Chapter 2 - Without You, One More Light
More or less a half months after Hak's death, when Yona has calmed down, Yona and Yun are speaking with Ik-Su. Ik-Su tells Yona about what she should do after this. After he suggests Yona to looking for The Four Dragon Warrior, he is asking Yun to come with Yona on her journey. Actually, Yun doesn't mind if he should accompany Yona remembering her state, but he's worried about Ik-Su too. The air-headed priest we're speaking about here really clumsy, of course Yun is worrying about him when he leaves with Yona. Ik-Su convinces him that he will be alright even if he isn't with Yun anymore. He says it so carefree that makes him pissed, but Yun knows if he really means it so Yun won't worry about him.
"Yun, you really needn't leave Ik-Su if you don't want and be forced to...".
"huh? What kind of ridiculous attempts? Why makes you think that I don't want leave him and I'll accompany you because I'm forced to?".
"that's ... I think I shouldn't break a family apart just because you must accompany an outsider like me", Yona lowers her head before looking at him "even if I'm outsider, both of you really kind to me... and even if Ik-Su said he's okay, I don't want take you with me if you didn't want...".
"princess, you may haven't seen it yet, but his word is absolute for me. Because he is the priest, he won't say or ask something meaningless... So, if he's asked me to come with you on your journey, it means I must come with you because it's my fate", Yun sits in front of her before pointing out several things with his finger "besides, can you even take care of yourself? How do you sleep? How do you eat? How do you patch your wound if you're injured? Can you even hunting food or working to get money? Who can comfort you if you're crying alone? What makes you sure that you won't try to hurt yourself like yesterday?".
Yun gets the point.
Yona can't deny the fact that she needs a companion on her journey, she can't even disputes one of Yun's question "...you're so mean".
"good, now let me come with you. Tonight, let's prepare our stuff so we can departs tomorrow morning".
After Yun makes a point, Yona helps him to prepare but her eyes catches on Hak's Tsu Quan Dao. They must leaves Hak's stuff because it's useless for them since they can't use it, she knows it. But at least, she wants something as Hak's part that she can bring with her as memento of Hak. As if can reading her minds, Yun is looking something between Hak's belonging.
"princess, I found this on his belonging", Yun shows a pendant with pretty blue stone, wrapping by a paper with a note inside its "looks like he means to give this to you as your 16th birthday gift".
Yona takes the pendant and reading the note "this stone known as Lapis Lazuli stone, a charm which can give protection, even bring happiness and lucky to the wielder if you prays it. I hope it can give protection to you and bring happiness and lucky to you, but looks like you needn't birthday gift from me this year".
Yona cries again, holding the Lapis Lazuli stone pendant with both her hand after she realizes that the blue stone is the same color with Hak's eyes "what I need... isn't your protection... You're so stupid...".
Yun sighs, what can he do only let her crying on his shoulder while patting her back "geez, what I said? who will comfort you when you're crying like this when you're not find The Dragons yet?".
Next morning, they leaves.
"are you sure, you'll okay after I left you alone?".
"don't worry, Yun. Before meet with you, I usually spends my time on my journey all alone , right? I'll be fine, just take care of princess".
"fine, just don't die or doing something stupid when I'm not here, alright?".
After Ik-Su hugs Yun and Yona, they waves their hand while parting.
Before they leaves, Yona is looking back to the lake and smiling sadly "wait for me, will you, Hak? we will meet again at the afterlife…".
"princess?! what are you waiting for? let's go?!".
On their journey to Hakuryuu village, since they left Ik-Su's home, Yona has practiced to using a bow. She thinks about how she can training with a sword and she has asked Yun if he can use a sword, but unfortunately he can't, luckily he still can tell her about the basic of using a bow. Actually, Hak is the best choice but he isn't here anymore.
Every time she thinks she will crying again, she quickly smacks both her cheek before tears before she crying again (before Yun realize it, actually). Too bad, Yun has seen it, but he is only pretending to not see anything. Yun thinks Yona shouldn't try to hiding it or hold her tears back because he understands her condition and he has seen her crying mess before so it won't make a different now.
That night before they arrives at Hakuryuu village, before they're going to sleep, Yun invites her to sit beside him "let's talk before we sleeps".
Yona sits beside him, confused because it's not like the night before where Yun invites her to talk before sleep "talk about what?".
