Disclaimer: I owe not RWBY, the fanfiction idea, nor the inspiration. They belong to the proper owners of their royally bestowed creators.
"Look, I'm sorry about the clip I just showed you guys by accident. Just, trust me when I say Ozpin is not an imp working with Salem, okay?"
Within the period of time granted in their intermission, Bob roused down the rowdier bunch of the white seats. Seems that Bob's mitigation worked, but there was still an unrelenting atmosphere in the cinema full of guilt, embarrassment, and still underlying suspicion.
"*sigh* Well, I have something important to tell you anyway." The audience only transmitted a silent reply to the Bob with their eyes looking at him. "It seems that the 'dimensional rats' have done more damage than I hoped for.
They chewed down almost all of the clips that I had in store for all of you and they coincidentally made the timeline recovery... more time-consuming."
"How so?" Blake asked with inquisitive eyebrows.
"Hmm... how do I say this... well..." Bob hesitated to give an answer. He didn't want to give it so bluntly for the sake of mannerism, but he couldn't come up with a euphemism. "... they dumped shit all over it."
That surely broke the ice wall. The black syndicate were… amused by Bob's straightforward answer, Glynda and Winter were disgusted, and the rest gave a nice blend of 'eww', 'what', 'huh', and 'why'.
"B-Bob, I know better to not question the logic behind matters like that at this point," Weiss placed forward with a unique interest. "but, how?"
"Think of it like jamming gears inside a clock-work machine, Weiss. Essentially, that's an interpretation of how they slowed down the timeline recovery.
Which occurred because film isn't digestible and the rats didn't know that when they raided by film storage. Rats ate what they're not supposed to eat, stomach doesn't like it, and they needed a place to dump it.
Did that help?"
"I- I guess I can sit with that answer for now..." Weiss slumped back into her seat with regret
"Well, because of this 'incident', that means that you guys are stuck here for much longer, which is, as I said before, 'good news and bad news' for some.
Bad news for me, though, because that throws my entire schedule out of whack." Bob muttered angrily.
"If I may, how did this happen in the first place?" Winter asked. An unprecedented factor in a system should always be discussed, and something like 'dimensional rats' must be debriefed.
To his guilt, Bob chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head, tainted with a sheepish grin. "Ah, that would be my fault for not performing my monthly maintenance for the Dimensional Cinema."
"Pitiful," Salem thought. "Perhaps Bob may not be so bright."
"So, for emergency purposes, I got a dimension, that was among the few that survived, ready for viewing while I'll get replacements and rearrange my schedule."
"Bob, have you at least checked out this one?" Ren commented. He then made a circular motion around the white seats as he made a sounding argument. "I'm not sure we're ready for another mutiny."
"Heh. Don't worry. I did take a look at the one I'll be showing all of you soon. In-fact, and to warm you guys up, it's a comedy skit."
There a mix reaction in the crowd: for a few came some cheers, but for others gave dense groans hoping that it wouldn't be another one of 'those'.
"Please, if anything, tell me that it won't be like that clip with Roman acting... erratic." Glynda pleaded.
Sadly, Bob gave her a light chuckle as he shook his head. "Sorry. We're probably going to be staying high in the clouds for a while."
Bob dissipated away in a single snap and the cinema screen springs to life.
The Sale LeL bEaTlE (Roo Ree)
"Wh-what kind of title is this?!" Tyrian complained. As an advocate of literature, he was quite irritated by the abnormal title of the clip. "This is nonsense!"
A loud bellow of an answer came in response within the walls. "And as the saying goes, 'It takes utter nonsense to make something magical!'"
"Bob, that was a terrible quote, and one that never existed nor will." Weiss retorted in annoyance.
"Miss Schnee?" Tyrian asked.
Weiss, startled and shocked, hesitated to turn around. "Y-yes?"
His face was a mirage of generosity as a gesture of courtesy came out of his lips, though it was under restraint. "I can't believe I'm saying this… but thank you."
"U-um… sure…" Weiss replied suspiciously before she returned to the screen. "Well that was… unexpected of him."
"'Roo Ree'?" Ruby pouted in her mental space . "Well… what a way to make fun of my team's name…"
[Play Toontown Online Music – Elevator Music] (Play on Loop)
Starting off the clip normally, a brown fox-faunus was in an enormous green-tiled and wall-painted elevator, waiting for the ride to finally stop. Though, a few key functions such as the elevator buttons and the floor marker were missing.
