Dealing out Some Justice
(AN: I do not own any of the characters from The Loud House. They are under the ownership of Chris Savino, the Loud House production team and Nickelodeon Studios.
So…please, don't sue me.)
Nighttime in Great Lakes City; a time of work for some, revelry for most and for others…criminal activity. In one particular part of town, there stood the Ace in the Hole Casino and Dance Club; Great Lake City's most popular hangout. It was a place where couples could have a night of passion and where singles could have a night to test their luck.
As the midnight hour slowly approached, the time came for all the workers to clock out for the night and head home. "See ya tomorrow, Herbie" said one of the bouncers to his partners, "you too, Rocco; give the missus my regards." With that said; the three men collected their things and bade their employer, Miss DiMartino, good evening.
"Have a good night, boys" she said with a sweet smile, "I will see you all in the morning." Then, just as Herbie headed towards the exit; the door suddenly swung open, knocking him down to the floor. Everyone gasped, upon seeing their colleague fall but none of them felt brave enough to speak harshly towards the assailant.
All staff members trembled fearfully as a man dressed in a fine suit waltzed into the room like the cock of the walk. His name was Don Anthony Soriano, known by many in town as The Loan Shark, and he was one of the country's most notorious crime bosses. Several waitresses winced slightly, as the light gleamed off of his rings and fang-like grin.
But not one person dared to speak, as he took a seat at the bar. It wasn't just Soriano's posse that they feared or the guns they carried with him. It was his teeth and the fear of what he might do with them, if anyone dared to speak up.
"Barkeep…a round of scotches on the rocks for me and my associates, please" he requested with a snap of his fingers, "and be quick about it, we're rather thirsty." As Loan Shark's entourage of bodyguards approached, the barkeep quickly began his work on making the drinks; all while sweating profusely with fear. While they were being prepared, Miss DiMartino nervously approached Don Soriano.
"Uh…Good e..e..evening, Sir" she murmured, "is there anything my workers and I can do to..." Don Soriano quickly held up his hand to DiMartino's, silencing her; as his drink was, at last being handed to him. After taking a sip, he smacked his lips with satisfaction and gazed at her intensely.
"Had a good night's work, I trust" he asked calmly, to which all gathered around him simply gave a silent nod in response. "Good, that's good…then, I guess you have enough to pay off this month's rent" he inquired suddenly "it's just about due." The entire casino echoed with sounds of alarmed gasps, upon hearing the mobster's words.
"B-But…I thought we still had another week to pay you" exclaimed Miss DiMartino, both shocked and bothered, "it can't be time to pay yet." After sampling another drink, the Loan Shark turned on his stool and faced Miss DiMartino with a wicked grin on his face. "I'm afraid that, due to helping repair those…unforeseen damages to your slot machines, last week; we had to push up the due date a little" he chuckled, "you understand; don't you my dear?"
His flunkies joined in on the laughter, which only seemed to further offend the casino staff. "HEY! The only reason there were any damages is because your pal over there got drunk and had a hissy fit after losing a game" shouted a young cocktail waitress, "we also had to use a little extra to help pay the dealer's hospital bills...after your man shot him." The leader of Soriano's bodyguards growled at the woman; as if he was offended by her words, somehow.
"Hey, ya dumb broad" he roared with outrage, "how do I know you and your hussy of a boss didn't try to cheat me, just for laughs?!" To say that Miss DiMartino was offended by such an accusation would be a gross understatement. But before she could speak up about the matter, more of her employees began calling out the Don on his behavior.
"This isn't the first time you called for rent too early either, ya fat pig" shouted the cigar vendor, "you did this last month and the month before!" Several more employees called out in outrage, from the barkeep to the stage musicians. Unfortunately, this all seemed to make Loan Shark feel quite bothered.
"You're just a bottom feeder, leeching off of decent, hardworking people; like you did to everyone else in this town" shouted a dancing girl, "someone outta gut you and leave you for the scavengers to pick at!" Enraged by this behavior, Soriano's team of bodyguards prepared to rush forward and lay waste to the whole room. But both Miss DiMartino and Don Soriano held up their hands and both sides swiftly fell silent.
After taking a moment to collect herself; Miss DiMartino approached the mob boss, took a knee and kissed his hand respectfully. "With all due respect, Don Soriano" she breathed out calmly, "I may need more time and more cooperation from your…associates, if I'm expected to pay our rent on time." Her group whispered silently hopefully amongst themselves, proclaiming that her wishes seemed rather fair and that the Loan Shark wouldn't dare deny her a favor.
