AN: So I've being trying (and mostly failing horrible) to create a fan fiction focused around the relatives of the Voyager crew for about three months now (as of the completion of this chapter it's more like six months). And it hasn't gone any were, I just keep on trying to progress past were I've become stuck but every time I've tried to progress I get bogged down in trying to correct mistakes, expand on things or cut the fat from the story.
But I feel the need to publish something anything, so in that spirit I have throw my hat into the 'missing scenes' genre of fan fiction that extremely popular, especially among my fellow Voyager fans.
So we come to this, my first attempt at this kind of fan fiction. A character inaction that I admit I've always wanted to see in relation to the aftermath of the Voyager fourth season episode 'the Omega Directive'.
I hope you all enjoy it. Also before anyone points out my spelling mistakes and poor gramma please note. I have no beta and I can only shift though everything with a so many times before I go nuts and dissolve into a pool of promotional protoplasm then proceed to spread over the world consuming all that is into myself, until there is no different or distinction between anyone or anything. This needless to say would be bad for all involved.
I do not own star trek, and even if I did I wouldn't know what to do with it other than shout at it. I own nothing save for my on delusions.
For what seemed like the hundredth time, Seven of Nine former Borg drone and current if relucent member of the wayward Star fleet vessel Voyager both lost in their own ways, found her eyes. Both blue and icily. Drawn once again to the small metal figure of a man that she had sort out on what could be conceded a whim but was far more than that. The figures hands and at least one of his legs nailed respectively to the out stretched arms and centre column of a crude wooden structure in the shape of a lower case t, which itself hung from a large likely iron nail that had being hammed at least half its length into the back wall of Captain Janeway's holo graphic recreation of one of her 'child hood idols', Leonardo da Vinci's, work shop. The figures head was bowed slightly to the left side of his gaunt torso and what seemed crude crown made of some form of thorny material encircled his scalp which was shorn and ragged. The expression on figures face did not seem to depict anger or hostility of any kind. At least none that she was able to detect rather the emotions that seemed to be depicted in the man's features were sorrow, regret and what seemed to be contemplation, perhaps even pity.
'A odd expression to have when one is facing a rather grisly end' Seven mused to herself as she released a slightly aggregated sigh as her analytical gaze having found nothing else of worthy of note, as it had done many times before. 'Have I begun to indulge in the human concept of killing time?' she wounded as she felt her left eye brow. A crown of fine golden hair that matched the coloration of her carefully managed French twist, that kept her troublesome locks of her hair contained with the aid of a series of pins, quirk upwards as she pondered. Her right eye a slivery metallic implant that had long ago replaced her natural eye brow. Unlike its natural counterpart the implant curved drown words, fallowing the curve of her eye socket before ending in a small sliver dot at the bottom of her right eye socket, remained still as the implant had being giving off slight but consistent 'shocks' for the better part of the last two minutes.
The 'shocks' were irritating the mussels surrounding her ocular implant, though not enough to be of issue. However she reframed from moving the implant to prevent the minor issue from escalating as she was confidence that the irritation would pass. It had taken time but she had grown, 'accustom' to such little confects between her human and Borg systems, at least enough to function and that was all that was required.
Even if such conflicts were a near constant source of frustration and often pain. However in this instance her confidence was rewarded as the 'shocks,' gradually subsided. The muscles surrounding her eye relaxed and she returned to pondering. How strange it was that she a being that so often found, herself perplexed by the crew proclivities towards wasting time and energy's on distractions and absurd attachments was now partaking in a similar activity. That perhaps could offer some expiration for the unease she felt as she had yet to grow completely comfortable with time to herself while performing no meaningful task.
The drive to maximise efficiency a by product of the Collective's all consuming perfectionism had made such concepts as 'time off' or 'down time' a difficult to wrap her mind around. Even now nearly a year after being freed from the hive mind of the Collective, it was almost impossible for her to rationalise the course of action she had taken. She had willing come to the holo deck, activated the Leonardo da Vinci's, work shop simulation and entered with the sole propose to stare at the idol depicting the end of another man even feather removed from her than Leonardo da Vinci was. Her Borg mentality railed against this but she had grown enough to ignore it, most of the time... at least enough to function and that was all that was required.
