A/N: I've been on a Detroit binge. I am completely in love with this game, Connor and Hank are my favourites, I did a playthrough the other day and ended up killing Hank, which resulted in my tears and my husband staring at me like I had issues. That led to this idea happening so I hope that you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Coping with Loss
"Hank!" the words spilled from his lips, and if he had had a heart, it would have stopped. The world around him moved in slow motion as Hank's eyes locked with his. Connor's hand reached out to him and his body trembled. Suddenly time sped up again and Hank's body dropped to the ground with a thud.
Connor's eyes snapped between the man who had shot Hank and Hank's trembling body. Years ago, he would have considered chasing the perp, before he had gotten to know Hank the thought would have tempted him, but it had been years since then. Years since he had become deviant, and in those years he and Hank had grown. Hank had changed and so had he.
His hand acted of its own accord and he pulled a gun out of his coat. It went off with a bang and the perp fell to the ground. Dropping his gun to the side he ran to Hank and collapsed to his knees at the older mans side.
"Hank! I'm getting help!" his ring rapidly blinked between yellow and red as he called for the police.
Hank offered Connor a weak smile. "You look after yourself son."
Connor felt his body shake and he pulled Hank closer to him. "Don't you talk like that Lieutenant!" he shook his head as a logical part of his processor scanned Hanks condition. "We are going to get you fixed up and then I'm buying you a drink- a double."
Hank let out a coughed chuckle. "Wonders of technology..." he smiled at Connor.
Connor, despite tears rolling down his face, felt a chuckle escape his lips. "Help is coming Hank." His voice shook.
Hank coughed and reached up, his hand touching Connor's shoulder, he squeezed appendage. "Connor, I've been 'round long enough to know when someone is going to go- just please, take care of yourself." He let out a pained grunt as he tugged Connor down to hug him. Connor let out a chocked sob and returned the embrace, he didn't care for the blood seeping onto his shirt- he would cover himself in blood if it meant saving Hank.
He heard the sound of sirens and pulled back to tell Hank that help had arrived. He may have been synthetic and some people debated the existence of emotion or a heart in Androids, but those people could get fucked as far as Connor was concerned- he could feel a heart, his heart, break as he felt Hank's body go still.
"No.. no Hank!" he cried. He clutched the body close to him and let out a sound that sounded like a sob.
Connor sat on the couch. His couch. Hanks couch. Their couch. The sound of Knights of the black death blared through the house. Their house. The death metal, while it was literally music to his ears, was also music to his ears. He needed the music. This was their music. Their songs. This was something that the two of them would do when they struggled with a case, had a bad day, or even when they had a good day. It was just what they did together. The aggressive music a balm for Hank's soul, and a connection to Connor's humanity- to Hank.
Connor's circle flashed yellow as memories of this room, and music came to him.
Before making breakfast for Hank, who was still unconscious from a long night before. Connor decided that it would be nice to have some music playing- something to have in the background. He flipped through Hank's records. He was tempted to play their go to music of the knights of the Black Death, but he felt like something different today. So, he ended up playing some jazz.
A smile twitched onto his face as the smooth sounds of a saxophone filled the room. He then went about making something for Hank- bacon and eggs, a staple. While he flipped the bacon he found himself humming to the music, something that weeks ago would have sent him into a frenzy of diagnostics.
"Jesus Christ Connor, what the fuck are you doing?" A grumbled groan came from the doorway.
Connor cracked an egg into the pan. "Good morning Hank!" his voice was bright. "I am making you some breakfast!"
Hank eyed him suspiciously. "…Why? It's not my birthday." He glanced around the room suspiciously. "You break something? Another window?" he continued to assess the room.
Connor turned off the heat and proceeded to pour the food onto a plate. He then set the food on the table. "You're hungover- I have conducted research and found that this is what people like when experiencing your affliction." He ducked his head as though embarrassed. "It's also a thank you, for letting me stay. I would have acquired you that burger you enjoy, however-"
Hank raised his hands to stop the rambling. "Alright, alright I get it." He sent Connor a look. "That doesn't explain why you're making breakfast at five thirty in the morning and blasting jazz." He gripped his head and swayed. "fuck I feel like there's a band stomping around my head."
Connor moved and turned the music down. He then went about making Hank coffee.
"Oh hell no!" Hank snapped, causing Connor to stop and stare at him with wide eyes. He waved his hands at Connor. "You aint here to make me breakfast- or to wait on me. I don't expect that from you!"
Connor paused and assessed why this would bother Hank, it took him a few moments before he had analysed the situation. "I am doing this because I want to. You are my friend."
Hank scratched his head awkwardly. "Yeah well.. don't do it all the time- I did this to myself. You did 'advise' me to cut down."
Connor felt himself smiling. "Alright Hank."
