Hi guys, just a big heads up to everyone reading- you are all amazing and your reviews are so nice!
Please keep reviewing, I love knowing what you thinks going to happen next!
Well, enjoy- heres our confrontation!
"We were…drunk…and I…I…"
She gripped at herself as if trying to hold herself together. Frustrated, she let out a sigh and shook herself.
"You should punch me…I hurt him, I…abused him... he hates me" she nodded down to me catching my eye again for the second time tonight. "and its okay"
I could only stare hard on- in total shock.
"You should hate me…"
She thought that…
She thought that…
"No" I spoke at a much higher pitch than what I thought it would come out at. I lifted my face from her floor and sat up against the wall. I licked the blood from a back broken tooth and hissed at the headache Raph had left.
She turned to look to the floor nodding.
She thought that I hated her?
She didn't think I had raped her?
"No…it was me; it was my fault"
Her broken frame seemed to thaw and she turned to me with confused eyes. For a minute she seemed to watch me, then shame covered her features again as she looked away from me disappointed.
"Leo I pulled you into that shower" She said looking down at the floor, more tears laced there.
I stood up swiftly.
A new emotion seemed to fight the old one- confusion. And nothing else.
"but I stripped you!" I argued back
"I stripped you first!" she whined.
"I touch you first!"
She seemed to choke on an intake of breath in shock then continued to rant at me in shock.
"I pulled you down onto the sofa!"
"I pulled you into my lap!" I exclaimed
"No- I straddled your lap! There's a big difference!" her hands were now pointing at me accusingly. Her words rushed and fast.
I could feel eyes staring at us; bugging out as our family members watched us frozen. But this argument needed to continue. She couldn't believe that she was in the wrong. What made her think she was in the wrong? I had wanted all of it. I had used her name to beg for more from her…
"Wait…you think you raped me?" she asked with wide unsure eyes tears exaggerated her lash line making her eyes as big as saucers.
"Maybe not in the literal conventional sense but in some form of…of abuse-"
"No." she said again her shoulders dropping loose. The word came out so strong silencing my words.
A pregnant pause slipped over us
But confusion raked at me in the loudest way. I didn't understand; I should never have touched her- I shouldn't have let her touch me. She didn't want to truly touch me- it was all regretted. But here she was, denying it…
"I basically raped you! And I literally did! I should have stopped before…I... I mean- it was your first time doing anything like...and, you must have thought I was such a… god I never meant to go that far Leo! I swear…its just…you were…everything…I shouldn't have touched you, I should have known sober you wouldn't have… didn't ever want me to"
Breath whooshed out of me at an alarming rate as my eyes bugged. Did she really believe that I…
"You think I didn't want you to do that?! You think I'm mad at you for that?!"
Another pregnant pause.
Then she spoke a little more clearly.
"Of course…Its why you ran away so fast…because I had basically abused you, abused your trust- everything!"
She looked away again her eyes to the floor still alarmed and shaking her head quickly so that her hair quivered.
"No" I growled out just as she had done, hoping the word would hit her like it had hit me.
I moved closer to her, but she took a step back and gritted her teeth. Her arms crossed her chest protectively as she huffed and sighed a broken sound.
"Nory…how can you think like that? How can you even believe that I wouldn't want that? " I spoke to her softly, needing the words to spread around her and make her feel secure; make her understand it wasn't her fault. Her face lifted, her expression changing ever so slightly. Her confusion outweighing the pain now.
"But I wanted it too. More than you will ever know" she breathed out in the most honest voice I had ever heard. Her face picked up as she looked to me.
But then fell all too quickly again.
"B-but you looked …your face when you realised-"
"You looked at me first- you gasped when you woke up, flew forward out of my arms; because I thought you were ashamed of me!" I told her honestly "I was ashamed because I thought you didn't want me!"
"Same here!" she said in a whisper. A small silence passed over us then she looked down and crossed her eyebrows.
"B-but then you ran" she breathed as pain started creeping back in. I became frustrated; annoyed at how she could even assume I would feel that way about her.
"I ran because I couldn't believe what I had done to you; look at your body- look at all the marks and bruises and…and "again I huffed frustrated, looking to the sky and back down to her- her eyes had moved from the ground now to back at me unsure, an ounce of pain lifted from them.
I looked away from her- her eyes glued to me as I sighed disappointed in myself.
"I should have had the self control to say no-but not for the reasons you think" I shook my head at her as I caught her eyes back on me. I felt my words flow out from my mouth so quickly hurtling towards her to try and lift anymore pain she may have felt.
"I should have been able to stop myself from hurting you…from touching you when you were like that…in the state we were in- but god…when you…and…with…" I sighed. "I wanted all of it; everything you did was…you did nothing wrong. You didn't abuse me or hurt me. It was all me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for doing that when-" I told her shaking my head trying to make her see that it was all my end and not her.
