I OWN NOTHING. SM OWNS TWILIGHT. ALL I OWN IS MY DARK THOUGHTS :)
THIS ISN'T BETA'D, SO PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH ME!
Some chapters will be long and some short. It depends on how much comes out when I write.
I don't have a posting schedule. I have a baby so she takes up most of my time but I promise I'll try and post as often as possible.
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Song: Turning page by Sleeping At Last
I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
Well I would have known
What I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
I'm mindlessly doing the laundry as my thoughts drift someplace else.
I can't believe I'm here. If you had asked me a year ago I would have laughed at you. It took months of convincing Charlie I would be okay living with Edward but it finally happened. Our cottage deep in the forest but not far from the Cullens house is three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It's perfect. Edward and I officially live together like a normal couple. It was weird, adjusting to living with another person that didn't need to do everything I needed to do. At first I made Edward leave the house entirely when I needed to go to the bathroom but now I don't care. My period was a whole other issue because he couldn't just ditch me for a week while I was PMSing. He had to learn to deal with that shit like every other man does when they decide to shack up with their girl. So, like every good man, Edward bought me chocolates and brought me my heating pad and let me have space when I was acting like an asshole for no reason. He even held me when I cried while listening to Phil Collins sing Against the odds... even if he thought I was ridiculous.
I giggle to myself as I fold another piece of laundry before I feel cold arms wrapping around me.
"Having fun in here, baby?" Edward asks me.
I hum and turn in his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and he bends slightly so we can kiss properly. He pulls away, like always, when it starts to get heated. I groan in frustration.
"Soon, my love," He promises, like always.
"Mmmhmmm..." I say sarcastically.
He grins and bites his bottom lip -tease- and tilts his head at me, "Are you almost ready for our trip?" He questions.
I nod, "Yeah, I'm almost all packed, although I'm sure Alice will want to go through everything and approve it," I say with a sigh.
He wraps his long arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder in such a human gesture I don't think he realizes it, "Just remember, very soon, baby, you and I will be in England, just the two of us for your birthday," He reminds me.
I smile hugely, "I still can't believe you're taking me to England for my birthday, this is crazy."
He pushes my hair behind my ear, "I just want you to have so many happy memories while you're still human," He tells me.
"You're my happiest memory," I say cheesily.
He smiles and shakes his head before bending down slowly to kiss me again.
"I love you," He whispers against my lips.
My eyes flutter shut as I breathe in his heavenly smell, "I love you," I return dreamily.
We're interrupted by a loud, impatient vampire who bursts through our front door.
"Bella! You have to let me see what you packed for England!" Alice demands.
"Come on in, Alice," Edward says sarcastically and making me giggle.
Alice rolls her eyes, "I could see you two were finished and it's not like anything else was going to happen," She snarks and flits over to my suitcase.
I glare at Edward, "Mmmhmm, Alice would know all about our lack of a sex life," I pout.
He lets his fingers trail softly down my cheek, "You're so impatient, my sweet little human," He teases and then tells me he has to go talk to Carlisle.
I quirk an eyebrow at him but nod, telling him it's fine before turning back to Alice.
"Why haven't you packed any lingerie?" She questions while holding my eyes.
I hold her gaze right back, proud of myself for being able to keep eye contact with those inhuman gold eyes, "Because, Allie, nothing ever happens," I exaggerate with a huff.
She purses her lips, "Well, I just happened to go to La Perla and... I bought you new stuff," She says and revels bags of sexy underwear.
"Whoa, you expecting something to happen on this trip?" I ask in a teasing voice as I look through the bags; noticing a lot of deep blues.
"Make something happen," She replies and then moves on to asking me if I've remembered my passport.
The flight from Seattle to London is 10 hours and by the time we land, I'm feeling it.
I'm cranky and I want to eat so Edward stops at a restaurant with good reviews.
"I hope this is okay, baby," He comments as he helps me out of the car.
Some times my leg still acts up in the cold but Edward is always there to help me.
"It's perfect, thank you, babe," I tell him as we walk towards the restaurant hand in hand.
"What do you want to do after this?" He asks me as we wait for the hostess to seat us.
I stretch my arms over my head and lean into him, "Mm. Take a hot bath and then snuggle in a huge bed with you until I pass out from exhaustion," I tell him honestly.
"That sounds perfect to me," He presses his lips to my neck and causes me to shiver.
"Cullen? Right this way, guys," The friendly woman says as she beckons us to follow her.
Edward gestures me to go first and follows close behind me as the hostess leads us to our table. Edward pulls out my chair and I plop down heavily which makes him chuckle as he sits angelically next to me.
