The Trials of Imperius
Imperius was sat at the kitchen table in the High Heavens nursing a large bruise under his helmet with a large ice-pack. The fight with Diablo had not gone well, and he – the Angel of Valor – had lost significant face amongst his fellow angels. Malthael came into the kitchen and the air turned freezing cold; a grunt came from beneath the low turned hood when Imperius came into view.
"Help me, I'd dying." He said and winced for dramatic effect.
"You're not dying." Said Malthael flatly in a low voice. Imperius rolled his eyes and stood up,
"Can you not talk in that voice….I know your secret after all. You're not male." Malthael groaned in annoyance and flicked the hood back revealing snow white skin, piercing blue eyes and long silky black hair. Malthael was indeed female. And bore a strong resemblance to Imperius. They could have been twins.
"You know I don't like to reveal my true identity. Besides, I feel I get more respect when I pretend to be a man." Imperius walked over to his sister (who so often masqueraded as his brother) and ran a hand down the side of her face creepily, wincing at the cold that radiated from her and the pallid feeling of her skin. He bent low to whisper into her ear,
"You know I respect you…and love you…" He said in a horribly leering and incestuous way. She shuddered and had to fight not to throw up all over him. He was always doing this – flirting with her – and the sad thing was….he was serious about it!
"Get your hand off me. I won't warn you again." She spoke every word as a hiss and her face became skeletal, the flesh rotting before his eyes as she showed her true visage. Imperius shat himself violently at the sight of his 'beautiful' sister decaying and sprouting maggots before him. An angelic mess was made on the floor as sparkly poop flowed from beneath the angel of valor's armor. Malthael grimaced and shook her head at her brother defecating and said,
"And you wonder why I don't like you…" Then she made her exit through the wall. She could do this because she could make herself ethereal as opposed to a solid object. Imperius called some slaves to come and clean up the poop with their bare hands; he vowed that this was not the end and he would conquer Malthael eventually.
Malthael returned to her chambers in Pandemonium and made some pretty gyroscopes to decorate the place with before remembering that her brother existed and smashing them in a rage. After two hours of smashing, she grew tired and so went to bed. That night, something awoke her and she could see a shimmering golden light making its slow way up her gigantic four-poster bed (Malthael's bed needed to be huge to accommodate her huge wingspan). She widened her eyes and pale corpselight seemed to emanate from them, illuminating a partially clothed Imperius halfway up her bed – large golden halo still spinning above his head.
"Hello, sister." He said in his best attempt at a sultry and seductive voice. He had a raging boner. "I thought you could use…company tonight. Why don't we play a war game? It's called divide and conquer." He tried to grasp her legs, but she went ethereal again and he just succeeded in faceplanting into the stone mattress. He faceplanted right where Malthael's crotch should have been and was most disappointed and also suffered a nasal haemorrhage. Blood sprayed all over the bed, capturing Malthael's attention. She ran one long-nailed finger through the crimson emission and licked it – shivering at how good the coppery liquid felt in her mouth. Her wings twitched with anticipation and suddenly she was a woman possessed. She launched herself at Imperius who had been temporarily blinded by the force of him nasal haemorrhage and latched onto his nose with her sharp fangs. Imperius yelled, but Malthael ignored him as she continued to feed on his blood. He could feel the air being sucked out of his lungs, and he was becoming faint from blood loss – luckily he had a spare steak in his pocket and so chowed-down on it whilst guiding Malthael's head away from his mouth with his other hand.
"I need it, brother. I *need* it." Shrieked the Angel of Death as blood began to cascade over her bottom lip and over the sharp edge of her chin. Imperius saw his moment and picked her up effortlessly, detaching her teeth from his ravaged nose which promptly ripped off as Malthael's jaws were wrenched free. More blood spurted. He was doomed. He had just seconds before his sister launched herself at him again and so he acted fast. He picked up his nose and held it to her lips, but her needle-like teeth clamped down on his hand before he could draw it away. He roared in pain and pulled his remaining clothes off with his non-orally wedged hand. Whilst his hand was wedged there, he pushed her down and attempted to mount her – trying not to get impaled upon her impressive bony wings. Malthael, again, was faster. She pivoted her head at a 180 degree angle so that her face was the completely wrong way around and tore off his hand with a final snarling hiss.
The sudden shock of this hand-loss and failed copulation made his heavenly dong go limp as a salmon-fish (rotating your head 180 degrees in an undead owl impression was not an attractive feature as far as he was concerned). He started to back away from her but she advanced upon him like a snarling tiger, his hand still jammed somewhere down her throat.
