"Matt! Where are you? I swear if your ginger ass left this house I'm going to maim you." Tord stomped through the house, both hands spread across the top of his bump where soft kicks patted against his hands. Watching two heads pop out from the top of the stairwell leading to the ginger's room in the attic, the brunette sighed before trudging up the stairwell.

"'Ello love how are you feeling?" Matt was found sitting on the bed next to another, the ginger stood to let him sit on the bed in his spot. The other person on the bed smiled, their freckled cheeks practically glowing. It disgusted him.

"I'm feeling grumpy and moody, your kid is a pain in my ass. And why is Tau here? Doesn't he have his own room to be in? Or better yet someone to tell he's going to be a dad? He's going to find out either way." If one were to say that Tord was in a bad mood they would only be half right. Tord wasn't what you would call a normal person, then again neither was Tau. You see both were originally one person, Tord to be exact. But in a failed experiment, the Norse scientist managed to split himself among two personalities. 'Tau' the sweeter and kinder half could be extremely protective of his friends and relatives, and if given the choice would rather protect an insect than kill it. 'Tord' on the other hand was in plain speech, a prick. He was constantly grumpy or pissed off by one thing or another, and if he couldn't get away from whatever it was that was bugging him he would more likely pull out a firearm (once literally). Tau smiled softly, the oversized cranberry colored sweater that was hanging off his left shoulder would've swallowed his petite frame whole had it not been for the round mound of flesh connected to him. Only as they sat side by side on the bed belonging to neither would one be able to notice that the kinder was larger, his middle sticking out only a few inches more than his other half.

"I needed help with getting dressed and have been up here since early this morning. And I find it difficult to maneuver around my room with everything in there, it's getting harder and harder to get around the house while avoiding the other two as much as it pains me to. I've expressed it at least once if not twice within the last week why I haven't told him… we weren't in our right minds and he would probably doubt everything." Tau's emotions changed within each new topic he glossed over, from indifferent and excited to strained patience and reaching sentimentality as he finished speaking. Adjusting how his sleeves were and attempting to pull the collar back over his shoulder, his other hand resting along the bottom of his bump. Matt looked between the two with a smile on his face before moving to the other side of the bed and kneeling behind Tord, both of his hands moving up the back of his communist boyfriend's shirt and rubbing along his spine. The usually grumpy male sighed softly before leaning back against Matt's chest. There were a few soft yawns over the time, the trio re-adjusting across the bed after a while. It was only a matter of hours before they were pulled into slumber, Tord sitting in Matt's lap while Tau rested his head against the ginger's shoulder.

It was roughly two in the morning before Tau woke up, deciding to move to his own room to spare Matt getting fussed at. Slowly and carefully, he stood from the bed and waddled to the stairway, grabbing both handrails as he stepped with caution. Wincing at a creak from the last step he gave a small sigh of relief as he saw the lights in the hallway and under the doors were off. Moving down the hall towards his room he barely noticed that he passed the door and was standing in the kitchen until he had nearly finished making himself a late night snack, neither did he notice that the lights in the living room were on. Cleaning up his prep mess, he stood by the counter as he ate his sandwich, his attention going to the stars and moon in the night sky that he could see through the kitchen window. He didn't hear the footsteps coming into the room nor the sound of another person swallowing fluids. He did feel another body pressed against his as he finished his sandwich, trying to look back and get away from the other at the same time. Glancing at the counter as he heard the empty bottle of Smirnoff being set down Tau felt lips on his neck and kicks to his ribs. Stiffening slightly, he felt hands run over his sides and hips before he tried to push the drunk away. Tau's emotions were clouding his judgement, his mind trying to get away from the other while his body wouldn't listen. Biting his lip hard to keep from making a noise he felt teeth against his collar, his sweater had slipped from his shoulder. Feeling something prod his back, he used his other hand to attempt to push the other away.

"T-Tom-please. I'm not feeling up to this right now." Turning to face Tom he grabbed the drunk Brit's hands in his own and gave a tired smile. He hated that he was lying but he was too scared to attempt to explain his heavy middle to the other. Well Tau wasn't really lying, just stretching the truth. His hormones made it so he really wanted this badly, but he didn't feel up to explaining everything. He feared that if he told the other that Tom would hate him so much more than he already does and that he would lose a close friend. Feeling a hand cup his cheek he was pulled into a light kiss, the taste of alcohol lingers on his lips only a moment after it ends. Giving a barely there smile knowing that if he doesn't lead Tom to his own room the other would probably pass out on either the floor or the couch. Taking the drunk's hand in his, Tau led the eyeless male to his room, helping the other into bed and tucking him in carefully. Sighing softly he put a single dosage of pain relievers onto Tom's bedside table and filled a cup with water for him before waddling from the room. Feeling shifting from his womb, he smiled softly as he made his way to his own room, laying down in his bed and letting his thoughts wander before falling asleep. ~~~~~

It was nearly twelve hours before a pained scream rang throughout the house, everyone glancing to the stairs leading to the attic where sobs in pain could be heard. The ginger ran up the stairs nearly seconds later before Edd and Tom heard the trap door close with a thud.

