Hum a few bars 4

Previous chapters AYASEMF 68, 70, 71

"I love that movie," Amy said as the ending credits ran.

"So do I," Xander agreed, "it's the ultimate wish fulfillment movie. No people, but everything still runs. You have everything you ever need, but don't have to deal with the bills, bosses, or waiting in line."

"What movie should we watch next?" Amy asked.

"How about a horror movie?" Gwen suggested.

"Cheesy horror movie?" Xander asked Amy, recalling some of the titles he'd run across.

"It's a good excuse to jump in your dates lap and get some groping in," Harmony pointed out.

Xander looked from Harmony to Gwen. "Which one of you jumps in the other's lap?"

"She jumps in mine," Harmony said firmly, refusing to be the submissive one.

Gwen's eyes widened and she blushed, unable to think of anything to say.

"Why did you try to clear out a nest without anyone's help?" Willow demanded, the Scoobies having moved up rows while the movie was playing.

"You'd be jumping in my lap," Cordelia told Buffy.

"As if," Buffy replied. "I'm the slayer."

"I've got like a foot on you," Cordelia said.

"Four inches at most," Buffy grumbled back.

"I had Amy to help me," Xander told Willow, ignoring his ex arguing with Buffy, as neither was willing to give ground. "Besides you guys wouldn't have helped me, you'd have tried to stop me, so your 'help' would have been worse than useless."

Amy pulled Xander to his feet. "Enough arguing, let's go pick the next movie."

"They have a number of Tromaton movies as well as the popular slasher series," Xander said as Buffy and Cordelia wrested for a moment before Buffy pulled the larger girl onto her lap with a "Hah!"

Cordelia just glared at Buffy until she realized what she'd done.

"Sorry," Buffy apologized and let Cordelia get up. "But you know it's true."

"I know no such thing," Cordelia said, "and anyway we're not here for that!"

"Why are you here?" Gwen asked.

"Why are you here?" Cordelia fired back.

"We're on a date!" Harmony snapped out the first excuse she could think of.

"What?!"

"Friends can go on dates," Gwen said firmly. "We overheard what the two had planned and decided to invite ourselves."

"They are rude enough," Willow muttered.

"And why are you guys here?" Harmony asked with a smile.

"We… are also on dates," Willow replied, pulling Oz's hand.

"That's right," Buffy agreed grabbing Cordelia's.

"As 'friends', just like you two," Cordelia added.

Gwen slipped an arm around Harmony's waist and put her arm around her shoulder. "Really?"

"Really," Buffy said as she and Cordelia awkwardly wrestled to try and get the superior position on one another, and Buffy lost as Cordelia's height made it easier to get her arm around her shoulder.

Oz pulled Willow with him as he slowly backed down the row, careful not to make any sudden moves. Willow was so stunned at the two 'couples', who she hadn't even suspected were 'that way' that she quietly followed. "Never get involved in lover's quarrels," he whispered in her ear as he lead her to the back of the theater and pulled her into his lap.

'Lover's quarrels?!' Willow thought to herself wondering what all she'd been missing.

OoOoOoOoOo

"Are they making out down there?' Amy thought as she looked over the theater while Xander changed reels.

"Evil dead 2," Xander said with a grin.

"Oh," Amy said. "Next time I'm bringing soda!"

"I'll get the soda," Xander said. "How do you do that popcorn thing anyway?"

"If you've got something with a strong enough connection you can create a phantom of it," Amy explained, happy to talk shop.

"So… it's not real?"

"Eating popcorn isn't about being hungry, and it's practically an illusion itself, mostly air and salt," Amy replied.

"And you don't get butter everywhere," Xander realized.

"Or have to clean up," Amy agreed.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" he asked with a grin.

"Sure," Amy said. "It'll take a bit of effort, but I've got time, and then you can help with the spellcasting."

"Baby steps," Xander said. "Let's see if I take to it better than math."

Amy giggled, thinking he was making a joke, since they were both in AP classes.

