Story: Then she said and he said and she said

Summary: Lory tries to squeeze a decent love story from a bored Chiori.


Lory clashed with the Love Me room door, gasping for air. He tried to push it open, but the lock wouldn't budge. After three attempts, the man stopped his futile efforts and tried to catch his breath. He had heard the news from Kanae on the main floor and ran as fast as he could; she dropped the bomb and left before he had a chance to interrogate her. He looked around and found a detail he had missed in his hurry. Chiori was sitting on the ground, calmly doing her nails.

"Amamiya-kun! Oh it's so good to find you still here. Please, tell me what happened!"

Chiori looked up from her filing, startled.

"Oh good afternoon, President! What can I help you with?"

Lory stepped closer, fidgeting.

"Ren and Kyoko! Kotonami-kun just told me about their scene in front of this very door." He pointed at it, repeatedly.

Chiori looked up and smiled, understanding.

"Oh yes! Tsuruga-san confessed to Kyoko-chan. They're in the room now sorting it out, you know, privately."

Lory's eyes grew dramatically in size.

"WHAT NOW? Child, how can you say something like that so easily, so crudely? Where are the emotions; what were the details? As your boss, I demand more... particulars!"

She rolled her eyes and looked down, putting the brush to her first nail.

"Ah yes, there were flowers. So lovey-dovey, ugh."

"Flowers?" He paced back and forth, petting his mustache. "This was serious then, not just brought up at the moment... But if there were flowers... it means he planned this through."

She blew on her right hand.

"Yeah, if he didn't he wouldn't have that ring. He took a knee and everything."

Lory put his hands on his chest and let out a pained whisper.

"A ring? What kind of ring? Don't tell me the fool p-p-proposed?"

Chiori nodded and started on her next hand.

"I think so... and maybe there was a kiss too? I don't know, I was pretty grossed out at the moment. Who puts their hand there, touching each other like that in public? It was positively indecent I tell you." She shuddered.

Lory stopped his pacing and looked down at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Hands? HANDS? YOUNG LADY, YOU HAD BETTER TELL ME A LINEAR, COHESIVE, DETAILED STORY RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL SUBTRACT IT FROM YOUR NEXT PAYMENT!"

Chiori looked up, annoyed.

"You don't even pay me! Look, all I know is that me, Kanae and Kyoko were there in the room gathering our things and Tsuruga-san rushed in like a fool with a bouquet in hand and said" Chiori pitched her voice lower at that, "My dear Kyoko, I can't hold this feeling anymore! Yadda yadda yadda Love beyond age! Yadda yadda yadda you know my true self, shenanigans." She raised the pitch of her voice for the next step, "And Kyoko off course was like 'Oh no Tsuruga-san, what are you saying, I'm just your kouhai yadda yadda yadda, I can't possibly accept this, yadda yadda yadda so inappropriate! Blergh."

When finished, she looked back at the stunned president.

"You know how she gets with that whining senpai stuff. So Tsuruga-san leaned over and I looked away, because gross. The next thing I know he took a knee and said 'Please, consider my feelings seriously' and she said 'Oh my, Tsuruga-san' and he said 'Call me Kuon' and I said 'Look, can you do this in another place? I need my stuff and this talk is disgusting.' And so they kicked Kanae and me out and I'm here now, where I've been waiting for 15 minutes. Kanae just left. She was pissed too." She concluded her tale as the limits of her patience ended.

Lory was lost for words. He looked at his employee as he rested his shoulders against the door.

"Amamiya Chiori, how can you be an actress AND be so bad at storytelling?"

She rolled her eyes once more.

"I can be pretty good if I care. But I don't. Feelings stuff is gross."

As Lory prepared to reply, the door opened. He fell back on the carpet, stunned.

A startled Ren and a bright red Kyoko looked down at him with concern in their eyes.

"Lory, please be my best man," Ren requested as he offered him a hand.

If the president was not on the ground, he would have fallen again. Lory gave up on coherent thoughts, his brain overflowing. It was too much for the old president's heart.

"I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS TSURUGA SAN! We said to go slow!" He heard a faint voice in the background.

"It's Kuon, Kyoko. And I know, I'm just covering my bases."

Chiori simply rolled her eyes and stepped into the room. Finally. Who would want to know about Kyoko and Ren's love anyway? The way those two looked at each other was so cliche, so shoujo like.

As she walked out, she thought that if this were a manga, the sales would be terrible.

It was all so very predictable.


This prompt was: A love story told by someone who doesn't believe in love.