Thou in truth she doubted unease and her general dislike holo-programme's played any significance part in the conflict that felt like it crawled up her spin like some multi limbed insectoid that had found its way into her bio suit. As she'd begrudgingly admit compared to several, holo-programmes the Voyager's crew had persuaded her to engage in. That the Leonardo da Vinci's simulation did have some merit, offcourse other than programmes designed to assist her social graces
Indeed the fleeing of unease she was experiencing only seemed to increase the longer she ignored the 'elephant' in the room as some of her colleges would say. 'How anyone could ever ignore such a large life form seemed unlikely in the extreme, especially if in close enough proximity to share a room with the creature.' But that was likely the point of the metaphor and if one thing had become painful clear to her during her time among the crew of Voyager it was that individuals' of any race save perhaps Vulcan's, had a aggravating habit of working colourful metaphors into their explorations and speech patterns. Her human colleges in particular were especially prolific. To the point and it seemed her lot in life that she would be forever flummoxed by even the most mundane of conversations, lacking as she was in the same cultural reference points that many of her crewmember took for granted.
However it seemed that for as irritating as the human desire to create confusing metaphors was, this one at least had some merit. That her discomfit and unease stemmed more from the omega particle's destruction than any other sauce... Perhaps not even that but those final moments of the particle's existence which she had witnessed before being dragged away by Captain Janeway.
Within those brief final moments of omega's existence, it had all rushed back into her. The clarity of prepose, thousands of individual chaotic parts brought together and united to improve the whole as the whole improved them.
Everything the molecule had meant to the Borg and what the Collective had emulated long before they became aware of the molecules existence. Even now limited as she was something she tried to hold on to and understand, especially as an individual. Perfection! This time however it had being without the malice, cruelty and inhumanity she had come to associate with the Collective.
Try as she might to come to terms with what the Borg were what she had being and what they meant to her...and what they had done to her and what she inturn done to others. The universe on the other hand seemed content to throw 'curve balls'. Perhaps because in truth she had become comfortable for the lack of better term in her own certainty, now that certainty had being shattered as it had being shattered before and likely would be shattered again in the future.
She could see now, understand. That comfit she had taken from her certainty was not comfit at all but compliancy. She had seen all that and more so much more it all within those last thirteen point two seconds of omega's existence. It was aggravating and harmonious all at once, a collection of random combination of fluctuating power fields, gravity and harmonics resonances had archived what she and the Collective never could. For within that beefiest moment of time as Captain Janeway all but dragged her out of Cargo bay two, which had being bathed in the palest, blue light. The particle had looked at her, had known her. She had felt a peace she had not known since her time on Voyager. In that moment there had being no confect. No confusion or misunderstanding. She had even felt... something.
Unquantifiable and it had being taken from her!
Her brow creased as anger and resentment she had being attempting to suppress began to overwhelm her usually control as emotions bubbled up from inside her. Those two emotions being among the few she had no difficulty in recognising. As they alongside confusion and fear had being among the first she had ever being exposed to upon being served from the Collectives. Her chest tightened and she could feel her enhanced heart beet faster as her hands, both human and Borg clenched. Her breathing becoming rapid as she sent a mental command to her hands to unclench, her human hand fallowed the command instantly; her Borg took a second longer. 'It would be pointless to indulge in a emotional outburst' Seven thought as she initiated a breathing technique the doctor had taught her, to prevent being overwhelmed by emotions. Slowly her pulse returned to normal and the emotions that had threatened to overtake her began to subside.
Too further aid herself in the task of regaining control, she brought up her Borg hand up to where her nose met the rest of her face and gently squeezed a small section of skin between her thump and for finger. A few moments passed like that, with her breathing controlled, regulated and managed her heart fallowed suit and with those organs returning to normal parameters her wayward emotions while perhaps not completely subsiding out right began to recede into the back ground of her psyche, which was all that was required, for the moment.
Slowly Seven brought down her hand, the slivery vain like implants that covered her right hand...her Borg hand, gleamed in the dull light provided by the workshops large fire place and the small collection of candles that dotted the cluttered work shop in seemingly random locations. Their artificial flames had started to die down nearly half an hour ago as they had being programmed to do, in less either the user of the programme or the holo gram Leonardo Da Vinci himself intervened.
She spared the holo-gram which she'd deactivated upon her arrival so she might be alone and gather her thoughts, an idol thought as her gaze swept over the cluttered workshop. Despite her earlier desire for solitude, the silence of her one voice was all the more profound in the aftermath of the destruction of Omega.