After sampling one final drink, Don Soriano took both of Miss DiMartino's hands in his…and gripped them tightly; causing her to let out a pained squeal. "I'm afraid I must refuse, my dear" he stated, "I already helped you once before by helpin' you make this business of yours possible, three years ago…have you forgotten that?" Miss DiMartino winced softly, as the mobster's grip on her hands strengthened ever so slightly.
The guards all chuckled maliciously to each other, all knowing what was about to happen next. "After I helped you, back then; I asked only one thing in return" he growled while baring his teeth slightly, "to pay me on time, if you can't do that...there would be consequences!" Upon seeing the man's pointed fangs, Miss DiMartino started shaking with fear.
"Please, I…I will keep that promise, I swear" she pleaded desperately, "just give me a little more time!" The Loan Shark shook his head in refusal, grabbed hold of her left wrist and pulled out her arm slightly. Then, he proceeded to slowly draw back her sleeve with a malicious grin; which caused his men to laugh maliciously.
"I'm sorry, dear" he chuckled, "but everyone needs to be disciplined from time to time, when they fail to follow the rules." While licking his lips, Don Soriano eased his teeth over towards Miss DiMartino's arm; getting ready to make the first bite. Enraged by such a disrespectful display, the staff attempted to help her.
Sadly, they were quickly outmatched by the mob boss' team of bodyguards. The wait staff struggled and strained to free themselves beneath the men holding them down. But try as they might, they couldn't so much as wiggle an arm free.
All they could do was lie there and watch, as their beloved employer was about become chum. Suddenly, there came a whooshing sound from above and something shattered through one of the club's high windows. This unforeseen object struck Soriano in the eye, causing him to unhand Miss DiMartino and stumble back in pain.
After regaining his footing, seconds later; the mob boss angrily swiped his hand over his one eye. This caused the object to clatter onto the floor, just inches away from Soriano's feet. With his right eye blazing red with irritation, he plucked the item off the ground and examined it.
"What is it, boss" asked one of the guards, "is it a poison dart or somethin'?" The rest of Soriano's men grumbled with annoyance at their partner's idea, while also muttering about how "stupid" he sounded. "Pal, you've been watchin' too many jungle explorer movies" one of them stated. All was silent, for about five seconds and then; Soriano let out a gasp of alarm.
"C'mon, you guys" he shouted, "pack up your stuff and scram before they get here!" After that, Soriano proceeded to reveal the item that struck him; a lone playing card. Normally, people like them wouldn't pay any attention to such a thing.
But when the bodyguards saw the black ace symbol printed on the front, they soon realized that they were in deep trouble. Then, just as Soriano and his men rushed through the exit doors; a bright light suddenly blinded them. "AH! Dang it, what's with the light show" grimaced Soriano while shielding his eyes, "who's doing this?!"
Seconds after he asked this, the crime boss suddenly noticed a shadowed figure standing in front of the light. "You all looked a little lost, Lone Shark" a voice chuckled, "thought we'd do you a kindness and offer a light." Each of the bodyguards quivered slightly, knowing full well who the voice belonged to.
At that moment, another figure took its place beside the first; posing heroically. Though the mobsters were still unable to see, they still saw some small features about the duo in front of them. One was a young man with snow white hair, a black mask wrapped around his eyes, a red leotard with an ace symbol upon his chest, a utility belt and black boots.
The fellow beside him was a young African-American wearing an eye patch over his right eye. He wore a Union Jack shirt, red gloves, black shoes and sported a curly mustache on his top lip. The gang soon realized that they found themselves, face to face with Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack.
"Hassling people for small change again; eh, Loan Shark" inquired Ace boldly, "we thought bottom feeders only ate the leftovers." Jack clicked his tongue in disapproval, mildly scolding the mobster for also hassling a lovely lady like Miss DiMartino. Don Soriano growled with annoyance, he always loathed being called a shark...but he did his best to keep cool, in spite of this.
"Ace, my friend" Soriano chuckled pleasantly, "how good to see you again, how's life been treating you?" Just as the mob boss was about to rest his hand upon the hero's shoulder, Ace backed away slightly; all while glaring at him."Don't be coy with us, Soriano" Ace growled, "the police may buy into your charms…but not us!"