Hank looked over at the record player in the living room. "How about I take the food in there and I introduce you to some tunes?"
"I would like that very much." Connor walked into the room and sat on the floor. Sumo walked over to him and plopped himself into Connor's lap. Connor smiled and proceeded to run his fingers through the dog's fur. After a few moments of silently patting the dog, Connor looked up to see Hank watching him with a smile.
Hank shook his head. "Nothing." He then picked out a record and spent the rest of the morning introducing Connor to some of his old favourites.
Connor looked over at the stereo as the memory of the Hank and his music flashed before his eyes. Perhaps he would put on some jazz…
As he sat at his desk he looked over to Hanks. It had been a month since Hanks death and his desk remained the same. His mug was still in its spot. His photos still plastered across the desks divider. Connor's coin, which he had never returned, sat on the desk beside Hank's coffee mug. Connor knew that it was silly, but he could not bring himself to change the desk or take his coin back. Other members of the precinct had left the desk alone as well, a fact that Connor was grateful for.
He turned his eyes back to his own desk. A series of small dog statuettes were neatly arranged on it. A personal touch. He picked up a small urn and he frowned. First Sumo, now Hank. His hand trembled a little.
"Connor?" Connor's eyes shot up to warm brown of Detective Adrian Archer's. Adrian was a young detective who had joined the DPD a few months after the revolution.
"Yes, Adrian?" Connor replied.
The young man held out a figurine of a puppy to Connor. "I went out for Coffee."
Connor reached out and received the figure and nodded slowly in thanks. He noticed the coffee in Adrian's other hand. His scanners detected that it was a black with milk and three sugars. Hank's favourite. He looked back up at Adrian with glassy eyes.
Hank and Connor, who had been discussing details about their latest case, looked up to see a young man with short brown hair and bright brown eyes looking at them with a vibrant smile. The pale faced young man raised a hand in greeting. Connor noted the fresh uniform that he was wearing, an indicator that he was new to the job. Possibly his first day?
Hank leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. "Yes?"
"You're Lieutenant Anderson, and Mr. Connor, aren't you?"
Hank raised a brow and Conner answered. "Yes we are."
The young man's eyes widened and he held his hand out to Connor. "Mr. Connor it is… it's an honour to meet you!" when Connor took the offered hand, the man went about shaking it with vigour. "I've read so much on your case and everything that you did for the revolution and your work with Lieutenant Anderson and-"
"Hey!" Hank raised his hands. "Take a breath kid, calm down."
The 'kid' looked down, his cheeks red and he pulled on the edge of his jacket. "I.."
Connor looked down at his hand, which was still linked with the other mans. He felt something twitch in his system. "M-My name is Connor, what's yours?"
Connor could feel Hanks eyes on him, he was not sure why though.
The 'Kid' looked at Connor with a shy smile. "I'm Detective Adrian Archer, but you can call me Adrian. Today is my first day and I look forward to getting to know you- I'm sure that I can learn lots from you and Lieutenant Anderson." It was then that he seemed to realise that their hands were still linked. He pulled his back with an awkward smile.
Connor pulled his hand back and looked up at Adrian. "I am sure that you will be a valuable asset to the force."
Adrian's white teeth flashed as he smiled. "Thank you! Now, I was going out for coffee. Is there anything that I could get you guys?"
"Yeah, I'll take a coffee, three sugars." Hank said.
"I do not require anything, thank you." Connor answered.
When Adrian left Hank shot Connor a sly grin. "I think he likes you."
Conner looked back at Hank. "He seems quite nice. I will be glad to become friends with him."
Hank chuckled. "I think the kid has a little hero worship," his grin went sly. "Or a crush."
Connor felt something in his systems twitch at Hanks suggestion. "I don't see where you are getting that idea from. Nor do I see how it is relevant, Adrian was trying to be nice. Nothing else."
Some time later, when Adrian returned. He passed Hank a coffee before looking at Connor. "You said that you do not require anything. But I thought that that was not fair, so I brought you this instead." He held out his hand and presented Connor with a small dog statue.
Connor's eyes widened. "I… that is to say, thank you."
Adrian smiled. "I hope that you like it." He then left to give out coffee to other members of the DPD.
Hank took a sip of his drink, a smug look on his face. "Connor's got himself a boyfriend." He teased.
It had become something of a tradition from that point, whenever Adrian went out for coffee, he would bring something back, usually a trinket for Connor. And while Hank insisted that it was because he had a crush, Connor was just happy to have a friend who thought of him. A human who treated him as a person, a person who was kind to him- like Hank, but different. Adrian made him feel different.