"What can I get you to drink?" She asks us.
Unsure, I just order a water as does Edward. She nods and disappears.
I sigh heavily, "I'm so tired," I complain.
Edward strokes my fingers softly, "Maybe we should leave and get room service?" He suggests.
I purse my lips, "No way, we've already been seated, that would be so awkward just leaving! Besides, my hungry out ways my tiredness," I tell him while resting my chin on my folded hands.
He smiles at me, causing me to be dazzled like always, and runs his fingertips along my cheek, "Okay, sweetheart."
I melt into a pile of goo at his term of endearment. He knows I love it when he calls me sweetheart, it's my weak point.
Our waitress comes over with our waters and gets my order of fish and chips; side-eyeing Edward when he doesn't order anything.
"What was she thinking when you didn't order any food?" I ask him curiously.
He rubs his chin, "She was thinking that I'm a weirdo and that I'm probably on some weird American diet," He replies.
I laugh loudly, "Hmm. If she only knew..." I tease.
He entwines our fingers and brings my hand up to press to his lips, "I love you," He reminds me.
I smile at him, caught in his gaze, "I love you more."
He shakes his head, "No way," He argues playfully.
"Mm, I think yes," I say.
"I guess we'll always fight about who loves who more as long as we live," He tells me.
"Not the worst thing to fight about, is it?" I shrug lazily.
"No, it's definitely not," He agrees.
I love how easy it is to love him and how he jokes with me. Some times I get so emotional with how much I enjoy life with Edward and how long it took us to get here. In some ways, Edward doesn't even realize how human our relationship is. The way we had to work on our relationship and build each other up. I like to think it's made our relationship a million times stronger.
"Do you think our relationship is stronger after everything we've been through?" I wonder as I play with my straw.
He nods, "I think so; I'm so grateful you gave me another chance and we were able to grow as a couple."
"We gave each other another chance at love and it worked out amazingly. I love our life together, Edward, everything is perfect," I say emotionally and suddenly I'm afraid I'm going to start crying.
Edward presses my hand against his cold cheek before kissing my hand again, "You will forever be the best part of me, Bella, and I thank you for that," He tells me.
I try to discreetly wipe my eyes but it just makes him chuckle, "You always have a way of making me cry in the worst places," I accuse.
He shrugs his shoulders at me and shows me his palms in surrender, "It's not my fault! You bring it out of me!" He says playfully.
I'm about to tease him even more when my food finally comes out. I scarf it down so fast I don't even taste it while Edward watches me in amazement. After he pays the bill, he stands and holds out his hand for me.
"Let's get out of here so I can watch you take that bath," He says so easily that it causes me to burst into laughter.
"Yeah, right, like you'd ever sneak a peak," I playfully shove him and he allows me to.
"Maybe it's time," He replies casually and holds the door open for me.
"You are such a tease, Edward Cullen, I swear to God... I'm going to have to touch myself in front of you to get a response," I grumble.
I think I've said that lowly but the men in front of us turning to look at me and laughing tells me I've been loud.
"I'll help you with that if he won't, beautiful," One of the young guys says flirtatiously.
I blush, my skin heating up, "You wish!" I return but clutch Edward's arm a little harder.
He lets me pull him closer until I'm basically attached to his side. His laugh is easy, though, as he tells the guys he's got it under control. They laugh obnoxiously loud, obviously feeling their alcohol, and go on their merry way.
"Did they have bad thoughts?" I ask Edward.
He shakes his head, "No, baby, they had drunk thoughts, they think you're gorgeous and they were a little sad that you were taken but they weren't thinking about harming you," He assures me.
I nod, "I could tell by how calm you were."
"You know I'll never let anything happen to you," He says seriously.
I snuggle into his side, "I know you won't, baby," I say as we continue to the car.
Later, I'm soaking in the huge tub as Edward starts the fireplace. It's dropped to the forties so it's chilly and perfect for a fire.
I giggle at the book I'm reading as the bubbles surround me in the hot bath. Suddenly, I feel the water shift and look up to see Edward climbing in. I let my book fall to the ground with a loud thud against the tile floor. I watch him for a second, wondering if I'm imagining this or if it's really happening.
"Hi," He says gently.
I'm memorized by the way his pale skin looks under the glow of the water that it takes me a second to finally speak.
"Hi, umm, what's going on?" I ask; trying to sound casual.
"I thought I'd sneak a peak," He says calmly with that sly smile of his.
I roll my eyes, "Is that so? Well? What do you think?" I question. My heart is thudding in my ears.