Feeling impatient and wishing to hurt the duo for his "rudeness," one of Soriano's men attempted to move forward. But Loan Shark quickly blocked his path with his cane, mildly surprising both his bodyguard and the young hero. "You sure we can't go inside and talk this over with a drink" he offered, "maybe have a little game of cards?"
Ace shook his head in response, informing Soriano that he only preferred to drink soda and he only used his cards for heroic purposes. "Well, then; I suppose there's no way to dance around the issues any further" he sighed "though, I really hoped you'd see things my way here." With that said, he snapped his fingers and signaled for his men to arm themselves...but neither Ace nor Jack seemed afraid. "If you're looking for a fight, Loan Shark; it's only fair to tell you you're going to lose" Ace stated "so...we hope you'll see things our way and surrender."
These words caused the Soriano Gang to suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, much to the casino staff's surprise. "And just what makes youse guys think you're gonna win, huh" shouted a guard, "there's twenty of us here and only two of you here." Not long after this statement was made, one of the other bodyguards suddenly asked how the two of them got to the casino on their own.
With that said, the lights shining on Ace and Jack suddenly shut off and everyone else could see a large van standing behind Ace and Jack. At first glance, it looked like an ordinary minivan; one that anybody in town might drive. But then, the mobsters soon noticed the banner painted on the side; which showed off a series of card symbols.
"What makes you think we came alone?" questioned Ace, gesturing at the van; "if you think we are a handful, just wait until you meet a few...friends of ours." Suddenly, the doors slid/popped open and out came Ace's faithful team; The Full House Gang. At first, Soriano's men didn't feel all that afraid; thinking they were just a group of "little girls playing dress-up." But Loan Shark snarled at them viciously, reminding everyone to never underestimate their opponents.
"Alright, everyone" Ace called out, "ready to deal out some justice?" From inside the van, there came a loud and collective cheer and the Full House Gang soon leapt into action. As the Gang took their stand before the criminals, Don Soriano became annoyed at the sight of his men standing frozen with fear.
"Don't just stand there, you idiots; take them down" he roared, beating a few men with his cane; "show these lil' ladies what happens when they mess with the wrong people." With that command, two bodyguards rushed forward and confronted The High Card; who was texting idly on her communicator/phone. Despite being enemies, the two men decided to be "fair" with her; due to being a lady.
"We'll give ya one chance, Missy" one of the guards stated, "surrender and we'll only rough ya up just a bit." High Card ceased typing and glared softly at the two goons. "Puh-lease, you think I'm scared of you two clods" she shrugged, "I live in a house with nine rowdy siblings; you're nothing, compared to that." With that said, she soon went back to typing on her device.
Offended, the two guards charged at her like a pair of mad bulls; intending to tackle the heroine to the floor. But much to everyone's surprise (mostly, the casino staff) High Card did not move an inch; it was as if baiting them. Finally, as the two men got close enough, she reached behind her back and drew out a bolas with two large die on both ends.
With a flick of the wrist, she twirled her weapon about and struck both men soundly between their eyes; leaving large card symbols imprinted upon their faces. Elsewhere; another, much bigger guard proceeded to grab the bar's cash register and was prepared to run off with it.
But before he could reach the door, the man suddenly heard the cry of "WIPE OUT, INCOMING!" Upon turning around, the guard was soon caught in a tidal wave of sparkling water. The wave sent him flying out onto the streets, where he crashed unceremoniously up against a pile of trash on the sidewalk.
As the other bodyguards looked towards the bar; they spotted The Royal Flush, one of the younger members of the Full House Gang, standing by the drink dispensers and smiling proudly. At another part of the room, the Eleven of Hearts and the Queen of Diamonds were soon surrounded by five burly guards. But despite this, both ladies appeared relatively calm.
"Five against two…I like those odds" quipped the blonde teen, "wait…does that mean we've got the upper hand or them?" The Queen of Diamonds rolled her eyes softly and gestured for her older sibling to tie her belt around her. Eleven of Hearts did as instructed and tied her sash/belt around the little one's waist, just as the guards suddenly closed in around them.
Once they got close enough, Queen of Diamonds smiled slyly and gave a little chuckle. "How about a little twirl, Sis" she chuckled, "time to have a little dance with these thugs!" Her older sibling got the idea and began swinging her around by her belt. Upon doing so, Queen of Diamonds proceeded to throw her crown; which flew around at a rapid speed (thanks in part to the spin.)
