I am sitting on the train from Vienna to Salzburg. Normally looking out the window and seeing the exquisite beauty of my homeland washes over me in the form of a calm state.
However, not today. I was what you might say beyond angry. Even her beauty outside the window could not wash away my anger.
I am being forced to return home due to Governess issues AGAIN. i cannot deny that in the back of my mind I am not surprised.
It all started last night during one of Elsa's gay Soirees. I was dancing with Fraus I had never met and drinking. A role I had become quite used to playing. The distraction does help keep the ever pressing grief I feel from coming to the surface.
Anyway, her butler Gregor approached me "Captain Von Trapp I'm so sorry to disturb you but you have an emergency call from Salzburg."
"Thank you Gregor kindly lead the way."
"With pleasure sir."
As I turned around after walking away with Gregor, I could see Elsas face. She was either very angry with me or had eaten some food that disagreed wish her.
As I expected was Frau Schmidt calling to tell me that Fraulien Hilda had left us. She wasn't even there twenty four hours! I don't understand why I cannot find one single woman who is capable of running my house with discipline and Decorum. This is the eleventh Governess I have employed since God took Agathe's beautiful soul to heaven.
Now I wasn't sure if I was supposed to offer to return home immediately. However, the deafening silence on the other end made it clear that was what she expected. She had a way of getting her her point across.
"Well yes I'll be on the first train tomorrow."
" Let me know when your train arrives train at the Hauptbanhof and I'll send the car."
As I suspected Elsa was shall we say less than happy with me. What choice did I have really? One cannot leave the discipline of seven children to his housekeeper. She is firm but she is too busy with her other duties.
I tried to smooth things over by saying that I was not leaving until first thing tomorrow. So we could meet up much later for a "proper goodbye." Let's just say I never got that goodbye. It is too bad because I could have used it with what I will soon have to deal with.
I just don't understand why I can't find one young woman strong enough to maintain discipline. It's not hard to keep children in order you just need to know how.
When I think of discipline, I think of the nuns that used to teach me when I was a child. In fact, they taught me the discipline that I practice today. Those children don't know what real discipline is compared to the nuns that taught me.
I laid my head back to rest at least for the moment. My resting state did not last for long. An idea invaded my brain the minute I was trying NOT to think.
NUNS! That is what I needed. A sctrict preferably old and wise nun. In that case, there would be no problem. All I need to do is write to the mother Abbyess. I feel a weight lifted off my chest. My life will be more organized now. I can come and go to see Elsa as I please. At the name time, the nun will be in charge of the children. I now feel like I can drift off to sleep. A nun will quite possibbly save my life. I shall contact the Abbey the moment I get back.