This little fucker right here... This story is the reason I haven't updated anything else. It popped into my head when writing, and then it STUCK, and I couldn't get any fucking work done until I had it typed out.
Also, cause I've been replaying Skyrim of late, and was fucking disappointed at the lack of High School DxD and Skyrim crossovers than weren't shitty, incomplete, or abandoned.
So here I am, contending - in the fucking High School DxD Section.
Oh boyyyy... The Devil is here and he is here to stay.
WARNINGS: As it is your friendly neighborhood edgelord writing this, this story will contain: instances and/or mentions of graphic violence, sexual assault, rape, torture, mutilation, incest, necrophilia and/or bestiality (cause vampires, werewolves et al) gore, psychological manipulation, occasional edginess, horrifying mindfucking revelations, angst, tentacles, lolicons and/or pedophilia (cause DxD is often fucking ambiguous about age) and things that you can be rest assured would forever ban you from heaven.
Tread with caution - you have been warned.
Force Without Balance
"…huh? S-Seth? What's –"
"I did it dude!" I yelled over the phone, grinning excitedly. "I finally fucking did it!"
"Wha? Did what?"
I stared in satisfaction at the computer screen in front of me, before pushing the phone closer to my ear and gripping it tighter.
"I finally killed every single person in Skyrim!"
"…You – you what?"
"You heard me! I killed every last one! Even the kids and the essential characters – I had to use a mod to make sure they stayed dead though – and prevent any stupid respawning. But – I did it – I did it motherfucker!"
"Seth… what the fuck – it's three in the fucking morning. You woke me up, at three in the morning – just to tell me that you killed off everyone in Skyrim?"
"Well yeah! I mean come on – give me some fucking props here. I didn't even use console commands or god mode – oh, oh – and I started with Lydia. Fucking, stupid Lydia. Damn I wish I could fuck her. Or bang her. Or bang her and kill her." I sighed. "It hurt to kill some people though. Like the two daughters I adopted – and Serana – that sexy vampire – damn I wanna fuck Serana."
"Seth, you're my friend, but you need some fucking help. No, really –"
I snorted. "As if I you wouldn't bang her the first chance you could get."
"She's not real –"
"I know that – I'm not a fucking idiot." I said with a frown, before rubbing my eyes "I meant if she was real – I'd like to strip her down, and sink my teeth into her, dribble her blood down her breasts as I used it for lube and then –"
"Are you really going to tell me about your vampire rape fantasies at three in the fucking morning?"
"Remind me who's helping you type your thesis paper again?"
"… so after you lube her up with blood – what next?"
I grinned. "Meh, never mind that." I turned my attention back to my PC, staring at my lone vampire lord character standing at the throat of the world. "I just kinda wish you could do sexual stuff in videogames – like… imagine if you could fuck people in Manhunt. I mean, we've got a shit ton of violence in videogames and movies, and no one bats an eye – but show a little bit of tits and pussy – and everyone loses their mind!"
"Yeah, yeah, it's fucking crazy – I get it. Now, can I PLEASE get back to sleep? I've got a fucking long lecture tomorrow morning – and the Professor is a stuck-up bitch that I can't handle unless I had some really great shut-eye."
I yawned a bit, before frowning. "Fine – fine. I think I've got all the adrenaline out of my system anyway. I'll probably try killing everyone in Fallout New Vegas next. Or maybe Red Dead Redemption? That would definitely be more challenging. I'd need to bring my PS3 out of the wardrobe though."
"Sure…. Buddy. You do that. I'm off to bed."
The phone call went off. Yawning again, I plugged in the device to the charger, before turning my attention back to my PC, and back to my Imperial Vampire-Lord character. Ragnar Lothbrok was what I'd christened him – an Imperial who'd made his way to the top of the Thieves' Guild, becoming Nightingale and Guild Master. The Dark Brotherhood, becoming Listener. The College of Winterhold, becoming Archmage. He fought his way across Skyrim for the Imperial Legion, and finally killed Ulfric Stormcloak, spitting in the man's dying wish by finishing him with a common iron dagger, rather than his own weapon. A man who had fought against the Dawnguard, siding with Serana and eventually killing Harkon. He had travelled to Solstheim and killed the annoying Dragonborn Miraak, showing the world his true power.
