Naruto's Blessings

Summary: The night before the Academy Exam, Naruto meets a stranger who grants him a power or two. The kicker? Naruto is unaware of this! As a result, Naruto passes without shadow clones. But the multiverse will take notice of the newest Blessed, who is on a journey to power beyond belief. Harem, Based on Big Al's CYOAs among others, gradually OP and pervy but in an OP and pervy setting.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto.

Anyone who met Naruto would think he was a troublemaking, boisterous fool that was just a bit too full of himself at times; A young boy grinning with overconfidence rather than being outright arrogant. In retrospect, that confidence was admirable in the face of so many setbacks.

Any person with a shred of wisdom and enough insight into the boy knew that Naruto had to have more doubts than he let on. He had failed the Academy Exam, the very basics of being a ninja, twice already. Much longer and they wouldn't let him reapply. More to the point, it would set him farther and farther behind ninja his own age.

Yes, despite all his bravado, Naruto had his doubts and worries about his exam in the morning. Even Iruka treating him to Ramen couldn't change that. Thus, he decided to take a longer walk home than usual, hoping to clear his head enough to sleep instead of tossing and turning in his bed.

Now, Naruto knew most of Konoha like the back of his hand. Still, he wasn't too surprised that he had been lost in thought enough to make a wrong turn. But he was a bit weirded out that he managed to wander into a bar of all places and without even being stopped or asked for identification.

Blinking owlishly, he looked around to study the establishment. The whole place looked decent and clean, with plenty of room for a large supply of customers. It was about half full, though, he didn't recognize anyone offhandedly. While he didn't have many in the way of friends, certain people tend to stick out in a ninja village. Like the Inuzuka with their facial marks, the Hyuuga with their pupil-less eyes, the Nara often having their hair up in a manner that made him think of pineapples, the overdressed Aburame. Not to mention all the rather...eccentric ninjas belonging to small clans or no clan at all.

In fact, he couldn't spy a headband anywhere. Was this a civilian only place? Well, no shop owner in their right mind would deny service to the ninja population of a Hidden Ninja Village, but there were restaurants and such ninja just didn't visit as often as their civilian counterparts.

Still, even disregarding the village's general dislike of him, why wasn't he being thrown out, given he didn't have a headband and was definitely underage?

"Hey, kid, need a seat?"

Naruto was pulled out of his puzzlement, looking to the bar itself and spying a man at one of the stools that turned to face him and was leaning back on the bar. He was an athletic young man, short brunette hair with a bit of stubble on his jawline. He had an easy going smile and kind, purple eyes.

"I'm, um, sorry, I got a little lost," Naruto said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and hating how much like a little kid he must sound like.

"That's how most people find this place," the man assured, waving to the seat next to him. "Hey, Sal, get him a Jinglebeer."

The bartender, an older and slightly pudgy man with a short white beard and a bit of a hunchback, grumbled a bit as he went about making a drink. "I'm underage," Naruto informed flatly.

"Haha, nobody is the wrong age for a Jinglebeer," he assured undeterred.

Naruto, as a long time orphan, had long since developed a stranger danger sense that was hard to fool. Not the kind that saved him from being lied to, but the kind that told him what people a child should not be near or take things from. This guy, despite several outward warning signs, did not trigger this survival sense in the slightest.

So, Naruto grinned and took the offered seat. "Naruto Uzumaki," he greeted, upfront as usual.

"Just call me Archy," the former-stranger answered casually. "So, you're the prankster."

Rather than an accusation, it almost sounded like praise. "Hehe, yeah, that'd be me," Naruto answered with a bit of nervousness, hoping he hadn't pissed off someone here with a prank.

"I've seen a lot of strange things, but graffiti over a whole mountain in one morning? Impressive," he congratulated.

"Thanks, one of my better works," Naruto said with a puffed out chest. And it was. Did you know how hard it was to figure out when the gap was between the last of night time ANBU rotating out for more chunin-heavy watches in the day? The answer was very. He had saved it just for today as his graduating prank.

