{Lesson One: Don't be pregnant}

Babysitting wasn't in his job description. Not like he could say anything about it now, but he'd rather keep that out in the air.

"Pa Pul! Wook at me!" The nearly two year old light brunette almost shrieked, his light brown eyes shining behind long bangs. Why his other parent didn't let his hair get cut was beyond him. Glancing over to his step-son, he saw the toddler waddling over to him holding a toy plane that was almost as big as his head. He gave a small smile, hand moving over his drum-tight middle. He could feel the squirming of his baby push up against each wall trying to find a way into the conversation.

"Yeah buddy. You have a plane." He didn't know what the kid wanted as a response. Watching Aksel Hop in place, the two year old began running around the room. Laughing softly, Paul leaned back in his seat waiting for Aksel to tire himself out.

This continued for a few more hours, the two taking a snack break after a while. Hearing footsteps coming closer, Paul glanced back to the doorway. Feeling arms close up around him, the other laughed softly.

"How are you doing? Is Aksel being good?" Laughing softly, he watched the little boy playing with a box of blocks.

"He's not screaming his head off so that's good I guess. I'm doing fine, the baby fell asleep a while ago so they're not causing any trouble." Huffing a little in annoyance, Paul glanced back at Tord. "When will I be able to actually do something? Not saying that I don't love the kid to death, I'm just bored."

"This is just until the baby comes elskede. You'll be back out there once you feel up to it. Now I've got to get back to work. I'll see you both later." Feeling lips pressed to his temple Paul sighed softly. It was only a little while later when Aksel came back over, the toddler rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"What's wrong kiddo? Sleepy?" Chuckling softly he rubbed the toddler's head before seeing a small nod.

"I sweepy Pa Pul." With a little difficulty, he stood from his seat, took the little boy's hand and led him to his bed. Watching Aksel climb into his bed, Paul felt a small smile form on his face. Pulling the covers over the sleepy toddler, he turned the light out and shut the door behind himself. Leaning back against the door, he rubbed his middle softly feeling the baby squirm.

"Calm down in there it's rest time. Your older brother is sleeping." Walking across the room to the couch, he grabbed a few pillows as well as a large blanket before falling asleep on the couch.

{Lesson Two: Don't leave your charge unattended. }

The sound of stomping footsteps towards him helped to wake up his senses, the yelling toddler that threw himself at him was the force that almost had him jump in startled shock. The baby low in his gut was moving a lot. He groaned, his two children refusing to let him rest any longer.

"Hold on a second I need to get up." Paul huffed for a moment before sitting up and moving to stand from the couch. His back ached from sleeping on the couch, the action usually being done by Tord as of late.

"Pa Pul! Wadch!" Glancing up just in time he dashed forward and caught Aksel before he fell and got hurt. Landing on his knees roughly with the two-year-old in his arms, he flinched as he felt a pain shoot through his spine. Hoping it's not what he thinks it is, Paul let Aksel stand on his own two feet before getting off the floor.

"Kiddo you need to be more careful. If I didn't catch you, you would've gotten hurt and your mor would fuss at me again." Groaning softly as he felt the feet and hands of his little one press out on the walls protecting them, he rubbed the side of his heavy middle. He barely noticed how the light Brown eyes stared at him. Hearing a small gasp and clapping, Paul glanced down to see Aksel hug his leg before running into his bedroom. Shrugging it off thinking his son was going to take a nap again, he made his way to the bathroom. Taking one step into the room he felt fluids start running down his legs and hurried to stand in the shower so there would be less of a mess that he would need to clean up. Feeling a few more strong kicks as he waddled to the bedroom and changed his clothes, he sighed before shaking his head. He wouldn't bother Tord about this, the Norse leader was probably very busy anyway.

{Lesson Three: If something happens that could risk the safety of yourself or the child notify another person as soon as possible.

Lesson Four: Children are unpredictable.}

Making his way back into the playroom, he was stunned by what happened. The floor was cleared of toys, the cushions from the couch were on the floor and looked like they were positioned into the shape of a chair. There were smaller pillows and a few blankets that were keeping the structure from falling. Glancing over to the doorway of Aksel's room, he watched the toddler march into the room with more blankets in his arms. There was a blanket over his head as he walked closer to what he was building. Feeling another contraction run through him, he sighed softly rubbing his back. Watching Aksel jump in shock at seeing him, the two year old grinned brightly dropping the pillow he was holding and hopping over to Paul before grabbing his step-father's hand and pulling him over to the small structure.

"Swit! It a fwurt!" Taking a moment to try to understand what the little boy said, he gave a small smile and was going to decline if he hadn't seen the look of determination in Aksel's eyes. Letting the boy help him into the 'fort', he watched as Aksel continued to fix it up before crawling in and climbing into his lap.

"What's all this for Aksel? You actually cleaned up all your toys without being told to." Chuckling softly as Aksel shifted back and forth looking at the inside of his fort to make sure that it wouldn't fall on them, he reached forward to rub the little boy's hair. He was trying to distract himself from the pains from the contractions that ran through him.

"I wov oo Pa Pul! And I wov yu widdle broher!" Watching as the small brunette crawled closer, he felt two small hands being placed on his middle before watching as Aksel bent down and kissed where his little sibling was, a few kicks meeting the spot.

"We love you too Aksel. And what makes you think that you're getting a little brother?" Smiling softly, he watched as Aksel grinned, the little boy cuddling up to Paul's belly.

