"My will creates your body, and your swords create my destiny."

"If you heed the Grail's call and obey my will and reason, then answer me."

"I hereby swear..."

"That I shall be all the good in the world."

"That I shall defeat all evil in the world."

"You seven heavens, clad in the three great words of power

"Come forth from the circle of binding..."

As Rin's chant neared completion, she raised her arm into the air before chanting the final line. But... Something changed. Rin had a sudden urge to speak a completely different aria. One that would change the outcome of the war forever.

"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" And like that, her fist fell as a shock wave erupted from the summoning circle.

Normally, one would refrain from breathing so heavily when a dust cloud erupted in a small and enclosed space. However, Rin was definitely not normal. She panted as the process of talking and making flashy gestures appeared to be quite taxing for her. "That was flawless!" She shouted as she stared at the three red ovals on her right hand. One oval on top of two other ovals. "I know I drew the most powerful card!"

... "Huh?" Rin hummed curiously. She turned her head left and then right and yet there was no servant in sight.


"Why?!" She cried as she stumbled up the stairs in a hurry. Reaching the door, she tried the knob only to find out that the door was broke. "The door's broken." Rin's muffled voice could be heard stating the obvious from behind the door. "Damn it!" Rin cried as she further broke the already broken door. knocking it down onto the ground and insulting it by standing on top of the fallen door carcass.

From there, she could see a single man standing in the middle of her wrecked lounge. His red shirt tucked into light brown cackies. A clip board was held in his arm as he looked toward the Tohsaka heir.

Rin's eyes narrowed as her newly summoned servant stared into her eyes. Wait, all the clocks in the house were an hour fast today... Which means it's now 1 AM. Not 2 AM? "I did it again!" Rin kicked the poor fallen door once more. "What's done is done." She spoke in disappointment as she turned away and rubbed her head with both hands, she fell kneeling on the door carcass. "Why did you give me that task, Father?"

Rin sighed before lowering her hands and turning to her servant. "Well? What are you supposed to be?" Her tone and expression bordering disgust.

"I'm Jake... from State Farm." The servant in red began scribbling onto the clipboard.

Rin stood up from her kneeling position. "Just to make sure..." She walked off of the door after probably realizing that it could see her panties. "You're my servant, right?"

Jake looked up from the clipboard. "Yes, Ma'am. And don't worry about the damage, you're insured."

What was wrong with her servant? Why was he wearing modern clothes and what was this thing about being insured?! Rin's blood began to boil. She had no need for insurance. Not that it would even help when she would already be killed off by the other masters who had most definitely gotten a better deal when summoning their servants than she did.
"Just... what?!"

Jake looked back up from his clipboard with concern in his eyes. "Is something wrong, Ma'am?"

Rin growled as she stomped her way out of the room.

After confirming that she wasn't around anymore, Jake walked to the door and knelt down. "Don't worry. We won't replace you." Jake's whisper soothed the door as he caressed it slowly, wiping off the Tohsaka heir's shoe prints.

AN: I found this masterpiece sitting in my flash drive and decided to post it. Before you decide to ban me, for using a real person in fanfiction, I must remind you that Jake is fictional and using him would be the equivalent of using any fictional character who was in a live action TV show.

Anyway. I might not write more, but I also might. I'm indecisive. Good bye.