Connor watched as Adrian placed the coffee down on Hanks desk. A sad smile on his face. Adrian's hands, Connor noted, shook lightly. Adrian then nodded to Connor, he did not say anything, but his actions were enough. Connor nodded gratefully. He was glad that no one had said anything to him about his work, or Hank. Fowler had offered him time off, which he had refused, and while Gavin was still an asshole, he at least had the decency to not talk to Connor.
Connor looked over at the coffee. He knew what he had to do.
Connor walked slowly through the cemetery. He stopped at two graves. One read 'Cole Anderson' the other belonged to;
"Hank." Connor said quietly. He looked at the coffee in his hand. "Adrian bought you another coffee." He placed the coffee beside the tombstone. This was not the first time he had brought a coffee, every time he came however the previous coffee was gone. Whether it was an animal, a homeless person or a caretaker, Connor did not know, nor did he really care.
"Hank I…" a piece of his programming told him that what he was doing was ridiculous, but he ignored it. "I'm trying… I really am… but I am lost…" he knelt down beside the grave, his eyes becoming wet. "I had thought about your death before… I thought that I would have had more time, I had things that I wanted to say to you." He looked down at his hands. "I am so alone…I don't know what to do with my life. I…" he looked away.
Connor reached for his gun. He pulled it out and looked at it as it rested in his hands, it seemed heavier than usual. "You once told me that you played Russian roulette." He looked up at the sky. The clouds were grey, it may rain soon. "I knew your reasons, but I never understood why you would attempt it. I do now." He hands tightened on the weapon. He raised it to his head and rested the barrel against his face. "I'm sorry Hank."
He pulled the trigger and everything went black….
"Connor what the fuck are you doing!?"
Connors eyes shot open. He was standing in a white, room? He looked around, it did not seem to be a room, there was no floor, no walls and no anything… it was just white. His ring flashed yellow and red as he tried to process what was happening. At the sound of footsteps, he turned, his eyes widened and he let out a strangled gasp as a fist collided with his face. Connor staggered back, his hand grasping his jaw. He looked for his attacker and his eyes widened when he saw who was standing before him.
"Hank!" he gasped, the expression on his face a mixture between horror and awe. His ring glowed yellow. "But you're…"
Hank glared at him. "This aint about me- you fucking shot yourself you idiot!" he moved to hit him again and Connor moved out of the way.
"Am I dead Hank?" Connor asked softly. Hank had once asked him what would happen if he died, this was not what Connor had thought would happen.
Hank sighed. "That's up to you Connor."
Conner tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"You fucked up your own suicide." Hank snapped. "The bullet missed. Whether you live or die is now up to you." Hank frowned and he eyed Connor sadly. "Connor, I don't want to be the reason that you died."
Connor tried to process what was happening. "Is this real? Or is this just something that my mind has imagined… am I dreaming?"
"Do androids dream? Never mind I don't want to fucking know." Hank looked at him sharply. "Connor did you seriously fucking miss me that much that you had to go and win at Russian roulette?"
Connor frowned and thought about what was happening. This had to be some kind of trick, some sort of illusion that his mind had created. He did a scan for an exit. When none was found he doubted that this was some sort of Cyberlife program. He looked at Hank, did it matter though? Whatever this was, it gave him an opportunity to speak to Hank again. Even if it was for a small amount of time.
"Hank.. I miss you." He said.
"I know Connor." He patted the androids arm gently. "I know son. But you need to go out and live."
"I don't know what to do without you." Connor looked away, shame filling him.
"Well shooting yourself in the fucking head is not something that you should be doing." He looked like he wanted to berate Connor some more but he decided against it. "You should be going out there and living."
Connor looked at him questioningly.
"Oh don't pull that fucking face, you look like a kicked puppy." Hand smacked his arm lightly. "Go out there, do things, you're already an amazing cop- but there's more to life, go out see things- see the world. Grow a garden- get a pet. Get a girlfriend." His lips twisted upwards slyly. "get a boyfriend- who cares? Live."
"Adrian is my friend." Connor said automatically, his usual response to Hanks tease.
"Ah! I never said Adrian." Hank teased, when Connor went to say something he continued. "It doesn't matter. What does is that you go out and do shit. And if after you do all of that and you still feel like coming to see me- then do it." His face suddenly went serious and he pulled Connor into a hug. "It's your choice what you do, go out and live, or don't. I've said my piece, I won't judge you for your choice."
Connor pressed his face into Hank's ugly shirt, his tears soaking into the material. "Hank.. I… you. You are a good father.. and friend." He felt Hank tighten the hug.
"Stay or go, you need to choose now Connor."
"There's so much that I want to say to you Hank."
Connor closed his eyes. A smile took his face. He made his decision.
A/N: and that's the end. I couldn't think of an ending that made me happy, I had so many different ending ideas. I may come back another time and write some of my endings, but for now it's finished. I hope that you enjoyed it!
Thanks for reading!