A/N: Written for the PMMM Flash Bingo, #000 - freebie!. And the last prompt on this card, so with this the PMMM flash bingo is complete! Also for the Diversity Writing Challenge, a61 - write a second person POV fic. It's technically first person, but most of this is still second person in that Homura is addressing Madoka throughout... so it's within the prompt and FFN rules.
a utopia for one
This is my confession, Madoka.
You'll never hear it. You'll never understand it. But still, I have to say it, because there's no-one else in the world I want to tell.
You were a better goddess than me: selfless and kind… and I was the only person unhappy with that. So I took that ethereal existence and turned myself into the demon who overthrows the god. And so we're here: in my world where you notice little cracks all the time and I have to rush and patch them up. But that's okay, because I went through countless lifetimes, before this life of goddesses and demons, and I didn't fall into despair. That, and the fact that you exist peacefully in this world, are my only saving graces.
That's an acceptable compromise. You were too kind, Madoka. You didn't do anything to the Incubators, in the end. You just took away the pain of the Puella Magi, took away their sorrow… But there were some sorrows you couldn't take, like mine. You sacrificed the thing that would bring me happiness to give happiness to everyone else.
I'm a jealous girl. I'm also selfish, cruel, willing to sacrifice everything except for the precious things close to my heart. And that's why you're a better goddess. But that's also why you failed.
If it wasn't me, it would have been the Incubators. It almost was the Incubators, but I couldn't allow them to have you, not when I saw the chance to have you back. So I took you, and your goddess powers, and created this world for us… and unlike you, I kept a tight grip on everything.
My mind won't crumble from it because it's all for you, only you, and that'll keep me going, just like it kept me going in all of those past times I'd lost you. The world may crack but I'll seal those cracks right back up. You may blink and suddenly see those cracks and struggle but I soothe you and take those doubts away with me. I won't let this world crumble. I won't let you struggle in this world.
This is my confession, Madoka. I created this world out of your own crumbling utopia for you and only you, and I won't let you go.