Author's Note:

Despite the endless work, I am pushing back and getting a little of my free time. I am averaging at least one day off a week and that's a huge help. I want to get my momentum back like I had initially. It brings me so much happiness. ^^

If you are just joining Guardian Blue for the first time,you will want to check out Season 1 and 2 first, and I would highly recommend Thanks for the Fox even before that as well so everything makes sense. ^^ Duke of Absolution will likely also be needed. This story is getting big.

Zootopia is owned by Disney. I suppose you already knew that, but sometimes I just like to make sure. :D

Also! Another HUGE shout-out to J. N. Squire for assisting with editing for Season 3. Also, I would like to extend a special thank you to a few others who are helping me to keep updating and keep the quality high even with my busy schedule, and my friend Alex who helps me greatly with beta-reading and constant support!

Guardian Blue: Season Three

Episode 23: Cheetah

"The fact that neither of you were seriously injured is almost uncanny," the skunk psychologist expressed, glasses lowered as she marked something on her clipboard. Judy rubbed her chin with some concern. Always with the marking of things on her clipboard! The bunny sucked in a slow breath. She was always worried that one day the very same clipboard would be sitting on the chief's desk and it would be time to talk about early retirement or something. Yes, sometimes it seemed reckless, but the pair knew what they were doing.

Nick was the one who replied. "In our defense, we were unaware that she was tranq-proof before we confronted the suspect." Judy nodded to her mate. Yes. That. It wasn't a reckless risk, the danger increased outside the planned arrest. That happened sometimes. It wasn't outside the normal purview of police work. Completely rational and not crazy fox and bunny like it seemed.

"Yes, I saw the report. Some kind of glue in her fur? I'd love to have gotten to speak with Cherry before her surgery. Whatever was going on in her head would, I believe, have been of great interest. Still, I am glad she will be doing better going forward. It's not my place to speak with her at this point but the reports about the encounter are still… fascinating," Carlisle mused. "That said, you could have fallen back when she was diffused in the lobby."

"It took every officer there to get her down," Judy informed. "Even the chief! We could have taken a step back, but ultimately that suspect was our responsibility." More stuff got written down on the clipboard.

"Are we… in trouble or something?" Nick asked.

"Why do you feel that you may be in trouble?" the skunk inquired. Judy experienced a wave of frustration. Everything Carlisle said was intended to produce some kind of response that could have been used to evaluate the pair, especially in something so important as a use of force situation.

The fox replied to that. "Do you feel like we should be worried about whether you feel that we might be in trouble?" The doe knew in an instant what Nick was doing. Surely Carlisle would see right through that. She wouldn't bait the fox further.

"Is it... possible that you feel I have some reason to make you consider that I feel like you would want to tell me if you were in some kind of trouble?" Judy covered her face. No. This wasn't happening.

"That depends..." Nick replied dryly, Judy sinking her face into her paws harder. It was happening. "I suppose that would ultimately come back to whether you felt that someone implying that we reasonably expected that you surmised that we were concerned that our doctor might be examining the possibility that we suffered some guilt about a thing that transpired that you believed might be a situation wherein we could reasonable assume we could be in trouble… Then I can without hesitation say… Maybe." He nodded with a smile.

Judy stared at her mate with her jaw slightly slack, then snapped her attention back to Carlisle who, eyes wide, slowly wrote something on the clip board without really looking away from Nick. Noooooo.

"Are we… in trouble?" Judy asked point blank.

"No." Carlisle responded in a monosyllabic manner.

"Then why take notes on a thing we gave our full report on, in great detail?" the bunny pressed.

Their department-provided counselor responded, putting her clipboard down against her knee. "Your report gives every detail about the situation, the suspect, the officers involved, the timeline of events, the background of the case, and the final status of the suspect at the time of the writing of the report. You both write very good reports."

"Thank you," Nick said with a curt nod.

"What your report doesn't say is how you both feel about everything that happened," Carlisle elaborated.

"We aren't allowed to write how we feel," Judy explained. Surely the skunk knew that. Their reports were not allowed to reflect anything but the facts of the incident and possibly their reasoning, be it logic or emotion, that resulted in certain choices being made. They could write that they were concerned for their safety, but they couldn't write something like feeling that the suspect hated foxes or was probably a repeat offender, or might have run away if they didn't point a tranq pistol at them. These were opinion entries and didn't belong in a report.