"But you didn't do anything wrong! - you're not the only one who wanted more…you don't think I enjoyed that?" she interrupted; her voice stronger, sharper as we met each others gazes. I looked to her in a point blank expression.
"I'm a turtle. Most human girls wouldn't even think to-"
"I don't care- I've never cared about that" she said snapping firmly.
My face fell and began mirroring hers, now both hopeful, both curious and unsure.
Another heavily pregnant pause. This time it lasted forever.
We stood parallel with each other frozen as we read each others eyes.
Then it words spilled out of our mouths so quickly, jumbling together in relief and airiness.
"Oh god I'm so sorry for make you think-" she breathed shaking her head.
"No- Nory I am I should have never made you believe that-"
"I shouldn't have gapsed-"
"I shouldn't have ran-"
"I'm so sorry!"
We carried on repeating it to each other trying to get the words until we were saying them in together. Our words said in the same tone and the same attitude as each others voices.
"No I'm sorry!"
"No I'm sorry!"
"No I'm sorry!"
We fell back silent, our words that had moved in sync were no more and there was nothing else to say. I took a step towards her and she didn't move away this time.
I found my shoulders dropping in relief as my lips turned up slightly. Her eyes captured mine; hopeful and brighter as she mirrored my thimble invisible smile. A glistening of tears still there, but I could tell they weren't for the same reason.
Then we realised how un-alone we truly were.
I turned my head, and following my actions Nory did too- turning to look at my brothers and her cousin; who now all had blushed cheeks and wide set eyes, mouths open gaping at us intently.
I froze under their glare; I had completely forgotten about their presence.
They had heard everything.
I swallowed internally and remained composed, the blush on my cheeks far to gone as I felt my insides scream at my humiliation.
Leo froze too; silent to the shadows as he eyed his brothers. My heart hammered at him violently.
Mikey moved to say something, his face mischievously happy at the recent conversation, but Donnie caught him, seeming to understand it wasn't the time yet- putting his hand on his shoulder and spinning him.
"I'm making an executive decision as second in command to head back to the lair" he said quickly as he turned pulling Mikey and April with him walking strongly forward at a quick pace.
Raph turned to look at him in a crossed expression; seeming to forget the argument that had just passed.
"Who da fuck' says your second in command?!" he growled as he stomped behind them like a toddler.
Then it was just me and him.
Alone for the first time since our night together.
I couldn't keep up with my pounding heart rate dizziness seemed to set in as I looked to him instinctively. He looked down, his face unreadable as his lips remained parted just glowing down at me.
We stood for a minute unsure of what to do or say- just mulling over what we had said to each other, how much our emotions had danced between us these passed few days.
How exhausted I truly was.
We needed to talk; when, I wasn't sure, but we did- and everything needed to be said, everything that danced across our faces or eyes.
Everything needed to come tumbling out.
I twitched, suddenly feeling ever more nervous that usual.
"lets go home" he breathed to me evenly as I felt myself let go of the breath I had been unknowingly holding. I nodded feeling myself sucking at the air tightly breathing in quickly almost panting.
"okay" I whispered as we walked beside each other quietly, my eyes following the small crowd in front as they turned right and bundled over to the man whole.
Mikey swept April up into his arms and jumped.
I blushed heavily, forgetting how unnatural this seemed now.
Leo had done this with me countless times; they all had- but it was only now, it felt extremely strange to expect Leo to naturally do so. I swallowed blush evident on my face.
I turned towards him, almost feeling the hammering of his heart near me as we studied each other expressions.
We still had so much to talk about.
So much to discuss.
It wasn't over yet that was for sure. My lips started to move before I could fathom out what I wanted.
"I think I'll…m-maybe Raph could-"
"Yes absolutely whatever makes you feel-" He nodded strongly, this seemed to ease him slightly as his shoulders dropped with relief.
"its not that I don't want you to, I just think we should-"
He offered me the smallest half smirk he possibly could, and I felt my whole body explode.
My limbs were shaking, my heart violently rocking for him as I sighed internally; dreamily.
If I was unsure about loving him him before; I knew I was in deep now.
"North, I get it, its alright"
I swallowed feeling the dryness of my throat as I pushed my legs forward and called on Raph.
"Hey Raph- wait up!" I yelled as I stumbled over my feet towards him, ignoring the strongest desire to stick to Leo's side and never leave.
Raph turned to look at me as I tried to mumble up some sentence; he seemed to have it all sussed out before I could even explain as I was whipped up into his arms and we were falling instantly.
I tried to look behind for Leo- but Raph had moved too fast; usually he would have spun a joke off about me choosing him over Leonardo- but not today.
It didn't seem just right just yet.
Time I reminded my self strictly.
I just needed time. We both did.