Title: Back to You
Author: Miss x Massacre
Universe: Instant Star
Pairing: Tom x Jude
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long. I couldn't seem to get the ending structure of the chapter right, but then I just realized it was too much. This is the shortest chapter since chapter one, but this is what you all have been waiting for. Thanks for the warm fuzzies, guys. I appreciate every reader. xx
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters featured in this fic, with the exception of Nicole and Lucas, the rest belong to CTV and the channel formerly known as the-N. I also, do not own any songs featured in this chapter:
Flying Overseas by Theophilus London feat. Solange Knowles and Dev Hynes
Back at your Door by Maroon 5
Hello by Adele
Back to You, a Sequel
Chapter Five: Flying Overseas/Back at your Door
Two days later…
"You know, I'm still pretty pissed off at you." Tom said as he skulked his way through Heathrow airport, his carry-on bags hanging off his shoulder as they headed for baggage claim.
"I told you I was sorry!" Spied said, jogging to keep up with him. "I never move it from my luggage, Karma must have moved it or something when she left to be a spiteful bitch!"
They'd gotten almost all the way through security at Pearson International when they asked Spied for his passport. He searched fruitlessly for twenty minutes and he couldn't find it. Tom could have left and went onto London without him, as Spied had suggested once, but he brushed that off. He was into the idea of Spied being the wingman; he told him that he was going to wait until they could both fly together so that it would be less of a hassle, but in all honesty – Tom was pretty scared to fly over to London and face Jude by himself. It would take Spied a day, at the very least, to get a new passport and the next flight that wasn't completely booked was in two days. So, they rebooked the flight and stayed in a hotel not too far from the airport.
Once in their London lodging, The Milestone Hotel and Residences, Tom laid down on the King-sized bed and closed his eyes. He was here as Nicole requested. They'd been in touch the past couple of days and he was for sure that this was some sort of elaborate prank, but when she texted him Jude's schedule for the following two days he knew she was for real.
He decided to pop into G-Major the next afternoon. That would give him enough time to settle, think about what he was going to say (even though he'd been thinking on it since he decided to fly over), and possibly find an NA meeting around him. He took a deep breath and walked over to the window that overlooked the city just as Spiederman came busting through the door that lead to the living room of their suite. Tom sat up with a start, his head whipping around to look at him.
"Dude," He said, holding onto the doorknob of the door. "This is a swanky ass hotel."
Tom chuckled, nodding as he eyed the ornate room. "Yes, yes, it is." He stood and walked over to the large window that overlooked Kensington Palace.
"So, what's the plan?" Spied said as he belly-flopped onto Tom's bed, effectively messing the comforter up.
"She's in the studio tomorrow. Nicole sent me her schedule and she's due in about one o'clock in the afternoon. I thought why not there, kind of mutual ground for us both? I can claim I was sent on work if it goes downhill."
"Good idea, Q." Spied nodded, moving to bring his hands to rest underneath his chin. "Have you thought about what you're going to say to her?"
"Somewhat. Nothing seems appropriate, though." He said as he rubbed his chin, rough with the beginning of a beard.
"It will come to you. Maybe just seeing you will be enough for her." He said, being uncharacteristically prophetic. "Your relationship has always been an intense one. One look and it seems like you guys know what's on one another's mind."
Tom nodded, still looking out over London, his mind reeling with possibilities. "Yeah, I hope you're right…"
Jude and Sadie were in peals of laughter as they both strode through the door to Studio 1 of London's G-Major. Hanging from their arms were numerous shopping and garment bags. Keith's head popped up from his laptop, where he was reading a news article from back home, and a smile graced his face as he seen his artist waltzing in.
A happy Jude was one that he rarely seen, but when she was – boy, she could light up a whole room with her infectious smile.
"Have fun shopping?" He asked, leaning his head on his hand.
"Yes!" Jude said, finally dropping her armful of bags to reveal her small, yet protruding stomach. She was now just into her fifteenth week and the baby was as big as a navel orange, or so Sadie told her, who'd been looking up information constantly. In a sense, though she was pregnant once before, this was essentially her first. She found herself, at times, looking forward to having him or her and all the snuggles and lullabies that would consume her. Unlike before when she dreaded the thought of her being a mother, though she now realized that was because she was essentially alone. "We found some really cute things for Baby."
"That's awesome." He said, smiling and turning towards the board to turn a couple knobs. "You ready to get to work?"
"Yes, sir. Did the instrumentals get squared away?"
He nodded his response as he brought down a fader before looking at her. "All we need now are those pipes." He said pointing towards her throat.
"Well, let's get to it." She said, smiling. Sadie dropped her bags beside Jude's and took a seat behind the soundboard as she walked into the studio. Without having to be prompted, she grabbed the stool that was deemed as hers. No longer was she allowed to stand for recording sessions per Sadie's demand…
Tom and Spied were both in awe as they walked through the doors of G-Major's London location. The building was twice the size of the Toronto branch and had modern yet minimal decorum, a stark contrast to the flashiness that Darius designed.
