Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to J. Whedon. The characters of Star Wars belong to G. Lucas or whoever owns those rights at the moment. All are used here without permission, No copyright infringement is intended.
Set after the Fall of the Hellmouth in Buffy and the Phantom Menace in Star Wars. Pairing is Buffy and Obi-Wan. Slow burn, friends first!
Please note, this is a comedy but hopefully with an interesting plot. Prepare yourself for overblown actions, fun poking at favorite characters (no real bashing) and swings between comedy and tragedy. Those with a sense of humor bypass are probably better off walking away now.
The rest of you, sit back and enjoy.
Oh, and if you like it, please review it. I love reading reviews. It also has the added benefit of making me write faster.
"Andrew! Andrew, use the crossbow!"
Buffy ducked as a huge axe swung over her head and then used her magical sword to stab upwards. The swords sharp edge sinking through the yellow feathers on the creature's chest, a plume of orange blood squirting towards her. She jumped back, trying to avoid the blood. The snake-headed demon screamed, the high-pitch noise hurting her enhanced Slayer hearing, before it fell to the floor and dissolved into a pool of goo and feathers.
Two more demons burst from the shadows behind her. As she spun to face them, she caught a glimpse of Andrew. The plump, blonde Watcher-in-training half-crouched half-lay on the dirty floor of the factory, crossbow lying discarded beside him as he strained, reaching for something under a large stack of shelving.
What was he doing?
She kicked out, sending one feathered snake-head into a stack of twisted, rusting shelving that collapsed from the impact of the large creature. Instinct made her dart and roll, just as a huge axe came down slamming into the floor where she'd been only a moment ago. Taking advantage of the demon's weapon now being embedded into the floor, she sprang to her feet, the sword coming around in a wide arc and slicing cleanly through the back of the demon's neck.
Buffy came to a halt, instincts on high alert, scanning the empty factory, using her Slayer senses to sense for danger. Nothing pinged at her spidey-sense and the only noise she heard was Andrew scrabbling and grunting as he tried to reach whatever it was that had rolled under the shelving stack.
"It's okay! I've got her!" Andrew scrabbled to his feet waving his Princess Leia figure. He didn't bother picking up the crossbow, instead, he began looking over the action figure for damage.
Buffy rolled her eyes. What had the newly formed Watchers Council been thinking of sending him to her to train? Was it pay-back for having walked away from them all after the fall of the Hellmouth? From the moment he'd arrived she'd had to put up with his Sci-Fi addiction. Within hours of arriving his collection of dolls and models had begun to take over the house. She'd had to put her foot down and ban them. Not that he took much notice. That morning, she'd noticed a grinning Captain Kirk posing on the counter and some random robot staring at her from the top of a fridge when she'd been eating breakfast.
It felt as if there was no escape from Sci-Fi in the entire house; if he wasn't watching a movie in the living room or playing with his pose-ables in his bedroom, he was trying to educate her while making food. In fact, if it wasn't for those impressive food cooking abilities she'd have sent him packing after that first night, because the guy was going to be a terrible Watcher.
"Ugh, Look at my boots!" she found herself yelling. She'd only bought them last week in a 50% sale at the mall."They've got orange goo all over them!"
Her once stylish yet affordable tan leather boots with silver clasps and a perfect height heel for the fashion-conscious Slayer were now ruined (RUINED), with orange demon goo-blood. All because Andrew had been drooling over his Special Edition Princess Leia action figure, instead of using the crossbow on those demons with the snakey heads and the body of Big Bird from Sesame Street.
Andrew didn't even bother looking over. "Umm, it might wash off?" He was peering at the arm of his Princess Leia figure, no doubt worried in case it had chipped.
Buffy narrowed her eyes at his lack of concern. The Goof had fallen to his knees as soon as the first Big Bird Demon burst out the shadows, his precious his action figure rolling across the factory floor and crossbow forgotten. This was the final straw. She'd had enough, she was going to ring Giles in the morning and tell him the Nerd was untrainable, she was sending him back.
Her eyes fell to her boots once more and grimaced at the splatters that covered them. Orange goo? Why would Sesame Street's Big Bird demons even bleed orange goo?
"Wash off?! Wash Off? I'm going to slice and dice your dolly for this, Andrew." She darted across and waved her sword menacingly at Princess Leia.
"Nooooo!" Andrew clutched the figure to his chest, his chin wobbling and eyes full of horror. "You don't understand!" he wailed. "If only you knew the importance of Princess Leia to the galaxy! She's like you, Buffy. Except she has a twin brother who does all the fighting." Already forgetting about the demons and her boots, he continued, "I've got Obi-Wan Kenobi on order. Collectables Monthly have brought out a special edition release and he's being delivered tomorrow. I'll show him to you, Buffy, when I unpack him. You'll love him."
"Why should I care about Obi-Wan?" She snorted as she put her sword away into its scabbard. "He's only a fictional character and that whole Star Wars thing you're into is really crap-"
"I wish... I WISH I could take you to the Star Wars dimension and make you love it as I do."
"Andrew! You know better than to say the 'W' word..." She hissed, looking about her.
There was the sound of laughter echoing around them and then, "WISH GRANTED"
"Andrew! What have you done? Arghhhh..."