Drunk Me - Mitchell Tenpenny

I've been sober

'Cause there ain't no hangover like you

Baby can you come over

I always find those words at the bottom of a hundred proof

Girl, every time you do

I just end up, head all messed up like the sheets where we made love

I've been sober since you broke my heart in two

'Cause drunk me can't get over you


Beca stared at the bottle of Jack Daniels Single Barrel Whiskey in front of her, willing hands to stay at her sides. Getting it out of the liquor cabinet and placing it on the counter was bad enough, knowing what would happen if she opened it for that first drink.

It all started with the whispered confession those years ago in a tent at Aubrey's crazy, bear-trap infested retreat. Beca could still hear the words in her mind as clearly as if Chloe was breathing them into her ear.


"You know, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do enough experimenting in college."

It took exactly three days, one Treble party, the liquid courage from an ungodly number of jello shots, and about five rounds of beer pong for Beca to act on the feelings she'd been suppressing for four years. They'd stumbled into Chloe's room laughing about something that probably wouldn't have been nearly as funny sober, and before Beca could stop herself she tugged the redhead flush against her and connected their lips. Chloe didn't hesitate to return the kiss and Beca quickly lost control, reveling in living out the fantasy that had played over and over in her mind, only to find out reality was so much better.

She'd woken up to red hair splayed messily across her pillow and Chloe's blue eyes twinkling at her, taking a moment to summon up the courage to confess her feelings. Chloe didn't allow her the chance though, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before hopping out of bed to pull on some clothes, tossing a, "That was fun... want to get some breakfast?" over her shoulder as she went to brush her teeth. Beca recalled covering her face with her hands when Chloe was out of sight, vowing to never do it again before answering in the affirmative hoping the forced, overly cheerful reply wasn't as horrible as it sounded.


The next time was in Copenhagen after their winning performance, the whole group partying into the early hours of the morning at a club. Beca clearly remembered the culprit being tequila and the impressive set from the DJ, Chloe always able to persuade her to dance with her stupid puppy face and stupidly blue eyes and stupidly gorgeous face. It was impossible to say no when Chloe was looking at her like that, pausing to down the two shots in front of her on the bar before letting the redhead tug her away.

The music was good and it was borderline sinful the way Chloe moved on the dance floor, with Beca half expecting any number of the guys eyeing them to throw her a lifeline and steal the redhead away for a dance. Chloe only had eyes for her though, at least Beca was pretty sure that was the case since Chloe was pressed flush against her back for most of the night, her hands wandering scandalously over the brunette's hips and thighs. Even Stacie had shot her a look with an eyebrow raised, before leaning in to shout in her ear, "You guys are fucking hot!" Chloe had heard of course, her laugh ringing back in Beca's ear, and Beca assumed they exchanged a look from the way Stacie winked at a spot slightly over her shoulder.

Chloe was the initiator this time, ignoring the whistles and cat calls from the rest of the Bellas when she led Beca into her hotel room, the brunette drunk enough to avoid blushing from embarrassment and instead kept her focus on the way Chloe pushed her up against the door the second it closed.

This time Beca woke up alone to rumpled sheets with a pounding headache, and though she did appreciate the aspirin and glass of water Chloe left on her nightstand, it didn't stop the ache in her heart that formed when the redhead greeted her with a hug and wink, before proceeding with the day laughing off the teasing and jokes from the rest of the Bellas as if the previous night wasn't a big deal. Beca did the same, but something about the way Stacie was eyeing her made her think she wasn't as convincing as she hoped.


The pattern continued when she moved to New York with Amy, Chloe joining them in their shoebox of an apartment after getting a job as a veterinary assistant at a nearby clinic to complete her prerequisite hours for her vet school applications. It was a bittersweet feeling when Beca discovered she'd be sharing the pullout couch with her best friend, like flying so close to the sun but ultimately getting burned each time. Drinks would inevitably turn into a hookup, but only on the nights Amy would mysteriously disappear, their only clue to her whereabouts usually being a text telling them not to look for her, followed by casual mornings filled with flirty banter. For a while Beca wondered if this was how they'd eventually end up together, until Chloe announced she had a date and told them with a wink not to wait up. The relationship didn't last, to Beca's relief, but the dates also didn't stop and made her heart sink each time the redhead didn't make it home at night.

The USO Tour was like a breath of fresh air for her, and Beca felt an overwhelming sense of relief that she could put some distance between herself and Chloe with her own hotel room. Chloe was thrilled at getting to spend so much time with Aubrey again, and Beca was thankful it made their separation less noticeable, though she still caught Chloe's eyes on her throughout their time traveling Europe.