"Do you feel?" inquired Carlisle.

"Of course we do, but we can't put it in the report," Nick backed up his bunny.

"Where do you put that?" their mephitine counselor pressed.

"In here, I guess?" Judy offered, putting a paw over her heart.

The skunk wrote something else down quickly, nodding. "And there it stays, with everything else, until you find yourself not sleeping and not sure why you're snapping at your mate, or not calling your parents… and you'd certainly not be the only one it's ever happened to."

"If digesting the stress of our day were a problem, we would probably not be very good cops," Judy explained.

"And we have one another to confide in," Nick clarified. The bunny nodded at that. It was a good point.

"Indeed, and that's certainly why you both do a phenomenal job at it, but the department provides me, not with the idea that you can't handle the stress of your work, but because it's unreasonable to assume any mammal can. Not forever. Strength isn't a measure of how much damage you can take. We don't want our officers to go out there every day and take a beating and feel like that's simply what they are there for." Judy glanced away a moment, considering that. That was… a fair thing to say. She wouldn't let Nick just … not talk about his problems. Never. "Your reports are not a forum for your opinions, your feelings, and your concerns. That is my purpose. My function. You don't have to tell me everything. You don't have to tell me anything, really, but ultimately all I can do is promise you that you CAN."

"Judy thinks I'm a terrible driver," Nick betrayed.

"What?!" cried Judy.

"Is he?" pushed Carlisle.

"Nick, I just like driving the cruiser!" the bunny re-informed him.

"It makes me feel like you don't like me driving," the fox informed.

"You drive fine, I just like driving and the cruiser only has one driver's seat!" She found herself genuinely distressed.

"Would you be willing to let Nick drive more often?" Carlisle addressed.

"I don't not let him drive! Nick, just tell me!" Judy then recoiled. Oh. He made Carlisle's point. He could have just said nothing and it would never have been a problem ever. But if he never said anything, it would always be this thing he thought was a problem and, to keep his mate, others, society… anyone happy, he'd just… be unhappy. Yes, it was a small issue, but as more and more pile up the issue stops being small.

"That is very fair, Nick, what would you like, Judy?" the counselor asked, putting the bunny on the spot. Crap, Nick proved his point, she didn't want to go on a relationship-troubles tangent!

"Maybe he could let me cook more often," the bunny expressed, then winced. No, this was not even work related, it was personal. They didn't need to get into all this with their work counselor. She was there to help them deal with real problems.

The fox leaned forward, appearing distressed at that. "You get angry when you cook. I hate seeing you so... frustrated." The doe gaped. Nick was just full of opinions now. She needed to get out of this line of 'help', surely. The bunny responded plaintively,

"I get frustrated because nothing seems to go right in the kitchen!"

"Does Nick help you in the kitchen?" The skunk's tone was ever so slightly accusatory. No! That was even worse! Nick wasn't like that at all!

"I know better," the fox informed before the bunny could interject. Judy wilted. It was true that he learned it was better to give the bunny her space when she was getting frustrated, but how he stated it made it sound like he was afraid of her response!

"Nick! I never said you couldn't help!" she tried to salvage.

"Except all the times where you said 'Nick stop helping, go watch birds or something'." he informed. Judy whimpered. It was true, she did say that, but it wasn't because she didn't want him there or something. Judy had to get this whole thing back on the rails!

"Nick, she's gonna think we're having relationship problems!" the bunny fairly cried.

"How do you feel about your marriage, Mr. Wilde?" came the measured question to Nick. Judy felt like a doomed holiday cruise, guilty iceberg off in the distance.

"How would you feel if everything you ever wanted in you life just kicked your door down and said it was yours and you just had to live with it?" Nick asked. Judy shrunk back slightly. That seemed both violent and… good? What a weird way to express it.

"I suppose that… would be good but..." Carlisle looked down, obviously trying to think.

"But alarming. Absolutely terrifying. That's how it is, Miss Carlisle." Judy stared at her mate. She couldn't decide if that was completely flattering, but she couldn't deny, with everything that had happened it was ultimately pretty accurate.

