Sometimes I get ideas for stories that I find interesting, even if I don't use them or they don't fit where the story is going. But I figure if I find them entertaining, them maybe others will as well.
I love that DVDs offer deleted scenes. With books, you might occasionally get appendices, but rarely do you get access to the parts of the creative process that get set aside for one reason or another.
First up, late me take you back to my younger years. On television in the 80s and 90s, there was the era of the after school special and the very special episode. This was a time of simplistic morality and ham-handed preachiness. For example, if a teenager got drunk, then they almost always would get in a wreck while drunk driving. Hell if it was sweeps, then they might have even killed a guest star or minor supporting character. Or god forbid if a girl tried marijuana at a party. In the next episode, she would inevitably be a homeless junkie prostitute. In other words, whatever "sin" or "adult behavior" that a teenager might get up to would always have ridiculously over the top consequences.
And if teenagers had sex, then this would definitely lead to a lesson on the terrors of AIDS (especially in the early 90s) or a teen pregnancy.
Therefore, our first very special episode:
When Harry Knocked Up Pansy.
She was late. The days had been stressful, and that could have been the cause. Going to his parents' graves. The Quidditch match. The Dementors. She remembered the screams, among them her own. Then Harry's Patronus. It was beautiful, enormous, powerful. It had left her engulfed in all the most pleasant thoughts and feelings. And it was then that she knew for certain.
She was pregnant.
Normally, she would have been terrified- she was still a month from turning fourteen after all. But she saw him there above her driving Dementors away by the dozens in a display of magic more immense than any teen should have been capable of.
He had lost his family before he could even remember them and then was abandoned to abusive muggle scum. Years of loneliness and pain. The idea of giving Harry a family was something she definitely wanted, but it would have been much better a decade from now. She had every intention of marrying him and bearing his children. How was she going to deal with it while still a student?
She worried as she sat in the hospital wing waiting for Harry to wake. Pansy was too consumed by her thoughts to care about Granger and Weasley joining her there. She briefly excused herself and went to the restroom. One incantation later, her hopes and fears were confirmed. Now she had to figure out what to do.
Things had been going so well too. Even in spite of the annoyance of professor Lupin seeking absolution for ignoring Harry for his entire life. But how would Harry take this news? This wasn't supposed to happen.
So she sat and thought by his side until Harry awoke a few hours later.
Madame Pomfrey tried to get him to stay in the hospital wing over night. Harry's response was furious- he called into question her skills and her morality. It seems he didn't think much of the woman- maybe ignoring the obvious signs of abuse and malnourishment Harry had suffered suggested that she didn't belong in child care since she had so badly failed at it. Harry got to leave that night as he left the matron in tears.
Strangely, Pansy actually felt less worried afterwards.
Once they got back to their private quarters, she asked Dobby to bring them a meal. Harry was extra affectionate that evening. Having to save his girlfriend from the Dementors had left him feeling the need to touch her, to hold her, just to make sure he hadn't failed. He could be such a romantic. She pleasantly sighed as she snuggled next to him in front of the fire. The wind and the rain were still howling outside, but in here with Harry, she was safe and content.
"Harry, I'm pregnant."
It was a conversation that was at first tense, but quickly gave way to Harry being supportive and ultimately pleased. Neither of them were thrilled by the idea of being teenage parents, but Harry had already sworn to himself to always protect Pansy, and taking care of their child together was just going to be a part of that now.
The first step Harry had taken was to get rid of Edmund Parkinson. With Dobby's help, he snuck into the Parkinson family manor and used the Imperius curse to force out a confession and a list of known Death Eaters. A round of questioning followed before a finale of forcing the evil prick to slit his own throat. Harry had no problem watching the abusive bastard bleed out. No one that hurt the woman he loved would ever be allowed to live.
Looking at the list of Death Eaters, he realized that even those who could theoretically be a threat to Pansy and his unborn child would have to be dealt with, permanently. He would not take any chances where his family was concerned, especially not after what had happened to his parents and the fate that had befallen his own orphaned self.