His eyes run over my body for a second before he meets my eyes, "Stunning, beautiful, magnificent, but I already knew that," He tells me, those golden eyes intense.
I grin, "You're such an old man but I love you anyway."
He raises his eyebrow at me, "Old man, huh? I'll show you old man!" He pulls me closer to him and suddenly, I'm sitting on his very naked lap.
I'm startled for a second before I close my eyes and lean forward to kiss him. He meets me halfway and deepens the kiss. His hands fist into my hair, making it damp, as he continues his ravish on my lips. I feel his hands leave my hair and begin their journey downwards. He's touching skin as he explores my body. I've never felt so warm in my life as his cold hands skim the tops of my breasts.
I pull back, "What's happening?" I wonder breathlessly.
He cocks his head, "Do you want me to stop?" He asks worriedly.
"God no! I mean, please, don't, I just... I didn't expect this, are we... are we having sex tonight?" I ask him.
His eyes shine in the light of the bathroom, "No, baby, not tonight, but I'd like to touch you if that's okay with you?" He makes it sound like a question, as if he's asking my permission.
I let my head fall back, exposing my neck to him, "It's more then okay, Edward," I breathe.
"Should we move outside of the bath? It's starting to get cold."
"Okay," I agree easily, just wanting him to continue his torture with his magical fingers on my very hot skin.
He carries me out and, in the blink of an eye, lays me down on a very soft blanket in front of the fireplace. My skin is still damp from the water as he slowly begins his touching again. Then, when I think it can't get much better, he runs his tongue along my collarbone catching the beaded water. I moan his name and arch into him. My hands have a mind of their own as I clutch his hair tightly. I open my eyes and find his.
"Are you alright, my love?" He asks me as he trails his fingertips down the inside of my trembling thigh.
"Oh God, Edward, please, please," I beg uncaringly.
His intense eyes hold mine as he dips his fingers lower and when he finds me, hot and wet, he moans aloud.
"Bella, you feel... there are no words, I can't describe how amazing you feel, your body was made for me," He says causing me to clench at his words. He feels it of course and smiles. "Do you like my words, baby? Do you want me to keep talking? Telling you how warm you are. How wet you are for me, just for me, always for me. I bet you taste as sweet as you smell."
He brings his glistening fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean. I shake violently, moaning, and I think I can cum just by his words alone. I don't have to though because as soon as he wraps his lips around my nipple, it causes my body to explode. I cry out, searching for Edward, needing him closer to me. He covers me with his body and I don't even feel the cold. I rub against him shamelessly and he responds. He entwines our fingers and holds them above my head as he rocks his hips with mine. Our lips crash together and I'm close again that I start to move erratically. Finally, I find what I need as soon as he finds his release.
I open my eyes, wanting to watch him, and stare at his gorgeous face as it tightens and his eyes squeeze shut. My chest is heaving as he blinks rapidly down at me in a daze. I put my hand on his chest and feel him taking deep breaths as well.
I giggle, my bones feel like noodles, "Wow... That was amazing. Can we do it again?" I hug him tighter to my naked body.
He sighs into my neck, "You are incredible, Bella, I've never felt like that in my entire life, I..." He hesitates but I urge him to continue. "I want to do that everyday with you."
My heart feels like it might implode with happiness, "Can it be multiple times a day?" My face burns with pleasure as I roll him onto his back and straddle his waist.
His groin is sticky from his release and I roll my hips around which causes him to moan.
"Baby.." He warns; gently putting his hands on my hips.
"It's not what I expected," I whisper almost to myself.
He's hard, really hard, but not cold. I wonder if it's psychological or if I'm adjusting to his temperature because this is consensual between us. It's love. It's everything I want and more.
"What's that, baby?" He wonders as I continue to rock my hips.
"You. Your... dick. It's not... umm.. scary? I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just.. feel amazing with you, like this, and you're not cold. I was wondering if that was psychological because I'm feeling good. I'm with the person I love and my body knows it. I'm sorry, I'm ruining this," I complain and fall forward onto his solid chest.
His arms wrap around me and he brings me with him as he sits up. He brushes the hair from my face.
"Don't downplay what you're feeling, Bella, nothing you ever think or feel is wrong. I want you to always tell me what you're thinking or how you feel. I love that you feel close enough to me to never hide from me. Now, to answer your question, maybe it is psychological, maybe your brain is telling your body it's okay and your body is responding. I, for one, love the way it responds to me," He practically purrs and rubs himself against me.