"Well, we covered a couple negatives, things you two are working through together as a couple," the skunk stated with her clipboard at the ready. "How about you tell me about your favorite memory with Judy?"

And suddenly Carlisle was Judy's friend again. She was sure that would be so self-serving a question but it was okay if the counselor asked it and she very much wanted to know!

"The trip we took together early in our relationship, to Bunnyburrow." explained the fox. Judy felt a tug at her heartstrings. Those were all very special memories.

"Why Bunnyburrow?" Carlisle inquired, furrowing her brow as she tried to figure it out. "Oh wait, Judy is from there, yes, I recall. How did that go?" inquired the skunk.

"I munched half her family," Nick dropped casually.

"What." came a blank response from the skunk. Judy gave a glance to her mate wearing his smuggest expression. Oh, she was so freaking in.

"He did. So many of my siblings, gotten by a fox."

"I… I don't..." Carlisle leaned back, clipboard down.

"They were nice," Nick insisted. "Some of them were harder to get down than others, but it's honestly all about how seasoned they are."

"Really guys?" dropped the skunk, looking grumpy.

"It was for a good cause," Judy informed.

"Should I even bother writing any of this down?" asked the counselor.

Judy decided to call it at that point. "We made like... thirty-five hundred dollars for the family that we rescued from the fire there in a single Munch match. It's still being talked about in town."

"Oh!" cried the skunk, immediately pushing pen to paper. "Oh, you're… It's serious! You, wait… hold on… slow down, what?"

And just like that the rest of their session was all about some of the happiest memories that she had with her fox. Carlisle wrote so much down, but it comforted Judy that it really wasn't all bad things to judge her. Carlisle was listening to them and making sure important thing were kept. Yes, she was also researching their unusual pairing, but this was a good thing for her to write down. They talked about the stumble they had where Judy misunderstood Nick's intentions there, and how they used communication and forgiveness to get through it. They talked about the complexity of dealing with their feelings for one another that were still growing back then. All of this was a treasure-trove to the skunk and she appeared very genuinely grateful to get a window on just how such a strange thing as what Nick and Judy had actually happened.

Finally, they were reminded, amid a good emotional moment, that all relationships had misunderstandings, struggles, and compromise, and sometimes it was uncomfortable, but having these things didn't fail the relationship. The skunk assured then that 'perfect' relationships were absolutely always the result of lies on one side or delusion on the other. Good relationships existed when neither of those things were needed. This encouraged Judy and the pair left their monthly session with the skunk feeling happy and revitalized.

They went to the computer at the front of the bullpen to get signed in for duty. Judy smoothed her ears back, feeling better. That, she considered, was the value of a counselor. You didn't have to be broken to get something valuable from it.

"Ready to make Zootopia a better place?" Nick asked his partner, holding up his paw. Judy fist-bumped. That always melted her and he knew it.

"I'm ready. So… how are we gonna stick it to special K?" She crossed her arms in front of her.

"Slow your roll, Fluff, we aren't on that case, remember?" her partner pointed out.

"When has that ever stopped us from keeping our eyes open, Slick?" she countered. "You heard Tora. She wants any information we can give her about the case. That's basically the same as saying we're on the case!" Judy was excited to dig into this with Nick. It was a big deal!

"Uh, no. That is red wood… with a space in the middle," he replied with authority. "She meant whatever information we already had."

"Oh, so if we were walking along and we just happened to find the secret warehouse of a certain vulpine crime lord, Tora would prefer that we just kept that to ourselves?" Judy chided.

"What makes you think he's a fox?" Nick challenged with his arms crossed in front of him. Judy's nose went immediately on the wiggle.

"That… That's what Kitsune means, right?" she offered. Did she offend him? The doe had been so sure this whole time, but Kitsune was a code name or something. Nick could have a point. It didn't have to actually be a fox.

Nick laughed.

"I'm messin' with you carrots, it's probably a fox." He tweaked her ears sweetly. Judy batted at him mercilessly.

"Stop that! I'm being serious! We can help, we just can't… you know..." Judy considered how ridiculous it was that Nick was the one pushing Judy to follow the rules while she was trying to get around things on sly technicalities.