Looking once again at the now cooling corpse as well as the list of Death Eater names, Harry realized how badly justice had failed in the magical world. If no one else could be trusted to fix things, it would just have to fall on Harry's shoulders once again. Just as it had taken a miracle babe to deal with Voldemort the first time. The sheep were blind to the wolves in their midst. If Harry was going to be the shepherd, then it was time for him to cull the dangers from his flock.
Now, for good news, Pansy was overwhelmed with joy and relief at her father's death. They celebrated for the last few weeks of term. Thankfully, her bouts with morning sickness were rare and not nearly as bad as she feared they might have been.
Meanwhile, Harry did some research. Unfortunately, he could not find what he was looking for without traveling overseas. Therefore, he had to ask Parvati if her family ever traveled to India. This led to a conversation filled with flirting, blushing, and giggling before he finally got to the answer he was looking for- international port keys.
Thus, Harry wrote to Vogruk of Gringotts about acquiring everything they would need for a trip. The first week of their holiday break went as one might expect- Harry treated Pansy to whatever she wanted as they celebrated her birthday and then Christmas. But a couple of days later, they gathered some things for their vacation and went to Gringotts. Vogruk had prepared their passports as well as the port key that would take them to and from Kanyakumari, a small town at the southern tip of India.
Now, the reason why they were going there was, well, two fold. First, it would be a beautiful vacation and a place they would never forget, not to mention how nice it would be to go somewhere warm, and it would be Harry's first chance to see the sea. But moreso, it would be where they could get married.
While England still had some old laws in place that would have allowed Harry, as an emancipated minor, to marry, Pansy's status would have made things unexpectedly murky. Technically, as her legal guardian, he could sign off on her marrying someone, even himself. But as she was still under age, it could have been contested, and neither of them wanted to deal with any unnecessary legal proceedings.
However, that would not be a problem in India, or at least magical India. Because of this, they would wed there, and that was all it would take. England would have to recognize it legally. Member nations of the ICW had to respect each other's laws and customs as long as there were no human rights' abuses. Even in the aftermath of Grindlewald and World War II, there were still plenty of problems, but accepting marriage licenses from outside their boundary was far too minor a thing for the United Kingdom to contest, even in the case of one of their most famous citizens.
Since they were out of the country, the New Year's Eve party at the Malfoys had to be skipped. When Pansy told Harry of her ideas of how to take down that family, Harry just smiled, kissed her and said not to worry about it. He would take care of everything.
As the winter turned to spring, for the most part their lives continued as they had before. People were surprised to find that Harry had married Pansy, but that just changed the rumors going around about them. For awhile, it was thought quite the romance. He had saved her from her evil father, and they were clearly star-crossed lovers. The pureblood Slytherin girl with the half-blood Gryffindor who grew up with muggles.
At the same time, there was a series of deaths. Shortly after his release from Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy's conscience apparently became too much. Much like Edmund Parkinson, he wrote out a confession of his crimes as a Death Eater before committing suicide, slitting his wrists. Or at least, it looked like suicide.
It was oddly similar to the Parkinson case, but as Malfoy had been unaware of that death while rotting in Azkaban, it was possible that it was all just a coincidence.
However, that doesn't explain how the Daily Prophet got a copy of his confession at the same time as the DMLE. Or why his left sleeve was rolled way up to display the faded Dark Mark tattoo.
Or the half dozen other suicides that all followed that same pattern.
At Hogwarts though, things were normal enough for Harry and Pansy. They went to class, Harry played Quidditch, and he even socialized when she made him. But Harry was much more protective of her, and it wasn't long before Draco Malfoy learned his final lesson.
You see, he had owed Harry a life debt from when the Dementors stormed the Quidditch pitch. But he either didn't know or care about it. Draco harassed Harry and Pansy as often as possible until his mouth wrote one last check his ass couldn't cash.
Calling Lady Potter a whore was really not the brightest move.
Raising his wand against them was even more foolish.
And when Harry taunted him about his Death Eater father confessing his crimes before slitting his wrists, well the idea of trying to use the killing curse against its only known survivor was especially moronic.
