IMPORTANT: While this can be enjoyed without remembering much about the official She's the Man trailer, you would have the best reading experience if you watch "She's the Man Trailer" on Youtube (it's only 2-3 mins), just to refresh your memory on how the trailer goes, since this is basically a script of the trailer with Disney characters as the cast :) I DO NOT OWN THE TRAILER NOR THE DISNEY CHARACTERS


Fa Li (Mulan's mom): Ladies, today we're going to go over the guidelines for a graceful, ladylike entrée into society.

(Esmeralda stumbles into the room with her hair a mess, loudly slamming the door behind her and causing lots of heads to turn to her)

Belle: Make sure she's in the back of the group photo.

Narrator: Esmeralda was facing a fate worth than death.

Cruella de Vil (pulls out a spotted dress): Ta-da!

Esmeralda: Sorry mom, I have a strict no-spots policy.

Narrator: …until her twin brother, Aladdin, showed her a way out.

Esmeralda: Where are you going?

Aladdin: London, for a couple of weeks!

Esmeralda: What are you gonna do about school?

Aladdin: I was kinda hoping you could help me with that! …Could you like, pretend to be me?

(shift to a scene where Esmeralda is talking to the Genie)

Genie (laughing): You want me to…turn you into your brother?

Esmeralda: Nobody earlier has even met Aladdin. They wouldn't know the difference!

Narrator: Now, she's headed to Disney Academy..

Li Shang: Let's go! Kick, kill!

Narrator: …where the men have game…

(shows a scene of a bunch of animated Disney characters playing soccer)

Narrator: …and the women have attitude.

Gaston: Hey there, pretty lady!

Belle: Ew! Girls with butts like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours!

(Phoebus, who's next to Gaston, snickers)

Gaston: Uh…

(shifts to a scene of Esmeralda, who is now disguised as Aladdin)

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: (shows up to the boys' dorm room and forces herself to speak in her best male voice) Whaddup?

(shifts to another scene where she's in the boys' locker room with Phoebus, Hercules, and Prince Eric)

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: (speaks in her best male voice) We're gonna be tight, bro!

Hercules: Seriously, how old are you?

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: (in her best male voice) I skipped a couple grades, ehehe….

Prince Eric: There is something odd about that new boy.

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: (nods to a random guy giving her a weird look) Suuuup.

(shifts to scene where Esmeralda is in the bathroom standing in front of Ling)

Ling: You are SO busted!

(Phoebus walks by Ling and whacks the back of his head with a towel)

Narrator: But at this school, everyone's got a secret. Phoebus wants Jasmine…

Phoebus (speaking to Jasmine): Do you like…cheese?

Narrator: …who wants Aladdin…

Jasmine (talks to herself while staring at Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin): Isn't he cute?

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: (hugging Belle and speaking in her best male voice) How you doin' babe? (spanks Belle's butt) Woo!

Narrator: …who is really Esmeralda, whose brother is dating Belle, so she hates Jasmine, who's dating Phoebus, to make Aladdin jealous.

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: What does your heart tell you?

Phoebus (frowns at her): Huh?

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: I mean…which one would you rather see NAKED?!

Narrator: Who is really Esmeralda getting jealous, because she wants Phoebus. Who thinks she's a guy.

Phoebus: (looking uncomfortable while Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin is hugging him) Okay. Okay! (awkwardly struggles out of her grip) Uh-uhm…!

Narrator: And this is where it gets really complicated.

Gaston (comes up to Phoebus, looking angry): 'Scuse me, doofus! (punches Phoebus's jaw)

(Phoebus punches Gaston's eye)

(shifts to a scene where Belle punches Jasmine)

(Jasmine kicks Belle between the legs)

Lumiere: Sexual tension…

(shifts to scene where Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin spanks Cinderella)

Lumiere: …male-female dynamics…

(shifts to a scene where Phoebus and Jasmine are making out)

Lumiere: …it's all part of the high school experience!

(shifts to a scene where Phoebus and Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin scream at the sight of a spider, jump on a stool and hug each other, look at each other, and then scream as they immediately release each other)

Hercules: I hate high school!

(shifts to scene where the real Aladdin is on the soccer field and pulls down his pants and underwear)

Cogsworth: (winces at the sight and mutters to Lumiere) Is it just me, or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?

(shifts to scene where Phoebus and Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin are talking together in their dorm room)

Phoebus: I'm not really good at talking to girls.

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: Why? You're hot!

Phoebus (winces): What…?!

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: Ahem, well, I- you're an appealing man. Guy. Man. G-guy-man.

Narrator: The secret is out! (a brief scene of each Disney character is shown as the cast is announced)

(shifts to another scene where Hercules is walking with Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin)

Hercules: I got lady-troubles.

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: I got lotta common knowledge.

Narrator (as the movie title comes up): She's the Man!

(On the soccer field, a soccer hits Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin between the legs)

Esmeralda-disguised-as-Aladdin: (looks around and notices everyone on the soccer field is staring at her, cringing) Oh, right. (places her hands between her legs) OWWWWW! OHHH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

(end trailer)