"And we're live," Xander said as he flipped a switch and the opening credits started.

The two returned to their seats exchanging surprised glances at the four females cuddling in the row behind them.

Ten minutes later

A teen in dirty and torn clothes jumped out of the screen. "I'm free!" he yelled with a mad cackle before running out of the theater.

"Was that David Klienman?" Harmony asked in disbelief.

"Didn't he vanish last Halloween?" Gwen added.

"Who did he dress as for Halloween?" Xander asked.

"Billy from The Last Action Hero," Amy replied. "I remember because he accused several people of being better actors in their last movies, it was pretty funny."

"Oh!" the Scoobs chorused in understanding.

"That's all you're going to say?" Harmony asked annoyed.

"If you are really that curious ask after the movie is over," Xander said. "Now, shush!"

A little later

"Eeep!" Amy squeezed under Xander's arm. Xander leaned down and whispered. "I have a hard time believing you are scared of this movie."

She nuzzled his neck. "You're so brave," she said in a scared little voice before whispering, "I know, I'm just messing with them, play along."

Xander pulled her onto his lap. "Don't worry, I've got you."

Buffy made a squeaking noise. "Hands!" she hissed.

Amy pretended to nibble on his ear as she whispered, "She probably just did that to see if you'd look."

The two pretended to be a sickeningly sweet couple, and had a hard time not laughing at some of the over the top corny lines each said as the movie progressed, while ignoring the sounds of the two couples in the row behind them.

"Hail to the king, Baby!" Xander said along with Bruce on screen, and kissed Amy as the movie ended, both trying not to laugh.

"Wanna watch another movie?" Amy asked.

"I was promised some answers," Harmony reminded them, as she and Gwen straightened their clothes.

"Yeah, you were," Xander agreed. "Well, I need to shut down the projector, so Buffy can explain it to you."

"I'll help," Amy said, "projectors are tricky things."

Xander grinned and the two returned to the projection room.

"Want to check the arcade?" Amy asked.

"Let's check the office behind the concession counter first," Xander said, "they may have the keys to the machines."

"Good idea," Amy said, "saves on quarters."

Xander picked up his backpack, which he'd left next to the projector. He handed her the large wooden cross from his bag and took out a couple of stakes for himself. "Just in case."

"You really planned this out," Amy complimented him as they returned to the lobby.

"Murphy has it in for me, so I try and work out what he's planning in advance," Xander replied.

"Paranoia, a Sunnydale survival trait," she said shaking her head.

"This town is out to get us," Xander reminded her as they entered the lobby, "it's just really impersonal about it."

"Impersonal?" she asked.

"All the traps are labeled 'to whom it may concern'," he explained, making her giggle.

The pair stopped at one of the doors behind the counter and Xander slowly turned the knob before throwing the door open… revealing a large room with shelves on one side and a white board on the other over a counter that held a microwave and a sink.

Xander flipped on the light and ducked his head so he could look under the table in the center of the room before they entered it.

"Looks like they converted the storage room into a breakroom, at least in part," Amy noted. "Hey, cups!"

"Yes, but do they have an ice machine?" Xander asked as he poked around the boxes and cupboards.

"Behind the door," Amy replied. She lifted the hatch on the front. "And it's full."

"And keys," Xander said cheerfully, finding a pegboard with job titles and keys above the microwave.

"To the arcade," Amy said cheerfully.

"Let's check the other door real quick," Xander said, "just to make sure it's empty."

"Alright," Amy agreed, flipping off the light behind them.

This time when Xander threw open the door they didn't have to look under anything.

"Bathroom, single person," Amy noted.

"So the staff didn't mingle with the quests," Xander guessed. "I think a lot of businesses do that."

"Why did they clean the men's room if they had a bathroom like this?" Amy asked.

"Vamps are morons, don't expect them to do anything logically," Xander warned.

"I tend to avoid them, so I'll take your word for it," Amy said.

The pair had just started up the stairs to the second floor when they heard a scream.