Because magic doesn't like betrayers of life debts. Not at all.
So, the halls of Hogwarts saw the end of the Malfoy line as he keeled over from a magical backlash.
Only his weary mother mourned the loss. Even his supposed friends in Slytherin weren't sad to see Malfoy go. Draco was such an arrogant little shit, and now they wouldn't have to listen to his braggadocio.
Of course, Albus Dumbledore lamented the tragic loss of such a "promising" young man.
Yeah, right. Promising in that he would treat everyone like scum and get away with it as long as the money lasted. That little speech saw the last of Harry's respect for the old man die, and die hard.
Snape lamented only the fact that he couldn't punish Harry for it as he hadn't even raised his wand against Draco.
The student body of Hogwarts now was a bit leery of Harry, especially after Sirius Black once again broke into Hogwarts only to be stopped in an attack against Ron Weasley. It seemed being around Harry Potter was dangerous.
Things did pick up quite a bit after he led Gryffindor to win the Quidditch cup, though.
Before the end of the school year, there would be one more brush with death for our heroes.
In a confrontation with Sirius Black in the Shrieking Shack.
The cast was all there: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Scabbers, Black- and they were eventually joined by Lupin and Snape as well.
Unfortunately for most of them, Pansy was now more than 6 months pregnant when they went down the hole underneath the Whomping Willow. Harry had forced Dobby to take Pansy back to their quarters as there was no way he would let her be in any sort of danger.
Pansy, of course, ordered Dobby to go back to Harry and watch his back.
Harry was in no mood to deal with traitors, conspiracies, and old grudges. Once the truth came out, Harry saw just how badly he had been screwed over by all of these adults. The actual traitor, Pettigrew. The coward who abandoned him for twelve years, Lupin. And the godfather who chose revenge over his duty, Black.
Harry stunned them all so he could figure out what to do.
But first, he had some questions for the Potions teacher.
Why, if he owed James Potter a life debt, did he treat Harry so terribly? Why did he treat most of the students like dirt, for that matter? He clearly hated teaching, so why was he at Hogwarts? And why did Dumbledore let him get away with all this bullshit?
Well, a few spells to restrain him and one Legilimens later, Harry would get his answers.
Some of them were not surprising. He had already guessed that the creep had a crush on his mother and resented his father because of it. Thankfully, his nightmare wasn't true as his mother had never been more than a friend to Snape.
The disgusting cretin claimed to have loved her.
A woman he called a mudblood.
And years later, a woman he condemned to death.
Spying for Voldemort, overhearing part of a prophecy that sent the Dark Lord after Harry and his parents.
Of course, he asked Riddle to spare her. Yeah, murder her husband and infant, but leave her alive for him. Like a fucking prize. Surely she would have been grateful to him for such an act of kindness- enough even to finally be his.
There would never be anyone Harry would ever hate with every ounce of his being more than Severus Snape. The "remorseful" Death Eater's fate was sealed.
However, now Harry had an opportunity.
Lupin had annoyed him all year long, and no pitiful looks or half-assed apologies would ever make up for the twelve years he just forgot about Harry.
Pettigrew would have to die, obviously.
But Black... Black angered him most of all. Harry was months away from having a child of his own now. Black had claimed to love him. But when Harry needed him most, at fifteen months bleeding in a crib looking down at his mother's corpse, Black threw him away. Just as the rest of the magical world threw him away. A baby he had sworn to protect and care for.
If Sirius Black had done what he had sworn to his parents, Harry would never have even had to meet the Dursleys, let alone be their abused slave for most of his life.
And now, Harry had all of these men in his grasp. Their wands were all right here as well.
He decided to use the wand he had taken from Snape. He gave the bound teacher his most wicked grin as he showed him his wand now in Harry's hand.
First, he obliviated and stunned Ron and Hermione. They would just get in his way otherwise.
He then restrained the other three men.
He awoke Black first. Harry needed him to bare witness and understand. Black wanted his revenge. He wanted Pettigrew to die.
