They were a warm and sleepy tangle of limbs on the couch. Full after a massive dinner, and wrapped up in matching sweaters painstakingly hand-knitted by Shingo's mother. Privately, K' thought they were the ugliest fucking things he'd ever laid eyes on. But they were comfy and they were warm (and it was a pretty touching gift, all things considered...), so he kept his grievances with the eye-searing colour schemes of the garments to himself.

Silently, he watched the snow fall out the window while Shingo dozed against him, powdery flakes twisting and dancing until they joined and settled into the blanket covering the garden. This was a somewhat different Christmas experience to what he was used to. Perhaps because this was the first one he'd spent with a family; an actual, related by flesh and blood one, as opposed to the tiny group of misfits he shared a living space with. It was nice to not have dinner accidentally iced over or set on fire due to a dispute. Scratch that… the normalcy in general was nice. A little painful, maybe, making his chest ache with longing for something – for people – he barely remembered outside of indistinct fragments… But still nice. Enough so to bring forth a smile during dinner. One he hadn't even been aware he'd been wearing until Mrs Yabuki brought it to his attention. With added commentary that it was a, quote unquote, lovely smile, making him feel about ten times more self-conscious than he had been throughout the entire gathering.

On that note, he still couldn't believe Shingo's family had taken such a shine to him. That they'd gladly and wholeheartedly welcomed him into their home, and accepted him as the boyfriend of their son, with smiles and kind words. Him; some amnesiac pyro punk with a shit attitude (that he'd done his best to reign in during this visit with, he hoped, successful results). It was too good to be true, honestly… Such positivity never lasted long for him, whether it had strings attached or not, and he was still ready and waiting for it all to fall apart around him. K' swallowed, his grip on Shingo tightening a fraction. He was only now beginning to feel like he deserved to have this one nice thing – a positive and healthy romantic relationship; his very first, to boot – and didn't want his seeming perpetual bad luck to ruin it.

His state of brooding was broken by a massive yawn from Shingo, drawing his attention down to his chest-turned-pillow. "Wha'ssa time?" he mumbled, stretching some and blinking blearily in the dim lighting.

"Dunno. Late, I guess?" K' couldn't be assed to get up and grab his phone off the coffee table to check. He was pinned and comfortable, anyways.

Shingo hummed absently and didn't press the matter any further. He wriggled until he could look K' in the eyes, his own warm brown ones still bleary with sleep. They crinkled more to match the soft smile that had crept onto his face. "Hey. Thanks for coming over tonight. It really means a lot to me, so I'm glad you could make it."

Moreso considering how nervous he knew K' had been about this event. With the way he'd been acting in the days prior, Shingo had fully expected him to not come; that he'd be spending Christmas with Maxima and Kula in their apartment as per the norm. Instead, he'd had the delightful surprise of meeting K' at the train station and walking with him hand in hand all the way to his house. He hadn't even realised anything was wrong for most of the walk, chalking up the near-silence that had met his excited stream of chatter as K' just being himself. It was only when he'd pointed out his house, causing K' to stop abruptly in his tracks, that Shingo had realised his hand was trembling. And that the taut lines in his face weren't out of annoyance, but of nervousness. He'd been close to bolting, Shingo could tell, yet had managed to overcome his fear anyway to make him happy.

After a moment of surprised blinking, K' mustered a small smile of his own. "I… yeah. Yeah, no problem." His bare left hand found Shingo's. Their fingers threaded together easily, meshing together like jigsaw pieces. Pieces that were mismatched and worn, scarred and with bits of the picture scratched away, but ones that fit together all the same, in spite of it all. "I'm glad I came down, too."

Shingo's grin widened. More wriggling ensued until he seemed comfortable again, resting his cheek in its previous position over K's heart. He nuzzled against the soft material of the sweater, releasing a contented sigh. "Love you."

Those words brought hesitation. K' wasn't brave enough to say them back yet. Wasn't certain he ever would be really, irrationally afraid that by verbally committing, his aforementioned bad luck would be summoned and ruin everything. Because he loved this boy with all of his messy, broken, heart; obnoxious amount of cheer, deafening snoring, tendency to initiate cuddling even when he was stinky and saturated with sweat, and all. So if anything bad, anything at all, were to happen to him, K' would… would…

He'd be absolutely devastated.

So in lieu of words – which he was pretty bad with, anyway – he delivered a gentle squeeze to Shingo's body and pressed his lips to the top of his head.