I giggle again and make sure he can feel the wetness that's seeping out and covering him, "You better stop teasing me, Edward Cullen, I won't be held responsible for what my vagina does to you," I tell him and watch as his large hands cup my breasts.
"How have I lived without touching you for so long?" He murmurs as he plays with my nipple; causing my stomach to clench.
My head rolls back and he takes that opportunity to kiss and lick my neck. I want to cry it feels so good.
"You realize... I could just move a little to the left and you'd be inside me," I tell him, out of breath.
He pulls back slightly to look at me directly, holding my eyes, "I want our first time to be special, my love."
"More special then this? We're in England on a blanket in front of fire inside a very expensive hotel, this is special, baby," I remind him.
"I... I just have it planned out, okay? Can you just be patient for a little longer?" He pleads.
Hope surges through me, "Are we going to make love in England?" I question.
He chuckles and rolls his eyes at me, "Of course we are," He says with a duh.
I smile, "I hope it's everything you've imagined," I mutter, slightly self conscious.
"Oh no you don't! Why are you getting all shy with me now? You're still sitting on top of me, naked, and you were rubbing on me like a cat in heat a few moments ago. What's wrong, sweetheart?" He strokes my cheek.
"I just... I want it to be good for you. You've been waiting a very long time to have sex with someone and you decided it should be me... I just don't want to not live up to your exceptions," I tell him honestly.
He tilts my chin up so I'm looking at me, "Baby, I think any man feels lucky to be allowed to touch and share this intimate moment with another person, I've waited this long because I knew the love of my life was out there, waiting for me, and when I found you, I knew I wanted to wait until our moment was perfect because you deserve nothing but perfection, my love."
My eyes well up with tears as I hide my face in his neck, "I love you so much, Edward; I'm so glad you found me," I cry.
He rubs my back soothingly, "We found each other," He corrects.
He holds me like this until I fall asleep, naked, in his arms.
"Make sure you dress warmly, sweetheart, I don't want you being cold while we're out and about," Edward reminds me as I'm getting ready.
"Okay, baby," I respond as I fluff out my curls that flow down my shoulders.
I put on some mascara to bring some attention to my brown eyes and decide I look nice. I'm wearing a white long sleeved sweater dress with black leggings and tan flat boots. I slid on my long tan jacket and I'm good to go.
"You look beautiful, baby," Edward compliments me.
"Well, you look handsome yourself, are we going somewhere fancy?" I pry.
He grins at me, "We're doing the usual tourist stuff... see big ben, take a ride on the tube and go check out the London eye," He tells me.
I nod at him as we make our way towards the glass elevator.
Our morning starts off by going on the London eye and I'm amazed by how beautiful the city is.
"Are you ready for our next stop?" Edward asks me.
"Yeah! I'm having an amazing time with you, baby!" I say and twirl around to look at everything we pass.
"We're off to see the Queens Guard," He tells me with a smile.
I link our fingers and shove our hands into my jacket pocket as if that will help. That makes him chuckle and shake his head muttering about how cute I am.
There are a lot of people around when we get to the Queens Guard. We approach slowly and I look up at Edward.
"How do you think they keep from getting bored? It must be awful standing here all day," I say as I study one of the men. I turn towards Edward, "Unless... are they vampires?" I whisper. I see out of the corner of my eye one of the guards look at me which answers my question. "Whoa... huh. You guys are everywhere. Just hiding out in plain sight. Guess it makes sense, he has on that huge hat and is all covered up so you can't see skin."
Edward huffs, "You're too smart for your own good, baby."
I study the guard and notice that his eyes are also gold. Hmm. I wonder if the Queen is... no, she can't be. Can she?
Suddenly, music begins to play around us. I know it - Mariage D'Amour. It's a beautiful piece. I sigh and rest my head against Edward's shoulder. As I'm enjoying the music, I notice the guards begin to move. I didn't think anything of it until they begin to circle us. I startle and look up at Edward. He's looking down at me with his penetrating eyes. All the guards start to lower themselves onto one knee in front of me.
My heart is pounding all throughout my body and my mouth is dry as I turn towards Edward in what seems like slow motion. He's down on one knee and staring up at me. He tells me he's loved me his entire life and asks me to marry him. The ring is stunning: gold, long and oval with round diamonds surrounding it. It feels as delicate as it looks. It's perfect. It's mine.
I feel the tears streak down my face as I lurch forward and hug him.
He laughs, "Is that a yes?" He asks.
"Of course, you silly man! A million times yes!" I sob out.
"Oh my God! Esme, she said yes!" I hear a familiar voice shout in the crowd.
