"Loo loo loo, I've got some apples, loo loo loo, you've got some too!" sang Butters, as he skipped to his first class of the day, which was Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"It's jolly good to see you Butters, would you care to take a seat next to me?" Pip, one of his dormmates, asked patting the empty desk beside his.

For some reason, no one wanted to be near Pip. Butters couldn't understand why though, he seemed like a really nice guy.

"Man, I sure am glad the Slytherins aren't in this class with us," said a Ravenclaw boy from in front of Butters.

Butters had to agree, he liked the idea of not having to see Eric Cartman first thing in the morning.

"Attention class!" a loud, crisp voice rang out. Immediately, everyone turned to the front.

"I am your teacher, Professor Frogspoon, and today, we are going to be learning about gnomes."

A series of groans sounded around the classroom.

"When are we going to learn cool spells?" a boy called.

"Soon, but today, we are learning about gnomes, now, who can tell me what a gnome is."

A girl with long black hair, who was sitting in the very front row, raised her hand.

"Yes Ms Testaburger?"

"A gnome is a small creature, that are found in northern Europe and North America, they are garden pests."

"Very good! Five points to Ravenclaw!"

By the end of class, Butters found himself knowing more about gnomes than he ever wanted to know. He was glad that he didn't have a garden, even though they were small, and not particularly dangerous, they sounded like a nightmare.


Eric Cartman walked into the Potions classroom with his chest out, and a smirk on his face. His head of house was the teacher of this class, he was going to breeze through it.

"Everyone in your seats," said a cold voice, as a tall, pale man with long black hair, and a hooked nose, glided into the classroom.

"My name is Professor Snape, and there will be no tomfoolery in this classroom, anyone caught acting out, or answering out of turn, will lose ten house points."

Eric let out a slight snort, because those rules didn't apply to him, right?

"Do you have something you want to share Mr Cartman?"

"Nope, actually, I did see something," he pointed at Kenny McCormick, this poor Gryffindor mudblood that happened to be sitting next to him, "This mu-, I mean, this student was talking about how he was going to brew a stink potion."

"I did not!" protested Kenny, practically jumping out of his desk.

"That is enough!" barked Professor Snape.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your outburst McCormick."

Cartman smirked.

"And ten points from Slytherin for lying to get another student in trouble!"

"Whaaa?" Cartman's mouth dropped open, was his Head of House really taking points from his own house?

It just didn't make any sense!

He growled and clenched his fist under his desk, he would get Professor Snape back, no one made him look like a fool!


"Hey Stan!" called Kenny McCormick as he walked into the green house.

"Hey Kenny, how has your first day been so far?" asked Stan.

"It was great, other than Eric Cartman trying to get me in trouble, and I also lost Gryffindor ten house points."

"Ugh, he's a nightmare, I'm just glad that I haven't had a class with him yet! Though," Stan could feel his face heat up, and he was sure that if he were to look in the mirror, he would be as red as a tomato, "Though, Wendy was in my first class with me."

He was still a bit upset that he wasn't sorted into the same house as her, but at least he had some classes with her.

"Hello class, I am Professor Sprout," said a short, portly woman, jumping out from behind a bush.

"While I find your conversations enlightening, it is time to begin class, today, we are going to be learning about Puffapods."

"Puffawhats?" Stan asked.

"Puff Daddy's house?" Kenny shrugged.

A lot of students looked confused, however, being born to a muggle father, Stan knew exactly what his new friend was talking about; he laughed.

"That is enough boys, pay attention!" exclaimed Professor Sprout.

Try as he might, Stan could not pay attention, his mind kept drifting to how a lot of the pureblood students didn't know who Puff Daddy was, and they thought muggle-borns were the unfortunate ones.


Kyle still couldn't figure out his new housemate, Craig Tucker. No matter what he did, or what he said, the other boy would flip him off.

He wondered if it could have been because of his family's reputation, being Slytherins and all.

"Oh man, I have been waiting for this moment ever since breakfast!"

Kyle turned around, and found himself looking at a Gryffindor with dirty blond hair.

"Hey, you're Kenny McCormick right?" he asked, recognising him from yesterday's sorting.

The Gryffindor nodded.

"You have a good memory!"

"Thanks!"

Kyle felt a bit disappointed that he had to sit at his house table for lunch, he was already getting along better with Kenny, in just a few short words, than he has with his other housemates. Though, Wendy wasn't so bad, she did seem a little bit miffed that he had answered a question right in History of Magic, that she had gotten wrong.

He glanced over at her, she was already sitting down, chatting up a storm with Gregory Yardale, this pompous know-it-all, whom Kyle didn't care to get to know.

"Well, I'm hungry, so I'm going to go eat," said Kenny.

"Okay," said Kyle, and he sat down in the only empty seat, which happened to be next to Craig Tucker.


"So, are you guys going to try out for Quidditch?" asked Kenny, as he munched happily on a lobster roll.

In his last free period, he read all about Quidditch, it seemed like an extremely interesting game.

"Next year, I heard first years aren't allowed to play Quidditch or something," said Clyde.

"I heard it's just seekers," said Token.

"I think I'd be a great seeker, I'm wiry, and I'm fast, not to mention, I have pretty good eyes," said Kenny.

Token snorted, and dunked a fry into some mayo.

"I plan on being seeker, so you better just prepare to be second string."

"Well, while you guys fight to be seeker, I'm going to be a beater, I heard the ladies love a strong man," said Clyde, flexing his muscles.

"Maybe, but the seekers get all the glory," said Kenny, imagining a swarm of ladies surrounding him when he caught the golden snitch.

"And all the pressure," Clyde laughed.

"Ahhh pressure!" a weird looking short creature, with large ears, and big eyes, suddenly screamed, dropping the stack of plates that he was holding.

"Come along Tweek, wait for the students to finish eating before you leave the kitchens!" said Professor McGonagall, ushering the strange creature away.

"What was that thing?" asked Kenny, still staring at the space where the creature had been.

"Oh, it's a house elf, they help out in the kitchens, they're also used as servants, my parents have a few that help them around the house," said Token.

"Cool," said Kenny with a slight smile.

He then went back to eating, dreading the time when lunch would be over.