Before Seven could truly contemplate reactivating the Da Vinci holo-gram, if only so she would no longer be alone. Her musings where interrupted by the distinct sound of someone knocking on the other side of the door that allowed entry into the holo deck. Undoubtedly it was the Captain wishing to speak with her. She couldn't help but wondered as to why the Captain was knocking as it was unusually for Captain Janeway to waste time on such pleasantries. 'Perhaps the Captain has relented in her desire to delete all the information Voyager had acquired pertaining to omega!' Seven thought. The idea of the captain seeing, reason and allowing her to study the information they had gathered on the molecule quickly pushed all other thoughts to the side. Causing her to say "Enter" with far more enthusiasm than she normal reserved for such a simple decollation. She turned to greet the captain however, any greeting died on her lips.
Seven saw that it was not Captain Janeway whom entered through the open door and into the programme, rather it was Commander Chakotay. His tall, broad frame cast a long shadow as he stood silhouetted in the door frame as the bright hall wall lights streamed in around him creating a striking contrast between the gloom of the workshop and the outside. But if she knew anything about Voyager's second in command, it was that he was a man of contrasts and conflicts.
"Seven" Chakotay said as way of greeting as he entered into the Da Vinci work shop simulation fully, the automatic doors closing behind him with a slight hiss before disappearing as the holo deck programme paved over its broken illusion, replacing the door way with age worn wood panelling. He gave the chaotic work shop a casual sweep as he walked feather into to the room. Tables, chairs and other kinds of furniture of every size and description were scatted around the work shop, with seemingly little in the way of forethought as entire sets of furniture were split up and placed around the workshop with reckless abandon. If he didn't know any better he would have sworn that the holo-graphic Leonardo radically changed the layout of his workshop every time the programme was activated.
Chakotay was certain that a large table made of vanished dark wood had being at the centre of the room when he had entered into this programme, less than a week ago. Rather than an example of one of Leonardo's flying machine's. As he recalled a number of landscape painting Kathryn had being working on had being placed on top of that table as they had being the focus of display. Now though he could see neither hide nor hair off the painting but he was able to pick out the table from amongst the clutter. It had being pushed up against the southern wall. The table was had now become home to a pile of mouldering books and scrolls written in a dozen langrages.
Similar scene's were repeated across the work shop, tables, chairs and shelfs each bore the weight of anything and everything from famous painting to failed inventions to other odds and ends, ranging from the mundane and day to day objects to the strange and outlandish. The whole work shop was a testament to disorder a refuge from organisation and efficiency. It was the last place most would think Seven of Nine would find any value in and yet this was not the first time Chakotay had found her with this place and if truth be told she didn't seem all that, out of place.
Especially as the dull amber light provided by the flickering fire place and a collection of candles that where scatted around the workshop, washed over Seven's tall statuesque form. If Chakotay hadn't known better he may have mistaken her for one of Leonardo's models or statures, though the form fitting dark red bio suit and heeled boots, she wore today wouldn't likely have being found on either. Not that he doubted that Leonardo would have minded, nor did he doubt that the Holo gram would have attempted to talk Seven into modelling for him. Perhaps the holo-gram had even succeeded in that goal as if he wasn't mistaken a few of the more recent paintings that were placed around the room did resemble the former drone.
Though how he had a closer look at a few, Chakotay doubted that the, bombastic Leonardo was responsible. As whoever had made them even thought to include, the implant that served as her right eyebrow and the small half star burst implant that sprouted from the pale skin of lower half of the left side of her face near her ear. He'd never really had much of an eye for art, something that had being a bit of a sticking point between himself, the Doctor, Kathryn and a handful of past girlfriends. Though adamantly, 'They weren't half bad' Chakotay thought to himself.
"These must be new, I don't think I've seen them before" he commented as he pointed to a painting that had caught his eye, which stood among three others depicting the former drone. Two were head prorates one focusing on the right side of her face the other the left, the third was of Seven wearing a body length renaissance stile dark red dress with white highlights and stitching it was a little perplexing that a style of dress that had died century's before either he or the former drone were borne, was one hundred times more modest and flattering than her usual garb. Even with the dress's V shaped neckline that while not plunging gave a subtle hint to Seven's bosom. Chakotay shook his head chiding himself for his wondering eye. He shifted his gaze way from the full body painting to the fourth and final painting which had yet to be completed. This one was obviously inspired by the Mona Lisa, expect that Seven had taken the place of the original subject. "Did the Doctor or Kathryn, convince you to model for them?" Chakotay asked unable to keep a slight mirthful grin from his lips as he imagine either of the former drones sotto mentors trying to convince Seven to stand still long enough for them to start painting.