Then, he slayed Alduin – the eater of worlds, fulfilling his destiny, fulfilling prophecy – and saving all of Skyrim, if not the entire world.
Only to go around fetching items for random people, hunting down common bandits, and doing arbitrary, pointless, inane tasks.
I shook my head at the thought of it. I could almost envision it, the Dragonborn went mad from the fact that nothing he did, no feat he accomplished, actually ever changed anything. And so – in his rage, his anger, his undeniable boredom – he began a massacre – a genocide – a cleansing of Skyrim and all of its people. Killing his Thane and his own adopted daughters, before eliminating all of Whiterun, and travelling from land to land, through frozen tundra and sharp mountain peaks, using the power of his voice, the Thu'um, his Vampiric Powers, and his vast command of Conuration, Archery, and Magic to utterly decimate the world.
"And, once he had completed his task, he stood, alone, at the Throat of the World, the lone man in an empty, vast world filled with neither men nor beast – and so…"
I pushed forward on the 'W' key, watching as my character moved –
"The Legendary Dragonborn – dove off the Throat of the World, to his demise."
I grinned. Hell, it'd make one hell of a compelling tragedy. The stuff of legends – the fall of a mighty hero – a man who saved the world, only to destroy it. Would his soul forever be lost from Sovngarde? Claimed by Nocturnal? Wander the Soul Cairn? Taken for a jolly-ride by Sheogorath?
"… I need to get a fucking girlfriend."
I rubbed my eyes to remove the sleep from them, before hibernating my PC and turning around to jump on my bed. I'd probably be late to class tomorrow – but it didn't bother me much. I'd just give a token excuse and be pardoned – one of the benefits of being an honor student.
"Another day gone – another obscure world record broken." I yawned for the third time, the sleep completely overwhelming me.
"Now… for some epic, drift-off music…"
I put on my headphones, lulling off to the sweet, sweet chants of Lindsey Sterling's Skyrim Main Theme.
"Ah… An Elder Scroll... the power possessed within – the great and terrible things they can do."
"I've been waiting for you, or someone like you, for some time. You already know who I am do you not? Or perhaps you do not, in which case, I would be so very disappointed. Regardless – I believe in you – or perhaps, I believe more in your insanity. To see more of what this madness is capable of – I would very much like that."
"Do be sure to have fun, and try your hardest not to die… it would be too dreadfully boring if you do."
"Ugh… fuck… my head…"
I awoke with a splitting headache, a sensation that felt as though I'd slammed my head against the closest rock and proceeded to use that rock as a pillow. This was definitely going to be the last time I binge-played a videogame for hours on end – not to mention that weird dream. I could've sworn I'd heard that dialogue somewhere –
"Oi! Anata wa koko de nani o shite iru no?"
I felt my otaku senses tingling, causing my eyes to immediately snap open at the rather distinct sound of the Japanese language. The sight of the vast and open night sky immediately told me that I was not in my room anymore. More than that, I became aware of the fact that I was not on a bed either. Oh, no – I was on a bench. I was on a fucking bench of all things.
"What… the fuck – is this someone's idea of a fucking joke?" I snarled, sitting up and immediately latching my gaze unto the first person I saw –
And it was a policeman.
"Anata wa, cosplayerdesu ka?"
I didn't need to speak Japanese to understand what the man was saying, particularly because of the way he held his baton, and the way he began gesturing at me. I glanced down, immediately feeling no small amount of confusion at the outfit I was wearing. Slick, strong, but all the same, recognizable – the dark sheen of the Nightingale Armor was one of the few things I didn't think I'd be able to forget. More importantly, I could not possibly forget it, because it was my player character's ideal choice of garb.
I stood to my feet, examining myself very, very carefully, and also immediately realizing that I wasn't just garbed in the Nightingale Armor – I also had, at my sides, a small ornate dagger, and a long, Katana-like blade. I recognized them instantly. How could I not? Considering that they were my choice of weapons when I was not wielding a bow or chanting out spells – Mehrunes' Razor and Harkon's Sword – both weapons hummed softly to me.