It was somewhat scary what Naruto did and knew to pull off his pranks, not that he or any others realized it…except maybe the Hokage and some ANBU.

"So, what's in this thing?" Naruto asked as the gruff bartender slid it to him.

"A watered down something between Bliss and the Meaning of Life," Archy joked with a snicker while Sal rolled his eyes.

Naruto shrugged and took a drink. His eyes went wide as his pupils dilated before downing the drink.

More than a few customers glanced at the newbie as he put the drink down, looking at nothing in disbelief. "That...was better than ramen," Naruto admitted as a slight buzz went through his brain, lifting his spirits and not intoxicating him in the slightest! He never imaged he'd utter such a blasphemous statement, but the truth was undeniable. Thankfully, it was merely a drink, so Ramen was still the FOOD of the Gods, just not their drink.

More than a few people snickered, even Sal, while Archy belly laughed for a few minutes. "Ohhh, that's a good one kid!" he said, turning around and patting the demon container on the back.

Naruto smiled, never recalling being welcome in a setting as warm and friendly as this. "Thanks, though...I don't have much money," he said in embarrassment.

"Eh, don't worry, drinks are on me," Archy promised with a hand wave. "So, Naru-boy, you trying to be one of those ninjas?" he inquired knowingly.

"Hehe, guess the pranks give it away a bit?" Naruto mused with a chuckle. Non-ninja, or non-ninja-aspiring, do not play pranks on his scale just for the fun of it. "Yeah, I got the final exam again tomorrow," he admitted, mentally wincing at his slip.

"Oh? Slipped up a time or two?" Archy guessed, completely without judgement.

"Something like that," Naruto answered, grumbling about the stupid clone jutsu.

Archy patted him on the head in a way of comfort.

Everyone in the bar pretended not to notice the glowing from Archy's hand as it impacted with the blond's skull, while Naruto just didn't see it.

"Don't worry, Kid. You know what they say. Third times the charm and everything comes in threes," Archy said philosophically. "It's pretty late though, so you should probably head home."

Naruto smiled, even more motivated and sure of himself by the pep talk than he was before. "Thanks, Archy! Hope I see you around when I'm a great ninja!" Naruto said he headed out, determined not only to pass tomorrow but come back here more often.

Archy and the bartender watched him leave in silence before Sal spoke. "You didn't even tell him what you gave him," he pointed out idly, his head cocked curiously.

"Of course not, it's more fun this way, for me and him," Archy answered with a grin. "Besides, he's Naruto Uzumaki. He'll be fine."

Next Day, Academy

"Naruto Uzumaki, please perform the Clone Jutsu," Iruka instructed as Naruto stood in the exam room.

'Okay, get it together Naruto, do or die time!' Naruto mentally prepared himself as he formed the seal and his chakra surged. 'Please work, please work, please wo-'


"Huh?" Naruto voiced in confusion, turning to see an exact duplicate of himself standing on one side of him, staring back in surprise as well. He turned and saw another at his other side.

Iruka blinked as he looked the clones over. They didn't just look passable, they looked surprisingly good. Clones had always been Naruto's worst subject, but some hard work and instincts must have kicked in. Pulling himself out of his surprise, he smiled at his student. "Congratulations, you pass Naruto. Please claim your Konoha Headband," he instructed.

Naruto shook his head out of his surprise as he dismissed his clones. "Ah, right, gotcha!" he acknowledged as he went up to the table and took it without really realizing it. It wasn't until he put it on his forehead did it REALLY sink in.

He was a fucking ninja now!

He grinned wide, a truly happy grin.

'Damn foxbrat. There goes that plan.'

"Huh?" Naruto said, turning to the other instructor. "You say something, Mizuki-Sensai?" he asked curiously.

"Hmm?" The chunin looked up from his board, before glancing at an equally confused Iruka who shrugged. Putting his attention back at his now-former student, he shook his head. "No? Anyway, I suppose congratulations are in order, Naruto. Third time's the charm, eh?" he offered good-naturedly.