Seven spared the collection a brief glare. "They are..." she admitted at length. "The Doctor has until recently being quite taken with painting since he had to take refuge with in this programme when the aliens. Who were experimenting on the crew several months ago, tried to erase his programme. As to why he has chosen me to be his subject I cannot say Commander but I assure you I have not taken up modelling" she told him curtly as she overcame her surprise at the Chakotay's sudden arrival.
Chakotay grimaced as he pushed the memory of the alien experiments to the back of his mind. Not the easiest task as he had being aged to his early eighty's during the climax of the strange encounter. "Seven you know if the Doctor doing this kind of thing! Makes you unconfutable, you could ask him to stop" he told her concerned, his grimace turning into a full frown upon hearing her exploration as he heard a note of aggregation in her voice.
"That won't be necessary Commander. The Doctor has already proceeded to go back to practicing opera as he claims that painting is not as engaging. He simply has not deleted or stored these paintings as of yet" Seven told him evenly, as she did not wish for the slight discomfit she found in being the Doctors muse for his art work to negatively affect the commander's view of the Doctor. Despite being relatively new to the social dynamics of the Voyager crew and her 'Mostly futile' attempts. Too remain as divorced from the confusing interpersonal relationships of the crew had forged beyond what was necessary to complete her work with minimum interruption. She had intimately aware of the antagonism between Commander Chakotay and the Doctor and she had no wish for her own irrelevant issues to threaten the unity of Voyager.
"Well if you sure it doesn't bother you?" Chakotay inquired, as he pushed down the desire to inform Seven that she didn't need to simple let go of a situation that had at some level left the former drone irritated at the Doctors behaviour. That was telling in itself considering how close the two were. Not that he believed the Doctor would do or had done anything untoward but the holo-gram had a history of possessiveness and that was only one of his privet concerns'. He had seen enough of the interactions between Seven, the Doctor and Kathryn to know their relationships weren't as harmonises as they liked to let on.
It didn't help that both of the former drones mentors implemented varuses level's of shock prodding in order to move the Seven away from her roots and towards humanity. 'And today's would have being one hell of a shock' Chakotay thought grimly. He had to consider the possibility that he miss read the former drone's mood and his mind was simply allowing the fallout of today to colour his view of a situation, he had only learned now had being happen under everyone's noises. A situation that by the sound of it, Seven had already dealt with or the Doctor had come to his sense's.
He would put his credits on the former rather than the latter. However despite Seven's assurances he made a mental note, to have a talk with the Doctor if only to insure that the matter was settled. "Anyway I didn't come here to discuss the Doctors triumphant return to opera. Which I have no doubt...he intends to share with us too soon enough?" he asked with a slight chuckle as he saw Seven's pale pink lips twitch upwards, in something like a amused smirk. Though she didn't quite have the expression down pat yet though her ability to smirk had gotten better in recent months. However her sky blue eyes took on an all too familiar knowing gleam.
The commander's humour did a great deal to relax her agitated emotions, which was no doubt his intention. "Good, I am certain that you wouldn't want to know when the Doctor plans to as you say. 'Treat the crew' too the Bolin epic the tragedy's of Vorscak. All three hours of it?" Seven queried as her smirk morphed into a small be genuine smile.
Chaotay returned her smile with equall force, though he doubted the former drone was aware that she was smiling, he was just glad that Seven had reconsidered his humour and instead of ignoring it she and played in to it. He put a hand to his chest and affected a facetiously offended air "Crewman, are you implying that I would attempt to use your for-knowledge to make myself unavailable for the Doctors return concert?" Chakotay asked quite pleased with himself that he had gotten the former drone to smile so genuinely. 'I never knew her face could light up like that...' he mused, as his dark eyes drank in the rare sight of amusement and mirth, over run Seven's normal stoic reserve. The dull amber light of the quietly crackling fire place had already done a great deal to soften her contrasting features as light and shadow danced across the canvas of her alabaster skin, the former almost making it almost gleam. Her sky blue eyes didn't seem so cold and distant now when they were sparkling with restrained humour; her cheeks had flushed a bright pink, her lips pulled upwards into a smile that reached her eyes, both human and Borg...
A chill ran down his spine as for the briefest moment he had almost forgotten about the cruel metal scars that anchored to her flesh like barnacles to a ship bow. For a moment he could almost forget that for the better part of a year he had avoided her and how he had struggled with himself to come see her. How he had thought Seven was only moments away from betraying them all, he felt shame as he recalled how much he had railed against her inclusion into the crew. He had being conceived that Seven would never be anything more than Borg. That no matter how Kathryn and the Doctor dressed her up as. Or the handful of others that reached over the divide the former drone made around herself, whom would profess to her good spirit. For the longest time he had being certain that Seven's inhumanity would tell in the end.