Harry obliged with his first killing curse. It wasn't hard to summon up the shear loathing needed to kill the rat.
Black was shocked that a teenage Harry could do that.
Of course, Black didn't know that Harry had already killed several people.
He awoke Lupin and then gave Black a history lesson about his life and the lack of Lupin in it. His time with the muggles. His childhood spent in a closet. And how only this year, when Dumbledore had summoned him and allowed it, had the werewolf finally reappeared in Harry's life.
A moment later, there was only one marauder left alive. The second killing curse was easier than the first.
Snape's expressions would have been amusing to Harry if he was watching the greasy sleaze. Shock at how awful the boy's life had been. Fear at seeing how magically powerful he was. A moment of satisfaction at seeing two of his old schoolmates die before realizing that Harry was fully capable and willing to murder people in cold blood. And with that, complete terror. Because he knew that Potter would not let him leave the room alive.
Black wailed and ranted at Harry. How could he do such a thing?
Harry told him that life had taught him that there was no justice except that which he created for himself.
And that since Black had thrown him away all those years ago, he allowed Black to see the vengeance he wanted against Pettigrew carried out.
One last wish for the condemned man.
"Even in death, my parents meant more to you than I did. It's only fitting that I should help you rejoin them."
Which only left the Death Eater.
Harry set Snape's wand down. He picked up Lupin's and turned to Snape with an icy glare. There really was only thing he had left to say.
For his perverted obsession with his mother.
For how he "repaid" the life debt he owed his father.
For hating Harry merely for existing.
For the years of sadistic "teaching."
For sending Riddle to wipe out the Potters.
For letting the spawn of Death Eaters run roughshod over the school.
For joining a group of murdering, raping, torturing psychopaths and all the crimes he must have committed with them.
For being a worthless, cruel, petty, miserable excuse of a man.
Finally, Harry's voice grew tired from shouting the curse over and over again. Snape was twitching, his own vocal chords having been shredded from constant screaming.
He finished Snape off with a cutting curse and let the bastard bleed and twitch on the floor till he grew still and the blood flow stopped.
Now, time to come up with the perfect story...
Harry Potter became a father on his fourteenth birthday. Alexandria Marie Potter was twenty inches long and weighed eight pounds 9 ounces. She had her father's distinctive green eyes, but otherwise mostly resembled her mother. Pansy threatened to do all sorts of terrible things to Harry if he ever thought of coming near her vagina again. Thankfully, Harry had toughened up a bit after dealing with months of a crankier than usual hormonal wife.
In years to come, he would always say that it was the best birthday he'd ever had. Holding his chubby baby girl in his arms for the first time even deafened him to the threats of castration.
That summer, there were no dreams of red-eyed baby creatures and giant serpents. Only a young family learning to adjust to its newest member.
They would never be more thankful for Dobby.
That fall, Hogwarts would be glad for the distraction of the TriWizard Tournament. It helped to alleviate the absence of the school's most famous student. Harry and Pansy decided to be tutored at home as neither one was willing to miss out on any part of their daughter's life.
Without Harry's participation, Fleur Delacour was able to pull off the come from behind win as she made her way through the maze with much less trouble than either of her opponents.
The fact that there was no portkey to a graveyard would have been a great relief to her.
Instead, a wraith was possessing small animals deep in a forest thousands of miles away.
Harry and Pansy paid it all little mind. Little Lexy was far too cute.
The mysterious series of deaths slowed to a crawl for a time. Harry needed to get some amount of sleep after all, and planning murders was hard enough without dealing with an infant.
After a year though, with their daughter getting big enough to begin walking, talking, and doing all sorts of ridiculous accidental magic- opening or removing Pansy's shirts and tops to have access to her boobs was a favorite, and Harry never got tired of that show- eventually the parents started scheming again.
While they learned a lot from their teachers, enough for both of them to do very well when they took their OWLs with their former classmates in 1996, they both spent time self-studying things that could help them remove the rest of their potential enemies. All sorts of spells for concealment, not to mention tracking charms as well as a few particularly nasty curses.
