Part 4: Well, This Is Confusing
"What do you think you're doing, kissing my girlfriend? Back off!" an uncharacteristically aggressive Sunny snarled, eyes flashing ferociously.
"Hey, hey, hey, she kissed me!" an uncharacteristically defensive Bog shot back, cringing slightly and putting up his hands in a show of innocence.
"Well, you weren't trying very hard to tell her the truth, were you, you sneaking elf?"
"I tried, I did try, and it didn't work! And I am scarred for life now, thank you very much!"
"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Marianne bellowed.
Both Bog and Sunny fell silent.
Marianne glared back and forth between the goblin and the elf, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed. "Now, what is going on? And it had better be good."
Dawn, Bog, and Sunny all started talking at once.
"I went to Sunny's house for our picnic and Sunny was there, but he wasn't Sunny…"
"I was minding my own business and now I am STUCK in this ridiculous, tiny body…"
"Man, do you know how terrifying Bog's mom is? Like seriously…"
Marianne cut them all off once again. She pointed at her sister. "Dawn, what the heck is all this about?"
Dawn took a deep breath. "Well, Sunny and I were supposed to go on a picnic this morning, but Sunny says he's Bog, not Sunny, which I thought was pretty weird. But, like, he can answer questions that only Bog should be able to answer, so I think he really is Bog, and they've, like, switched bodies or something."
Marianne raised an eyebrow. "OK, is this a joke, because it is way too early for jokes."
"NO!" all three shouted emphatically.
Marianne raised her hands. "OK, OK." She pointed at the elf. "So, you're telling me that he's actually Bog?"
"Yep, I asked him about him threatening to rip my wings off in the dungeon and he totally knew the answer!"
"You threatened to rip her wings off!?" Bog (Sunny?) yelled in outraged horror.
"Well, I had to find some way of getting her to shut up, seeing as someone tossed a love potion in her face!"
"That's still a mean thing to say to a poor, innocent princess!"
"Hey, I can take care of myself!" Dawn huffed, putting her hands on her waist, orange wings flaring.
Marianne still didn't look entirely convinced that the three of them weren't attempting to pull her leg, a highly skeptical slant to her eyebrows. She cut the trio off again and pointed at the one that looked like Sunny. "Uh OK, Bog, what did I find out that you like on our last date?"
The elf's eyes narrowed then widened with a look of indignant horror. "MARIANNE, you can't ask that. That's private!"
"Well then, if you know the answer, I'll know it's really you."
Grumbling, the elf drug a hand down his face in a very Bog-like gesture before muttering, "I…I like it when you nibble on my ears."
"Ooo, Sunny likes that too," Dawn said brightly.
"DAWN!" the one that looked like Bog cried in a mortified voice.
"Oh oops, sorry Sunny Wunny."
"OK, OK, I believe everyone," Marianne said, waving her hands to get their attention once again. She pinched the bridge of her nose in a summons for patience. "OK, so do either of you know how it happened?"
"No clue, last night I went to bed like I always do, and the next thing I know I'm in the Dark Forest stuck inside this spiky monstrosity. Like, how do you actually live in this thing, man?"
"I have no bloody idea. One moment I was my normal self, and the next I'm the size of a wingless acorn."
"Well, that's…not helpful at all," Marianne muttered. She sighed heavily. "If we have no idea what made it happen in the first place, then we have no way of figuring out how to get you both back in the right bodies again."
Everyone fell grimly silent as the stark reality of Marianne's words sunk in.
"Oh, oh, I have an idea!" Dawn interjected suddenly, her wings fluttering with excitement. "What about the Sugar Plum Fairy?"
"What about her?"
"Well, she knows all sorts of stuff about potions and magic, so maybe she'd have idea about what happened and how to fix it."
Marianne brightened. "Hey, that's actually not a bad idea."
"Sugar Plum, Sugar Plum Fairy." Sunny wrinkled his (Bog's?) brow, tapping a finger on his chin. "That reminds me of something, but what was it? Sugar Plum, Sugar Plum, Sugar Plum." He straightened suddenly, jabbing his hand in the air. "Aha, that's it! Shooter dumb hairy!"
Marianne glanced sideways at Dawn. "Are you sure they really have switched bodies and they're not just, you know, drunk?"
"No, no, no," Sunny said. "Shooter and dumb hairy fishes. It was the message from the mushrooms. 'A shooter and dumb hairy fishes will sneak for you.' That was the message."
"Geesh, you still haven't fixed the mushroom line, I see?" Marianne said with a raised eyebrow and a glance at Bog.
A very goblinish scowl crossed the elf face. "I've…had other things on my mind lately."
"ANYWAY," Sunny said, shooting a reprimanding glare at the two of them, "before I was so rudely interrupted… I thought it sounded like something that might make sense if you changed it around a bit. And when Dawn mentioned the Sugar Plum Fairy it clicked. I think it might have meant 'The Sugar Plum Fairy wishes to speak with you.' What do you think?"
"Oo, I think you're right," Dawn said.
"It could be," Marianne mused. "Anyway, I think Plum is probably our best bet."
"If that meddlesome, magic-fingered trouble-brewer is behind me having to stumble around in this stumpy body all morning, I'm going to stick her in a cage so dark and deep she'll never see the light of day again," Bog growled.
Dawn patted the top of his head. "Aw, don't be mean. We don't even know that she had anything to do with it, but she might have answers that could help us. And there are a lot worse things that could have happened to you, you know, Boggy."
"Bog," the goblin-in-elf-form grumbled.
Marianne raised an amused eyebrow and jerked her head towards the elf. "OK, well that one's definitely Bog. There's no doubt about that now."
She squared her shoulders and turned to face the Dark Forest. "Well, to find the Sugar Plum Fairy it is then. Come on."
And with that, the four of them headed into the forest in search of the illusive fairy.