However as surely as waves would erode a beach, so to his certainty had to being eroded. Little by little he had gotten more comfortable around her, more and more his attitude shifted. It had being a quite, subtle change. Now he couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't the inhuman one, how could he continue to maintain keeping his distance after moments like this? His face grew grim as the rare moment passed him by and Seven proved observant as she had always had being.
Seven's smile faulted and failed her pail lips pressed together into a thin line, the pinkish flush that had coloured her checks washed away. "Good commander" She stated coolly as she took a step back from Chakotay as she had unknowing crept closer to him as they exchanged humours banter. Not that she begrudged the commander's company nor their banter both had served to break the mental lock that her confusion and conflict had created. Chakotay had simply seen her distress and sought a way to disperse it. For which she was grateful for, the commanders personable and unobtrusive approach to addressing the crew's emotional states was one of the Chakotay's more admiral qualities which he had many. "Did you wish to use the holo deck? Or are you here on behalf of the Captain? Has she elected not to address me herself?" Seven queried perhaps more sharply than she indented as she pushed the admiration she had for the commanders skills to the back of her mind, they were a consideration for later.
Chakotay couldn't quite stop his brow from caressing "Couldn't I just want to see how you were doing?" Chakotay shot back echoing her tone, as he briefly crossed his hands over his chest before uncrossing them as Seven's comment caught him wrong footed. "Today was a bit of a trial for you wasn't it?" he stated more than asked already seeing the waring emotions play beneath Seven's attempts to maintain her usually cold expression as his own statement found its mark. He immediate regretted playing into her passive aggressive attitude as she visible flinched. He sighed and ran a hand through his short black hair, "I'm sorry Seven that wasn't what I meant to say..." he grumbled. Seven had never made it easy for people to approach her or wish to. He knew that she had every right to be cross, if Kathryn had orders from star fleet to destroy something that he or his people held in as high regard as Seven clearly held the omega particle. He'd be where Seven was now, hell he be a lot less calm about it.
"I am also sorry Commander I fear my emotions are, comprising my objectivity. It is the Captain's pro..." Seven trailed of as Chakotay closed the distance between them and gently rested a comforting hand on upper arm of her right arm. Weather the Commander realised that was her Borg arm. The original limb had being removed a lifetime ago during her initial assimilation. Feather Chakotay simply didn't care or he failed to realise. Was at the moment a mute point as she saw herself reflected in his dark eyes which due to the low light provided by the failing fireplace had almost turned into pulls of reflective ebony blackness.
His attempt at gentle reassurance though a steadying hand, had made the former drone nearly jump out of her skin, almost as if touch was a completely alien sensation to the young women. "Seven...please listen to me" he asked keeping his voice even, steady and quite so as to not spook her anther further. While trying to push down the implications, Seven's aversion to physical contact brought forth. "You have every right to be cross at Kathryn, myself or anyone else after today's events. We steam rolled right over something that was very impotent to you. And for that I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I snapped at you." Chakotay said tacking his hand away from her arm slowly as he tried to process whatever he saw and weather he had seen it at all. "It wasn't right..."
Seven slowly nodded. "I understand Commander." She said softly taking a step back as recovered form Chakotay's sudden intensity and close proximity.
Chakotay pushed a nervous hand through his sort black air again, "Good, Good" he strutted swallowing a lump that formed in his throat. "Look Seven, I wanted you to know that I understand why you're upset. I know it's not a one to one comparison here..." he said with a long slightly aggregated sigh "If I was forced to watch or even aid in the destruction of something that allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of my faith...then I would more than a little angry myself...and I'm sorry I didn't help more"
"Commander...I..." Seven tried to speak but she found it uneasily difficult to form words of appreciation. Especially as guilt crawled under her skin, she felt ashamed by her the comparison she made between Omega and Chakotay's people's spirits. "Thank you for understanding. And you attempts to speak to the Captain on my behalf, in regards to safe guarding the molecule...it...is appreciated." She told him her head bowed in appreciation.
Chakotay grimaced at the praise Seven was laying on him. It seemed to him that the former drone was under the impression that he had fought tooth and nail to allow her to study and stabilize Omega. When all he had done was, tell Kathryn of Seven's findings and there was a possibility to maintain Omega. He had even agreed with the Captain that it was too dangerous, at least on principle. "I don't deserve that much praise Seven..." he told her solemnly. "I couldn't even convince her that she didn't need to delete all our findings..." Chakotay admitted.