No one shed any tears when Fenrir Greyback turned up dead, although the rather gruesome state of the corpse was remarked upon by the auror who first investigated. However, after years of Snape shafting people on Potions teaching, the auror department was in pretty bad shape. The lack of funding contributed to by the peace time era as well as corruption that pushed money into places where the politicians could steal as much as possible really didn't leave much room for the ministry to be efficient, even for those who wanted to do their jobs properly.
Slowly, over the rest of the 1990s, unexplained deaths continued. Walden MacNair was one of the worst, a member of the ministry who was found in his own home's basement surrounded by the corpses of his human victims. When a ministry official turns out to be a serial killer, the public will be horrified.
For Harry and Pansy though, a scapegoat was found. Obviously, MacNair must have been responsible for the series of mysterious deaths.
When Harry found out what that monster had been doing (for years, possibly decades based on the age of some of the remains they found), he wanted to immediately kill him.
Pansy convinced him otherwise. Instead, they ramped up the visits paid to other Death Eaters who had escaped justice. Nine increasingly suspicious deaths ended up directly proceeding MacNair. And just as she had planned, he was blamed for all of them.
At that point, there were only half a dozen known "Imperius victims" left. After the Carrow twins' double suicide lovers' pact was discovered, two old pureblood families decided to leave the country.
Harry and Pansy briefly revisited Hogwarts once again to sit their NEWTs with the slightly smaller graduating class of 1998.
By then, Harry's relationships with the Weasleys had long been over. Ron never got over Harry marrying Pansy, nor could he understand how Harry was actually happy to leave school and become a father so young. Ginny, of course, was heartbroken over missing out on the hero who had saved her in the Chamber of Secrets. She went through a string of short dating failures before graduating. The twins' decision to prank Pansy in January of 1994 had led to Harry threatening to call in their life debts if they ever came near either of them again. She wasn't yet showing, but Harry was on edge after that and the other students mostly gave them a very wide birth.
Hermione was the only one that Harry still had a friendship with, distant as it was. They wrote to each other often. Pansy had even grown to tolerate her fairly well after being rid of the Weasleys. Granger was very interested in seeing a child develop in a magical family, especially how the parents could understand and deal with the accidental magic.
Of course, the fact that Harry would often try to teach Lexy how to use her accidental magic consciously was even more fascinating to her. She was almost certainly writing a thesis about it. However, she was happy to play babysitter (or Aunt Hermione as she liked to call herself) and that was appreciated by Pansy, even if it was only during summers and holidays. Still, any chance to make Harry take her out for a night was going to be taken.
Dobby could have baby sat as well, but Pansy preferred having the elf around to make sure things were fine, backing up Hermione as it were. She assumed that between the over-excited Dobby and the uptight Granger, somehow a balance could be maintained for Lexy's well being. It seemed to work.
Once they had finished with schooling, Harry joined the Wizengamot. He could be a charismatic speaker, at least when it suited Pansy's agenda. Harry still happily referred to her as the brains of their partnership. But honestly, he preferred spending time with his daughter. They still lived in their flat above the Brightwells, who treated Lexy like a granddaughter. Only Harry spoiled the little girl more.
They lived surprisingly frugally, but Harry had listened to his advisors and invested much of their money. They were doing quite well despite neither of them having a real job. The death of Sirus Black had left them quite a windfall, as Harry was the only person still alive mentioned in his will.
Once the twenty first century came around, Pansy decided to have a second child. Lexy wanted a sibling, and Harry was obviously thrilled by the idea.
It was no surprise when Pansy became pregnant within a couple of months. She had given Harry an excuse to have as much sex as possible, and his libido hadn't calmed very much even from their teen years.
Robert Steven Potter was born on the seventh of December, 2000.
The Potters finally had to move to a larger home after that, but by then they had several ways to keep in touch with the Brightwells, and they ended up visiting them at least once a week. Grandmum Ruby always had treats for Lexy.