They both walked through the lobby and gave a nod to the brunette receptionist, easily finding the studios that sat on a second-floor platform. Tom took the steps two at a time, his eyes stuck on the glass door that had a large number one painted onto it. He stopped at the landing, taking in the sight of Jude recording in the studio.
Spied stopped right behind him and, unlike Tom, his eyes zeroed in on her stomach. "Oh, sh –" He stopped himself as he noticed Tom in a daze.
Without second thought or glance, Tom went into the adjoining sound booth, her voice immediately engulfing him. "…and free…I forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet. There's such a difference between us and a million miles…"
Her eyes were shut as she belted out the song, her arms rising from her sides as she hit her high notes. "Hello from the other si-ide! I must have called a thousand ti-imes to tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done but when I call you never seem to be home." He shivered involuntary at the rawness in her voice. Behind him Spied quietly shut the door behind him, both going unnoticed by Keith and Sadie at the sound board. "Hello from the outsi-ide! At least I can say that I tried to tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore."
She opened her eyes to look ahead past the microphone, past her reflection in the glass as she remembered the lonely nights in New York. Her phone would be glued to her hand, finger hovering over the call button which would connect her to him. He never knew but she called once, just once. But when he answered, a female's voice could be heard in the background. She immediately hung up and rarely ever gave a second thought to call him again. She'd heard what she needed to hear – he'd moved on.
Tom could see the pain in her eyes and his heart plummeted. He heard she decided to record the material she wrote while away and while he expected it to be a 'Tommy-hate fest', he never expected a ballad like this. They say heartbreak produces powerful songs and well, he created a legend in her. His heart beat in his throat as her voice echoed throughout the studio.
"Hello…how are you? It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry." She shook her head as she brought her hands to cup the headphones tighter to her ears. "I hope that you're well, did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened? It's no secret that the both of us are running out of time…"
Tom then finally drank in her full appearance. Her fuller cheeks and the stomach that stuck out in obvious pregnancy. "So, hello from the other si-ide! I must have called a thousand ti-i-imes to tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done but when I call you never seem to be home!" He stepped fuller into the light of the sound booth, slipping out of Spied's hand that tried to hold him back, and stared at her intently. Is this what Nicole called him about?
"Hello from the outsi-i-ide! At least I can say that I tri-ied to tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but it don't mat –" She stopped abruptly as she caught sight of Tom standing shrouded by the light.
"Sadie…" She said slowly as Keith faded the instrumentals out. "Are hallucinations a symptom of pregnancy?"
Sadie's eyebrows knit and shook her head. "That's a ridiculous quest – " She started before following Jude's line of sight to see Tom and Spied standing behind them. "Oh." She feigned mild surprise.
"No, Jude." She turned and spoke into the mic that fed into Jude's headphones. "He's real."
Jude's eyes bugged wider than they already were. "Uh,"
Tom went for the studio door and walked briskly through it, stopping feet away from her. Keith returned to his seat as Sadie's hand stopped him before he could grab Tom. "Were you going to tell me you're pregnant?" He said, his eyebrows knit.
"I – I've been meaning to tell you." She said with a sigh, lowering her head to look at the ground before back to his gaze. "I just haven't figured out a way to pick up the phone yet." He itched to reach out to touch her, stroke her protruding stomach, but everything felt foreign – like a dream. She cradled her stomach, stroking as he wished to. "Besides, I honestly wasn't sure I'd make it this far."
He nodded silently, the words that were on the tip of his tongue not coming out. "Wanna stay for old times' sake while I finish recording? After we can grab a bite after and talk…" She looked at him hopefully.
Jude smiled and nodded towards the studio were Sadie and Keith were sitting. "There should be an extra seat in there. Keith won't bite." She chuckled as he stuck his tongue out at her through the glass. "He's the only one I've been able to tolerate so far."
"Don't you mean I'm the one that's been able to tolerate you, Miss Harrison?"
She laughed heartily, and Tom smiled at the sound. "Hey now, don't provoke the pregnant lady."
"Uh-huh." He said, nodding his head.
"Go on, Quince. You know you've missed hearing me in the studio." She smiled cheekily at him and he nodded wordlessly before returning to the sound booth, taking a seat beside Spiederman who had pulled two chairs to the board…
His mind was still reeling several hours later as they sat across from one another in the plushy chairs of The Mitre, Holland Park, a quaint restaurant that she and Nicole found several weeks ago. He watched her intently as she scanned the menu with her lip captured between her lips. She was a sight to behold; she had the pregnancy glow that everyone always talked about and the fullness in her cheeks looked good on her. Her appearance was a huge difference from the last time he'd seen her in Toronto, where she'd been too skinny for his liking and the light that had once shined in her dimmed.