This combo successfully knocked out all the guards and both sisters high-fived each other in victory. Meanwhile, down by the stage; One-Eyed Jack was locked in the middle of a fierce fistfight with two guards. While there; Card Counter, the team's resident genius, was in the midst of making some calculations.
"If my plan is sound…which it almost always is, this should do the trick" she murmured with a lisp, "make haste to the stage, Night Club; set the sound system's volume control to its maximum level." Night Club gave a nod and signaled with the rocker's devil horn gesture, before heading to the system. "Hope these bozos came to dance tonight" she thought playfully, "'cause I'm ready to rock!"
After following her comrade's instructions, Night Club chuckled pleasantly and plugged in her instrument. "Get ready to party your sunglasses off, meatheads" she called out loudly, "'cause Night Club's bringin' the tune!" Sensing what was to come, the Full House Gang quickly plugged up their ears for safety.
But the bodyguards, on the other hand realized too little too late what was going on. After Night Club delivered a mighty power chord, the resulting blast of sound from the speakers sent the bodyguards flying into the air. When they finally landed on the buffet table, the men's ears rang louder than an air raid siren.
With their bodies sore and their duds soiled with all manner of food stains, the men attempted to get back on their feet. But then, in the blink of an eye; they were swiftly struck down by a small brown blur. Said blur was none other than Strong Suit, the "muscle" of the Full House Gang.
Like a set of downed bowling pins, Soriano's men collectively fell hard onto the floor; some landing unceremoniously on the tables that were stationed about. "Better call the army, Soriano" exclaimed Strong Suit, "maybe they can loan you some tougher guys." The don snarled under his breath and ordered what remained of his men to draw out their weapons.
Without a second thought, each bodyguard drew out mini Tommy Guns and took aim. Sensing what was to come, Ace ordered everyone to find cover. Afterwards, the Gang ordered the casino staff to do the same and they followed suit.
But just before everyone took cover, one of Soriano's men suddenly shot Miss DiMartino in the side side. Ace quickly rushed to her side and inspected the wound; hoping it wasn't serious. "Don't worry" Miss DiMartino winced softly, "it is only a scratch, I can manage."
Not wanting to take a chance, Ace asked the Eleven of Hearts to use her belt and tie it around the wound. While this was happening, he tried his best to think of a plan of attack. "It's no good, Ace" sighed Strong Suit, "even at my best…even I couldn't take them all on at once.
Everyone tried their hardest to think of what to do, after that. But with Miss DiMartino slightly injured and the Soriano Gang still fully stocked with ammo, the Gang senesed there were few chances to turn things around in their favor. Then, Ace suddenly felt something tugging at the hem of his cape.
He turned around and saw the littlest member of their team, The Deuce smiling up at him. But soon after that, his nostrils were assaulted by the pungent aroma of her dirty diaper. "This is one of the worst times to get a stinky, sweetie" groaned Ace, plugging his nose, "we can't change you now, I'm afraid."
The Deuce shook her head and pointed at her diaper; hoping he'd get the message. It took a while for it to happen but when it did, Ace finally understood what she wanted to tell him. "Everyone, time to clear the room" quipped Ace, taking Deuce's diaper in hand, "both figuratively and very literally!"
As everyone took in a quick inhale of clean breath and plugged up their noses, Card Counter handed protective masks to each member of the casino staff. "Trust me, you will all thank us for these" she stated, heading back into position; "it is for your own safety." With that done, Ace took in a breath and threw the diaper over his shoulder towards Soriano's men.
At that moment, one of the bodyguards briefly ceased firing and spotted the projectile heading toward them. Before anyone could react, the diaper struck the floor; which then caused a small mushroom cloud of stank to fill the room. Soriano and his men hacked and gagged violently, upon smelling the rancid aroma.
"For Heaven's sake" cried the mob boss, "what is that family feeding that child?!" Once the mobsters were all temporarily incapacitated, the Full House Gang took immediate action. Each one of them swept in and proceeded to throttle each member of Soriano's group.
In the end, Ace and the Gang emerged victorious…in spite of the cloud of dirty diaper smell that still lingered and the "minor" property damage around them. "Do not worry, leader" the Card Counter quickly interjected before heading towards the van, "I know of a way to fix this." After being in the vehicle for almost a minute or two, Card Counter slowly brought out what looked like a large vacuum-like device and rolled it to the middle of the room.
"What do you propose to do with that?" murmured a dancing girl, "are you planning to vacuum out the room?" Rather than answer her, the young heroine drew out the house and pressed a series of buttons on the device. After that, the hose began sucking in the green and brown stench cloud around them; until nothing but clean air remained.
