It's been a while since I updated this! Kind of a celebratory thing I wrote 'cause I fell back into the fandom for season four which (by the way) I already have a lot of feelings about. I also kinda fell into Oikawa/Kuroo rarepair hell. So here's this, though it's not really a getting together thing or anything...
It had been a long day and Kuroo is about to McFreaking Lose It, it doesn't matter that he doesn't work at a McDonalds, it is going to happen. When he sees the large group of girls mobbing along the sidewalk of the building and drawing nearer, he nearly groans. He is not in a good enough mood to be able to deal with that many people coming in all at once. Please keep walking, please keep walking, please keep walking, please ke-
Of course. Of course they had to be following along behind what seems to be an airheaded pretty boy. His irritation dispersed a bit as he saw another guy coming up and clearing away all of the girls.
He puts on his best customer service smile as the shorter man makes his way to the counter, his fluffy haired companion lingers further back, presumably scanning the menu, it's a normal interaction. He rambles off the required welcome, gets the man's order, takes the money, gives the change. The customer moves away to get a table for himself and his friend.
Then the pretty boy steps forward with that clearly fake smile and annoyingly cheery voice that Kuroo can't help but duplicate, seeing as he is supposed to be the falsely cheerful one in this situation, orders his damn food and then. Oh boy, then. Kuroo, having to stick to the required script, and not actually wanting to lose his job (he definitely wouldn't lose his job over something so small, but he's a drama queen) has to utter those damning words.
"Will that be all?" Now, normally, this isn't that loaded of a question. He either gets confirmation that, yes, the customer is indeed rattling off their order, or he gets the 'actually, could I also add in a small fry?' then he would go ahead add on the damn fries and get a basic reply of 'yeah, that should do it'. But this man. Oh boy, this man. No.
"Actually," the pretty boy starts, a little smirk forming on his lips, and if Kuroo knew better, he would have cut this dickhead off there, but of course he doesn't because he needs this job. And he was expecting an order of fries or a drink of something, for god's sake. "Can I also get a large peppermint mocha?"
"Yeah, you could. If this was a coffee chain. We don't have any peppermint flavoring." Kuroo responds, this itself isn't that much of an annoyance. People ask for things their chain doesn't carry all the time. It's only annoying when they-
"Okay, you say that, but y'all have peppermint shakes right? So you have to have something right? Because you guys only carry chocolate and vanilla ice cream." As much as Kuroo wants to laugh hysterically at the seemingly unironic 'y'all', he can't with all of the irritation and insistence of this guy.
"We use a mint ice cream. All of our shakes are flavored by the ice cream we use. The only ice creams we sell on their own is the chocolate and vanilla."
"Okay, so just make a regular mocha and throw in some of the mint ice cream," the guy says, as though that solves the problem here.
"I'm sorry, sir," Kuroo bites out, this guy couldn't be any older than Kuroo himself and he definitely didn't deserve the respect. Usually the entitled assholes about things like this were a few generations older at least. "We can only use the ice cream for its intended purpose. I can get you a chocolate mint milkshake, instead?" Compromise. That was the way out of these interactions without having to deal with the Karens. If this guy presses any further, Kuroo is definitely going to lose his cool. He is going to say something that will get him scolded by his manager. Kuroo should have taken his break as soon as he saw these guys coming in.
"I won't tell anyone, if you don't," Kuroo is absolutely not playing nice guy anymore. The grating way that this guy was speaking. As if he was trying to be charming, like that would actually change Kuroo's response.
"I'm sorry sir, that's the best I can do for you. If you'd like a peppermint mocha you're going to have to make a stop at the Starbucks just down the street, okay?" And then it happened. That was supposed to be it, a slightly snappy response. But, no. Kuroo was still irritable and so he grumbles under his breath, "See, this is why all the damn straight men are trash." It was supposed to be quiet. But because Kuroo has such wonderful luck, he says it a bit too loud, and pretty boy hears him.
The customer gasps, looks offended for just a second before it finally seems to settle in for him enough to really grasp what exactly was said because he squawks. He slams his hands down onto the counter separating them, and dammit this guy does not look hot as fuck with that indignant expression Kuroo has to tell himself, and then- "Excuse the fuck out of you, you- bad haired, illmannered asshole! I like dick, too!" The guy was clearly grasping at words, trying to string something together.
"Well fucking, good for you, do you want a gold star for that? Would you like that chocolate mint shake or are you taking your happy ass to Starbucks?" Kuroo snaps back without much thought. Whether this guy likes dick or not isn't any of his business, he hadn't meant to say anything loud enough for this guy to hear.
The man in front of him seems to be at a loss for words, gasping and spluttering a bit, his face becoming red. Kuroo manages to keep a straight face as he waits for this guy to gather himself up enough to respond.
"Gimme a shake," The guy finally says, clearly deflating, looking a bit sullen.
"Great. If that'll be all, your total is 1,598 yen." The guy grumbles, pulling out his wallet and counting out coins before shoving the money over the counter. "We'll have that right out for you," Kuroo gives him the fake cheerful smile as he counts out change and hands over the coins along with his receipt.
As the guy slinks over to the table that his friend had chosen, Kuroo can't help but feel a bit better. He shouldn't have taken his frustrations out on a customer like he had, but the guy had been fun to rile up, so could anyone really blame him?
If Kuroo insisted on personally delivering the food to the apparently not straight pretty boy and his friend, then it definitely wasn't because he wanted to mess with the guy even more. Definitely not.