At hear that her eyes widened and her head jutted upward "I'm sorry...I fear you may have wasted your time Commander. It is unlikely in the extreme that the Captain would not elect to fallow Star fleet protocol and deleted the information we gathered" She stated "Even after the danger had past...but still it is ...what is the human phrase? A sour pill to shallow" Seven said with a belated sigh.
"Bitter pill" Chakotay corrected gently "Maybe but I don't think I wasted my time..."
"How so?" Seven asked her human eye brow quirked upwards.
He couldn't the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth as he saw Seven's enthusiasm reignite. "You forget that I've know Kathryn a long time now and I know how much the rules mean to her. But what she doesn't know won't hurt her" he said as he pulled out a hand sized hard data drive from the inside pocket of his uniform jacket. He couldn't help but smile as Seven's eyes when wide as he handed the device to her. "I know it's not much but, but this is everything we gathered on Omega..."
"I...I do not what to say..." Seven sputtered excitedly as she reached out for the device. "...Thank you commander...but wont the Captain punish you for this?"
"I might not be as good with computers as you Seven, but I know how to hide my tracks and as long as this stays between us...she'll never know" Chakotay told her an easy grin pilling at his lips, he'd never seen Seven this excited and grateful before, it was a nice change and one he wouldn't mind seeing more off. "And ...Who knows maybe one day when we get back to earth. You can convince Star fleet high command that this is worthwhile line research."
"That may be a possibility" she said with a slight sceptical tone. The chances of Voyager returning to Star Fleet interact were remote to say the lease. However they were an almost certainty compared to any chance she would have to be able to convince the leader ship of star fleet that Omega should not be destroyed at all costs. She elected not to voice her doubts. "...but in the mean time I will do as you say and...Keep this between us."
"Good... well I leave you to it, though I suspect you'll be seeing Kathryn before too long, so you should probably hide that data drive somewhere in here until she leaves" Chakotay told her as he turned to leave.
"Yes, that would likely for the best" she agreed quietly. "Commander wait" Seven called out as Chakotay nearly reached the holo-deck door which simmered into existence upon sensing his approach. "I...I wish to apologise to you..."
He turned to face her "Seven I already told you have nothing to apologise for..." he tried to tell her but could see form her stern but reluctant expression that filled her face, that his attempt at placation would find the former drone unreceptive. "OK what do you think you did, that's so wrong that you need to apologise for it?" Chakotay asked.
"I related your people's faith...your faith to my need for perfection...I am aware that..." Seven shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Given the neural connection you once used to free me from the collective and you're understandable aversion to the Borg, that such comparisons were..." she hesitated as she tried to slow the beating of her heart which had quickly become unconfutable. "Unkind..."
"Seven..." He spoke softly as he took a step back towards her, before stopping in his tracks. He had intended to comfit her in some way but wasn't certain as to how, he didn't want to touch her gain as he recalled how alien the sensation seemed for her, even a little gentle hand on her arm seemed to make her freeze like a deer caught in the head lights. Yet there something in her posture, slouched, sullen and regretful the exact opposite of her normal ever confident demeanour that maybe just maybe she wanted someone to reach out to her.
So much so that for a moment an almost desperate earnest, miasma seemed pour forth from her like heavy perpent fog. 'What could it be' he wondered silently. He grimaced as Seven looked at him expectantly, her beautiful sky blue eyes staring at him as if he had all the answers. He cleared his throated with a cough. "Its...it's alright Seven...really I know you didn't mean anything from it..." he took a breath clearing his thoughts as they chased each other around his head. "Look I won't, lie to you Seven, I was unconfutable with the comparison at first! It's ok really." He assured her "I soon understood that you needed to reach out and make someone understand why omega was...is so important to you..." he trailed.
Seven shook her head, her expression remorseful. "Even so...Thank you for your consideration and your forgiveness commander...but please know I do not indeed to use such tactics again" She told him her pail face slowly regaining its colour as her confidence returned. "I will endeavour to be more forth coming with me desires" Seven informed him.
Chakotay couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at her seriousness "Believe me, one thing you're not lacking in is being forth coming" He told her gently resting a hand on her shoulder, she didn't seem so advise to physical contact as she had moments before. Perhaps her earlier reaction had simply being one of surprise, though inwardly he doubted he could have miss read her that much.