Inwardly, I was panicking. No – fuck inwardly, I was panicking.
What the fuck was going on?
This was way – way too elaborate for my friend or anyone I knew at all to have come up with as a prank. The Armor was too well-made, and the swords – even in the brilliant shining night my eyes could make out their sheen.
Wait… shining night?
The world around me – it was night time, but yet, it wasn't. Or more accurately, I could see through the dark like it wasn't even there. Sources of light were magnified and I had to squint to look at them, but everything else seemed to shine –
"Ne, watashi wa anata no koto o ki ni shimasenga, anata wa nemuru koto ga dekimasen."
I turned my attention back to the man in front of me, and I watched as he seemed to nervously shift backwards, becoming defensive – why was he…?
Oh. It must be the Nightingale Hood I was wearing. I remembered that they gave a rather intimidating appearance –
I pulled off the hood, flickering my gaze back to the police officer, and then I spoke the one word I made sure to never forget how to speak in Japanese, just in case I ever did find myself in Japan.
"Wakarimasen," I don't understand. "Japanese… er… Nippon… Nihon… Nihongo?" That should be it. "Wakarimasen Nihongo."
The police officer immediately frowned at me. "No understand? Naze? Show me pasupoto – show papers."
Well shit. "Er… Wakarimasen wakarimasen! Uh… arigatou goshaimashu – sayonara!"
I turned around, and immediately made a break for it.
Like I was going to somehow explain to the police officers, to explain to anyone, how I suddenly found myself sleeping on a park bench in Japan, dressed in Nightingale Armor. Oh, yeah, they'd certainly love to listen to what I have to say.
No one I knew was rich enough to afford a prank like this – to send me to Japan and get custom made realistic armor and weapons. Not one of the motherfuckers I called my friends would have the money to afford any of this shit – so the idea that this was a prank, was rapidly wearing thin.
I dashed through the park, passing by a fountain, and making my way in any random direction without truly knowing where I was headed. My mind was a flurry of thoughts as I tried to think up a logical reason for suddenly waking up in Japan, in Nightingale Armor, after having played and killed every last thing in Skyrim just the previous night.
… There was no connection.
Why Japan?! Sure, I loved anime and shit – but I had no intention of ever actually visiting the country – and, more importantly, why the hell in the world could I see so fucking clearly in the night?!
Shit! I cursed as I turned around, finding the police officer hot on my tail, before growling as I tried to find the best place I could run to – or hide –
I took cover behind some bushes, doing my best to crouch down and not be seen –
And the police officer stopped cold in his tracks. He looked as confused as I felt, and I watched as he turned around and began searching for me in the opposite direction.
What he did – just now – it reminded me of the way people in Skyrim reacted when I snuck in battle – Shadow Warrior – was the name of the perk that made that happen –
No way… no… it can't possibly be…
It was stupid of me to try, stupid of me to even think about doing it when I was still being searched for… but, while crouched on the grass, I moved one foot forward… and I rolled.
Quick and silent.
I rolled across the ground, and not even the slightest of noise was created. It shouldn't have been possible, despite hitting the ground and moving, my ears had heard absolutely no sound – almost as though I wasn't there.
"This can't seriously be happening…"
First, Night Vision, then the effects of Shadow Warrior, and now… Silent Roll. I was seeing a pattern here, a pattern which I did not want to believe. There was one sure-fire way to test out what I believed was happening to me – one insane, but definite way to know for sure that I was not losing my mind.
I peeked out of the bushes, finding the police officer standing with his back turned and scratching his head. Crouching as I was, I made my way over to him, and I was baffled at the complete silence of my approach. I stepped on a leaf, yet, the leaf neither crinkled nor made a sound, and if not for the fact that I was aware of my own existence and movement, I would have been eerily disconcerted by my own absolute silence.
I snuck behind the police officer, and I took a slow, deep breath.
I shoved my hands into his pockets, clenching my eyes –
He didn't move. He didn't even notice. How the hell could he not notice that there were hands in his pockets?
