I was a woman possessed. Since the day, six weeks ago, when Jasper had taken control of my body and shown me what desire meant, I was a wreck.
The need I'd felt with Edward paled beside the scorching desire I'd felt when Jasper had made me dream of impossible things.
Edward seemed none the wiser after his return that day and Alice was unconcerned.
Jasper had been right, they didn't know what had transpired between us.
I wished somewhat half heartedly that I too could be so nonchalant about what had happened, But I found that indifference was impossible for me.
I now pulled away when Edward kissed me, I found it hard to kiss him or be close to him at all and I felt guilty for these feelings which made it all worse.
Jasper hadn't even actually touched me, except for that brief kiss, but it was all I could think about.
I was a woman obsessed.
I couldn't believe that I'd been all but oblivious to Jasper as short time ago, now I watched him whenever I knew I could get away with it.
I noticed everything about him.
The scent of his skin as he walked past me in the hall, the way his chin length dark blond hair was always escaping the rawhide thong he used to hold it in place, how he walked with a slow assurance known only to deadly creatures and I noticed how he watched me.
Had he always watched me like that?
His gaze was filled with knowledge and a strong twist of amusement I was almost sure was directed at me.
How I knew that he was amused, I did not know, for he still has the most immobile face I'd ever seen.
I'd seen him smirk, that day -the day it had all changed – but nothing since then.
When he watched me I felt it like a physical touch, if I didn't know better, I'd think that I was still under his spell, somehow connected to him.
I was physically innocent and yet I knew things about how men and women went about making love, after all, I'd spent most of my life reading. For the first time in my life, I day dreamed about things I'd previously never dwelled on.
I'd lie awake at night desperate to stop the ache between my thighs, my skin felt on fire, my breasts tingled...I wanted...needed...something...I needed him.
I'd seen Jasper come back from a hunt just last night while I'd been visiting Edward.
It had been the first time I'd seen him in such a state. I almost believed that he had done it deliberately to show me, like he somehow craved my approval.
Which was absurd, because why would he want or need my approval? But regardless of the reason behind it, seeing Jasper like that was a sight I'd never forget.
Jasper had been dishevelled, his hair untied and knotted, his face fierce and frankly terrifying. His clothes had been torn, bloody and dirty. His arms tense, hands held into fists as soon as he landed inside the living room where we were sitting. I tried to keep my emotions serene when I was around Jasper, but it didn't often work. I'd stared at him, unable to control my gaze.
He was beautiful, like a dangerous, avenging archangel.
His lithe, muscular body was perfect. I trembled thinking about actually being able to touch all that barely leashed, savage power. Muscles and sinews stood out on this arms and his skin was covered in scars.
I unconsciously pulled away from Edward, who had been holding me and sat as far forward as I could, Jasper watched this with interest, a minuscule smile lifting his lips.
I bristled instantly, hating that he knew the reason for my withdrawal from his brother.
Edward glared at Jasper with annoyance. "Cant you clean up first before dropping in on us?"
Jasper snorted, running a hand through his hair, making the blond strands dark with what looked suspiciously like blood. "Why? So that I can pretend to be what I'm not? I'll leave that to you, brother."
Edward turned away from Jasper, turning his attention back towards the TV show we'd been watching, effectively dismissing his brother as though he were disgusting.
I felt an irrational urge to defend Jasper and I tried in vain to squash it.
But I failed miserably.
"What were you hunting?" I asked innocently, trying to normalise his showing up looking like Freddy Krueger, while slowly bringing my gaze up to meet his.
I instantly regretted it.
Jasper held my gaze prisoner, deliberately I imagined, that amusement firmly back in place as he sat opposite us on the other sofa.
The very sofa I'd been on when we had our secret encounter.
I felt heat rise through my body just as my belly fluttered wantonly.
"Jaguar." He said softly. "It fought hard. It was a good hunt."
I swallowed, trying to imagine him tackling a Jaguar and failed.
"Really?" Edward said in disgust. "Must you?"
Jasper shrugged, "Bella asked me a question, I was merely replying. I don't feel the need to hide what I am from her, as you do. She knows what we are, it's best she sees all of it."
Jasper lifted his booted feet and placed them quite deliberately on the low coffee table which sat between us. He wore military trousers and boots more often than not and today was no exception.
I tried hard to remain aloof, but I felt my lips curve into a smile at Jaspers arrogance.
It amused me, although I wasn't sure why it should.
"Esme will be unimpressed." Edward pointed out unnecessarily, his expression pained.
Jasper shrugged, his gaze still holding mine, unbeknownst to Edward.
"We can always afford a new one."
I'd eventually managed to drop my gaze and found myself staring instead at Jaspers lean, but hard muscled body. Suddenly, unbidden, I saw myself straddling him where he sat and rubbing my aching body along the washboard abs and cradling those lean hips between my thighs. Molten heat erupted inside me and I felt faint as blood rushed through my body.
Jasper of course knew what I was feeling and as I lifted my gaze to find his, dark and deadly and all knowing, I saw a hint of a snarl on his lips. He made no sound to alert Edward to our silent exchange, but his barely bared teeth told me all I needed to know. He was definitely not as unaffected as I'd believed. The sexual thoughts had been his, I realised, planted in my mind by him.
My heartbeat continued to sprint, my mouth dry as I stared at the only man I now wanted.