What the ginger was faced with was something he was hoping wouldn't happen for days to come. Quickly running over to his boyfriend's side, he helped the nearly hyperventilating male sit up at Tau's direction.

"Tord you need to calm down and breathe. Relax while your body gets ready to continue. You don't want to pass out and force us to surgically remove the baby do you?" Tau's words had Tord stuck still, his body freezing for a few moments before he took his first even breaths since his contractions started. Matt was running around the room as he followed Tau's directions, the ginger going in circles at times. Tord's fingers were clutching at the sheets, his groans in pain tilting up in pitch at the end. Tau checked his… impractical twin's entrance before going wide eyed. Fluids gushed out around his fingers as Tord's breathing picked up once again. Feeling his own infant kick in his womb, he directed Matt to comfort his laboring boyfriend.

"Matt try to keep him calm. Tord I want you to start on the next contraction okay? The baby says they're ready." Tau spoke softly as he rubbed his middle with one hand briefly before pulling his sleeves over his hands so he could catch the soon to be newborn. Glancing up for a second he saw Tord's face take on a dark shade of red as he pushed, it was plainly obvious that Matt may need his arm wrapped up once this is over. Moving back to his job, he smiled softly as he saw the tip of the smooth head coming through. Directing the other to lighten up a little, the job of getting the head out was taken over by Tord's body's natural actions. Catching the head in his hands carefully, Tau looked up at the duo with a smile on his face.

"Would you like to touch the head?" Receiving a nod, Tau helped guide two hands to the small head, both parents gasping in awe at feeling their child for the first time. Assisting with getting the rest of the child out, the kinder of the two personalities wrapped a squalling infant into a lavender blanket, her light hair being washed by a washcloth as she opened her bright blue eyes and cooed at her parents. Tau smiled at the scene as he cleaned up, rubbing at his heavy middle as he silently moved down the stairs, missing the bottom step on purpose before hiding in his room.

"Her name is Emma. Our beautiful baby girl." The next day both Tord and Matt came down the stairs, the little lavender bundle wiggling in her mum's arms and clutching his light red shirt. Tord looked softer than he's ever looked since the failed experiment, his eyes nearly glowing and never leaving his daughter's fragile form. Edd smiled before walking into the kitchen and leaving a note before the small group left the house.

Tau heard the front door shut, moving to stand from where he was sitting on his bed. Keeping silent as his stomach tightened up, he waited a few minutes before stepping out of his room. He was wearing a longer sweater, the sleeves falling past his fingers, and a pair of loose boxers. The sweater was almost like a dress in length, reaching just under where his boxers ended. Collecting things he knew he would need, he set everything down in the bathroom.

"Now to wait and try drawing my child out. It should be soon enough." Smiling as he rubbed his front, he slowly started to the kitchen to get a drink of water to calm his nerves. He was very excited to become a mum. Taking a sip from his glass, Tau nearly choked hearing the voice from behind him.

"Where did everyone else go? Uh… hey Tau you doing okay." This was not happening. There was no way in heck that Tom was standing behind him in daylight hours while he was heavily pregnant and in labor. Feeling a contraction start from near his tailbone and moving up his back, Tau put his glass on the kitchen counter and gripped the edge for a few moments, his knees buckling under him.

"I'm doing quite fine, just a little under the weather is all. I was just going to the bathroom to bathe in hopes that I'd feel a little better." He could feel his knees shaking under his weight, his heart had sped up as soon as the other had made himself known. Tau thought he was home alone! But not only was he not, but he was home alone with Tom, the man he had been avoiding for months now after finding out that he was pregnant and made up his mind to explain after the fact.

"Tau I don't believe you. You're barely standing! Here let me help you sit down." Feeling hands under his arms from the other Tau paled within an instant, a sharp white fire like pain shooting through him, his elbow flying back and managing to hit Tom in the jaw, the other falling onto the floor in shock and confusion. Tau was glad that his sweater was loose, the fabric hiding his contracting bump almost perfectly as he rushed from the room and into the bathroom, his glass being knocked onto the floor and shattering in his rush. Locking the bathroom door behind him, Tau felt the wood against his back as he slid down to the floor. His chest hurt, the fact that he just attacked his friend and the father of his child settling deep in his heart. It hurt so much, the emotional pain digging deeper and harder than the pain of his contractions or the pain from when he and Tord split to form two in the first place. Feeling banging on the door against his back Tau covered his face with his sweater covered hands, his emotional turmoil breaking through and creating violent sobs.