"Stop doing our regular job and take up our time pursuing a case that wasn't assigned to us?" Nick clarified, looking smug. Judy flopped her ears back, and Nick glanced up from his mate as Clawhauser walked up to them with a doughnut in each paw.

"Hey guys!" he purred in his usual super sweet temperament.

Nick and Judy pointed to one another and exclaimed simultaneously,

"I've corrupted my partner!"

Clawhauser paused about two seconds, eyes wide, then grinned. "Cooooool! Wanna doughnut?" He offered them. They had sprinkles. Nick and Judy just sighed and took their pastries. The cheetah seemed pretty stoked about having interfered in … whatever that was. He looked pretty good, honestly. He was dropping weight and wasn't comically round anymore, though he still appeared pretty 'off-center' for a cheetah. It was obvious he was making progress with Tora's help, however.

"How's the front desk treating you, buddy?" Nick asked, obviously trying to deflect from the disagreed on topic from before.

"The new desk is way nicer with a much better computer setup," the cheetah explained. "I shoulda had the chief body-slam someone through it sooner!"

"I thought you couldn't have doughnuts anymore," Judy pointed out before consuming her final bite of confection.

"Tora said I could but I have to bring a doughnut to everyone else," explained the portly feline.

"So… you burn off the same amount of calories from your treat carrying doughnuts to everyone else?" Nick pointed out. "Clever. She's a devious tigress."

Clawhauser's jaw went slack. "Noooooo..." Judy laughed at that.

"So… Ben..." Nick sucked the glaze of sugar off his dark claw tips. The feline perked up, flitting his tail side to side with enjoyment of his companions. He was so social. "If I were to… verify your adherence to your dietary regimen to the chief, would you be willing to do Judy and I a teensy favor?" Judy glanced at her mate. What could he want from Clawhauser?

"Sure! As long as it's got nothing to do with the records department!" He chuckled at that.

"It has to do with the records department," Nick immediately confessed. Clawhauser groaned and Judy tilted her head. What was he asking about?

"I'd sooner let you tell Tora you saw me eat a chocolate-covered Higgins in the cafeteria," the cat replied.

"This might allow us to help Tora with a case that she's been struggling with for like… more than a decade, big guy," Nick explained. The cheetah immediately seemed conflicted and Judy perked up. Oh. Oh Nick had an idea. Her mate knew something, and he was following up.

They were gonna do the case! She tried not to show emotion about it, though. He didn't want to. He was relenting. She would… absolutely not gloat about this. This was a concession. It's something she needed to appreciate, not expect.

"I… I guess. She's done a lot more for me than you know, guys," Benjamin stated in a gentle and reverent tone. It melted Judy's heart. Was Ben… getting closer to her? Was it a crush? Was it unrequited? She thought about his recent progress and the changes to his routine. Love or friendship, it was more than just a boss instructing a subordinate. And Nick seemed to know exactly the one thing that would entice the cheetah into helping them. His past scored the pair another possible win.

"I need to find out about any major police incidents that occurred in 1991 that were linked to organized criminal investigations at the time." Judy's jaw went a little slack. That was really specific. Why did he ask that? She furrowed her brow. Wait. She remembered something about that. The guys who were about to kill their goat suspect mentioned an incident in 1991! They didn't want another thing to happen like in 1991 or something. Nick latched onto that as a lead in an instant and didn't forget it! She put her paws together. She loved this fox so much.

"That's… a lot of information to go over, Nick. A whole year? Why do you guys need that?" he pleaded.

"It's a follow up to our cheese case before we can fully close it. Judy'll help you," Nick advertised.

"Wait, what?" the bunny deadpanned.

Nick added, "She's absorbing some things from our counseling visit and needs to take an administrative day," He grinned at his partner.

No.

Oh no. He was helping, but there was a cost.

Oh she would remember this foxy mischief!

There might even be a coin for this!

"What'll you be doing today then?" Ben inquired. "The streets aren't safe if you two aren't together!"