After that, Card Counter pressed another button on her machine and a pink mist suddenly spewed out of the hose. At first, everyone feared for another stench spree and plugged up their noses. But their fears quickly faded, as the sweet scent of roses and honey soon filled each of their sinuses.
"It would seem that my Sour-to-Sweet Air Purifier device is a success" Card Counter said proudly "I told you all I would find a use for our broken down vacuum." While she did appreciate the young genius in (quite literally) cleaning the air, Miss DiMartino still asked what she intended to do about the damages to her establishment? With a confident smile and a crack of her knuckles, Royal Flush took a running pose and then…she suddenly zipped all about the room at a rapid speed.
In what seemed like a flash, she had miraculously cleaned and repaired all damages made to the room; from the broken tables to the water dispenser she...damaged moments ago. The casino staff stared in shock and awe of what they had witnessed, silently praising the girl on her skills. "I…an…and you…how did..." stammered one of the bouncers, "how the heck did you do that so quickly?"
The Royal Flush chuckled softly at the man and blew off some steam from her monkey wrench. "You think all this is impressive, see me when I'm off duty and then we'll talk" quipped Royal Flush boastfully, "I also do plumbing work...just so you know." The bouncers silently looked at one another for a moment and then, they burst out laughing.
"We'll have to take you up on that offer, Miss" the barkeep stated, "but we warn you...the bathrooms get rather messy here; especially after our patrons eat at the buffet." While everyone reveled in the young lady's skills; Loan Shark had, after moments of unconsciousness, finally awoken and proceeded to sneak away. But as he reached the door, he was sent flying backwards by a giant banana cream pie; which was fired out of a massive Jack in the Box.
The pie sent the mobster flying onto the dance floor, buried under a mound of cream and batter. Ace looked down at the defeated man and then at the box with a smile. "I was wondering when you would show up, Joker" chuckled Ace, "sorry you missed most of the party."
As if on cue, the box sprang open and out came a young lady in pigtails dressed as a jester. She bounced about like a mad pogo-stick, until she stopped at the mound of pie leavings and tasted it. "Mmm! Guess it's true what they say" she muttered, "nothing tastes sweeter than victory. HA-HA-HA! Get it?" Ace and the Gang sighed annoyingly at their comrade's jest and proceeded to handcuff Soriano; prepping him for the police to apprehend.
Afterwards, Miss DiMartino proceeded to thank Ace and Co. with tight hugs and handshakes of gratitude. "Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much" she gushed sweetly, "I speak for everyone here when I say we can't repay you enough for what you've done tonight." While the casino owner continued in her onslaught of thank you's, she failed to notice the dazed and dreamy looks on Ace and Jack's faces.
With the soft murmur of "buh-buh-buh," both of the young male heroes then proceeded to faint with glee. Miss DiMartino gasped in alarm, fearing the boys may have been hurt. But High Card simply chuckled and assured her everything was fine.
"They always get like this, when someone pretty thanks them" she giggles, picking up the young heroes; "they'll be fine once we've returned home, Ma'am." Miss DiMartino shared a chuckle of her own and called out one more thank you to the Gang, as they boarded their van. "My doors are always open for you all" she assured "don't be strangers."
"We appreciate the offer, Ma'am…but some of us are too young for places like this" chimed Strong Suit. "I am, however open for the buffet" Royal Flush interjected, "and I hope the dance floor will be open to the queen" Queen of Diamonds stated. giggled and assured everyone that there is something for everyone at The Ace in the Hole.
With that said, the Full House Gang (sans Ace and Jack) said their goodbyes and rode off. Unaware that someone, not far away from them, was watching them with great interest. As the shadowed figure waited for the van to disappear from sight, someone arrived behind him.
"My Lord, what do you wish of us now" murmured the second figure, "assemble the court, summon my brother" answered the supposed "leader." "Twelve days hence, we make ready to take this city and that caitiff churl, Ace Savvy shall not stand in our way."
(AN: Who are these odd figures, what plan do they have for Ace and the Full House Gang…and why do they sound like Ren Faire performers? Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure)
(Second AN: I know Lincoln's Full House Gang fights crime in an Ace Savvy version of Royal Woods. But I thought it'd be fun to add Ronnie Anne's new hometown of Great Lakes City into the story too. Lastly; as another "Easter Egg," Miss DiMartino is a character from the episode Study Muffin; for those unaware)