"Tau! Tau please. What's wrong? Please calm down and speak to me. I shouldn't have touched you after you told me not to touch you. I deserved being hit in the face. Just please tell me what's wrong… I haven't seen or spoken with you in months. I'm… sorry for whatever I did to make you hate me Tau…" There was a thump higher up on the door from where Tom was probably leaning back against it. Tau's silver eyes widened as Tom spoke through the door, tears falling faster than they were before. There was a few mumbled words that were heard through the door. The petite communist managed to turn around and move to his knees in record time, placing both hands palm out on the door, the left moving closer to the door knob.

"T-Tom I'm sorry. I don't hate you, I never have. I-I was scared that you would hate me if I told you t-that….." Breaking down once again it was hard to tell what emotion was causing the crying this time. His speech cut off as he groaned in pain, the contractions starting to come back into his feeling range.

"Tell me what Tau? I promise that I won't hate you. If it's something that I can help with or fix I'll stay with you until everything is alright. Just please let me in." Tau smiled softly to himself before letting his left hand unlock the door and turn the knob. Staying on his knees, he scooted back to let the door open fully, Tom watching him closely through each flinch he gave. Quickly crawling forward, Tom almost hit Tau's knee before moving back a little bit.

"Tau… am I allowed to…?" Trailing off as he watched the freckled light brunette in front of him nod slowly, Tom wrapped his arms around Tau's torso before bringing the shorter closer to him. Tau's eyes looked glossed over before he grabbed Tom's hand and places it over the fabric hiding his usually thin form. Hitting a spot with no give at all Tom's sockets widened a little. He wouldn't have noticed at all due to the larger sweater that was drowning his form.

"Are you…?" He saw a small nod before the body in his arms flinched harshly.

"T-Tommy I'm pregnant and the baby is coming. I-I was so scared to tell you." Fresh tears spilled down Tau's face, his silver eyes looking up into void like sockets. A soft gasp pierced the room as Tau nearly curled up on himself.

"W-what do you want to do? What do you want me to do? Shhh calm down and let's get your sweater off you so it doesn't get in the way or messed up." Tom pulled at the hem of the light red-violet dress length sweater and removed it from the body in his lap. Watching a heavily freckled arm gesture to the tub Tom nodded. Standing from the floor, Tom set Tau onto the toilet seat before removing his hoodie and turning on the water in the tub and making sure it was warm and not too hot. Turning away from the tub he moved to close the door in case everyone came home and lock it as well. Whipping around quickly at a half-scream and the sound of fluids hitting the floor he saw Tau gripping his belly tightly, his boxers soaked and a puddle had formed under him.

"T-Tommy the baby wants out now! It h-hurts so much-!" Feeling his soaked boxers being pulled off his body, Tau felt himself being helped into the warm water and the pain of his contractions ebbing away a little. Sighing softly he adjusted how he was positioned in the water before moving to lean back and wait. Feeling a hand stop him from laying back fully, Tau looked over to Tom with a questioning expression.

"W-why don't I get you something softer to lean back against so you're more comfortable. Then while you relax you can tell me how you've been." Nodding silently he watched Tom pull out a towel from the cabinet and fold it up before placing it behind his back. Sighing softly he reached his hand out to hold Tom's, squeezing softly before opening his mouth. Tau started from the beginning, explaining how he found out and why he chose to keep it all a secret. His story ended about an hour and a half later with him explaining the situation from a few nights previous before hissing in pain, his hand squeezing Tom's.

"Is the baby moving down? Shh I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere love." Feeling his hand being squeezed Back lightly, he nodded closing his eyes. His mind didn't register the last sentence due to the searing pain. Feeling his legs being lifted from the water and hooked over the side of the tub Tau let himself get a little more comfortable by laying back again. Sighing softly he gave a small smile to Tom before pushing lightly, the head beginning to move through him.

"J-just hold my hand please, I-I can do this." Moving his hand under the water to check himself, he gasped softly feeling the head on its way to a crown, giving a few light pushes before feeling the head form a bump at his nether regions. Keeping calm breaths as the contractions ran through him, Tau smiled as he felt the head coming out on its own. Catching the head in his hand he smiled softly at the weight, fully aware that he would be a mum within the next few minutes. Glancing over to Tom he moved to let go of the hand clutching his.


"Do you want to feel the head?" Receiving a nod he watched as Tom's other hand went under the somewhat murky water to feel his child's head. Watching a grin of pride come over the normally drunk man's face, Tau felt his mouth connect with another. Pushing while mid kiss, Tau made sure with certainty that he was in control of what was happening, the shoulders were out after a few short pushes, the torso and hips following seconds later. Using both hands to lift his infant, he hugged them close to his chest before patting their back carefully to dislodge any fluid. Hearing a soft coughing and the beginnings of a cry the small babe was moved to lay in their mum's arms.