Finally, after the waiter came to take their orders, she returned his gaze and the anger he'd felt building as he watched her in the studio, pregnant and all, dissipated.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because, this is a mess I got myself into…I have to handle this."
"But you don't have to alone." He said, leaning forward on the small round table between them. If he thought it would be all love, romance, and lustful stares – he was quite wrong. The air between was thick with unspoken words, unanswered questions. "I should be able to take care of my own child."
"Hmm notiredly shore'fissures." She mumbled into her glass of lemon water.
"Care to repeat that?" He asked, tilting his head to the side with his eyes squinted.
She cleared her throat, straightening herself in the chair and setting the glass on the tabletop. She took a deep breath and repeated. "I'm not entirely sure if it's yours." She said clearly this time, breaking away from his gaze as several emotions washed over his features.
"What do you mean that you don't know if it's mine or not?" He said, leaning forward. "You mean to tell me you might be carrying that asshole Lucas Michaels' child?"
"Well, I mean we were together at that point in time."
"Yeah, but we – " He tried to reel himself back as he grasped for straws, realizing that though he became completely faithful to her when she returned and they'd consummated their relationship – she didn't do the same. He was shocked at her revelation.
"Tommy." She sighed, rubbing the spot in between her eyebrows.
"I can't believe you…" He said, looking past her and out the window behind her head. Shouldn't he have expected this, though? So many reckless decisions were made when she returned to Toronto on both their behalves.
"Really? You can't believe me?" She scoffed at his admission and crossed her arms underneath her breasts. "You really expected me to be faithful just to you? You? The reason I left Toronto? I was cheating on him with you." He shook his head, trying to stop her but she kept going. "I made no kind of promise to you, in fact I'm pretty sure I told you on several accounts that I was done with us."
"Jude," He sighed again. "I still loved you."
"Okay," She said, shaking her head. "At the time I loved Lucas. I fucked up and slept with you when him and I were still together." She pushed herself to sit up straighter in the chair and tucked her legs up underneath her. "When we slept together, it was a mistake – it shouldn't have happened like that. I should not have done that to him, because I'd never want it done to me, again, but as it stands now – I made choices and those choices I made resulted in this." She waved her hand like Vanna White in front of the belly sticking out towards the table. "This is my dilemma. I need to figure out what I'm going to do; if I'm going to keep it or give it up."
"Gi – " He stopped abruptly as the waiter sat Jude's side of creamed spinach in front of her. He started again once the waiter walked away, leaning into the table as he spoke – the words feeling harsh against his lips. "Give it up?"
"Yes, Tommy…adoption." She said as she stabbed her fork into the greens. "How am I going to take care of a child while I'm on tour? While I'm recording my next album? Press releases? Music videos and jet setting?" He sat wringing his hands underneath the table as he looked away, her words penetrated the brave façade he was putting on. "In case you forgot, I'm nowhere near 30 yet and this was so not on my 10-year goal plan as a senior in high school."
He snapped his head to look at her. "I won't allow you to give up my – "
She cut him off, waving her hand. "My child. You don't even know if it's yours or not yet."
He sat back in the chair, licking his lips and looking away again. "Have you – " He looked back at her. "Have you told Lucas yet?"
"No." She said, shaking her head. She stroked her belly softly and looked down at the bump. "The last time we talked he called me, and I quote, "a lying whore". I'm pretty sure if I told him I was pregnant and there was a chance the baby could be his or yours, he'd probably have a lot worse to say."
His teeth clenched, and he pursed his lips, hoping to make it unnoticeable. "Well, if it is my child, then, I can't –" He sighed deeply, running his fingers through his hair. "I can't allow you to do that – adoption, that is. I want to be a father to my child." He refused to be a mirror of his own father, abandoning his child and responsibilities.
"We'll see if I even make it that far." She said, looking down the street as cars whizzed by. "Next week will be the week I miscarried the first."
Tom was quiet, nodding, as he watched her. She didn't meet his gaze, but he seen the sadness wash over her appearance at the mention of her miscarriage. He reached for her hand and held on tighter when she tried to pull it from his grasp. They sat like that for an undeterminable amount of time, his calloused thumb skimming over her knuckles as they both looked off in the distance, memories of their past surrounding them. The waiter came over and set their respective plates in front of them, but neither moved.
"Jude," He whispered, and she looked from the window to his eyes, tears shining in hers. "I know you don't want us to be together and I can respect that. I've been working on myself since you left." He linked his fingers with hers and switched his thumb back and forth, as if he were beginning a game of thumb wars, before trapping her dainty, calloused thumb underneath his larger one. "But let me be here for you, Jude…as a friend, please."
If there was a chance that the child growing in her stomach was his, then he wasn't about to miss a single second of it. She looked down at their joined hands, pulling her thumb out and trapping his. "Okay," She said as she looked up with a small smile and nodded. "friends..."