"What have I told you…" She said, growling and gnashing her fangs (he was thankful he hadn't let her at his wang), "What have I told you about your hideous and bizarre incest fetish, brother? It's such a shame…" she conjured up her robes again and a scythe appeared in her outstretched hand, "…it's such a shame that you'll have to lose the rest of your pretty face as well…"
No! Not his beautiful face! His long, flowing blonde hair…his deep blue eyes…his chiselled features… It was too much to bear. Next to the 'Staff of Valor' he kept below his belt, his face was his best feature. He began to stagger away, but he suffered from an unexpected attack of haemorrhoids and they burst catastrophically everywhere around Malthael's chambers. The Angel of Death sighed and dropped to her knees; to his horror (and mild arousal) she began lapping up the blood from the floor, which bought him time to flee from the room. He hadn't gone two steps before the floor disappeared from underneath him and he fell for what seemed like an eternity – the sound of Malthael's shrieking banshee laughter the only thing to accompany him.
It started to grow hot, and the pungent odor hit him. Demon flesh and shit. Wonderful. He appeared to be falling into the depths of hell. He hit the fleshy and writhing floor with a 'thwack' and his cock broke painfully on a nearby rock. He was now noseless, handless (well his dominant hand at least) and was the proud owner of a right-angle cock. Everything around him was very silent…until he heard a booming growl which sounded both amused and aroused coming from above him. A gigantic six legged demon with four eyes and a myriad of nipple chains was glaring down at him, fire radiating from his v-shaped mouth and eyes. He was at least thirty times larger than Imperius himself and had been jiggling his large belly and surrounding fat to the beat of a drum. Well, it wasn't really a drum…it was an over-inflated demon beating itself over the head with a severed leg.
"Mmmmmm….who disturbs my belly dancing soiree?" Said the being, and Imperius looked up in horror and revulsion, realizing that he had left Solarion at home in preference for the other spear that now lay broken between his thighs. He stood up, naked, and cupped his hands over his dong in defence…but the giant demon had already seen his manhood and was laughing. At that point another voice came from the ceiling and a hideous multi-legged thing descended to the floor on a string of silk,
"Azmodan, my love…I do believe it's an angel. Is this your new toy?" She had a voice that sounded like hot honey dripping seductively from a corpse. She was beautiful, if you ignored the fact that she had a giant spider ass and eight bony legs. The giant fiery demon thing spoke,
"Cydaea, my darling…he just fell down here from Pandemonium….you may have him if you please. I like to watch." The creature called Azmodan, sat back and started to watch as Cydaea turned the belly dancing music back on and began to rhythmically twerk against Imperius's crotch as silk shot out of her spinnerets and started to pull him closer to her spider abdomen. Imperius thought he might actually expire from the sheer horror of it all but his mind suddenly exploded in pain as Cydaea's toxic spider-hairs skewered his angelic flesh. His bowels couldn't take it any more and exploded into a shower of turd-hailstones that exploded like World War I shrapnel around the room as the angelic loveliness and demonic taint met and created poop hail.
Cydaea was repulsed by this unexpected scat show (even demon spiders have standards) and she spoke in a harsh reprimand,
"Now, now, we'll have none of that…" A bung was roughly shoved up his anus and Azmodan laughed heartily as his own loincloth started to quiver. He was not like Cydaea, he liked poop and awaited the tsunami that would eventually drip from his body piercings after he fed Imperius the laxative laced Nephalem legs that he was saving for after Cydaea had her fun. He played with his nipple chains appreciatively and murmured.
"Now," said Cydaea as she pulled Imperius closer to her by the spider silk; he was now really starting to panic because his awfully bent dick was getting closer and closer to her abhorrent spider lady-parts and he could feel her squirmy wetness pulling him in like quicksand. Azmodan farted loudly in the distance and his own stench continued to turn him on – he wafted it towards his face with his flabby arms and tore off his loincloth with the other hand. His humongous bus-sized penis oscillated seemingly of its own accord. Imperius tried to shit himself to alleviate some of the horror increasing inside his bowels, but the bung held fast. Cydaea gave one almighty pull and *squelch* he was inside her. The arousing agony was too much for him as he felt her internal barbed vaginal hairs pierce his dong and hook themselves into it. She was like a succubus – pulling his life energy out of him through his man-stick and draining him of his vital essence! He flailed helplessly against her spider-ass as she twerked up and down with him fish-hooked inside her. Azmodan farted again and so Cydaea clicked her fingers and one of her succubus-daughters rammed a bung up his colossal anus which was the size of the Cassiar Tunnel in Vancouver.