"Where are the elevator buttons?" Blake thought. "How did he choose what floor he wanted to go to?"
The faunus itself was a male, about in his twenties, wearing a costume of a furry Grimm Beowolf. It was complete from the hands to the torso and all the way down to its feet.
He looked silly.
"Do they sell those costumes somewhere?" Ruby asked her sister as she was giggling at the fox-man.
"I think so, down that alleyway where we met Penny for the first in Vale… before the incident." Yang remorsed. Her voice droned out upon the mention of 'Vale'; she was getting a horrendous flashback of that day she lost her arm.
She quickly recovered and stopped her shaking left-arm.
PTSD still finds a way to get to you, even through a regain of past-losses, huh.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well… I was thinking about cosplaying and scarring dad with that suit." Seemed Ruby hasn't lost her touch since Beacon as she gave her sister a cheeky smile.
It didn't surprised Yang much as she chuckled to that thought, doing a prank on Tai…
When the elevator finally stopped, the double doors slid apart from each other and unlocked the meeting hall of the Grimm Underworld - the one Salem and her four servants utilize to convene. The only addition to the room was that it was raining Dust particles inside.
Speaking of Salem, she was sitting casually on her throne watching the fox-man appear from the elevator.
But, something was off about her.
She seemed to be wearing the head of Pumpkin Pete - a cute, non-formidable, and delightful mascot form of the cereal-box bunny.
She looked silly.
"What?" was the word of the day. Everyone who've at least seen Salem once had the greatest surprised look in the room. The others, however, were confused by the moral of the scene.
"W-what... am I-"Salem stuttered in her thought, too conflicted by the sheer idiocy and ill-competence in her alter-self. "...wearing?
Emerald and Mercury were snickering right under Salem's nose, something Cinder would normally condemn. She couldn't do it this time, however, as she was too stunned by the soft image.
Tyrian, Arthur, and Hazel, not out of their persona, were conflicted by this display of silliness as they stared on and gave each other glances with an open mouth.
As for Adam... he kept himself composed well, at least on the outside.
On the other hand, Qrow nearly choked on a swig of his liquor and Raven finally found something to be genuinely satisfied for.
"Father, why is that person wearing the head of Pumpkin Pete?" Penny asked with a curious look.
Ironwood didn't seem to hear her - he's too busy trying to even grasp if Salem would partially imitate Pumpkin Pete. Penny resumed her observation unsatisfied from being ignored.
[Play - Toontown Online Theme but it regrets existing]
"What is this music?!" Weiss cried, wincing at the horrible tune. Across from the cinema, Winter felt the need to mirror her sister's reaction as she covered her ears.
The horrid music, probably there for a dastardly comical effect, made everyone a fool to think that the clip was going to graduate into this 'humor' of Bob's.
While Tai was bawling all over and Glynda was too shook to move, the audience concluded one thing, if they could even think at this moment:
Things were going south from here like an 18-wheeler going down a steep hill.
The scene zoomed forward towards Salem, wearing Pumpkin Pete's head, until scene had her in a head-shot frame of reference.
A jagged text box appeared overhead Salem as letters rolled out onto it like a comic strip, followed by the sound of a feminine mumble.
"Hello!" Ruby erupted, trying to suppress her snickering. For a mysterious evil to be suddenly reduced to a rival of Zwei's puppy eyes, this could not go unmocked by Ruby's standards.
"i am Salem."
"I guess it's part of the joke to not even use basic English rules." Weiss commented as she buried her face into her hands.
"wtf you doing in my presence?"
"Or to speak in acronyms?" Blake added, but with a smug look instead.
The ice queen sighed as she gazed her eyes back onto the screen.
"you are no position to meet with moi."
"'Moi', huh," Emerald hurled. She was beginning to consider to hold herself together since her stomach was beginning to hurt. "How intimidating!"
"Yeah," Mercury nodded as he released a jubilant sigh from his lungs. He provided Em a quick glance of satisfaction - only to catch her in the act of punishment dished out by Cinder, who has given her a slap in the face.