Naruto accepted the playful jab. "Just don't go bald without me around, Mizuki-sensai. And don't let Iruka-Sensei be such a stick in the mud," he joked…

Only to get bonked on the head with a clipboard by the scarred chunin. "Just get back to class so we can get to the rest," he instructed with a sigh. 'Good job, Naruto.'

Naruto grinned at the compliment and took off. Once he was in the hall way, he started laughing in releif. "I fucking passed! Yes!"

Iruka sighed but decided to let the excited curse fly on the last day.

"Think we'll see him next year?" Mizuki whispered knowingly.

"Well, if I had to guess, he'd be with Sasuke Uchiha and probably Sakura Haruno," Iruka answered with a grimace. "Getting Naruto and Sasuke to work together would be an uphill battle, third teammate regardless."

'Oh well, I can wait another year,' Mizuki decided with a mental shrug.

Meanwhile, Naruto reentered the classroom with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"No way, you of all people actually pulled it off?" Kiba asked with a mocking laugh.

"Oh go hump something, Muttface!" Naruto shot back with a tick mark.

'Please don't fight...'

Naruto blinked, not sure who said that and it didn't look like anyone else heard it either. Maybe he was hearing things?

"Eh, the test was surprisingly easy for once," Naruto admitted with a perky grin as he took a seat next to Sakura.

"Oh stop trying to act cool like Sasuke, Idiot," Sakura berated with a glare. 'CHA! I bet he only passed on their pity!'

"Hey!" Naruto shot back, finding the insult particularly harsh, but his complaint came out as more of a whine since it was Sakura. "I'm not even acting! I don't know why, but it just clicked or something!"

"You sure it wasn't a fluke?" Ino teased with a smirk.

Naruto glared at his fellow blonde and did the hand seals. One poof of smoke later, there were four Narutos. One sitting in the chair, one crouched by the desk while sticking his tongue out at Ino, a third sitting on top of the desk with a smug look and the last standing on top of the desk with arms raised and hands throwing victory signs.

"...Okay, not bad," Ino begrudgingly admitted, flicking an eraser at the Naruto in the seat…which went right through him, just missed a surprised Sakura and was caught by Sasuke before it hit his head.

The class all stared in confusion. "Not bad indeed, Dobe," Sasuke admitted, catching everyone's attention as he raised an eyebrow at the Naruto sitting on the desk as the other three disappeared. "I almost didn't notice you change places in the smoke."

Naruto was of mixed feelings getting praise from Sasuke, but the lack of mocking made him grin at the last Uchiha. "Well, I was going to be the one on the desk, but I figured that'd take too long and make too much noise," Naruto answered sheepishly.

'Naruto is amazing.'

Naruto blinked. A girl's voice just said he was amazing. Was his ego getting a voice of its own?

He glanced around, seeing that class was no longer focusing on him, back in their own little worlds. He'd love to ask Sakura on a date, but she was busy doing the same to Sasuke. One of these days, he was going to ask a fangirl what they saw in Sasuke Uchiha.

Sitting back down into his chair, he propped up his feet on the table and pulled his protector over his eyes. Life was looking up for him.

End of Chapter

Okay, there we go, first chapter. Now, for all of you curious about the summary and setting, this fic is based on CYOAs. Not the book kind. These are more of a "Make a build and make a story out of that" kind of thing. You can find a lot of them on their reddits:

reddit r/makeyourchoice/

Big Al is one of my favorite CYOA Authors(and I've tried my hand at a few), so I based some fics on his stuff. Again, while Naruto will be OP and perverted, he'll inevitablly be around other OP beings and all of his friends and enemies have imilar potential to become OP. And most of Big Al's stuff is like Jiraiya's wet dream so, yeah.

I'll reveal the CYOA Chain for this fic overtime, but some of the build I'm making up as I go.

Hope you all enjoyed this and hope I introduced some of you to the wonders of CYOAs.