When I turn to look for the voice, I see my dad, mom, Phil and the Cullens standing there. My mom is crying and clutching both Charlie's and Phil's hands. I look at my dad's face and he smiles at me. I'm so happy I don't know how to contain all of it.
I turn back to Edward, "You did all this? Just to propose to me?" I question and the tears are still flowing.
He cups my heated cheek, "I want you to remember all these moments, even after you've turned, I want to know that I've given you the best life," He answers.
I shake my head in awe, "Baby, all I need is you to have the best life, everything else is just an added bonus."
My mom comes barreling towards us, "Oh my God! Bella! My baby's getting married!" She cries and pulls me into her arms.
"Mom, I'm so happy you're here! Were you in on this?" I ask her.
She pulls back and daps at her eyes with her tissue, "No, Phil asked me to go to England with him and I had no idea! I thought it was just going to be something baseball related!" She says at a million miles an hour.
I turn towards Phil and he shrugs; telling me that Edward planned the entire thing.
"Daddy... you came all the way to England just for this?" I ask Charlie.
His eyes are shiny and his cheeks are pink, "Just for this? Bella, it's not everyday that my baby girl gets proposed to. Of course I came all this way. I'd travel to the moon if I had to," He says with such emotion that it causes me to hug him tightly.
"I love you so much, daddy. Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my dad," I whisper to him.
He squeezes me, "Thank you for being my daughter," He replies.
This is a lot of emotions for the two of us and I have to keep rubbing my tear filled eyes.
"Did you know about this?" I question Charlie.
He chuckles, "Of course I did, Bella. Edward asked my permission to marry you and then he asked me to help him set up the trip to London. I know Edward will keep you safe and I know he'll be a good husband and give you a good life. I trust him with my baby girls heart," He says and nods at Edward.
Edward comes over to us and shakes Charlie's hand, "I will cherish her until the end of my life, Charlie," He swears.
"I know you will, Edward, but don't forget, I have guns and I do know how to make someone disappear," Charlie threatens playfully.
I laugh, stupidly happy, and pull the two most important men in my life into a hug with me smushed in the middle. Charlie goes to talk to Carlisle and Esme; leaving Edward and me alone.
"I can't believe I get everything I want, please, tell me I'm not dreaming," I mumble into Edward's chest.
He leans down to press his lips to my cheek gently, "You're not dreaming, my love, and if anyone deserves to get everything out of life, it's you."
I tilt my head up wanting his lips and he gives them readily. We kiss until my lips are sore and until my mother interrupts us.
"Let me see your ring, Bella!" She practically shots as she pulls my hand towards her. Cooing, she strokes my ring finger, "It's beautiful."
"It belonged to my late mother," Edward supplies for her.
"That makes it even more special! How wonderful!" Renee gasps.
I blink at Edward, "This was your moms? I'm honored to wear it."
"I knew you would love it, having a piece of me and my family," He says.
"You were right," I whisper back, still staring at my sparkling ring.
"Alright! Well, Phil and I are going to go grab some lunch! Charlie, do you want to come with us?" Renee asks loudly.
"Sure, I could eat," Charlie shrugs and hugs me one more time before following them.
"Congrats, guys, I'm so excited to help you start planning the wedding!" Alice chirps and hugs me tightly.
"You're going to be the best maid of honor," I tell her and watch as her eyes widen with excitement.
She clears her throat, "Well, we better go, we'll see you guys back at home, have a fun rest of your vacation," She tells us and dances away towards Jasper who nods at us.
Esme pulls me into her motherly arms, "I can't believe I get the honor of having another beautiful daughter enter this family, I've been so blessed in my long life," She brushes the hair out of my face and kisses my cheek.
"You don't know how much you've helped me, Esme, and I can't thank you enough for being a mother to me when I needed one the most," I tell her.
She smiles sweetly at me, "I will always be a mother to you whenever you need me to be, Bella."
Carlisle clears his throat and slaps Edward on the back, "Congratulations you two, I'm honored to have you join our family, Bella, you've always been a daughter to me and I can't thank you enough for bringing Edward back to us and making this family whole again."
I hug him tightly and close my eyes as he rubs my back soothingly.
"Thank you for being there for me, Carlisle, even when I was... not so nice."
"You're my family, Bella, I'll always be here for you."
Edward pulls me away, "Alright, guys, I really want to spend the rest of the evening with my fiancé," He says.
I blush; feeling the heat go down my body, "I don't know if I'll ever get tired of hearing that," I giggle.
"Let's go, fiancé, I have big plans for us tonight."
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