"Save your gas for later, my darling. I'll be requiring it…" Said the spider lady as she began to jiggle her own sumptuous breasts with her spider legs. It was too much for him….Imperius lost his lunch and vomited all over Cydaea's spider rump. His angelic stomach acid burned a hole in her abdomen and she jet-propelled him out of her spidergina at Mach 3. He hit Azmodan's belly, fell onto his dong and then dropped slowly to the floor – his cock now resembling a cactus patch from contact with all Cydaea's vaginal hook-hairs. Azmodan prodded him with his humongous dong whilst tutting,
"You have upset the Mistress….you must PAY." And the whipping began. Azmodan belly danced to his terrible music and shook his nipple-chains in such a manner that they whipped Imperius's naked ass terribly. Never had the Angel of Valor been so grateful! Pain! He could deal with pain….as long as that was all that was on the horizon. He was wrong. Azmodan was approaching his destination and was lowering his large bulk over Imperius. Two of Cydaea's succubus daughters picked up Imperius and held him up in the air whilst Azmodan lowered his anus perilously close the angel's golden blonde head. Cydaea took the opportunity to steal Imperius's halo and squeezed it over Azmodan's monster meat-stick to act as a cock ring. The holy metal seared into Azmodan's behemothic beast-baton and he growled in pain…but as well as a sadist, Azmodan was also a masochist and the pain was uplifting. He sat down hard and Imperius felt the velvety warmth of Azmodan's asshole envelope him. He was now at the point of full insertion.
Somewhere outside of his anus, Cydaea was biting Azmodan's nipples with her poisonous fangs and each of his man-boobs had swelled to previously unheard of levels. Soon, one tug on his chains and he would be over the edge and cumming so hard that he could shoot God out of the sky many, many miles above. She heard Azmodan give out a strangled call, which was her indication that Azmodan was about to cum.
"Oh no my darling, not yet." She hissed and rammed a dick-rod down his penis – this was comprised of a lamp-post attached to a fire hydrant and it was ribbed with kiddie hula-hoops for extra pleasure. He yelled in a mixture of pain and masochistic pleasure and started to gyrate his ass faster and faster as the belly dancing music sped up. Imperius was jostled head first into his prostate and began head-butting it in rhythm to the Arabic music; Azmodan started to yodel sexually as Imperius tried to scream in pain but only succeeded in inhaling a mouthful of demon poop when he opened his mouth. He vomited it back out immediately and the holy vomit stream started to erode Azmodan's large intestine…which caused the fat demon so much pleasure that he almost ejected the fire hydrant dick-rod from his mega meat stick. Cydaea became concerned that – with his ass and dong blocked up – Azmodan might cum out of his mouth instead and so ball-gagged him with an over-inflated demon who was passing by. Azmodan winked with his four eyes sexily.
Azmodan was in bliss. The whole idea of his dong being rammed full of metal and his ass being invaded by a fully grown male angel was too much to bear. He felt the cum from his dong being diverted to his head and knew he had only seconds before his pleasure erupted. Imperius took that moment to try and escape, but accidentally grabbed hold of Azmodan's prostate with one hand, and his kidney with the other. The kidney popped, showering him with demon gore but the prostate erupted into a shower of liquid pleasure. Azmodan came….but not from his mega-wang.
Ear-fluid blasted out of Azmodan's ears with the force of an F5 tornado. An egg-sac that Cydaea had laid in his head last week also came blasting out and showered the room with baby spiderlings. They immediately began feeding on the ear-fluid-cum. The force of the liquid shot Cydaea off Azmodan's nipple-chain and she slammed into a nearby wall and shat herself loudly at the same time. Imperius was ejected from Azmodan's rear like a rocket leaving Earth's atmosphere and the demon's bowels followed him. Flurries of liquid crappies kept coming out of the big demon's anus and his brutalized kidney and prostate were shot out as well. Imperius was covered in diarrhea and started to uncontrollably poop himself as he realized to his horror that he had contracted dysentery and toxic shock syndrome whilst he was lodged in the bowels of a Lord of Hell. His once golden hair and his shining wings were now rancid ass-brown with turd and his halo had been smashed to pieces as Azmodan's cock had expanded during the bizarre copulation.
Imperius grabbed the pieces of his halo as floods of tears came from his deep blue eyes. He glanced back at Azmodan – belly dancing music still playing in the background – and saw that the fire hydrant dick-rod had melted with the intense temperature of the demon lord's body and he now had a spurt of liquid metal spewing out of his crotch. He was laughing maniacally as he heard Imperius's whimpers echo through the many levels of the burning hells.
As the dysentery took hold, Imperius opened his blessed anus and lo, did he catapult himself back up into the air with his own sparkly jet-stream of shit – which birthed many butterflies and fireflies. As he rocketed past the endless plains of Pandemonium he heard the half-crazed cackling of his sister (who so often masqueraded as his 'brother') and the floods of tears started once more. He tried to wipe them away so that she wouldn't see as he entered her chambers…but he couldn't. Imperius, Angel of Valor, was weeping like a beaten child in front of the Angel of Death – Malthael. She looked him up and down with an amused yet mildly bewildered glare; he was totally naked and covered in turd and his penis looked like it had been rubbed with wire wool and then bent at an unhealthy right-angle.
"Now brother? Now will you heed my warnings and leave me alone?" Malthael spoke in her flowing, ice cold voice. Imperius could bear the shame no longer and he ran squelching from her room in a flurry of shit and dead hopes.