"Crap," Xander said and dashed up the stairs faster than Amy could follow. Busting into the arcade he saw Buffy facing off against a trio of vamps, Oz and Cordelia tag teaming one, and Willow holding off another with a cross to protect Harmony and Gwen who were hiding behind her.

Xander pulled out a squirt gun and sent several streams of holy water towards the vamps facing Buffy, before tossing it towards Oz. Pulling out a stake he rushed the one facing Willow.

Even half blinded by the cross thrust in its direction the vampire was aware enough to spin around and face Xander, who tackled it, sending them both rolling across the floor, with the vampire coming out on top.

Oz caught the squirt gun with the side of his head, causing him to stumble back. Quick as a flash, the vamp was on Oz who was barely managing to hold him off.

Buffy didn't have the attention to spare to quip as she faced off the three vamps who were much too close for comfort, depriving her of most of her arsenal of kicks and throws.

"Flamare!" Amy gasped out as she reached the top of the stairs, causing the nose of one of the vampires Buffy was facing to catch fire.

Xander could feel the vampire's fangs graze his neck as he struggled against it, when Harmony snatched the cross out of Willow's hand and shoved it down the back of the vamp's pants. Xander took advantage of the distraction to grab a communion wafer out of his jacket pocket and slam it into its mouth while reciting the one Latin prayer he knew. There was a flash of blue light and the vamp fell limp as a corpse.

Cordelia had somehow gotten the vamp she and Oz were facing in a full nelson, while Oz stabbed it repeatedly in the chest with a leg broken off the pool table. "More to the left!" Cordelia ordered.

Buffy had used the brief distraction of one of the vamps catching fire to stake one and was working on another while the third was punching itself in the face frantically.

Xander kicked the cold limp body off himself and scrambled for his stake, not sure how long whatever he'd done would keep the vamp down. Finding his stake he quickly put it to good use… which did absolutely nothing to the demonic corpse.

"Wow, vicious," Gwen muttered impressed.

"Any time now!" Cordelia yelled as the vamp struggled and Oz poked yet another hole in its chest.

Xander rushed over to help, handing Oz a proper stake, which he promptly slammed into its heart, dusting it.

"About time!" Cordelia growled out, as Buffy staked her second vamp.

"Why isn't it burning?" Buffy asked as she and Amy watched the vamp repeatedly punch itself in the face to try and extinguish the fire on its nose.

"Illusions are easy," Amy said, having caught her breath, "but elemental conjuration takes me a couple of seconds. Flamare!"

The vamp flared up in a pillar of flame and collapsed into dust.

"This isn't wood," Oz noted as he examined the pool table leg he's been stabbing the vamp with.

"Realistic wood grain pattern though," Xander offered as he retrieved his squirtgun.

"You forgot to yell catch," Oz told him, sounding a little annoyed.

"A vamp was attacking Willow," Xander replied.

Oz nodded and held out his arms for a hug, which Xander responded to without thinking about it. "Thank, Man," Oz said sincerely.

"No problem," Xander replied.

"What did you to this vamp?" Buffy asked confused as she examined the vamp Xander had consecrated.

"I have no idea," Xander replied. "We should probably call Giles."

"Vampires?" Harmony asked. "The big reveal has to do with vampires, right?"

"That's part of it," Buffy agreed.

"All the supernatural stuff exists," Xander said. "Last Halloween everyone turned into their costumes thanks to a chaos worshipper, so our David who dressed as Billy jumped into the movie and got trapped somehow, probably when they switched reels."

"Ah… I have no idea how to handle that without panicking," Harmony said, "and I've already panicked tonight so that's out."

"Sticking that cross in his crack was inspired," Xander told Harmony. "Thanks!"

"Really? Thanks," Harmony said, being honestly complemented on quick thinking was somewhat rare for here.

"I've got Giles, you explain it to him," Cordelia said, handing her phone to him.

"So, vampires are real and you still went off into -" Gwen began.

