50Author Note: Hello, everyone! So, uh, well... this is awkward. Last time I mentioned that I was dealing with some severe depression. Since then, I've been working on my mental health. I've worked with a therapist and gotten some much-needed help. Since I'm unburdened myself with some trauma, I've felt a lot lighter. I'm still depressed, and I think I probably always will be... but it's getting easier to manage.
I've got a full-time job now and was recently promoted. I have a beautiful fiancee that supports and encourages me. With everything starting to get better, I will try and return to writing in my free time. I've always found writing incredibly enjoyable, but I was tired of all my stories always having a dark tint. I needed to reevaluate a lot of things.
Anyways, sorry for the long wait, and please enjoy the chapter.
Note: This chapter was written and published on 10/29/2022
Disclosure: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. I do own my original characters, however.
Death's Watching
Chapter Nine
The True Uchiha Way
The television flashed to life for the first time in what felt like years but was just seconds. Naruto and Kami sat a bit closer to one another after the last world played. The comfort helped relax Kami's fellow blond.
Naruto watched helplessly as his sensei, Kakashi, was captured in a water prison. He glanced around his surroundings before forming a plan. Well, let's hope they agree with me, Naruto thought idly.
"Oh, I remember this! I turned into a fūma shuriken, and Sasuke threw me. It was badass!" Naruto said, already feeling better at being reminded of his first significant victory.
"It was impressive," Kami acknowledged getting a smile from Naruto.
"Sasuke, Sakura, quickly lend me your ear. I have a plan," the blond called out before hearing a wet, tearing sound from behind him. He turned to see his teammates holding out their ripped ears, still dripping blood. He gave them a deadpan expression.
Naruto and Kami both stared at the screen with deadpan expressions. "Did they really just rip their ears off?" Naruto asked, already knowing the answer with the evidence right in front of him.
"Yup…"
"Thought so…"
"Fucking metal…" he heard his soon-to-be-murderer, Zabuza, whisper.
Kami snorted at that comment.
"I didn't mean literally! Put your ear back on!" he shouted out.
"Oh," Sakura and Sasuke muttered before pressing the ear back against their head. Naruto heard a clicking sound before noticing their ears were perfectly reattached.
"That's not how that works! That's not how any of this works!" Naruto bellowed as his teammates just snapped their ears back on like a toy.
"Huh, didn't realize your teammates were all Mr. Potato Heads," Kami mumbled absently.
"What's a Mr. Potato head?" Naruto asked, bewildered.
"A toy from another world. Don't worry about it."
"Alright, now here's the plan. Sasuke, you charge in and distract him the best way you can think of. Sakura, you stay back and protect the old man. I'll sneak around and flank him from behind," he ordered, getting a quick nod from both.
"You know I heard the entire plan, right?" Zabuza asked before shrugging his shoulders, "Lucky for you, I have short-term memory issues and already forgot it."
Naruto chuckled and said, "You know, it's kind of nice to see someone else getting picked on for once."
Naruto dashed off to the side, and Sasuke took that as a sign to start his distraction. The sky turned off, throwing everything into darkness before a beacon of light landed on the Uchiha. He is dressed in a nice dark blue suit with a red and black striped tie. The Uchiha emblem is embroidered into it neatly.
Strangely enough, Zabuza, Sakura, Tazuna, and even Kakashi, still trapped in a water bubble, found themselves sitting amongst an audience of faceless people.
"Wait, what? What's going on?" Naruto asked in confusion.
"I'm not quite sure, but I have to admit. Sasuke dresses up well," Kami hummed.
Naruto tilted his head side-to-side before grimacing slightly. "I guess he does, but I'd definitely look better. I bet I'd look awesome in an orange suit!"
Kami pictured it in her head before remembering another world she had recently watched with her fellow blond. A world with both boys being closer than usual. She imagined them both in school uniforms and started blushing slightly. "I'm gonna find that world," she mumbled and started giggling, reminding Naruto of Kakashi or Jiraiya.
Naruto stared at her worriedly before scooting a few inches away. He didn't know what she had just imagined, but he was sure it would be bad for his mental health. He knew that laugh far too well.
"Hey there, folks! I have something special planned for you all on this beautiful misty day! But first, what is the deal with carriage food?" he asked the crowd, who all chuckled and clapped. "I mean, come on! If I wanted to eat cabbage, I'd hang my kunai and become a rabbit!"