I found within it, a cellphone, wallet, car keys, and a packet of cigarettes, all of which I grabbed –
Only for all of them to disappear as I grabbed them.
What the fuck?
I removed my hands from his pockets at that point, yet, I never lost my balance from crouching like a slav, and merely frowned at the sudden vanishing of what I took. So… instead, I glanced at the police officer – and then – I aimed for his pants.
I merely touched them, and had to blink as my body moved on its own, rapidly unbuckling the belt and pulling off the item in a fraction of a second, before they vanished once again. Into air, or into somewhere – the pants of the policeman were gone.
And he still didn't notice.
What the fucking hell.
He was standing with his shirt tucked into a pair of blue striped boxers – and he didn't even seem to realize something was amiss.
Perfect Touch – the perk that granted the ability to pickpocket equipped items.
It confirmed what I thought, the crazy, insane thought that lingered at the back of my mind from the very second I woke up with the Nightingale Armor.
I've become a Skyrim Character…
Judging by the perks, it wasn't just any Skyrim character, but my Skyrim character. My overpowered, broken Skyrim character. My Vampire Lord Archmage Nightingale Assassin Dragonborn character.
The world is screwed.
I resisted the urge to start laughing like a motherfucking maniac, only because the police officer was still in front of me, and was yet to realize the fact that he had no pants on. Instead, I stopped crouching, standing back to my full height which, I now noticed was significantly taller than the Japanese man.
The man immediately jerked at the sound of my voice, turning around –
And I merely crouched again – like a slav.
It was funny, downright hilarious actually, to watch someone try to find you when you were directly in front of them. It was even more hilarious, when said person suddenly realized that his pants were missing, and then screamed out in shock as he did.
Wait.. can I…?
In the game – you couldn't pickpocket past the pants because it was one of those stupid censorship things were nudity was taboo. But – I was no longer in the game. So could I…?
I reached out to the panicking man as he turned around and was about to run –
And got treated to the sight of the butt cheeks of a middle-aged Japanese man.
… I hadn't thought this through, and now, I was forever scarred with the image of another man's naked butt. Fuck.
On the upside, it was amusing to watch a man with nothing but a police shirt, shoes and socks do his best to hightail it whilst protecting his dignity and modesty, but on the downside, I could have done without the sight of another man's naked butt, and swinging dick. So, I tried to focus more on the upsides again – which was, the fact that certain rules which were applied in the game did not apply to me – and I could in fact, pickpocket anything I wanted.
I stared at my hands, at the inherent power that I now possessed within them, the power of my character – the character who had slain the world, the character who slayed dragons on a daily basis and once beat a troll to death with nothing but his fists –
And now, I had this power.
I took in a deep breath.
Okay, it was time to put on my thinking cap. I began walking down the path the police officer had run off too, knowing full well that after seeing a man fleeing without pants, I was less likely to draw as much suspicion and scrutiny. As it stood – I had zero idea as to where I was, except for the fact that I was somewhere in Japan. Why Japan? As of now, I had no clue. So, I needed to first and foremost, blend in to the environment and avoid drawing suspicion to myself. Following that, I would need a place to recollect myself and discover exactly where I was and how I got here, and figure out a way to go from there.
Task – Blend In.
How did I go about doing that? For starters, not being dressed from head to toe in armor would certainly help. But, I didn't have anything on me at the moment that I could wear… which meant, it was time to dabble into one of the most useful skills in my Illusion arsenal.
I rose my hand, closing my eyes, and taking in a long, deep breath, before thinking of what it was that I required.
I felt something inside of me stir, a pull against a force within, and then I opened my eyes –
I could not see my body.
The [Spell] had worked. Spells could work. I could use my spells. A part of me wanted to celebrate, but I knew that my job was just getting started. [Invisibility] only lasted 30 Seconds when using the spell, which was why I tended to resort to using potions instead. With the Alchemy skill tree maxed out and all perks purchased, and with some help from utilizing the infamous Alchemy-Enchanting exploit, I could brew a potion that could last for months. Of course, if I had a potion of Fortify Illusion, I would generally be able to extend the time-frame to far much longer.