"Perhaps that is a quality I have in abundance" Seven mused, her human eye brow hitching upward as the commander removed his hand from her shoulder. "Commander while I remain grateful for your assistant today and for speaking to the Captain on my behalf as well as retrieving the data Voyager collected pertaining to the Omega particle...I wish to ask another favour of you..." she said at length as she straighten her body and held her hands behind her back. "...But I feel I must explain myself first...if you are willing to indulge me?"
"Sure Seven, what's on your mind?" Chakotay asked his curiosity peeked even if he was slightly taken about by her abrupt change of subject. Though he knew the former drone well enough by now, to know that rapid changes of subject were not unusually for Seven, it was just in her nature to flit from subject to another when it suited her. That combined with her tall proud almost regal stance and her usually aloof demurrer reasserting itself, conjured an almost bird of prey compassion with in Chakotay's mind.
Seven nodded as she attempted to gather and condense her thoughts and explain them in such a, away as so not to insult the commander or his people's traditions. Even as a not inconsiderable part of her railed against the idea that had only then occurred to her, she was unused to acting upon what could only be conceded a whim. "... As I have studied and annualised my reactions too to Omega. I have found certain colorations between my own experience and those pertaining too... religious and spiritual matter's..."
"So...you think you've had something like a spiritual awaking... that you, have experienced a Religious revaluation?" Chakotay asked unsure if he was fully fallowing the former drone's exploration. Not that she was being vague but it was difficult for him to wrap his head around the fact that he was discussing this with Seven of Nine someone who devoted nearly every part of her being to rationality, logic and efficiency, that she was having a spiritual crisis was a difficult idea to fathom! "Seven...I don't mean to discount what you feel about what happened today...but I'm trying to understand so bare with me" he requested. "From my understand the Borg don't really have a religion nor do they view Omega in that way...You said so yourself earlier today, they and you view it as you would anything else..." he said with a slight shudder "That because of its potential, once contained and stabilised Omega would to be studied, understood and assimilated"
Seven nodded in agreement "You are offcourse correct in all regards Commander. The Collective do not view Omega with anything that could be considered spiritual or religious relevance and neither did I..." She said with some hesitation.
"But you do now?" Chakotay asked his tattooed brow twitching upwards.
She broke the steady eye content she had maintained though out the majority of their conversation. "I do not know..." She said after a long purse "Perhaps... I only know that during the dispersal of Omega...that against all probability it stabilised...and...Looked at me...as if it knew me" Seven admitted her voice barely above a whisper. "I know that is imposable...a delusion"
"Seven" Chakotay interjected softly bur firmly "Nothing is imposable and you're not delusional...if you feel that is what happened if you truly believe there was something more than what sensors say... then there was...no one can tell you otherwise"
"But that is irrational...illogical" Seven exclaimed
He smiled gently "Tell me about it!" he exclaimed with nerves chuckle. "Believe me when I was younger, I used to say that expect same thing and more to my father, to my uncles, to my cousins and even the elder's of the tribe and anyone else who wouldn't throw me out on my ass...even when that happened once or twice...or a dozen or so times it wouldn't stop me..." Chakotay said wistfully his smile fading. "Dammed fool that I was...I was always so sure about everything...used to drive my family up the wall, my mom even..." he trailed off "...My mom even used to say that the first words out of my mouth when I was a baby was why and how..."
As if stirred from the either a memory of one of Chakotay's 'conversions' with his mother when he was a much younger man... no more than a teenager... wiggled free of the mass of memories that were stored with in her cortical array. "You miss them..." Seven said almost dreamily as the memory pushed more and more into her waking mind. She couldn't quite recall the words but she could feel his passion as he talked about his plans for the future, his frustration at the life style of his people, the attitude of his father. Yet she could also feel the underling respect Chakotay felt for his parents, sister and people. "You loved them" Seven stated simply as the memory slipped away like water from her hand.
Seven looked away as he gaze fell upon her, shame filling her features as he realised she had relived one of his memories. An unforeseen consequence of their shared mental link from nearly a year ago when he had used the nero transponder in his spine to break Seven free of the strangle hold of the collective. A good deal of each other's memories had flowed into the other. While she had no doubt that the commander had experienced a few of her memories as both a drone and what few memories of her human existence before her assimilation remained. Chakotay had never seemed to being willing to hold her at fault for this extra burden she had unwittingly laid upon his shoulders, for which she was grateful and was another of the commander's admiral qualities. Especially as at least to her knowledge he had rarely if ever had shared what he recalled from her existence before the Borg had taken her.