"Ha!" he exclaimed, whom action earned a glare from Em. Stained with satisfaction, he wore that curve throughout the film despite the countermeasure.
"I will now proceed to make you sad."
"Ha ha! You're going to defeat me by making me sad?" Nora roared. "BWAHAHAHA!" Jaune and Ren seemed inclined to agree as they gave a light chuckle.
Ozpin had to admit; it was nice to see Salem in a less frightful state as a smile formed on his lips.
He took the time provided to look after his staffs: Oobleck and Port were laughing like brothers, and Glynda seemed she was finally enjoying herself.
Oh! About Salem…
"Curse you, Bob…" Salem cringed as she could hardly look at herself acting so… humane. To her, it was tarnishing her reputation and she distaste to be viewed this way once their timeline was repaired, especially among her agents.
All she could do now was blind herself from her imagery - out of curiosity, though, she took peaks at the screen before inevitably regretting it.
"ettack!" Salem announced as she pointed her finger right at the fox-faunus like a ruler of a kingdom.
"What a mess," Arthur groaned. To him, the clip was gibberish.
Hazel seemed to be in agreement as he nodded and continued to sit back with crossed arms, unamused.
[Pause - Toontown Online Theme but it regrets existing]
To Salem's mistake, there were no one chirped in the silence as the music paused.
[Resume - Toontown Online Theme but it regrets existing]
When the song resumed, the clip zoomed into Salem's derpy Pumpkin Pete face thrice before it was reset immediately to normal.
The cinema exploded with Tai leading the charge.
"crap, there are no small peasants here."
"Peasants?" Tyrian asked, furious at the inference of himself being looked as a pawn in Salem's game of chess. "I am incredibly outraged at such adjective. I AM NOT some pawn and I refuse to be titled as so!"
"When I need something down right, I'll -"
"Wait. Someone else already says that."
"you die now!"
Salem stood up from her throne, ready to face the fox-man, but she suddenly clipped through the floor as she did several circles around a pivot point on the floor.
In a cartoon-like manner, she ran, clipping through the table as well, towards the intruder.
"How magnificent that this 'Salem' is a fool like the rest," Tyrian commented dully as he glared down towards the members of Team RWBY and JNPR.
It isn't that hard to guess what standard Mr. Watts was referring to.
"Tyrian… I would rip your tail out of your carapace if it wasn't for that meddling host," Salem cursed, in her head thankfully.
But Salem halted immediately when the faunus sang a tune, out of predicament.
"What does the fox say?"
"don't you dare…"
"What is he-" Raven thought before music destroyed her line of thought and her stupefied expression.
[Play What Does The Fox Say? - Ylvis]
The room shook heavily as the faunus sang.
Lamely, Salem 'screamed' for mercy from the undeniably agitating singing.
Team RWBY and JNPR were cursed to laugh quite audibly at the screen. Yang could barely hold onto her consciousness and had to hang onto Blake's arm, who was tooting like a noisemaker.
Weiss struggled to hold her mannerisms as she gave out uncontrollable wheezes, and Ruby had fainted from overdosing the best medicine to sickness.
Dust that rained in the room ignited and exploded all around Salem as she flopped backwards into the dark consciousness.
It seemed the nonsense was over as the screen finally shut down. A sigh of relief among the people gave audible cause to relax, particularly for Salem - rising back into her seat.
To her, she was scarred for eternity thanks to the public viewing of this dimension. She had full reason to despise Bob now.
"How's that for a show, fellas?" Bob inquired as he reappeared towards the front of the theater.
"That was ama-" Ruby jubilantly responded, before she was quickly shut down by a sonorous blare.
"BOB! HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE REPUTATION OF MY MISTRESS!" Cinder richly stated with a fine tone of commandment.
"Wh-w-what?! Since when and how did we-"
"END THE CHAPTER NOW!"
'ello! I know this was a very obscure chapter since the inspiration was very remotely known, but I found it funny since it references to Toontown, a childhood game I loved back in the 2000s. Anyway...
Inspiration From: The Cherry Man Bertyl - Smokin'Foreman (Check him out. He's got really got memes if you're one of the Toontown remnants.)
I've got nothing else to say so I'm going to say, see'ya!
Cold: the air and water flowing
Hard: the land we call our home
Push to keep the dark from coming
Feel the weight of what we owe.