I didn't have time to think too much about it, however, as I made my way across the park, and unto the roads which were surprisingly not that filled with people. I counted an internal clock in my head every thirty seconds, recasting the spell just as it ran out, enabling me to move across the streets without drawing unnecessary attention to myself.
The problem was… I had no idea where I was going. I'd need to get a different set of clothes so I stopped being invisible, and then I'd need to find myself a place to stay for the meanwhile… but I had no idea where to go to find either of those two things. This was where another rather useful spell in my arsenal came into effect.
Rather than a wispy, smoky trail appearing and showing me the direction of where to go, the spell instead showed me that wispy trail in my head, along with the general location of where I was supposed to head, and the knowledge of what it looked like, flashing in my mind like a fond memory.
I moved with a renewed sense of purpose down the streets, ensuring to avoid bumping into people who were unaware of the invisible man walking down the road. It was strange, inexplicable, to be completely and utterly unseen, completely and utterly undetected – for people to pass you by without ever even realizing that you were there. Invisibility was a power I coveted, and I could think of no less than a hundred thousand different uses of it.
Within a few minutes, I made my way to what was apparently, the 'Red-Light' areas of the town. I remembered from once reading an article online about the existence of 'Love Hotels' in numerous different parts of Japan. Due to the laws about what actually constituted sexual intercourse, (which I believed, was purely 'vaginal penetration' and not much else), prostitution did exist in cheapened forms and in other services. Blowjobs, handjobs, footjobs, anal and a plethora of other paraphilia were not technically considered sex, and hence not technically prostitution. Part of me always wondered if that law, and the Japanese censorship laws were the reason for so many fucking diverse modes of hentai. Before the Japanese, the word 'tentacles' had not been associated with 'fucked senseless.'
I came to a stop in front of a shop that sold various types of clothes. Sauntering inside like an invisible wraith – I made my way through the aisles until I found a cool enough looking pair of jean pants, and then-, I crouched and touched it –
And it vanished.
My right eye twitched in irritation. Everything I touched or grabbed kept vanishing – almost as if –
Almost as if it's going somewhere.
Wait… could it be?
"Items." I whispered.
Voice activated inventory? Portable storage space? The full enchilada was right fucking there. I didn't waste a second to rapidly scant through each one, confirming that every item I had while playing as Ragnar Lothbrok, I still possessed. Every potion, every ingredient, every book, weapon and Armor – everything. Auriel's Bow, Mace of Molag Bal, Nightingale Sword, Daedric Arrows, Daedric Swords – on and on it went. I had everything.
I clapped my hand on my mouth when I realized that there were one or two people giving me weird looks, which told me that my invisibility had worn off, and I was now, very visibly, a guy in black Armor crouching in a shop in front of clothes.
Hopefully, they should think I'm one of those chuuni people than anything else. Which kind of sucked, cause I did not want to be the guy who went around acting like a fucking anime character.
I grabbed as many casual looking clothes as I could, watching how they vanished from a mere touch and were added to my Apparel panel immediately. With that done, I made my way into the nearest changing room, before equipping the items –
And the clothes appeared on my form with ease. It was perfectly my size too.
Damn I loved videogame mechanics.
Now, I was dressed in a casual outfit of dark blue jeans, sneakers, and a leather jacket. I moved in front of the mirror, taking in my appearance –
My eyes, were, unsurprisingly, the familiar red of a vampire. Or more accurately, I had red pupils. The 'whites' of my eyes were still 'white' rather than being a blackened color. More than that, my appearance – I was my character, but I looked much younger. Actually, I looked my normal age – twentyish or so, instead of the full-grown, macho-man bearded adult that my character had been.
The problem was, as a Vampire Lord, I was immortal and hence could not age or die. Which meant… I would look like this… forever.
Being a twenty-one year old for all of eternity? What sort of cruel torture was that?! I hoped I could still grow some macho facial hair, otherwise this would seriously suck. My black hair was smooth and slicked back, like a true vampire, and my facial features seemed to be slightly hovering between 'delinquent' and 'pretty boy' which was not cool. Was this an effect of vampirism?
