Leia poured Rey a stemming cup of Deychin tea. The girl in question sat rigidly on the plush couch. In the short time, she knew her, Leia found her to be filled with determination and strength. Yet, now it was apparent that she was nervous.
"What would you like to discuss Rey?"
"Um, well, firstly I wanted to know if Chewie told you anything about us going to Snoke's ship."
"He told me that you had a plan to bring an end the First Order. He was quite worried, thought you going on a suicide mission but that you had faith in the Force."
The Force seemed to enjoy torturing her at the moment.
"Well, now that Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader, I just want to know what he was like as a child. Before he joined the First Order."
Leia, leaned back, partly in shock and apprehension.
"I'm sorry" Rey quickly added. "On Star Killer base, when he tried to interrogate me, he got inside my mind, and I got inside his. There so much anger in him but Master Luke seemed so distressed. I think he still cared about him. And so I just wanted to know if he was always like that."
Leia took a deep breath, "my son was an awkward little boy with too big ears and two left feet." There was a shift in the older woman, as if she was a rubber band drawn too tight, and was finally being eased.
"He had trouble fitting in and making friends. He always believed he had to better than everyone, and work so hard to be so. I think our legacy, Luke's, Han's, mine, it was too much for him. I thought that by sending him away with Luke, he would finally find his place in the universe. I hoped he would be happy." Leia halted, looking into her cup as if she saw a destination too far from her reach. Rey tentatively leaned over and clasped the older woman strained hands. Leia gave the girl a soft smile and loosened her grip on her cup.
"It's common for force-sensitive beings to begin their Jedi training young. But looking back I can't help but think that was wrong. My Son, he… he just wanted to be with us. He wanted to be with his parents. The Jedi value peace above all else, and to that end, I think they would become detached from any emotion. Ben, he was so gentle, so soft, he was filled with so much love. I remember when I was pregnant, I could feel him through the force. He was like a band of light."
"You still love him," there was no condemnation in Rey's voice.
"Yes, even after everything that's happened, even after Han. I can't stop loving my son."
Rey felt to urge to confess, to tell her everything about the force bond, about Snoke's ship, about what was happening between them.
The atmosphere shifted around her. Kylo. She had to leave. Now.
"I'm really grateful that you shared that with me. I… I need to think."
"Of course, you can talk to me any time," Leia guided her back out, as she watched Rey leave she felt for a moment as if her son was here. Leia sighed, she was growing weary.
Rey returned to her private quarters, her back towards Kylo.
"Did you know she was there." He did. Leia, his mother. His mother who had the warmest hands, who was strong as a Destroyer, as gentle and a Velanie flower, and could quiet his anguish with a single touch.
"Dammit, say something!" Her voice was furious, she wanted to scream, to strike him down, to fall to her knees and cry at what they had become. Enemies, we are enemies.
"Does she even matter to you?" Yes. A weakness, just like you. Kylo remained silent but she could feel his pain vibrate through their bond.
"Why?" She asked in a broken whisper. "You asked me if it would have been so terrible to join you. But why didn't you join me? Why couldn't you leave it behind and choose us!"
"It's too late to try and recreate to past."
She did fall then. The tears she tried so hard to hold back flowed down her face. Kylo fell with her. He dragged her trembling body to his chest and enveloped her in a strong embrace. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
"We could have made our own future together," Rey cried hoarsely in desperation.
"I don't belong with a Resistance."
"I don't belong with the First Order."
They clasped each other. Every sob tore at Kylo's soul, he felt as if he was being rendered apart. He ran his hand through her brown locks. Holding her as if he could someone weld them together. Rey sobbed harder at his gentle ministrations. She wanted to curse him, but all she did was clutch at his robes.
When their connection ended Kylo could still feel the dampness of her tears on his neck.
Man I do not release chapters this quickly. I'm in a writing mood. I've been wanting to do a Star Wars fic for a while and so the writing keeps flowing.
When school starts again I have a feeling I won't be releasing chapters as quickly. Right now I'm stocking up on chapters so I don't leave you guys hanging for an extended time. I'm writing chapter 6 right now and I can't wait to show you guys chapter 5.
I don't know where this will be all headed but I plan on ending this before Episode IX is released.