Harry's life was interrupted in the spring of 2003. A dying Albus Dumbledore contacted him. The old wizard revealed to Harry everything he knew about Tom Riddle and told him of his theories surrounding Riddle's horcruxes that must have kept him tethered to life. He had discovered the fake locket and asked Harry for help searching through the Black family home at Grimauld Place.
The locket was found there, and Albus gave Harry the sword of Gryffindor to use to destroy it. He then asked Harry to challenge him to a duel, a duel which he never had any inclination to win. He revealed to Harry the story of the Deathly Hallows and how Harry was now the Master of Death. Albus told his tale of finding and destroying the second of Riddle's horcruxes, the Gaunt family ring that had contained the Resurrection Stone. Unfortunately, in his haste to attempt to use it, he activated a curse that Riddle had left behind.
This had led him to desperately lay all his cards on the table. He had no one else to turn to other than Harry.
He told of the prophecy. Of the other ideas he had for possible horcruxes. And finally, of his theory about Harry's scar.
Harry was none too thrilled with Dumbledore telling him he would have to die for Voldemort to be defeated once and for all.
Neither was Pansy.
However, with three of the horcruxes destroyed and Dumbledore dying less than a week later, they would have their own path to make.
After hearing where the others had been hidden and how they were tied to Riddle's life, Harry wondered if maybe something had been hidden at Hogwarts. Riddle had discovered the Chamber of Secrets when none else had. That seemed like a good place to start.
The Chamber turned out to be a bust, but the house-elves of Hogwarts had told Dobby of the come and go room, which Pansy remembered as the place they had first really talked to each other a decade earlier. Harry had the bright idea of asking Dobby to search the place for something with the same type of evil as the diary, which Dobby had experienced up close.
Few wizards would have thought to use a house-elf for such a purpose, but Harry honestly believed that Dobby was one of the most powerful magic users he had ever met. He had long ago realized that the abilities of house-elves were mostly untapped by wizards who thought so little of them.
Harry, though, knew for a fact exactly how amazing Dobby could be. He had relied greatly on his help while nearly wiping out the Death Eaters.
And less than a week later, Dobby discovered the long lost Diadem of Ravenclaw.
Four horcruxes down.
Otherwise, life continued on. The children grew. Aunt Hermione finished a non-magical degree in law and even started to seriously date a muggle she met at university. The Brightwells finally were having grandchildren of their own, with their son Simon marrying in 2000. They had gotten to know him in the late nineties, once Harry was no longer quite so paranoid (having already taken care of most of the people on his list of enemies), and he was really amazed to meet his parents' famous landlord/neighbor. Harry chuckled when he met the future Mrs. Brightwell- Penelope Clearwater, a young reporter working at the Prophet whom Simon had taken under his wing when she started- was the same girl who had been petrified with Hermione all those years ago.
Harry was actually touched when they named their son after him. Harry Brightwell was a year younger than his son Robert, and they were good friends and even called themselves cousins.
Lexy Potter started Hogwarts in the fall of 2005. Despite her parents playful arguments, she ended up in neither Slytherin nor Gryffindor but Ravenclaw. Filius Flitwick was still teaching and the head of her house, and both of her parents were pleased as he was one of the best teachers from their time there.
Sarah Ann Potter joined the family on Valentine's Day 2007. Unlike her dark-haired older brother and sister, she inherited her grandmother's red hair but had bright blue eyes.
Harry decided to spoil his wife with a second honeymoon in the summer of 2010, while Dobby and the kids stayed with the Brightwells. Robert and the younger Harry were thrilled to be spending so much of the summer together. Grandmum Ruby doted on little Sarah, while Penelope decided that she needed a daughter of her own. Alexandria, now far too old to still be called Lexy, was going to be getting a vacation reward of her own the next holiday break and so was persuaded to help look after her younger siblings.
And of course, Dobby was left with strict orders to do anything he might need to make sure his family was safe.
Harry was still just a little bit paranoid.
Three weeks on the French Riviera left Harry and Pansy tanner than they had ever been. And once again, expecting a child.
