"So… Why aren't you two kissing yet?"
Hiccup choked in response to the question that Tuffnut had so light-heartedly delivered. He glanced sideways at Astrid, wondering if he would see any sign of surprise on her face, and saw her dumbfounded expression – yet he still was more than sure than he himself looked way sillier than she did.
"Wh-why would we be kissing?" he asked in a hushed voice, shifting his gaze back on the younger Thorston.
Tuff gave him a surprised glare.
"Well, this is a wedding, right? Isn't that what people do here?"
"Yes, but -" the young leader couldn't believe his ears. "it's not our wedding, is it?"
"Only that people usually don't kiss on other people's weddings, Tuff," Astrid chimed in quietly, suppressing a grin that was springing to her lips, determined to keep her eyes on the couple in front of them. "Especially when one of them is the best man, and they happen to be standing right next to the newly-weds, so practically in the centre of everybody's attention."
"Yeah, as if you guys ever had a problem with that." Tuffnut snorted disapprovingly. "You two have made out in front of us more times than I could count. Although I think there may be a few people who enjoy watching you do it. Not me, obviously. Just other people."
Hiccup's cheeks had gone red before his friend had even managed to reach the middle of his little speech.
Good gods, what had he done to deserve this?
"Tuff, we don't -" he stuttered, all while trying to remain quiet and discreet. "I mean, we have never… Ugh, never mind. Look, why don't you just focus on Mala and Dagur, and wait for them to kiss, huh? Also, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to be here, so if you could just -"
"Okay, okay. Easy, H. I just asked. That's what I do when I don't know things – unless I decide to quickly make something out – I mean, up – and just convince people that it's true. Although it doesn't work that often. So -"
"Tuff!" Hiccup hissed. "Just go. Please."
His interlocutor shrugged, and marched off towards his own seat, staring at everything except the couple he should have been most interested in. Hiccup sighed with relief, shifting his focus to the two people Tuff had so blissfully ignored, simultaneously trying to forget every single word the latter had just said.
Unfortunately for him, his own betrothed was far too amused to let go of it so easily.
"Those guys don't know their limits, do they?" she pondered, casting him a short glare.
"But how did he even come up with it? I mean, what kind of savages would we have to be to do such a thing?"
"I don't know, Astrid, I really don't… but something tells me he's not the only one thinking we'd be capable of it. Thor knows why."
Astrid bit her lip, and nudged him teasingly. In respond, Hiccup rolled his eyes, and grabbed her hand, hoping it would stop her from disrupting the ceremony in any other way. He knew that he was the only one to really notice her behaviour, as everyone else was too preoccupied with the actual nuptials, but for Thor's sake – he was Dagur's best man. And he really wanted to live up to the expectations.
He felt Astrid's fingers intertwine with his, and smiled.
One day it would be them standing in public like this, repeating the vows they had already said in so many different ways. Astrid would take Mala's place, he would take Dagur's. He wasn't sure when exactly would that be – neither of them was – but he was certainly looking forward to it.
And he knew she was, too.
"What do you think they'd say if we really did it?" He heard her muse a moment later. "You know, if we listened to Tuff, go full throttle, Berserker style. How do you think they'd react?"
"Astrid, we're not doing this."
"Hey, I was just wondering. Besides, I know you wouldn't mind."
Hiccup rolled his eyes again.
"If you mean kissing you in general, then you know perfectly well that I never mind it. Still, I'd rather avoid doing it here. Finding a secluded place later on sounds like a much better idea."
"Yeah. I guess it does."
Their little chat was interrupted by the crowd's ovation as Mala and Dagur shared their first kiss as husband and wife, and they eagerly joined the common cheerfulness, clapping their hands, waving at their friends, and sending them the warmest, widest smiles they could muster.
Before anyone could notice, Hiccup turned to his right and pressed a short, gentle kiss on his betrothed lips, making her blink in surprise, pulling away before she'd had a chance to kiss him back.
"One day it will be us," he whispered lovingly in her ear, causing a thrill to go down her spine. "Now come on. Let's go find some secluded place before someone decides it's a good idea to ask me to deliver a speech."
Author's note: Here, have my own little approach to the RTTE one and only wedding scene, that completely denies what happened in the series for real. This story is more than a joke than anything else, but seeing how much the fandom cares about that one particular shot, I thought I just couldn't miss my chance.
I hope to deliver more of those "fix it fics" in the future, and hopefully, they will be longer and more serious than the one you've just read.
Let me know what you think - and see you soon!
God bless you,