Monotony is Futile

"This is getting ridiculous!" Face exclaimed as they sped away in B.A.'s van after another encounter with Decker and his gang of merry MPs, "it's getting so we can't even turn around anymore without these goons showing up."

"And what about me?" Murdock fumed, and took off his baseball cap to show the three bullet holes in it, "they shot at me, me!" He groaned and held his cap against his chest, "what am I going to do now? I can't go around wearing this, people will talk!"

"If you don't stop talking, you crazy fool," B.A. warned him from the driver's seat, "I'm gonna put you to sleep for a week!"

Face noted the light snoring coming from the front passenger seat and commented, "He may have company." He leaned over to see that Hannibal had actually fallen asleep during their getaway. "Hannibal!"

"Huh? Wha?" Hannibal opened his eyes and sat up straight.

"What are we going to do now?" Face asked.

Hannibal let out a particularly loud yawn and told his men, "I think a vacation is in order. For the past two months we've been on the dead run globetrotting for new missions and dodging Decker and his cronies at every turn. If we don't get some R&R soon, none of us are going to be any good for another job."

"You know I'm always game for a vacation," Face said, "But where would we go?"

"We ain't flying," B.A. told them.

"Gee, how did I know he was going to say that?" Murdock asked sarcastically, "does that mean Hawaii's out of the question?"

"Afraid so, Captain," Hannibal answered, "this won't be a typical vacation, no tropics, no private islands, and sorry, Face, no girls in grass skirts and bikinis catering to your every whim."

Face grunted.

Hannibal continued, "I think the best kind of vacation we can take right now is one that keeps us in the area but under the radar."

"How're we going to do that?" Face asked.

"Simple," Hannibal explained, "We get Decker chasing a red herring that we're going to leave the country on another mission. He'll follow the trail till it's cold about 5,000 miles away, and we stay in town and just take it easy. No disguises, no covers, no firefights, no high speed chases."

"Oh really?" Face asked, "Does that also mean no bar fights or jumping onto moving trains or opening fire from helicopters? No building or welding anything?"

"Aw gee, then where's the fun in that?" Murdock whined.

"Shut up, fool," B.A. warned him.

"Yes sir," Murdock quietly complied.

"What we need is a vacation with no jet lag, seasickness, rush hour traffic, foreign food, different time zones, water you can't drink, crazed natives, exotic animals, etc.," Hannibal told them, "What we need is a week to recuperate, catch some z's, get out in the fresh air, and just take it easy."

"Sounds like a plan to me, Colonel," Murdock said, "uh, is there going to be TV?"

"The only thing is where do we stay?" Hannibal asked, "Home is too obvious, any hotel could have military spies with an eye out for us."

"How about a 7-11?" Murdock asked, "It's air conditioned, there's plenty to eat and they never close."

"A tempting offer, Murdock," Hannibal said as he took out a half used cigar from his pocket and relit it, "But we're going to have to think of something more permanent."

"Hey, I might have an idea," Face said.

"You have an idea?" Murdock asked, "We're all gonna die."

Face leaned over the front seat and said to the colonel, "Hannibal, hand me the phone, I've got a call to make."

Hannibal picked up the van's phone and passed it to the backseat, "Who're you calling?"

"I might know somebody that'll let us stay at their house," Face explained.

"If that's so, that solves half our problem," Hannibal said, "The other half is how to lure Decker out of the country and off our backs?"

"You got a plan, Hannibal?" B.A. asked.

"I'm working on it," Hannibal said as he blew out a puff of smoke, "And it is going to require flying."


A convoy of MP cars pulled up at the airport just in time for Decker to see Hannibal walking up the plane steps with B.A. slung over his shoulder.

"They're not getting away this time," Decker said as they sped towards the plane.

What Decker didn't know was that the A-Team had arrived in ample time to lay out some traps to stop him and the MPs in their tracks. Several loud pops were heard as the cars skidded every which way, some knocked into each other, a couple flipped on their sides. Decker crawled out through his window and saw that they had driven through a pile of scattered six-inch nails and pieces of rebar. He wasn't sure how they did it, but the A-Team had managed to make it all blend in with the asphalt leading out towards the runway.