"Mummy said that I was getting a widdle brother."

"Of course he would. We don't know for a fact that you're going to have a baby brother kiddo. But we'll find out soon." Placing his hands over the ones on his bump, he smiled at his step-son. The contractions continued for a while longer, Aksel grabbing a few books and his building blocks to bring into the fort to play with. Paul would try to keep still as each pain grew closer together, trying to hide it from the toddler that there was something wrong. Feeling something shift, he noticed too late that the head was coming through him, his body going into autopilot. Watching as Aksel crawled over with a book, he fixed how he was sitting to let the boy sit on his leg.

"Pa Pul can yu wead me a story?" Being held the book he was surprised the toddler didn't hand him something like the communist manifesto. Opening the pages he glanced at the words before looking back to Aksel.

"Why don't you read it out loud to your little sibling? I'm sure they'll like to hear you read to them." Watching Aksel perk up, the boy nodded and took the book back opening it to the first page. Helping with a few of the words now and then, he felt the head fall into a full crown. Oh great, just what he needs. His son is sitting on his leg as his little sibling was coming out. Not wanting to scare the boy, he waited until the story was finished, the head would be noticeable behind his sweatpants very soon.

"Pa Pul! Let's go see mummy! His meebing ova!" Sighing softly he nodded and smiled. It would probably be much better to bother his lover while giving birth wouldn't it? Barely managing to get out of the fort, he felt the head slip free and push at his thighs. Walking slowly while holding Aksel's hand, the Dutchman kept his muscles tight, refusing to let the shoulders come until he knew that Aksel was away from him and there was no other persons in the area. Making it to his leader's office, they were both stopped by the guard.

"Name, Rank, and state your business." Ah rookie, of course. Huffing under his breath in annoyance, he stood up straighter.

"Paul Vork, second in command. This is Aksel Larsin-Vork, Red Leader's son. We are both here to see Red Leader." The soldier saluted before knocking on the door and entering. Muffled voices could be heard coming through the door. It was only a few minutes before the door opened once more and they were let inside, the guard going back to his post.

"How are my strong soldiers doing today? Have you been listening to what your papa says min lille soldat?" Tord lifted his son into his arms, bouncing the little boy lightly before kissing his forehead. Aksel nodded before pointing at Paul with a small frown.

"Pa Pul hurt mummy." Tord glanced over to him before putting his son back on the floor.

{Lesson Five: Children are very perceptive}

"Hey why don't you go find uncle Pat. I think he's in the cafeteria. I'll take care of papa's boo-boo okay?" Aksel nodded before running out of the room. Tord looked over as he stood up.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're in labor? I would've gotten Aksel out of the room sooner."

"I didn't want to interrupt you while you were in a meeting. Also I'm not in labor. I have the head in between my legs." He felt his pants and boxers being pulled down showing the head where he said it was. Watching his leader pull off his coat and hoodie, he watched as Tord wrapped the red fabric around the head. Feeling a hand rubbing his hip, he let his muscles relax. With gravity helping it was only a few pushes to get the shoulders out, the hips and legs coming out soon after. There was a soft cry following a bit of coughing, the newborn being wrapped up in the red hoodie.

"It's a little girl. A beautiful baby girl. Let's get you both cleaned up." Being handed the swaddled and crying baby girl, he felt his boxers and sweatpants being pulled up and an arm around his waist. Next thing he realized was that he was in the bathroom being wiped down and dressed in his night pants after the placenta was removed, his daughters cord was cut and she was clean in her diaper and onesie. She was bawling her eyes out from the chill in the tiled room. Holding her close, Paul felt her snuggle closer for warmth, her sobs turning into soft whimpers.

"Shhh. Mariëtte calm down. You're safe." Settling in the bed, he let his daughter lay on his chest, her little body instinctively looking for food. The second she started eating he heard a voice to his side.

"I'll go find Aksel so he can meet his little sister. I'm so proud of you min elskede." Feeling a kiss to his temple, Paul watched as Tord left the room. It wasn't long till the door opened again and three persons entered.

"Aksel meet your little sister, Mariëtte." The small horned boy stared at the little bundle, the girl's silver eyes looking up at him.

"I'm glad she didn't inherit those bricks you call eyebrows, Paul." Tord cackled loudly from where he was standing, Patryck chuckling softly as they both noticed the put out look on the new mother's face.

"Shut up, Pat."

"Mummy? Papa?" Tord and Paul both looked at their son wondering what the two year old could ask.

"Yeah Aksel? Something wrong?"

"Where do babehs come fwom?" All they could hear was Patryck laughing.

{Lesson Six: Children ask questions. There is no suggested way to deter them from wanting to know. I wish you all the luck.}

2184 words

This has been in the works for months. It is also connected to the one-shot Army 'Men'

Children are very cute. [Especially Aksel]

The very end was me just screwing around tbh.

Also Just so you know this was labeled as "Paul 1 [TordPaul because fuck you]" in my writing app

As a babysitter those lessons are bullshit but a little helpful.

And Aksel has the engineer knowledge of his mom [but he's better at keeping his structures from falling apart]

Mor - Mom [Norse]
Min lille soldat - My little soldier [Norse]

Mariëtte is a Dutch diminutive of Maria. [had the thought of her being called puppet when she's older and beating the Shit outta the person]


Requests can be made and submissions sent in on tumblr at hetalianGemini15 or nyocanada15