1Home Again
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: Much of the credit for this story goes to Debbie R. and Lynne W. Their brilliant concept sparked my imagination, and I shaped the idea into a little parable of my own. I thank you, ladies, for the inspiration, and I hope you would be nothing but pleased at the result.
While I wrote this for HP, I really think it could apply to any fandom or genre. For me, it's particularly appropriate as I tend to wander away for a while, but I always come back.
Beyond the quotation below, there is a direct quote in this story from the Chamber of Secrets book. There is also a small bit of dialogue from the first and third movies. These are all indicated in italics.
"The castle felt more like home than Privet Drive ever had." – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
I was going home again. I could hardly believe it. It was really happening!
I knew the path. I was well-acquainted with it. I had walked this way on countless other occasions, but it felt different this time. I knew the reason why.
I was different. I had changed. Time and circumstance had altered me forever.
Still, I did not allow these thoughts to deter my steps.
I walked along the corridors of the castle—down one staircase, then up another—just as I had done so many times in the past.
"The staircases change, remember?" she had reminded me once. I was reminded again.
I recalled the first time I had traveled this path. It was as clear in my mind now as the day I had been introduced to the magical world. The incredible surroundings had changed little. I found this comforting as I walked along. I needed that comfort to drive me onward.
There was no one walking with me, just as there had been no one with me then. This only proved it was something I had to do alone.
I stopped for a moment, hesitating, my eyes focusing on the double doors in the distance—the doors that would or would not open upon my arrival.
What had he once told me?
Distant words echoed in my ears.
"It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities…"
I whispered this aloud, nodding to the air to tell him I remembered. I closed my eyes as my overwhelming emotions threatened to boil up and spill from within me like the contents of a bubbling cauldron.
He had taught me many things. They all had…
I could turn back now, but no! I had to go on. I wanted to be here now. I had made my choice.
My resolve rising, I walked forward with purposeful strides as memories flooded my senses. With a sense of urgency, my pace quickened. I was hopeful that this visit would restore my soul and lessen the burdens I carried with me. I needed that sense of security now.
As my footfalls reached the bottom landing, the sounds echoed hollowly in the empty hall and a thought struck me like lightning. What if the doors didn't open? What if I was wrong?
Pausing uncertainly, I turned around for an instant, but there was nothing behind me to hinder me now. Without another hesitation, I turned back to the double doors and perched my hand in mid-air to knock. My heart pounding, the excitement rising over me like a swift tide, my fingers were lost in empty space a second before finally touching against solid wood.
I was here. I was really doing this. No matter how long it had been, that was all that mattered.
When the doors slowly opened before me, bright candlelight from a thousand candles filtered in through the cracks, blinding my vision to whomever had answered my call. I felt the touch of a hand against mine before my eyes cleared, and I looked up to see the man whose hand was holding my own in a warm, welcoming grasp.
I wanted to cry, and then I realized I was already crying. I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks.
"I wasn't sure I would ever see you again," I whispered, my voice barely audible even in the quiet of the hall.
Were those the right words to say?
He nodded calmly, and I noticed his wise eyes showed no surprise at finding me on his doorstep.
"It has been far too long since you have come to visit us. Everyone has missed you dearly. Well, everyone except Professor Snape, perhaps," he said, chuckling softly. I couldn't help but chuckle back.
"We had believed you had outgrown us—that you had discovered everything you needed in the Muggle world—and no longer required anything from us. But seeing you now, the truth is written quite plainly on your face. Your eyes say it all."
I nodded, realizing that he was right, and a thought stirred somewhere in the back of my mind. Someone had once told me that happiness was reflective, like a pool of water or a mirror full of light. His eyes were full of that light now.
"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
I stared into the twinkling eyes before me. I knew without a doubt my eyes were shining that same light back at him.
"My life has not been easy," I said honestly. "There were many times I did not think I would make it through the day. But now—more than anything—all I wish is to be here… with you… with all of you."
He smiled warmly at me.
"Then it is my pleasure to welcome you back," he said, pointing behind him to a room full of people—witches and wizards—I hadn't seen in a very long time. "I think you have realized by now that change is inevitable. People change, paths and purposes change… But the way—the way always remains the same. A heart always knows how to find its way home again."
I nodded slowly, accepting his words, as he took my hand and led me over a threshold I hadn't crossed in some time. Immediately, a familiar lump rose in my throat, but the anticipation washed away any lingering fears or doubts.
"Albus Dumbledore," I said, turning to look up at him. "It is so good to see you again. I have missed you. I have missed everyone."
Looking around the Great Hall, there were so many faces I recognized. Hermione and Ron. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. Remus Lupin and Tonks. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Ginny, Fred, and George. Sirius Black. Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. Draco Malfoy and some Slytherins sat in the corner. Hagrid towered over the lot of them. And yes, even Severus Snape was there—albeit minus the smiling lips which adorned most of the gathering crowd. But he was there all the same.
Hermione was the first to come over to my side, her bright eyes light and free of the worry I had last seen in them. It was a fresh day, time for a fresh start, and like this girl, I no longer carried any of the old burdens with me.
"You have been missed as well," she said with a smile, understanding my happy gaze as I stared at all my old friends. "We have missed your thoughts and your laughter. And sometimes we even missed your unpopular opinions."
I raised an eyebrow, chagrined but resigned that not everyone would always see eye-to-eye with me on every subject. Such was life! I had learned that the hard way.
"You must come with me," Hermione added in her familiar hurried tone of voice which left no room in my thoughts for past rights or wrongs. "I know there's someone who will want to tell you all the latest news of Hogwarts."
I knew who she meant. He was here too! My heart thumped in my chest. Would he recognize me? Would I recognize him?
As those questions filled my mind, along came a green-eyed boy I knew well. Time had not changed his vibrancy or even his youth (nor tempered the black hairs on his head, to be sure). He was still the same boy I had met long ago, along this very same path, at this very destination. I had thought then that he, like me, had wanted nothing more than to find a home, to find a family… I had liked that about him. In fact, that was one of the things I had liked best about him.
And seeing him now, looking as he was, I was glad some things never changed…
"Harry!"
I greeted him with enthusiasm as Hermione and Ron flanked his sides. Then the others gradually grouped around us in a circle.
Harry's wide, familiar eyes met mine behind those famous round glasses, and I smiled in delight.
I was home again at last.