1AN: This story will allude to several things including bullying, depression, etc. I leave this as an encouragement to love one another. This is in honor of Random Acts of Kindness week and in honor for those lost in recent school shootings. This had been on my mind and my heart.
-ET
I don't get it. I've hung out with these people before. Why did she walk away? She said she had stuff to do and then I watch as she sits at another table with another friend. Was it me? My breath? Is my mere presence that much of an annoyance? I didn't even say anything! I'm included in the group if I show up. Sometimes not. And I'm never initially invited. Do I ever take up any part of their minds when I'm not around? Do they only include me in things when I'm there so I don't feel left out? Well, I do feel that way. Every inside joke, every reference made, every quote goes over my head. I was never a part of this to begin with. I may as well not be here. So, what do I do? Where do I go? I'm lost.
Hiccup set down his pen as he continued to dwell on the thought of being alone. He was surrounded by people almost everyday of the week. His classmates will tell good jokes and he'll laugh when appropriate. He'll do his part on Wednesday night worship sessions at his church by just clicking through the PowerPoint. He'll go to work and talk to customers about what they need fixed in their cars. He answers to 'hey you' when freshmen want to know where the next class is. He'll do the work and put his name on the top of every group assignment. He'll do his part and not one person will say his name. Not one person will grab for his attention; not even to borrow a pencil. His name is listed on every attendance record for all his classes and that's the one time he'll get to hear his name; when the teacher has memorized the seating chart and still can't remember the name of that one kid whose seat is always stolen. Though he has earned the titles of 'hey you,' or 'dweeb,' or even 'hey cripple,' yet the bullies and strangers can't seem to read the name on his school I.D. badge or the name badge on his work shirt. He's a nobody; a no one.
He's called 'son' at home. At least he's identified as something. His name may mean he's small or even a mistake but at least it's a name. A name he hopes to give new meaning. But how am I supposed to do that if no one uses it?
The lunch bell rang letting people know they had five minutes to get to their next class. Hiccup took about that much time to gather his nerves along with his school supplies. So what if he was late? He was done. He didn't care. Not if no one else did.
He hefted his backpack and was prepared to be the last person to leave the cafeteria when he caught sight of the television hanging on a side wall. The news station was on and forgotten about during the loud buzz of student lunches. The volume was up and could be heard once all the students had left. The news anchor was delivering the devastating news of yet another school shooting. Florida. Hiccup stopped and stared as footage rolled on the screen of the shooting. He couldn't tare his eyes away. Tragedy. There was no other word to describe the event.
The news changed to a new story about the upcoming baseball season and Hiccup turned around to look at the empty seats of the cafeteria. Everyday every seat was full. Hiccup felt alone in his head yet everyday someone sat by him. He tried to imagine seventeen empty seats during lunch. Would the normal noise level decrease? Would they be missed? Would their empty chairs be used as foot stools? What would happen? He looked down at his seat. Would I, the loser, be missed? If I was the most popular jock and I… left, what would happen to this chair? If I am who I am now, and I was lost somehow, what would happen to this chair? He continued to stand there going unnoticed by passing faculty. He should get to class.
o0o
Math was a bore and English was frustrating. Then came history. History was usually also quite boring but Hiccup took interest when the teacher turned on the projector and illuminated a picture of Columbine High School. Words were said about death, death, and more death. The history of horrifying circumstance.
Circumstance. Events are caused by surrounding circumstance.
Hiccup looked around the classroom as the lesson instructor droned on. Students half listened while they either played on their phones or stared at the top of their desks with deep intensity. Hoods were up, eyes were downcast. Who are these people? Hiccup didn't know the name of half the people in there. His graduating class had over seven hundred people. What's that guy's name in the back with the black hoodie? No longer did he wonder if his own name was known. He didn't know the name of the kid in the back, or of the kid off to the side, or the one next to him.
Must be lonely to not have a name.
o0o
Hiccup stood off to the side by student pick-up watching and waiting for his father to show up. He heard a scuffle behind him and turned to see a teacher breaking up another fight. He was about to turn back around when his eyes caught the sight of a red poster stuck to the back of the glass entry door. Random Acts of Kindness.
Didn't he hear something about sharing love at church the other day? Didn't he remember thinking he was unloved this morning?
He took another look at the students standing around waiting for rides. His eyes stopped on a boy who was involved in the scuffle. He looked angry. He looked… unloved.
"Hiccup!" He turned to see his father leaning out the car window. He does say my name. Hiccup hurried to get into the passenger seat. "How's your leg?" What a random question.
o0o
Hiccup sat in the school cafeteria eating breakfast before his first class started. The buzz of talking students was low this early in the morning. His mind wondered back to the red poster and the lack of names in his memory.
In came the boy from yesterday's scuffle and in came an idea. Hiccup waited for the boy to be seated in a far away corner before he grabbed his tray and walked toward the quiet boy. "Mind if I sit here?" he asked. The boy looked up and raked his eyes across the figure in front of him before gazing out across the cafeteria noting all the empty available tables that morning. "Uh," started the boy. "I guess?"
Hiccup set his tray down across from his classmate and sat down in the available seat. "H-How's it going?"
The boy looked up from his phone again to stare at Hiccup. "It's, you know, going," he replied. The awkward tension slowly subsided as more words were spoken.
"What's your name?" asked Hiccup. He looked at the boy and saw him sit a little straighter. He looked… kind. Not so lonely as before too.
"Uh, my name is Tyler but you can call me Toothless if you want." Toothless? The boy saw the confusion in Hiccup's face and gave a small chuckle. "If you tell me your name, maybe I'll tell you why I go by Toothless."
Their conversation continued to roll smoothly throughout the morning. As they went their separate ways for their first period class Toothless shook his head in confusion. He turned to watch his new friend walk down the hall and smiled. How random, he thought.
AN: Random Acts of Kindness week is basically over but this is still important guys. I want to encourage y'all to stand up and be kind. I know that sometimes its easy to think that you can't make a difference, but you can.
1 Corinthians 1:26-28
26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,
It doesn't matter who you are. You are in a position where you can show love to someone. Please do.
-ET