"I'll be following up with another witness in the cheese case to get the information I need to finalize the reporting so we can put our first Tora-assigned investigation to bed. Then we can go back to paroling the streets and traumatizing you over the radio. I'll get you some tasty snacks while I'm out to repay you Ben!" He looked so damned proud of himself, but the bunny sighed. He would be searching for more information in a different direction and she knew why. They couldn't waste a lot of time on this or it would absolutely get noticed. Splitting up for the day might be their best chance to get anything useful for Tora. The bunny felt like she knew what loose end he might be addressing.

If he was going to possibly pick up some snacks for Clawhauser while speaking with someone about the case, he was likely going to talk to Mike. The coyote didn't want to volunteer much, but that was before mammals nearly got killed over the case, and before things ended up so much better with Cherry. The fox could certainly bargain for more information after all that had happened. Judy could be wrong, but she was getting pretty good at this whole detective thing!

Nick was absolutely correct in how he viewed it, however. They couldn't work on the case, but they might be able to offer something helpful. This at least satisfied Judy's desire not to be left out.

She could look things up. She could accept that as helping.

The doe went with Clawhauser and he switched with Delgato briefly to assist Judy in records. This was, after his tour downstairs, not an uncommon thing he could be asked to do, even if he didn't like it. It got the lion out of possibly a couple of hours of his special day with the unlawfully parked, so he was certainly willing.

The bunny headed with Clawhauser down to the somewhat dark and unfavorable records department. History was important to casework so it was extensive. Fortunately, a lot of more recent case history was moved over to a digital version. She converted the records from 2004 to 2006 herself when she was stuck at a desk after she recovered Nick from the DEC.

They agreed that it would make the most sense for the cheetah to search for references that were not already digitized and Judy could use the PC, which she felt confident with, to search through things that had already been uploaded.

For a long time, it was pretty quiet work, aside from the occasional interruption where Ben would ask if something was relevant and it clearly was not. He insisted that if he knew exactly what they were looking for he might be able to help faster, but the doe knew she couldn't tell him anything about Kitsune. They were supposed to be trying to find information about the cheese case,and if anyone would get a rumor back to Tora that they were doing otherwise, even if unintentional, it was this cat.

They continued to rummage through paper and digital files for a while. It had to be more than an hour.

The cheetah called out from his box casually. "There was a suspect who died in a car accident when they were in the back of a cruiser; do you think it could be that?" asked the cheetah. "You said they were talking about an incident when you nabbed them, right? Maybe they were worried they were gonna have a uh… accident." Judy glanced at Clawhauser, ears back. Kind of dark. Judy didn't want him digging that deep into it, so she decided to throw him a clue at least.

"They didn't know we were there yet, so I think it had to do more with what they were doing to our suspect. We just want to figure out if its related."

"Wait, this is really the cheese thing? That got way out of control, Judy!" Ben whispered. "Maybe it's better you take the win and walk away from that one!" he said with a playful giggle.

"We just don't want some huge loose thread after dealing with mammals who first kidnapped and then tried to off a witness," the doe explained.

"Tora and Pawlander were looking into that mess,"Clawhauser pointed out. Judy sucked in a nervous breath. The cheetah was smart. He was getting close to linking their investigation with Nick and Judy's in mere minutes of conversation. She decided to push Clawhauser on task again.

"Okay, so, paired with that, what makes you think the car accident might be the big 1991 reference? Did it have to do with anything big that was going on at the time?" she inquired.

"I dunno… It just… It was weird. The officer was fired for it because they said his negligence interfered with a critical investigation back then into organized crime and it paired with kind of what you were asking about."

"It was an accident, though, right? Not negligence?" the doe verified.

"It was determined that is was an accident ultimately, but it was super sketchy, apparently. The guy got out of the car with the suspect in the back to go into a record store to respond to a fire… He apparently forgot to put the car in park, and it rolled back about a block in front of a train crossing. Poof, no more suspect." Judy wiggled her nose. Yeah, that was pretty glaringly negligent. You don't leave a suspect in the car unless you're dealing with a crime.

"Yeah, I would say that was pretty indefensible," Judy stated. "You can't screw up like that and get someone killed and expect to keep your job." Clawhauser sagged and Judy immediately felt like a member of Bellweather's legal team the first time they got to hear the recording from the carrot pen. Oh no. "I'm sorry Clawhauser. That was… not very sensitive. Your situation was very different, I'm sure." She inwardly cringed at her own apology. There wasn't even really a reason for her to know any of that.