Alexandria talked her father into guest lecturing with Professor Tonks, a former auror whose clumsiness had led to an injury and thus was the newest Defense professor. Harry's Patronus was still talked of years later, and the class was actually held out on the Quidditch pitch. If anything, the dragon was even larger and brighter now.
Alexandria's Patronus was a phoenix, as she had always been amazed by the story of Fawkes coming to save Harry in the Chamber of Secrets.
In his later more sentimental years, Harry would say that Lexy was the real phoenix- the symbol of the Potter family's rebirth.
By the end of the lesson, Harry had helped four of her class mates produce Patronuses of their own.
William Daniel Potter was born on the fifth of April, 2011. Later that fall, his older brother became a Hufflepuff, where he was joined the next year by his cousin.
And in 2012, one last piece of the puzzle fell into place for finally dealing with Voldemort.
Bellatrix Lestrange died in Azkaban, hopefully joining her husband and brother in law in Hell.
With Harry as effectively the last male with Black blood, the Lestrange vault came to him as well, along with Hufflepuff's cup.
Which meant there was only Harry and his famous scar left now.
The wraith that was all that remained of Tom Riddle grew weaker over the years, as well as more insane. By the time it was able to return once again to England, only Vincent Crabbe senior was left of the once-vaunted Death Eaters. As he was barely functional due to generations of inbreeding having left him mentally retarded and one too many bar fights having decreased him even further, Harry had never bothered to hunt him down. His son was actually smarter, and considering Crabbe junior flunked out of Hogwarts after failing to achieve even a single OWL, well, that's really saying something.
Besides, Harry figured that if old Tom ever did try to come back, why not leave him one last supporter as bait?
Bait which the crazed spirit of the former Dark Lord seized.
Dobby's brief weekly check on Crabbe found him struggling with a badly botched possession in August of 2015. Despite his diminished brain power, Crabbe was a stubborn son of a bitch, and he was giving Voldemort a hell of a fight at taking control of his body.
Dobby popped Harry in, then they stunned and bound the last Death Eater. One draught of living death poured down his throat, and then Voldemort was locked away under a stasis spell cast by Dobby and hidden in the Chamber of Secrets.
Sarah Potter became a Gryffindor, while her brother William became a Slytherin.
Harry and Pansy joked about completing the set and decided that four children was enough, although Harry made sure they stayed in practice in case his wife ever changed her mind.
Pansy Potter died in 2078. She was survived by her husband, four children, eleven grandchildren, twenty seven great-grandchildren, and five great-great-grandchildren.
Harry was absolutely devastated by her death.
A week later, he used his invisibility cloak one last time to sneak into the Department of Mysteries and find the supposed Veil of Death. He cast the wand and stone through the archway, hoping to return them to their proper owner.
He had never used either of them.
He found his oldest daughter and told her the tale of the Hallows as well as what he had done. He passed on the cloak to her and kissed her goodbye.
Harry Potter was found the next day, laying on his wife's grave. It was said that he died smiling.
Dobby, Harry's oldest and most trusted friend, went down into the Chamber of Secrets one last time bearing the sword of Gryffindor. He released the stasis spell and stabbed the body that Voldemort had long ago possessed. It fell over with a soft thud and Tom Riddle was gone, no more than a footnote to a darker time a century ago.
Dobby returned to his family and told Lady Lexy that his last mission was complete for the Great Master Harry Potter.
A week later, the elf was buried beside his master and mistress.
Completely reversing the usual point of the "very special episode," Pansy becoming pregnant actually makes everything much easier for the heroes. Harry becomes completely ruthless and vicious, taking out his enemies in order to make sure that nothing can harm his family. What other lesson could he have possibly learned from the near extinction of the Potters?
Without Pettigrew to help, Voldemort doesn't manage to be nearly as much of a problem.
Dumbledore even gets off his ass and tries to do something about the horcruxes.
Harry becomes the Master of Death but it matters even less than the lame allegory we get in canon.
And even in the end, after decades of joy, Harry is still emotionally reliant on Pansy, unable to live without her. You can take the little boy out of the cupboard, but some part of that darkness will always remain.