The stairs were starting to go up, but not before Decker could see Hannibal standing in the doorway tauntingly waving bye-bye as the plane started to move.

"I'm going to get the A-Team if it's the last thing I do," Decker grumbled. He missed the murmured remarks by some of the young MPs that at this rate, it very well could be.

"What now, Colonel?" Captain Crane asked.

"At least we know where they're going," Decker said, "Peck was overheard when he scammed that plane saying the A-Team was traveling to Bangladesh to meet with some people who helped them a year ago on one of the jobs they pulled."

"Can we get clearance to follow them halfway across the globe, Colonel?" Crane asked.

"I'm clearing us, Crane," Decker told him, "I'm going to let the general know we're going to need one of the best jets in the military, and we're going to track the A-Team down and bring them back for trial. Smith and his men aren't going to slip through our fingers again."


"Have a nice trip!" Murdock waved as they watched the military jet take off.

"I have a feeling when Decker and Crane arrive in Bangladesh, they're going to stick out like a couple of sore thumbs," Face said as they drove back in his 'Vette.

"One thing you can always count on Decker to do is underestimate us," Hannibal added.

"No kidding, he really thinks I'd accidentally tell everybody where we're going so he can follow us?" Face asked.

"He'll never suspect we ditched that plane two miles away," Hannibal said.

"B.A. must be thrilled though," Face said, "for once he didn't have to get on the plane."

"And I'll just bet that big ol' angry mudsucker is just grinning from ear to ear waiting for us to get back," Murdock commented from where he sat behind them.

"It was pretty genius of him to put that dummy B.A. together with potato sacks and a piece of denim," Hannibal said, "A lot lighter to carry than the real thing."

"Now we're on vacation!" Murdock exclaimed.

"Speaking of which, Face," Hannibal said, "Who's this friend of yours lending us their house?"

"Tori Langdon," Face answered without taking his eyes off the road as he drove them back to town.

"Any relation to baby-faced Harry?" Murdock asked.

"I doubt it."

"She's an actress," Hannibal said as he turned to look at Face.

"Yeah, you met her?" Face asked.

"No, but during the last Aquamanaic movie, we had to divide the time on the set between our movie and the one she was making," Hannibal said, "So we had to be out by 5 every day so they could come in and shoot all night."

"A legit actress?" Murdock asked and leaned over the front seat, "So she's not one of those amateurs you work with just to string them along?"

"No, actually she used to make movies when she was younger, then she disappeared from the limelight for a while, she just recently made a comeback," Face explained. "She made enough from her last movie to buy a mansion out in Beverly Hills. It'll be the perfect place for us to stay, plenty of room and nobody around."

"You're dating her?" Hannibal asked.

"Well I wouldn't say dating exactly," Face answered, "We've never really been serious, we get together once in a while and have a little fun, she's just a nice girl who it comes in handy to know, to be honest she's not much of a looker, but there are advantages to being in her confidence."

"If she'll let us stay at her house and not call the cops on us, I don't care if she looks like Baby Jane," Hannibal responded as he took out a new cigar to smoke, "So where's she right now?"

"At her house," Face answered.

"What?" Hannibal about choked on the piece he bit off. "Where's she going?"

Face looked at Hannibal and answered a bit hesitantly, "She's not going anywhere, she's going to be at the house all week, she said it'd be fine for us to stay since it's got guest rooms."

"What does she know about us?" Hannibal asked.

"Oh give me a little credit, Hannibal, I'm not an idiot," Face said, "I just told her that me and three of my friends are taking some time off and need a place to crash where we won't be bothered. She doesn't know anything about our work."

"And what's she going to be doing while we're there R-and-R-ing?" Murdock asked.

"Nothing," Face said, "She's also hiding out from the public right now, so as long as we don't tell anybody where she is, she won't tell anybody where we are. Her press agent told everybody she's away at a retreat in Switzerland for 2 months."

"What for?" Hannibal asked.

"Oh you know how Hollywood is, she needs to lose some weight for her next movie role and she doesn't want anybody seeing her until she's done transforming."

Behind them, Murdock made a series of machine and robotic sounds.

"Not that kind of transforming, Murdock."

"Well this should be interesting," Hannibal said cynically.