For as long as she could remember, 5-year-old Blind Mag had always wanted a best friend. She wanted somebody who'd always be there for her and know how to make her laugh and cry in all the right ways. She wanted somebody she could always be there for and somebody she could protect and be protected by. She wanted to share her life with somebody other than the voices in her head. The voices were never too much fun. Oh, they cared for her, protected her, and taught her many things, yet they never brought her any joy. They never brought love, light or laughter. They only ever spoke about how hopeless it all was. They spoke about how nobody would want a blind kid for a friend because a blind kid was a lost cause. Mag understood this lesson well, but it was never fun.
"I just want somebody who'll always be at my side and who'll always be ready to listen to me. I want somebody who'll love me more than anybody else. I want somebody that I can love more than anybody else," she whispered as she lay in bed at the orphanage. "Is that too much to hope for?" she asked. Then she sighed. Mag had heard of wishing stars and she wanted to use one, but apparently you needed to be able to see the star so you could wish on it properly. After all, didn't the wish go, "Starlight, star bright, first star I SEE tonight…"? Well, unfortunately, Mag couldn't see. That was the problem. But Mag gave it a try anyway, hoping that maybe her voice would be enough and that the star would hear her.
Well, it seemed that if Mag was blind, the stars were deaf. A decade passed and still no luck. The 15-year-old scrounged the streets of Sanitarium. She might've been blind, but she instinctively knew that the streets were dirty and ugly. They just felt so uneven underfoot and they smelled so foul. Once again, she wished she'd had a best friend. Somebody to take her mind off her misery. She didn't want to be treated like a baby, but she did want would take care of her from time to time. Having to survive on her own wit and luck wasn't fun.
Mag sighed and shook her head. It was not to be, and dreaming about what-might-have-been did nobody any good. She supposed it was just her fate to be a lone wolf and she supposed she as might as well grin and bear it. It wasn't like she knew how to change her fate. Besides, there were other people in the world who had even less than what Mag had. What right did she have to talk about friends when there were some people out there who didn't even have food or shelter? At least Mag had been able to secure herself a small bed at one of Sanitarium's nicer homeless shelters. It still wasn't cozy, but it was safe and it was hers and it was more than what most people had. She supposed the her selfish want of attention and care from a person was something she would just have to set aside.
At last, however, her wish came true. Mag met Marni while roaming the streets one day. Mag had been looking for something to eat. Marni had been looking for something to do. Marni wasn't much richer than Mag, but she did have enough cash to invite Mag home with her. Mag couldn't believe her ears when this complete stranger offered to help her out.
"You want a blind girl to live with you?" she checked as Marni offered her a place to stay.
"No," Marni answered. But before Mag had time to frown, Marni continued. "I want a beautiful young woman with a heart brighter and warmer than the sun to do me the honor of being my roommate!" and Mag just couldn't say no. From then on, Marni was Mag's best friend.
Mag and Marni spent five short years together, but they were the happiest of Mag's life and she felt as though it was her own little slice of Heaven. Marni became everything Mag had ever wanted. Oh, yes, Marni had some flaws, but Mag didn't dare gripe. She was blind after all. That couldn't have been easy to live with no matter how often Marni claimed otherwise. And all things considered, Marni was pretty amazing. After all, how often did someone actively make friends with a homeless, blind girl and then offer her a place to stay? Marni may have been flawed but her virtues far outshined those flaws.
And aside from Mag's small insecurities about being blind, Mag had never been happier. She felt stronger and richer than the greatest king in the world. She finally found somebody who focused solely on her yet wasn't her slave. She finally found somebody who didn't judge her on anything except her actions and was always ready to help her out of a tough spot. She finally found someone that she could love and that she could share her life and passions with. She finally found someone to whom she could give her time and devotion to. Mag was still blind, but one night, she thanked the wishing star for finally granting her wish.
"You've finally answered my request for a best friend. You've gotten me a wonderful woman who, though I cannot see her, is the world's most beautiful person. I want to thank you. You've finally brought joy, love, and contentment to my bitter old life. I have somebody who loves me and somebody that I can love too," and Mag fell asleep with a smile on her face and a warm body at her side.
Alas, this bliss didn't last long. After those five years, things went downhill and by year seven, Marni was dead. Mag couldn't believe it. Her best friend. Her whole world and life. Her everything. It was over. So short and fleeting! Mag swore she cried a month straight as the realization that her sole reason for living was dead. It couldn't be! Wasn't a best friend supposed to be around forever? Not just five measly years. Oh, they were a great five years, but they were so fast! Mag wanted forever. A best friend wasn't just supposed to drop dead. A best friend was supposed to grow old with you and die with you! Was that too much to ask?
Apparently, because Mag never got another best friend. Oh, she did manage to find a few decent people to converse with and spend some leisure with, but not a single person ever even came close to what Marni used to be. The few friends Mag did have were never worthy enough to be considered best friends. But Mag tried to reason with herself that this was because you only got one best friend. That was the point. That was why they were a best friend, because they were one of a kind. To have multiple best friends was to kind of ruin the concept of the word "best". But Mag knew full well she was only saying this to help her cope with the loss of Marni. In truth, she didn't want to admit that she had lost her best friend.
Mag supposed this loss was retribution for being so attached to Marni, though. Marni had consumed so much of Mag that she neglected anything that wasn't Marni. Losing Marni felt like losing herself. It was like life's way of telling her that she had become far too consumed with this other woman. Was it God punishing her idolatry of Marni? This was a theory, but that didn't cause her to love Marni any less or find Marni's death any more just. Instead, she just hung her beautiful head and cried. Even now, 17 years later, Mag was still crying for the only best friend she'd ever had and the only best friend she ever would have.
"Dear Marni, I still miss you more than words can say," Mag whispered one night, looking to the night sky she could finally see. It wasn't as pretty as she thought it would be. Then again, nothing was. Except Marni. It seemed like Marni was the only beautiful thing in the world and now she was dead. Everything else was just a shell of shadows. She couldn't even see the stars tonight, so thick was the smog in the sky.
"I'm doing ok… I think," Mag continued. Though she could not see the stars, she kept looking upward. "I just really wish you were here with me again like you said. I know your death was entirely uncontrollable but as a best friend, you should know that I'm still mad you left," Mag let out a sobbing laugh. "But I suppose, in the end, it doesn't matter. My life wasn't meant to be happy just as yours wasn't meant to be long. I just hope you know I'll always love you. Goodbye and good night, my best friend…" then Mag closed the blinds on her window and turned back to face the gloomy indoors. It was late. She needed to get to bed. She turned out the light and shut her eyes. It was cold without the warmth of her friend's body at her side.
AN: This was just a sad little drabble about Mag's relationship with Marni. It's kind of plotless just because I was writing during a darker time in my life when I felt a little bit like the way Mag did. It was more of a way for me to vent than anything. But it still means a lot to me that you took the time to read it and have gotten this far, so thank you.
Also, for those who care, I never suffered anything even close to what Mag did. I was never homeless, unloved or friendless and I have, thankfully, never lost a friend to death. This was just more of a metaphorical relationship between me and my sense of happiness and purpose and I chose to tell it through Mag, whose life was far worse than mine ever was or probably will be. I don't mean to worry anyone or to compare my suffering to Mag's. I'm doing much better now, anyway, so there is no need to worry.
Also also, I've always liked the headcanon that Mag used to be homeless or family-less even though it's unlikely someone with that setup would've survived, let alone made close friends with a woman who was pretty enough to catch the eye of the king of the world.