After shutting and locking the door behind him, Oikawa slides down the cool surface, his side dragging along the doorknob as he brings his knees to his chest and lowers his head with a soft moan. Soft chestnut brown strands of hair cover his face, hiding the tears streaming down his cheeks as he wraps his arms around his legs. Today was shitty. His eyes stung, they'd definitely be swollen tomorrow, his stomach hurt, he could tell it was already bruised, he had a migraine, he hadn't eaten enough, his knee was acting up, and the inside of his cheek was throbbing. He hadn't been expecting his day to end like this, a thin line of blood making it's way down his chin from where his teeth had sliced through the skin of his mouth. The red was seeping into the knee of his jeans, but at this moment he couldn't really find it within himself to even pretend to care. He was too used to this. Too accustomed to coming home bloodied and bruised despite telling himself it would end differently each time. He kept finding himself falling into the same pattern. At this point he wasn't sure he would even know what to do in a normal relationship. He knew he was stupid. That he was making bad choices and always falling for the wrong person, but he couldn't do anything about it. He could faintly hear his phone chime so he lifts his head, wiping the salty tears from his cheek and roughly rubbing the back of his hand over his chin, though he only manages to smear the red liquid. He is somehow able to pull his phone from his pocket and unlocks it, opening the new message from Nobuyuki, his current boyfriend. Just another message he was used to receiving. "I'm so sorry, Tooru." "I didn't mean it." "I love you." He didn't need to read it to know, and yet he still did and accepted those words as they were, hoping once again that this would turn out differently from the relationships he was used to. "I know, it's okay. It was my fault." He replies, he had been too pushy. He knew it. So it really was his fault, he was to blame this time, just as he had been so, so many times before. He wanted this to work, he really liked Yuki. The brunet pulls himself up and moves away from the door, walking towards the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head. He needed a shower. He needed to stop thinking about it. He knew that would only make things worse. Pausing in front of the mirror, he checks his reflection, careful not to look at his face. As he predicted, there was already purple smeared over his ribs, tainting a decent portion of his torso. That was going to really be sore for the rest of the week… Sighing, he shucks off the rest of his clothes and turns on the water, keeping the temperature hot, despite the knowledge that it would sting his wounds. The throbbing in his ribs was extreme, but the pain was dull so he knew there weren't any broken or fractured ribs. He could get off with just taking a few acetaminophen tablets before going to sleep. He washes himself quickly but carefully before getting out of the shower, drying off and wrapping the towel around his hips before moving to his bedroom. He was glad to welcome the end of the day and does so by pulling on a clean pair of boxers and his knee brace, though he wasn't technically required to wear it at night. He shoves the charger into his phone and lets it drop onto the mattress beside his head before he rolls onto his uninjured side and curls up, pulling his blanket over himself and squeezing his stinging eyes shut. He was hoping tomorrow would be better. That Coach Irihata didn't work him too hard, though he knew that between the coaches and Iwa-chan that was wishful thinking. There was no way he would catch a break tomorrow, and it probably didn't help that his lips was slightly split too, something he discovered after cleaning off the blood. Sighing, he squeezes one of his spare pillows to his chest. It was late, he needed sleep, but he wasn't tired. A problem he had been having during his third year, he wasn't able to sleep nearly enough. He could tell his grades were suffering because of it, he couldn't focus in class and performed poorly on tests, his playing too. He wasn't able to work as hard, his mind was always hazy, he had even been prescribed sleeping pills, trazodone, but he didn't like the way they made him feel groggy all the time and they didn't mix well with the pain medication he used for his knee, so he hadn't been taking them. It was just another night, laying in his bed in a dark room waiting for sleep to hopefully overtake him while his thoughts were racing, not cooperating with his internal pleas for silence.

Sorry the opening chapter is so short. It's kind of an intro/prologue. I hope you like this so far!