forward, turning her head around, looking for him till she finds him on the cliff side, not far from Ik-Su's house, where they can see the beauty of star at the night and sound of waterfall mixed with cool breeze of Springs wind. When Yona stands behind him, Hak doesn't turn his head as if he knows she's here and he just speaks.
"beautiful night, right? It's too good for someone who will die, though".
"what do you mean, Hak? It's not funny at all, you know?".
He doesn't answer her question, instead he's asking her to come near him. When she crouches herself before him, he pulls her into his embrace. Before she can understand what happens, he collapses and Yona catches him. She feels his body way too cold than before as she touches his forehead. She wants to call Yun for checking upon him but Hak grabs her wrist, holding her attention back.
Hak smirks "if I were to die, how much would you cry? I really want to see that... at least, I can see your face for the last time".
Yona shakes her head, she nearly burst out into tears "no... What are you thinking? Going with injuries like this... Stop joking around like that or I'll smack you!?".
"I'm not joking, so just listen to me...", Hak caresses her cheek "Princess, keep alive... even if you're alone, even if you feels about to die, you must stay alive... Because as long as you're alive, I believe that you still can found your happiness... Even if i no longer can stay by your side like before... You must stay alive without me...".
Yona realizes one thing from the lights goes out of Hak's eye, she can't bear it if it's true "no, what are you speaking about, Hak? NO?! You can't leave me?!".
Hak feels his eyelids so heavy, he's so damn sleepy but he still have one last thing to tell so he persisted. He leans forward, brushing her lips, kisses her with chaste kiss. It would be their first kiss and sadly, their last kiss.
"...I'm so sorry, but for the last time, I only wants you to know... I love you... even if you only love him all along this time, I only love you...", smile cracks on his face as he sees her flush and shock on her widened eyes. He gives his warm smile, knowing this will be his last time "Don't think of my feeling as a burden for you, I only want you to know... I hope nothing from you, you needn't return anything... Don't feeling guilty or owe anything of me... find your own happiness, princess Yona... If you can be happy, then to me... that's the greatest happiness and I'm satisfied with that... Don't cry... You're better smile than crying... You can just forget me...".
Before he let his last words out, he takes a deep breath and as a single tears out of his eyes, he smiled sadly "...forgive me... for leaving you alone...".
Yona's heartbeat feels to stop immediately when she looks he closing his eyes slowly as she catches his dropped hand.
"...Hak? You're kidding, right? Hey", she is patting his cheek and shakes his head on her arms, but no reaction. Yona shakes her head, her whole body trembling "no... It can't be... tell me this is a lie... Open your eyes, Hak?! You can't leave me so easily like this?! Wake up?! HAK?!".
Even if she knows his heart not beating again, his breath no longer can be found, his body become colder and still, she doesn't want to believe this, she can't bear it if she must lost him too after she must lost her father. Not again, especially after she knows he loves her.
"you stupid, Hak... If you survive, you can stay with me... If you give me time, maybe this time we can be together... but why... Why you never told me? Why you didn't say that sooner?".
True. The reason why he never talk to her about this, she know very well. Even if she know, she won't return his love because she chases other man. She chases other man, yet she's so blind to not realize his feeling towards her all along this time. All along this time. Actually, since when? But no matter how she want to talk to him, no matter how she want to asking him so many question, no matter how she misses him and she want to feels his warmth again, no matter how badly she wants him to survive, he's gone... He's no longer here, he's no longer can she finds wherever in this world.
Same as the time when her father left her behind, she become alone again.
Yun is only able to looking from far distance when Ik-Su approaches Yona, asking her to let him go already.
"no, Hak isn't die yet?! open your eyes, Hak?! remember I've told you before, I won't forgive you if you die?! if you die, I'll forget you?! do you really want that happen?!".
"princess, I know this must be hard for you but let him go… or he won't be able to go peacefully".
Yun is only able to looking from behind them, when Ik-Su cries, holding her like she is his daughter who just lost her love.
Rather than burying Hak's body somewhere (wherever it ten feet underground), Ik-Su decides to sinking his body into the lake under the waterfall near their house. When Yun is asking him about this, Ik-Su tells him it's because that place the 'Gates' between the Earth, the Heaven above the Sky and the Underground World under the Earth. With sinking the corpse on the lake, when his soul going back to the Heaven above the Sky, his spirit might have absorbed by the Underground World under the Earth while his body will become one with the Earth, laying on the ground and blending with the water.