Chakotay for his part was only slightly off put by the idea that the former drone had actress to some his greatest moments and private shames. He was especially thankful that it was a small part of his psyche that still felt this way, as his aversion to her presence had lessened considerably since those first hard mouths. Chakotay knew neither he nor Seven had any control over when and when these memories would surface so he couldn't hold any grudge toward her for that. Especial not when he had seen the handful of her childhood memories which had always surprised him as he could never recall any of her memories of being a drone. "Yes I do" Chakotay coughed bringing Seven's attention back to him before she started to feel guilty about something out of her control. "So...how do you think I could help you explore...what you feel?"
Seven tilted her head amassed that the commander was still willing to assist her even after she had experienced one of his memories. "As it is extremely unlikely we will come upon another source of the ore required to create Omega...or Omega itself" she trailed off before refocusing as she had nearly went on a overly long explanation, as she was sometimes required to do when she had difficulty explaining herself to the voyager crew. "I believe there is a way that would allow me to explore...'What I experienced'...with minimal risk to voyager, her crew or myself"
"And that would be?" Chakotay queried though he didn't really require the answer as he already had a good idea what the former drone wanted from him.
"Your Akoonha device... By using it I believe I will be able to at the very least gain some context perhaps even understand, what I have felt" Seven explained plainly. "I know it is a lot to ask...but I would be grateful if you assisted me in this endeavour Commander"
"Right..." Chakotay murmured biting his lib as a million thoughts started race around his mind. "Seven...I...I don't know if using the Akoonha and going on a spirit walk is going to give you the answerers you're looking for..." he informed her 'if anything it'll add more questions' Chakotay added mental.
"I am aware of that Commander. I am familiar as to how your device functions and the stimuli it inducers" Seven told him firmly "If you do not wish to assist me in this endeavour...I will not proceed a head without you"
"I'm sure that you are aware of what you may or may not experience Seven" He stated, keeping his voice firm so as to not let on how taken aback he had being. Chakotay knew he really shouldn't have being as taken aback as he had being, Seven or rather the Borg had no doubt assimilated technology's similar to his peoples Akoonha device if not the device itself. But understanding that as a possibility was different to having that possibility all but confirmed, especially as Seven had apparently decided that some level of discretion was needed. As she had chosen not to elaborate on how she was familiar or the nature of that familiarity, for which he was thankful. Not that he doubted that if he asked she would be truthful in the extreme, Seven rarely chose to sugar coat things. "But I'd hazard a guess that whatever your awareness comes from its a technical awareness..."
"That is correct..." Seven confirmed "I have never interacted with such devices, either as a drone or within my existence as an individual." She told him flatly. "However despite my lack of experience I believe, under your guidance I can prepare to interface with the device" Seven said with conviction.
"I wish I had your confidence" Chakotay murmured under his breath. "Are you really sure you want to do this? It's not something easily done" He told her. That admittal wasn't even half the truth, the trance like state that the Akoonha put its user under was intense. It was never something to be taken lightly even by experienced users like himself. Not to mention he hadn't the faintest clue of what Seven would or could possible see. She had only just started reconsidering the trauma the Borg had inflicted on her and the harm she as a drone had done to others, which could be reflected back at her. "... Can you even interact with the Akoonha... your implants...?" Chakotay asked nervously not wishing to upset Seven any more than she already was but he had to be sure.
"I am reasonability certain that my remaining implants will not interfere" Seven explained. "However I will check with the Doctor, when I am free to do so." She told Chakotay reassuringly. "If my assessment back up by the Doctor, would you be willing it assist me, Commander?"
"I'll help you Seven" Chakotay told her running a hand through his short dark hair.
Next chapter: "Conflicting beings and means"
AN: Please review.
Also if anyone has a better name for chapter two then the one's I listed above please feel free to add a suggestion.
Alaster's fan fiction recommendations
Star trek Voyager: in no order
Story: Happenstance Author: The lady Mage
Story: The gift Author: scifiromance
Story: What we need Author: The lady mage
Story: Cross road's Author: The Chesire cheese (ps you may want to check out her DA account and you tube channel)
Avengers: In no order
Story: Blond is an unusual colour Author: Kagetora no Tsume
Story: Conjugal Visit Author: Kagetora no Tsume
Story: Spiderman: A homecoming to remember Author: defiasstone2
Story: Blood to Blood Author: Silver Spider
Surviving the Night On Bald Mountain