"A nest, they deliberately entered a vampire nest," Buffy growled.

"Yeah, taking care to seal all portals against them as we went," Amy said. "We weren't planning on coming up here until daylight." She gestured to the skylight above them.

"He had it all planned out," Harmony said impressed.

"Everything," Amy lied. She pulled out a piece of paper and showed it to everyone. "We got the deed to the place for next to nothing."

"Of course they sell it for next to nothing, because everyone they took here died, so it was worthless to them," Willow realized.

"Ok, found out what happened," Xander said, "and what to do about it." He went through all the corpse's pockets.

"Are you mugging him?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"Why should I let his money dust with him?" Xander replied before putting the body on his shoulder. "Now, Giles said he'll dust with sunrise, but wasn't sure if he needed direct exposure to sunlight, so where's the roof access?"

"Everyone look for the stairs up, yell if you get attacked," Cordelia said dryly before stepping off to see where the various doors lead.

"Janitor's closet," Gwen called out as she checked a door behind a bank of videogames.

"Buffy, you may want to check this out," Willow called out from one end of the room, her and Oz having decided to check behind the authorized personnel only sign.

"What is it?" Buffy asked.

"Looks like private apartments," Oz guessed.

"Electrical room," Amy told Xander as she came out from behind a crane machine that was devoid of prizes. "The only way up seems to be through there. She gestured towards where the others had gone.

"They said it was private apartments," Harmony said. "You guys are so lucky. You should try having some parties here, it would really raise your standing."

"If you've actually sealed it against vampires it would be a lot safer than anywhere else," Gwen said with a shudder, she was seriously considering buying a flamethrower and carrying it everywhere.

"Or I could stop by a couple of times a month and seal the bronze," Xander said to the three girls following him.

"Yeah, a better idea then inviting a bunch of drunken teens into our place," Amy agreed.

The door into the private apartment lead to a living room with a second door and a hall leading off from it.

"Room one clear, but not clean," Buffy said.

"Vamps aren't the best housekeepers," Oz added.

"Found the stairs," Cordelia called from the end of the hall.

"Good, he's getting heavy," Xander said.

Buffy hurried past him. "Slayers first."

"Whoa," Buffy said from the top of the stairs.

"What whoa?" Xander asked as he climbed the stairs.

"Someone built a patio up here," Buffy replied.

Xander stepped out onto the roof behind her and looked around, dropping the corpse in the grass. "I was wondering where the third floor was. I had thought they'd simply taken up the first two with the theater because of the high ceilings."

"That was only half of it," Willow said having followed behind them with Oz. "That and the projector booth, which are on the second floor would only take up half of it, the small arcade and apartment take up the rest."

"Astro turf is so tacky," Cordelia complained.

"Sun deck, tanning area, hot tub, and bar-b-que grill," Oz listed off as he looked around. "If not for the skylight sticking up in the middle of the lawn it'd look like 50's suburbia."

"They lined the wall that looks like a third floor with a fence to complete the illusion," Amy said.

"Can't have a backyard on a theater, it'd look strange and take up parking space," Harmony said.

Xander placed a wafer on the door and recited the Latin prayer while the others poked around.

"And you got this place how cheaply?" Harmony asked.

"Not telling," Amy replied with a grin.

"Can we please watch another movie?" Gwen asked Xander.

"Sure," Xander agreed.

"Do you have the Princess Bride?" Willow asked.

"I don't think so, but we can check," Xander said, waving everyone inside.

"Is that a hickey on your neck?" Willow asked Buffy as they went down the stairs.

"It's a bruise!" Buffy exclaimed. "From the vampires!"

Amy was the last one in and Xander smirked. "An illusionary deed?"

"You're the only one who ever sees through it," she said with a shrug.

"Do you think we could buy this place?" he asked.

"Only if you can come up with about thirty grand," she replied.

"I'll get back to you on that," he said, closing the door to the roof behind them.

Typing by: fyrewolf5