Several days after that become vague for Yona, one more time she become the lifeless doll, just like after her father's death. What makes different only one thing, if before she was a lifeless doll who didn't eat and only walk when Hak held her hand, this time she's busying her hand with whatever she can do to help Yun and Ik-Su when she lives with them. That night, Ik-Su had asked her to stay with them at their house for a while, as long as it needed till she recovers. Yun doesn't mind or more exactly he have no choice than let her stay here for a while. Her condition is pitiable.
Even if she's helping them, her eyes have no sign of life. Dead eyes like a corpse. She only eat when he's forcing her to eat. Every night, despite she never talks about this, Yun knows if she have a nightmare. Maybe because she can't sleep, after that she decides to go out of house, walking around to wandering the woods aimlessly. When she's tired of walking, she would stop at the cliff side. She sits there and staring down to the lake where they had sunk his corpse and just back after the dawn with red eye and swollen cheek, the proof that she's cried silently when she's left alone.
This night is different. Yun is following her behind. It's been a week after Hak's death, yet no sign improvement of Yona's grievous condition. Just now, he sees she waking up from her sleep with beads of sweat drenching her body, before she makes a sprint for the door, running aimlessly to the woods.
Panting, Yona stops at the riverbank. She lifts her head up to see the stars on the night, crying "Hak stupid?! what I told you before... If you die, I won't forgive you, ever... So come back here?! Don't leave me all alone?!".
"how pathetic", Yun leans his head on the tree as he thinks when he sees she drops to her knees, kneeling on the ground and sobbing.
"what should I do... without you by my side?", Yona cries, clutching her chest before she leans over to looking at the river. She's blinking twice before wipes her tears as she stares her shadow on the river "probably... If I die here... I wonder if I would meet with you again?".
Yun's heartbeat increasing. Yona keeps walking till she stops at the riverbank where Yun knows that part of the river is the deepest which leads to waterfall. Before Yona tries to jump, Yun wraps his hand to her waist and holding her back till both of them falls backwards "stop?!".
"geez, whether you can swim or not, you will instantly die if you drops yourself from here?! Do you really want to die!?".
Yona turns her head and crawling to get closer to the river again "you can just ignore me".
Yun grabs her wrist "sorry, but I can't do that".
"why? You said you hate the King and his family, so it's clear as you said", Yona turns her head, expression questioningly "you hate my father and you hate me, right!?".
"yes, I hate the King and his family?! I hate the royalty and noble because I thought them as sly and filthy people who ignorant about the commoner!? I thought they have no attention to the poor as long as their prosperity increasing and it can't be help since I was born and grown at one of poor village on Fire Tribe territory!?".
Yona bows her head and shouting in frustration "so why are you stop me? You're supposed to let me die?! I have nothing left in this world and I have no reason to stay alive?!".
Yun drops one knee before the crying girl in front of him, sighing heavily as he grabs both her shoulder. He stares into deep sadness showing on the violet orbs, furrowing his eyebrows "because i can't let you die after he die... If you die because you throws away your life, it means his sacrifice would become useless, right? He has sacrificed his life in order to save your life, what you should do to pay his sacrifice is stay alive and didn't throw away your life like this, even if life is sucks as hell and cruel".
"Yun is right, princess", Ik-Su approaches them, kneeling beside Yun before he takes both her hand on his "princess, listen well... if you die, maybe you can meet him again, but is it really what he want? Even if you didn't have a reason to stay alive now, you surely will find one if you stay alive".
"Princess, keep alive... even if you're alone, even if you feels about to die, you must stay alive...You must stay alive without me...".
Yona's eyes widens, she remembers of his word at his last moment. It only makes her crying more hard. After she hugs Ik-Su and Yun, crying hysterically, she collapses and fall asleep. That night, Ik-Su and Yun aren't let go of her hand while sleeping on their sleep over.
A/N Yoan :
Please don't hate me, it doesn't mean I hate Hak. I love him but on other way, besides Chara-Death always make the deep impression for me as they left the world so I make him die here. Any protest, critism and Review welcome