"You know about that, huh?" he offered in a very small voice, sitting down on a pile of boxes. Their contents became slightly shorter.

"It's none of my business, Clawhauser, but I don't… I don't feel negatively about you or anything about that. I heard it was an accident." She worried a lot about the sudden unhappy mood with the cheetah. He was making progress. Would this make him retreat from it? "I mean… I get it. I didn't… mean to… with Darmaw..." She was so not a counselor.

"Your suspect tried to kill a pup in front of you, then tried to stomp her and your partner off the catwalk. I've read the whole report. There was never any question about whether the monster deserved the level of force you used against them. I didn't mean to hurt someone like I did, Judy. I messed up. I made a mistake. A big mistake, and someone's friend is just… gone." He sighed heavily.

"Do you… wanna talk about it?" Judy asked in a caring tone, clutching her knees. This was so hard.

"It's public record, so I can always just… send you the file so you get just the facts about it and all," the big cat explained.

"I know, but I'd rather talk to you it, Ben," the doe fairly whispered. "The reports… the records… they all state the facts but it's sometimes better to talk it over with someone who cares how you feel, right?" The bunny sat up a little taller. Carlisle's explanation made a lot more sense in that moment. The bunny continued, "I think about it a lot… What I could have done differently… all that stuff. You can talk to me about it. We're friends." There was another long sigh from the cat and he held his knees too, gazing down at his feet.

"I was partnered with a mountain lion, Officer Concolor. You never met him, he transferred out to Precinct 4 and has since retired after he messed up his leg in a Rain-forest mishap." Judy had no trouble guessing what kind of mishap, but didn't offer her opinion on it. She didn't want to interrupt Clawhauser. "Anyway, we responded to a report of someone having broken into a closed pharmacy. We got there and the door had been pried open with tools." The big cat paused a moment, looking back down.

"It's okay, Clawhauser, I'm here." She wanted to be genuine here. She really did want her friend to feel he could talk about it. His position on the force made it clear how hard it was.

"We… We investigated and had almost cleared the building, but Concolor heard something fall in the back. We had checked the back office door to the pharmacy and it was locked, so we didn't think anyone else had gotten in there. I guess if they got the front door open we should have known they could get that one open too. So we radioed in that the location is clear, and we went and turned off the lights on the cruiser and closed the front door and locked it, but stayed in the pharmacy on either side of the office door to wait for the suspect in case they opened it."

"Clever," Judy replied. "Don't have to damage property kicking it down."

"Yeah, Concolor thought so too. Speed wasn't my only advantage back then." Judy could believe that. "Anyway, it worked, and someone began to open the door. We forced it open so they couldn't just lock themselves in again and I got skunked right in the face. They had a plan too, it turns out. Officer C sprang off to the side over the counter and avoided getting a direct hit, so as the other guy, a raccoon, tried to push past me, he ended up face to face with the other officer. When he jumped his unholstered tranq-gun dropped on the ground and the raccoon grabbed it, turned, and shot me with it, getting me in the leg."

"Oh no! That… that was so dangerous!" exclaimed Judy to make it clear she was absolutely listening to him.

"It was a light dart on an extremity so I didn't go down but my whole leg just kinda went numb, so I could only kind of hop around. Seeing that, Concolor tried to grab him, but the guy had a knife… the one he used to open the door, so he backed off, but he was between the door and the suspect, so the raccoon advanced as the skunk moved to back him up. Even though I could barely see, I grabbed my tranq pistol, loaded it, and fired. The raccoon went down hard and my partner grabbed the skunk, getting him cuffed. We got him to the car and I started trying to get the ick out of my eyes and nose. I could hardly breathe, he let me have it full-force. Didn't hold anything back."

"I've not been hit directly yet, but I was with Nick when he did. It's pretty awful." She nodded to her friend, but already knew the direction this was probably going.

"Anyway, I headed back to the station in the drunk-wagon, since that can just be power-washed out, and I got in the chemical shower to get cleaned up. Then I went home because it was near the end of my shift and running around on a semi-numbed leg isn't a good look for the ZPD. I didn't… I didn't even know what happened until the following morning. No one told me. I just came in to work and they took me to Bogo's office first thing and… and they told me."