"Tsk. I'll deal with that later. For now though –"
For now, I needed to figure out what my next step was going to be. I rummaged through my item list, eventually finding the phone that I'd pickpocketed off the police officer, and I began searching through it. Finding the language corner and changing the device language from Japanese to English was a major bitch, but, thankfully, icons helped with that. The next thing was to contact someone… but rather than waste time making calls, I decided to go straight to social media.
"Okay… something's weird…"
My Facebook account didn't exist.
That… was fucking weird. How the fuck did my Facebook account not exist?
"…Bullshit. The fuck?"
Not just mine, as I searched. My friend's, my sister's, my mom's – hell, every single person I knew, none of their accounts were available. None of them were present. I highly doubted that everyone would choose to delete their Facebook accounts just to pull a fast one on me nor I wasn't egotistical enough to think that they would.
So I hit up Gmail.
My Gmail account did not exist.
Hell, even my fucking Hotmail account was wiped from existence.
"…This isn't funny anymore."
"Come on, even my Quora account? Really motherfucker?!"
It wasn't even just my accounts, which, would have been really weird, but everyone's. Every single person I knew. Every. Single. Person. Professors, students from high school, old friends, rivals, that one girl who almost gave me a blowjob, that other girl who wanted me to smoke weed, that one guy who threw me into a dumpster cause I made a move on his girl while wasted –
Everyone I knew.
I was panting and hyperventilating like an asthmatic who ran the four minute mile, and I realized I was in no state to make any rational decisions. I hastily rose my hand and attempted something on myself –
A tranquil peace overcame me, all at once, my mind was soothed, eased, I could take in a large, deep breath, and I felt as though I just finished a full bowl of ice cream after receiving a blowjob, while high on some great quality Maryjane.
"Ah… much better… Now… let's think."
The possibility that I'd been erased from existence crossed my mind, but it made no sense. If I was erased from existence, why would everyone I knew be gone as well?
I crossed that idea out.
I woke up, in the body of my Skyrim Character, in Japan, and for whatever reason, I did not exist. Also, everyone I knew didn't exist either. So, let's get the facts straight first.
Google Search – Year.
"2018? Okay, that's the same."
"October?" I rose my eyebrow at that. October. Where I was, it was March. So, not only was I in Japan, I arrived in Japan seven months later.
Seven months? What the hell –
I rubbed the side of my forehead slowly. None of this was making any sense, then again, I was my Skyrim Character, none of this was supposed to make sense.
I tried to think of a reason. One reason that wasn't completely asinine that would explain everything so far, from me being a Skyrim Character, to waking up in Japan, to suddenly no longer existing, along with, pretty much everyone I've ever known.
Where the fuck is the logical connection?!
Zero. ZERO. There was ZERO connection.
"Fuck it, I'm not dealing with this while sober. Nord Mead please."
The bottle appeared in my hand, which I haphazardly uncorked and gulped down. It burned the back of my throat for a while, and made me cough a little bit from the strength. God damn – this was alcohol. Jack Daniels had nothing on this shit. And it was sweet too – instead of being that bitter fucking crap that Budweiser and Guinness shoved down our throats.
"I'm drinking Nord Mead inside a changing room in a store in Japan. Fuck… what has my life become?"
Ah… good fucking point, where in Japan was I anyway? If this was Tokyo or some other bigshot town, maybe I'd catch the sights or something, while contemplating how fucked up my life had become.
I reached for the mobile phone again, this time, opening up Google Maps.
Kuoh Town, Nagoya, Japan
I blinked. I blinked again and stared at the Map, wondering if my eyes were deceiving me. Kuoh did not fucking exist. It was the setting of a wank-worthy anime and light novel with another horribly indecisive harem protagonist, and 'devils' who would be an insult to Lucifer if Lucifer was real.
"You're shitting me."
I immediately typed in what I couldn't believe I was typing into Google Maps of all things.
40 Minutes Away.
Would you like to get directions?
"You've got to be fucking kidding me."
I stared at the phone. Stared at the building. Stared at the phone again.
And then I swore.