Shawn sighed as he and the other members of their acapella group entered the stage. He wasn't feeling so amazing all of a sudden but their set was short and he wasn't going to let it affect their performance.
"Israel was in Egypt's land," Gus sang the first line.
"Let my people go," the others harmonized.
Shawn put his hands above his head and started a clap as everyone followed along. He grimaced internally at a small pain twinged his stomach but ignored it.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh."
Oh come on, this is so not the time to be getting sick, Shawn thought as more pressure built in his abdomen.
"When Israel was In Egypt's land!" Gus belted.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh."
"Oppressed so hard, They could not stay." Shawn added.
He wiped a hand against the sweat forming on his brow. Wow, it's pretty hot up here.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh." Tony and Drew kept the beat next to him.
Huh, my stomach is starting really starting to hurt now.
"Go down, Moses!" Shawn heard Gus, wiping his hand on his brow again.
How much heat do those stage lights produce?
"Way down in Egypt's land!" Shawn sang, rolling out "land."
He put his hands to his head as he quickly steadied himself. Just the action of singing had made him dizzy and slightly disoriented.
"Tell old Pharaoh!" Gus continued.
"Let my people go!" the group finished.
Shawn half-smiled as they stood back and the crowd started to cheer. Usually he would be relishing in this but his stomach was cramping so badly he could hardly concentrate on anything but calming his breaths to keep the pain at bay.
Just a few more moments and we'll be done.
He wiped his face again. Why am I sweating so much?
Shawn stepped forward as they bowed to the crowd. He went down once and came back up as he tried to control his breathing again as the pain seemed to suddenly multiply.
He followed them bowing once again but this time the pain had wretched his stomach into a tight, unbearable knot. Shawn reached for Gus's nearby leg as he tried to stabilize himself before collapsing at his friend's feet.
He felt a hand on his back as Gus looked down at him. "Shawn! Are you okay?"
Shawn grimaced as his body tried to curl in on itself. "Gus, I think you're going to have to get me to a hospital." He didn't see the reactions from the crowd at his sudden collapse.
Drake grabbed the mic as Gus and Tony tried to help Shawn up. "Thank you, everybody. We're Blackapella."
"Quarter Black!" Shawn yelled out. He felt like he was dying but so help him he was going to fight for that name. "We're called Quarter Black!"
Shawn crawled forward as his friends continued to try to help him up. It felt like he was being stabbed by a hundred sharp knives right into his abdomen.
You know what, this looks like a nice place to rest right here.
The last thing he remembered was seeing Jules and Lassie's concerned faces in the crowd as he blacked out.
When Shawn awoke the first thing he realized was that he was in the hospital. Around him stood his Dad, Gus, and Jules.
He couldn't quite place the looks on his friend and girlfriend's faces but his dad most certainly looked pissed off.
"All right, give it to me straight, how bad is it?" Shawn asked, preparing for the worst.
His dad gave him an annoyed look. "You had severe trapped gas."
Shawn gave his dad a confused look. "What? No way. I felt like Donkey Kong was using my stomach for target practice! Are you sure my appendix didn't burst or something?"
Henry sighed. "Yes, they're sure. At first no one could figure out what was wrong with you until you let it all out in the CT scan."
Shawn smiled slightly at the thought of him breaking wind while doctors were trying to figure out what was going on.
"They say you smiled just like that when droppin' those stink bombs." Gus snarked.
Jules laid her hand on Shawn's shoulder. "Shawn, you had us so worried there for a while. I mean, thank God it was nothing serious this time, but still."
Shawn immediately felt guilty as he saw the concern that still lingered on her face. "Aw, I'm sorry Jules. I didn't mean to hurt you."
She smiled at him in response. "I know you didn't, I'm just glad you're okay."
"Wait, so, if it was just gas pain, why did I pass out?" Shawn questioned.
"Because you're a little girl," said Gus, rolling his eyes.
Henry smirked. "Shawn, no one's questioning that you were feeling pain. It was just too much for you too handle, apparently. You've always had a low pain tolerance since you were a kid."
Shawn gasped dramatically. "I do not! I'll have you know that my pain tolerance is higher than-"
"Eleventh grade science class!" Gus retorted.
Shawn gave him a death glare and grumbled, "That's not fair."
Henry rolled his eyes at the pair of friends.
"Look, the doctor said you could sign out as soon as you were awake and feeling fine." the father said, handing Shawn his clothes from earlier and pointing to a door in the emergency room. "Bathroom is over there, we need to get going."
Shawn sighed and accepted the clothes. "Okay, okay. What's the rush?"
"After we left the center, I got a call from Vick that there had been a shooting. While you were cutting the cheese, Deacon Jones was shot. Because of Deacon's stature in the community, Chief wants finding his shooter to be our number one priority. So that means all hands on deck."
Shawn and Gus shared a quick look of surprise at the news.
"Oh wow, okay. Yeah, let's get going."
As Shawn climbed out of the bed, he felt the sudden rush of pressure to his lower regions.
"Shawn!" three voices called out, covering their noses with varying levels of disgust.
A/N: Total crackfic I came up with really late last night when I was having such intense gas pains I was nearly in tears and thinking there was something more serious going on. I thought of this episode and thought it would be hilarious if Shawn had something way less whumpy happen to him XD Henceforth came this episode tag- AU/ anti-whump/ crackfic. I had a lot of fun looking up fart euphemisms.
This is what happens when you ask Koohii to beta your crackfic and says it's not cracky enough. Just sayin':
Henry smirked AND OPENED UP HIS MOUTH TO SHOW ALL OF HIS TEETH TO SHAWN BEFORE HE ATE HIM.