Edward mistook my elevated heartbeat for disgust and took me by the hand, pulling me up and away from his brothers vulgar display.
Trying to save me, again, I sighed.
I didn't want to leave at all, but I followed reluctantly. I could hardly make a scene, after all what would I tell Edward?
"See you later, Bella." Jasper said as we left the room, his deep voice lingering on every syllable of my name.
I felt his voice resonate inside me, my name honey sweet on his tongue. I closed my eyes briefly as I followed Edward, savouring the surge of desire which trickled through my body at the sound of my name on Jasper's lips.
My sex pulsed suddenly in response and I rubbed my thighs together in mute frustration while I walked.
The rest of the night had passed uneventfully.
Jasper had kept his distance and I had regained control of my almost non existent self control. I tried in vain to focus on Edward, trying to recapture the feelings I'd had for him just a few short weeks before, but it was impossible.
All I seemed to want was his darkly dangerous, dream walking, emotion manipulating brother.
I'd gone home frustrated and angry.
Jasper had no right to do this to me.
If he'd never shown me how good it could be between us, I'd be happily running after Edward...I'd be satisfied with my life.
Even in thought form, that particular lie tasted bitter on my tongue.
I'd been unhappy before Jasper had entered the picture.
The very next night I was lying on my bed, the lights turned off except for the string of fairy lights along the wall behind my bed, when I heard a terrifying thud.
I sat bolt upright, my heart beating faster than ever. Edward was always silent when he came to visit me and he was off hunting the other side of the country.
Whomever had made that noise didn't care about stealth.
Thank God Charlie was at the police station pulling an all nighter.
But that did mean that I was all alone.
Fear trickled along my veins and I slowly forced myself to get out of bed, the chill of the night air touched my warm skin causing goose bumps to erupt across my entire body.
Clad only in a tiny pair of shorts and a camisole top, I was hardly dressed to go and find an intruder.
Suddenly and without warning I felt an inexplicable excitement surge through me, causing my nipples to harden instantly and my heartbeat to double its rhythm.
Only one person had ever had that particular effect on me.
I stopped where I was and stood uncertainly in the centre of the room revelling in the inner sensations, which intensified with each shuddering breath I took.
A soft rush of air cooled my now heated skin and I whirled around to find the source.
My heart stopped beating altogether at the sight that greeted me.
Jasper was standing inside my room, insolently leaning against my wall beside the bed. His lean body appeared relaxed, this legs were even crossed at the ankle, but I was not fooled. His eyes were dark and dangerous, hungry.
He was hungry, aroused or both.
I licked my dry lips and took a deep breath. "Jasper." It was all I could say. My voice was unusually husky and I licked at my dry lips trying to hide how nervous I was that he was here.
Jasper never came to visit me.
He had avoided me after our encounter, so, seeing him here now terrified and excited me.
I swallowed hard.
For six weeks, all I had dreamt about was standing in my bedroom and I didn't know what to do.
"Shall we play a little game, Bella?" he asked, not greeting me and staying right where he was.
Without thought I started to walk towards him but stopped instantly as he raised his hand, telling me to stop.
"Game?" I asked, my voice actually trembling with the pleasure surging through me at his very presence.
He eyed me with lazy arrogance, his gaze trailing over every inch of me, starting at my head and ending on my bare feet.
"Yes, a game. Our last one ended too abruptly and I find myself filled with even more curiosity than before."
I flushed at the stark reminder that our last encounter hadn't been some fabrication of my lust filled mind.
It had been very real.
"What could you possibly want with me?" I asked a faint touch of asperity leaking into my tone. "I'm sure you have other ... amusements."
I recalled a night soon after our little secret had happened, I'd overhead Jasper and Alice having more than a conversation and I also recalled all too well just how it had twisted my insides with an emotion I'd never experienced before that night – jealousy.
Jasper watched me closely, his stillness telling me that he was reading the emotional feedback he was getting from me. A lazy smirk tugged at his firm, yet sensuous lips. I stared, bemused by his savage beauty.
But then, his amusement fuelled the latent anger I'd been feeling. He found my feelings amusing!
"True." He admitted boldly. "But I find myself thinking of you far more than I should. I thought that another game might be in order. This time, with a pleasurable ending which might satisfy us both and make us more able to forget this interlude ever happened."
I stared at him in shock, my body at once excited and filled with an eager desire to pick up where we had left off.
I wanted to deny that I was curious, but he would know I was lying.
Jasper eyed me with a heavy intensity which made my mouth dry.
"Do you want to forget?" I asked, unable to stop myself.
Jasper pushed himself away from the wall slowly and then he was before me in a flash of super human speed.
"I've tried, believe me, but it would seem impossible for me to do. I want you..."
His voice ended in an inhuman snarl and I jumped, my heart racing wildly at his admission.
"The scene you witnessed between Alice and I was me trying to forget you, Bella. But, I couldn't do it, if you'd stayed longer you would know that nothing happened between Alice and I that night nor any other since..." his pause was heavy... "Since...us."
His hands, large and powerful beyond my wildest imagination, lifted to my face, hesitating just above my skin.
I swayed towards him, my point of gravity shifting.
"I told you that unsatisfied curiosity was a dangerous thing...did I not, Bella?"
I nodded, my voice lost in the storm inside me.
Touch me! My thoughts screamed and then he did and we were both lost.