"It's a girl! Welcome to the world buttercup!" The little girl whimpered softly against her mother's chest, Tau cooing softly to her.

"I'll go grab some scissors and a few blankets. I will be right back to take care of you and our little girl in a moment, love." Tau nodded before telling Tom to go into his room and grab some of what he had bought before he kept himself hidden in the house. The new mother looked down at his still whimpering daughter, she looked distressed by something.

"Mummy's got you kitten what's wrong? Your daddy went to get you some blankets and clothes. Shhh you're alright sweetie." Bouncing his daughter in his arms, he moved to pull his legs back into the tub before feeling a pressure keeping his thighs apart and his hips hurting. Changing how he was holding his daughter, he reached his hand down to see what was going on expecting it to just be the placenta coming out. It wasn't. His fingertips hit a hard and smooth surface that almost had him freaking out. Taking a deep breath, he sighed softly kissing his daughter's head gently. Pushing lightly he hissed in pain feeling the second head slip from him.

"Come on little one, why didn't you let mummy know you were there?" Cupping under the head, Tau worked on trying to stay silent while he was getting his second child out. The sound of the front door opening and laughter coming into the house made Tau freeze, one shoulder out of him and his daughter eating from him. Grabbing the towel from behind his shoulders, he pulled it over himself to cover up everything. Getting the second shoulder out of him, Tau saw everything go dark, his heart speeding up before he realized that someone must have thought the light was left on. Letting out a breath he felt the second baby slip out of him just as Tom pushed into the room. Smiling as the light was turned back on and the door was locked again he saw Tom place what was in his arms on the bathroom counter.

"Tommy. What starts with the letter T?" Grinning from ear to ear as he felt the second baby squirm around in the water between his legs. Tom gave him a confused look before pulling a out a pair of scissors to cut the cord.

"What? Uh That, two, there, tornado, tea...wait what are you saying Tau?" The freckled brunette laughed softly moving the second baby into his other arm under the towel.

"You didn't say it Tommy! The word was twins!" Tau let the other pull the now soaked towel off him. The gasp in shock at seeing two infants in the other's arms that Tau heard was not as much of a surprise as the second baby was. Tom made quick work of the umbilical cords and placentas before helping Tau clean up the twins and himself and getting everyone dressed. The new father picked up the mother of his children and quickly moved him into his bedroom and under the covers of his bed before going to clean up the bathroom.

"Tom what happened? There's a broken glass on the kitchen floor and you have a bruise on your jaw. Did someone break in?" Edd was cut off with a laugh from his roommate.

"Let's just say that I'm an idiot and deserved it, I'll explain later after I clean up." Not mentioning Tau, Tom swept up the broken cup before drying the floor and moving to the bathroom.

Feeling a hand shake his shoulder carefully, his eyes opened slowly, a smile gracing his lips as he felt the weight of his newborn children asleep on his stomach and covered in the blankets.

"It's good to see you awake sweetheart. Did you think of what to name them before you fell asleep?" There was a soft kiss left on his forehead before he nodded. Glancing down at his still sleeping children he spoke.

"I thought Arica was a good name for the girl. I can't think of anything for the boy though." Looking up at Tom from where he was sitting on the bed, Tau saw the other's expression change to show that he was thinking.

"What about Timothy?" Feeling both the infants stir from sleep, the newborns opened their eyes slowly, Arica showing a set of silver eyes with blue outlines and her brother having none. Both parents smiled. After both agreed on the name Tom helped Tau up off the bed and into a light blue sweater dress. Having a little difficulty with holding both squirmish infants, Tau watched as Tom left the room and came back to lead him out into the living room. Taking two steps into the room he smiled softly at the surprised expressions on the faces of the other three.


"It's twins. Arica and Timothy." Being helped into the chair, Tau smiled as Tord stood up and walked closer, Emma awake in his arms.

"So that's why you were bigger than me…"

"So Tau was pregnant too? Why didn't anyone say anything?" Tau laughed softly before speaking up.

"Edd, no offense but you can keep a secret just as well as Tommy can keep his alcohol. If I had told you, you would've told Tommy before I wanted or needed to…" Blushing lightly, Tau felt a kiss to the back of his jaw. Edd looked hurt by the statement but shrugged it off.

Everything went back to normal after all this, well as normal as it could get. Having three infants in the house was difficult, but they all figured out a way to keep everyone sane and when there was a way everyone played tricks on each other. The best inside joke between Tord, Tau and the kids. And let's just say, all three infants were confused about who their mum was by the end of all that.

4259 words [the longest]

This is dedicated to Preggo Sauce on AO3 and Tumblr. The description for both Tord and Tau are from them as well.

How's this for a 2 for 1 deal?


[Original title: Tord/2 + Matt + Tom = 7 without Edd]