The one thing Beca wasn't prepared for was the feeling of being punched in the gut every time Chloe flirted with that one army idiot... who names their kid after a fucking city anyways? At least in New York she didn't have to see Chloe with someone else, and having it flaunted right in front of her was decidedly the worst thing ever. She accepted the fact that she was jealous and kept it to herself that Chicago looked like the biggest, most boring tool on the planet, which should have earned her some equivalent of a medal. To make matters worse, Theo kept coming up to her at the actual worst moments, wondering if he actually thought his flirting was effective when all she could see when she looked at his face was a turtle.

After that final performance, Beca felt the incredible rush of adrenaline prompting her to do something incredibly stupid, like confess her feelings to Chloe. She rounded the corner just in time to see Chloe strut up to Chicago and pull him into a kiss, this time actually feeling the breath get sucked out of her. Of course Theo showed up beside her with some comment she did not want to hear, forcing her eyes away from the love of her life to look at his turtle face and give a retort before walking away.

They all went out to celebrate and against her better judgement Beca decided the only way to make it through the night was drunk off her ass. She ultimately ended up stumbling toward Chloe's door at about two in the morning, just in time to see Chicago follow her inside the room. A hand suddenly landed on her shoulder, and Beca whirled around with fists raised to see Aubrey wearing an expression of pity before raising an eyebrow at her stance.

"What are you doing here?" Beca asked, lowering her hands when Aubrey's pointed look made her realize how stupid she looked.

"What are you doing here?" Aubrey repeated, her gaze softening.

Beca glanced around, finally answering, "I'm lost... and drunk..."

"Stacie told me."

"Stacie doesn't know shit," Beca mumbled, turning away from the blonde.

Aubrey reached out again and grabbed her arm. "Beca... I know. I'm sorry."

Beca felt hot tears pool behind her eyes. "It's fine. It's nothing."

Aubrey pulled her into a hug and the dam broke, tears flooding out before Beca could stop them. It was possibly her worst nightmare, crying from a broken heart all over Aubrey, who she didn't hate but also still wasn't her choice of people to break down to... or on. Beca spent the night in the Aubrey's room, letting the blonde be an unexpected source of comfort before making her swear they would never speak of it again.


Chloe stayed behind at the base for a few weeks before she started vet school and Beca made sure she relocated to LA before the redhead returned to New York, unable to face her or the heartache that had taken up permanent residence in her chest. Her situation was impossible. To make matters worse, Beca found out that the Chloe had accepted admission into vet school in LA and was thrilled to discover she'd be so close to the brunette. The redhead had kept it from her because she was so upset at the thought of being across the country from her best friend.

Bittersweet was the only word to accurately describe her situation. The move to the west coast broke up Chloe and soldier boy Chicago, but Beca still found herself unable to confess her true feelings for the redhead. Alcohol didn't help, finding herself staring at Chloe's phone number on her iPhone screen after only a drink or two, trying and failing talking herself out of pressing it even if it was only to hear the redhead's voice. Their conversations were so predictable, Chloe instantly able to hear the sorrow in her voice and Beca never able to stop herself from inviting the girl over, despite knowing how the evening would end. Staying sober proved to be just as hard, without the alcohol to distract her from the hurt Beca felt just as miserable.

Her one true savior ended up being Stacie, who relocated to LA to be with Aubrey and raise little Bella as a family. Beca wasn't surprised at the news, having made the connection early on that the wild brunette was hot for their uptight captain and figured if anyone could put up with Aubrey it'd be Stacie. Beca spent more nights than she cared to admit crashing on their couch after insisting that Stacie confiscate her phone until morning when she was sober and thinking clearly.


The door to her apartment opening jarred Beca out of her thoughts, turning away from the bottle of whiskey to see Stacie walk around the corner and assess the situation.

"Bec..." The taller brunette trailed off, her eyes flickering back and forth between Beca's and the Jack Daniels on the counter top.

"I know." Beca's reply was terse. "So you know then?"

Stacie nodded, her expression even. "Yeah. She asked Aubrey to be her maid of honor last week. Bec, I'm so..."

Beca cut her off, "Don't, Stace... I'm... I'm fine."

"Clearly. What are you doing with that, then? You know when you drink you end up calling her."

Beca narrowed her eyes at the Jack Daniels label, clenching her hands into fists before coming to a decision. It had been an unhealthy relationship... friendship... for so long, yet the finality of ending that part of it was physically painful. Beca knew it was the right thing, at some point she had to move on... and apparently that point was right now. She took a deep breath, before silently picking up the bottle and returned it to the cabinet, firmly closing the door.


A/N: Let me know whatcha think!