Yun lifts his forefinger, pointing the Sky at night above them "Ik-Su told me once, star on the sky at the night just like people's soul on the Earth, the difference is they're the people's soul at the Heavens".
"you means the stars at the night Sky is people's soul who had left this world and stay at the Heavens?".
"just thinking if the night Sky as this world and that star spreading on the night Sky as people's soul, it reminds me about how small we are as human, right? when Ik-Su told me, I wonder if one of them above is my parent's soul? I don't even remember about my parents at all… they had died somewhere because of ill or hunger, or they had abandoned me, I don't even know because the first thing I can remember as a children is that I had left alone and how hungry I was at that poor village", Yun lifts his palms as if want to reach the Sky before looking at Yona from the corner of his eyes, he is furrowing his eyebrow when he sees Yona's gloomy expression "don't make that face, I didn't really think about it anymore since I lived with Ik-Su, he is really a figure of a father for me. If anyone asking me about my parents, only Ik-Su which I think on my mind as a figure of a parents. You're still lucky, you know… you can spending your time with your father and just looking at you, I know your father must be really love you".
"if the light of stars on the Sky at the night is people's soul… let's think that mean, its light will disappear on the Sky at the night when people's die. Isn't it mean that one more light go out when someone die?", Yona lifts one her hand above like Yun do just now, her expression become colder and saddened "who cares if one more light goes out in the Sky of a million stars? well, I do care…".
Yun knows if Yona's expression become like that, it means she is thinking about Hak "…it's because he's important to you, right?".
"right… he is always a important person for me, he is always a figure of a brother for me, but after he left me… I don't even know if it's true…", Yona covers her face with both her hand before hiding her face on her knees "I don't even understand about how I felt about him anymore, I don't even know about my own feeling… do I ever really care about him? I'm so ignorant. Why… even if he is always by my side, I never care about his feeling and I never realize about how important he has become for me?".
"just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't there. He is really important for you and no one can doubt about it, that's why you're crying and feeling so sad after his death, right?", Yun pats her back and let her leans on his shoulder "I don't mean to make you cry again. What I want to tell you, it's alright to cry and have a moment of weakness".
"no, I've promised to him to stay alive and be strong", Yona lifts her head, there's fire lit up on her eyes for the first time "I won't cry anymore, otherwise it means nothing for me to lift weapon".
Yun doesn't expect to see the fire lit up on her eyes, he thinks she will cry again. It's the first time for him to see such a fire on her eyes.
No, it's wrong.
He has seen the same fire lit up on her eyes before.
When she cradles Hak's head on her chest, he hears her whispering on him 'I won't forgive him, ever'.
For a second, Yun thinks he sees a sorrowful rage and hatred on her eyes, but because she's cried hysterically after Ik-Su had tried to asking her to let him go, he doesn't so sure anymore.
Yun snaps off his mind, turning his head to her "huh? what?".
"please… don't say anything would bring up Hak on our topic conversation and don't say anything about Hak in front of the Four Dragons. Let's not talk about Hak, at least for a while. I'm still must set up my minds and I'm still want to understand about my own feeling, and I don't want to listen about him from others for a while, it's just…", Yona turns her head to Yun, smiling "it's not that I wanted to forget everything about him but it's just… it's still too hurt for me, just remembering about him or listen about him from the others… can you do that for me, I please?".
"If I'm looking at her face that like wanted to cry, how can I reject her request?", Yun sighs, scratching his head "yes, of course… but if you've gathered the Four Dragons, I thinks sooner or later you must explained about him… how long you will hid about him?".
"at least till I'm ready… If I can talking about him again without a feeling like wanted to cry in front of other people, it means I'm ready…", Yona smiling before rises from her seat "let's sleep, we must be arrived at Hakuryuu village tomorrow, right?".
"yes", Yun rises, furrowing his eyebrow "such a good fake smile… fake smile which you shown to others for hide your pain and to make others won't worry about you… it's really a beautiful smile, but at the same time, it's really hurt, you know?".
A/N Yoan :
If any of you realizes it, yes, I'm writing this when listening of 'One More Light' from Linkin Park. Maybe I'm making Yun become more strict rather than in manga but let me know if you think he's really become OOC or not, and if you like it or not.