"I don't get it," Naruto said after a moment.
"It's making fun of a silly joke from a different world."
"Ah."
"Speaking of rabbits, funny story, a true story even," Sasuke raised his hands dramatically. "Anyways, I'm walking down a dirt path with my team when a snow-white rabbit jumps out of a bush. I could have sworn I heard it say, 'what's up, Doc?'" he stated with a chuckle, getting a good laugh from everyone else.
Kami chuckled a bit at that before turning toward her confused blond. "Remind me to show you the Looney Toons later," she said before turning back toward the screen.
"Yeah, yeah… he didn't even offer me a carrot! The rudest little rabbit ever. I can understand why my knuckleheaded blond teammate through a knife at it!" He laughed, getting a gasp from some of the audience. "Don't worry, no rabbits were hurt in the making of this story!" he explained, getting some relieved sighs from the audience.
"This rabbit is a distraction as a giant cleaver flies through the air. No joke, straight up glides right on past our heads. Almost caused my sensei to lose a few inches. That would have been tragic, honestly. With how much porn Kakashi reads, he needs every inch he can get!" Sasuke stated in mocking pity, shaking his head. The whole crowd burst out laughing, while Kakashi looked a bit embarrassed.
Naruto clutched his sides and roared with laughter. He almost rolled off the couch while trying to catch his breath. "He," he started, choking between laughs, "does need all the help he can get!"
Kami nodded her head, enjoying a good laugh at Kakashi's expense.
"Anyways, this large man appears on the sword. No, really, not near the blade but literally standing on it. I'm over here expecting him to declare that we killed his father and be prepared to die!" he chuckled.
"Inigo Montoya would be proud," Kami said with a smirk.
"Another reference?"
"Remind me to also have you watch the Princess Bride."
Zabuza whispered to his captured victim, "Hey, he's talking about me," he said excitedly.
"The man introduced himself as Zabuza. Look, the man could have easily been from Kumo with him trying to cosplay as Cloud. We all know that large blade compensates for something," Sasuke wiggles his eyebrows, "Ah, sorry, shouldn't wiggle my eyebrows at a man who doesn't have any. I can hear the angry barking from up here!"
"Seriously, this man gets into an epic fight with my sensei. Throwing punches, sword strikes, and, strangely enough, a collectors edition plushie of Princess Koyuki at one another.
"…did Kakashi just throw a plushie at Zabuza?"
"I appreciate that Zabuza caught it and threw it back."
"Can we have a normal world after this?"
"We'll see…"
But, things started to heat up, or maybe cool down, when my teacher got trapped in a water prison," the crowd gasped in shock.
"I know, I know! But, come on, man, drink the prison away! It's just water!" he chuckled before shaking his head. "I know things seem bleak, but I promise this story has a happy ending. My blond comrade managed to sneak up behind the man and strike him in the head with a large rock," he stated, staring off into the audience.
"Huh, that's not how that happened…."
"Wait… that's not what happened," Zabuza muttered before a large rock slammed into his skull, knocking him out cold.
"You see, that's why I never play Janken with Naruto. The last time I played, he almost took a finger with some scissors!" He chuckled with some nostalgia.
"How vicious of you…." Kami said in mock nervousness.
Naruto gapped at the tiny goddess.
"That's the end of the show, folks! Thanks for coming out, and goodnight!" he yelled out, getting exciting cheers and clapping from everyone in the audience before the light turned off.
The world returned to normal with Sasuke dressed in his usual clothing and everyone back to their original positions.
"Nice work, Sasuke. That was a great distraction," Naruto said with a smile, holding up his drenched sensei. Sakura smiled and nodded, and Kakashi gave a tired nod.
Sasuke smirked, gave a thumbs up, and said, "It's what an Uchiha would do."
Naruto stared at the screen for a moment before shaking his head and falling backward into the couch. "That's not at all the Uchiha way! From everything I've seen of them, it's 'Oh no, I have been wronged… time to destroy everyone and everything!'"
"While I'll agree with what you're saying, I think that was all just an elaborate genjutsu," Kami pointed out. "So, if you think about it, that was actually the Uchiha way."
Naruto raised a finger, put it down, and presented it again before putting it down for good.
Kami smiled at the victory before swapping to the next world.
Author Note: Hope you all enjoyed that. Have a wonderful day.