Judy waited for a while as he got to that part. It was hard. She knew it was hard. She was glad he was talking about it, but she didn't want to seem pushy either. "It's okay, Ben."

"They told me that he was gone before we were even done calling for backup because … well… there were two things, really… First, he had shoveled so many painkillers into himself while they were ransacking the back office of the pharmacy that he probably would have been hospitalized by the end of the night on that alone. Second, I dropped a borderline medium mammal with a heavy dart," Ben explained. Judy cupped her muzzle. She knew in an instant how that… terrible thing had happened.

"Oh Ben, I'm so sorry. You couldn't see. You got sprayed in the face and… and you had to help your partner but you were nearly blind from the spray," she lamented. Oh it was so much worse than she thought it was. It wasn't just Ben not knowing about a health issue or something. He really messed up. He had every right to feel guilty about it.

"Yeah so… There was..." He shook his head, obviously feeling like crap about it as the bunny remained motionless in her chair in front of the computer. "There was an investigation and I got put on paid leave and all while they got all the statements and everything. You know that there are... sometimes ugly public responses when something like this happens, but for this little guy… there was nothing, and I think that was honestly worse." Judy frowned at that. She remembered how Nick thought he might not even be missed before he became a cop.

"I can imagine. That's really… sad," she offered in understanding. She could understand.

"His name was Jackson Lotori," Clawhauser continued. "He had a criminal history longer than a giraffe is tall, and it was some pretty bad stuff. Taking that into account the public just kind of… accepted that while it was terrible, why stand up for him, you know? I made a mistake but I was defending my partner. There wasn't even a civil trial. It just got recorded as use of force in self defense paired with him having enough drugs in him to knock out half of Happytown," he said with a shrug. "But I didn't feel like that. Maybe he didn't have friends or family or anything, but it didn't mean he wasn't a mammal, you know? Just like me and you. He wasn't doing the right thing, but that doesn't make him a bad thing, and that's how the public saw it, and it was so … wrong."

"Most of them don't really think that hard about it if it didn't really affect them directly," Judy half-whispered back to him.

"I know. And a good officer has to think about it that way, especially if we're larger mammals. We have special inter-species values training so that we really absolutely adhere to the continuum of force," he said, sounding mildly less sad as it was more technical. That was the policy that stated that one should never use more force than was necessary to control the situation. It also spelled out what situations may make permissible the use of deadly force. Those rules were both sacred and sometimes complicated.

"I'm glad you told me about this, Clawhauser. I know it's hard, and maybe it's never gonna feel okay, but know that you continue to help the mammals of Zootopia every day and that whatever you think you have taken, you're still giving all of yourself back." Ben genuinely smiled at that, which yanked on Judy's heart hard. She fought tears because her crying would not help this particular big cat.

"I… Thank you, Sergeant Hop- I mean Wilde!" he chimed. His tone was back to his usual almost comically jovial self. "Gosh… I'm… Well I wasn't hungry but now I'm starving. I guess that talk took a lot out of me!"

The doe smiled at her co-worker warmly. "I'll keep digging here, Ben. Go grab a bite and come back. You'll be sharper if your tummy isn't distracting you."

"Sure thing, boss!" he laughed. "Don't gotta tell me twice!"

"Choose healthy!" Judy attempted to command.

"Oh you're not high enough up the ladder to prevent me from destroying the fish sandwiches waiting for me in the cafeteria!" he informed brightly as he walked out the door. Judy laughed and then, as he moved away, sighed sadly.

Poor Ben. He didn't deserve all of that. It nearly ruined his life. She had a better understanding why some of the long-time officers were so soft on Ben, and why it angered so many of them, two to the point of giving their notice, when he was ordered into records. Fortunately, Judy's interference got him back upstairs and those notices canceled. Ben was always thankful for that.

She looked at the computer and groaned. Whatever Nick was doing had to be way more fun than this! She rested her chin on her paw, scrolling with a mouse way too big for her, and continued to search for any nugget of intel that might benefit the pair's somewhat out-of-line exploration of Tora's case. Even though he decided to technically bend the rules a little for her, she was still getting her fox back for this.