AUTHOR NOTE – This collection of stories is inspired by the Harry Potter Lone Traveler stories by dunuelos and originated by The Professional. If you haven't read them, do yourself a favor and check them out. My universe is intended to be distinct from the Lone Traveler universe, but the inspiration is likely evident to anyone familiar with the Lone Traveler.
AUTHOR NOTE 2 - Updated chapter to add author note to bottom of chapter.
Harry Potter was bored. To be clear, this was not an every day sort of bored where one is simply waiting for the completion of the last hour of an uneventful workday to pass. This was more like the sort of boredom one would achieve while living on a planet devoid of sentient life for a full decade (mainly because that is exactly how long he had ben living on a planet devoid of sentient life). Luckily for Harry, this state was about to come to an end, but as he did not know that he instead whiled away the time thinking of how he got here.
While there were many odd things about his life, even for a wizard, he knew that the real turning point in his life had occurred while he was dead. He had just willingly sacrificed his life for the people of the magical world, taking on a killing curse straight from Tommy-mort himself, and had found himself standing in a white void. He also hadn't been wearing clothes, which at the time seemed embarrassing, but now seemed reasonable since he also wasn't technically wearing a body either. After scaring up some pretend clothes to cover his pretend body, he then noticed a crying coming from under a pretend bench. Looking under the pretend bench he saw an extraordinarily ugly baby (which made him decide that he wasn't pretending, because he didn't like thinking he could pretend such an ugly baby). As he reached for the baby of extreme unattractiveness, his old Headmaster appeared from the white void to tell him that the baby could not be helped.
It was at this point in his recollection that he suspected that he had gone off the planned script. In a moment of pure unthinking rebellion (also feeling a bit slap happy from the killing curse/naked void combo), Harry had decided that he would help the baby. Not just help the baby, he would claim it as his own. Before Dumble-mort (he really needed to one day see about properly remembering the names of the old man and snake dude, after forgetting them through repeated mockery) could react, Harry had grabbed the slimy infant and said "No, he's mine to keep!". Beardy-dore had time to form a shocked look on his face, and then Harry's naked white void exploded in pain.
It had felt as if his body had just suddenly filled like a balloon, overfilled, popped, reformed as a larger balloon, overfilled, popped, and repeated for a countless number of times until he felt like an infinitely sized balloon. In short, it would be fair to say that Harry had not cared for the experience.
Once the pain ended, he finally was able to focus again on his void and was pleased to see it was a vast array of pulsing neon colors. He looked over to Some Old Smores (no, that definitely probably maybe wasn't the correct name) and saw the old man was just gaping with his mouth hanging wide open. Figuring that the bearded one wouldn't be talking for a while, Harry decided that it was about time to move on from the pretty void. As soon as the decision was made, he immediately woke up in the middle of the forest he had died in. All around him, he was surrounded by bodies of Breath Cheaters (seriously, he needed to start working on remembering the right names), and in the center of them all was Harry's mortal enemy lying on the ground. Instinctively sensing his surroundings with his magic, he knew for a fact that his adversary's soul (and the minions' souls) had been sent on to the afterlife. The war was over. At long last, he had finally defeated He-Whose-Name-Can't-Be-Remembered!
As he sat in the clearing, the remaining creatures and unmarked enemies rushed him to seek their vengeance. Harry relaxed in a just conjured massage chair, watching the onslaught of certain death. With a wiggle of his finger, the onslaught was forcefully apparated to the molten core of the Earth. With another wiggle of his finger, the chair started its shiatsu massage cycle. Harry then took a nap.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. A few hours later, Hermione had managed to wake him up from his nap. A few days later she had managed to get him out of his massage chair. He managed to stay in his chair as he had explained to her (and later others) what had happened to him, Folding-mart, and his followers. Once people accepted that the war was over, they began to move on. As Hermione had explained, part of moving on involved giving Harry an Order of Merlin, and she would not allow him to attend the ceremony while receiving a deep tissue massage from his chair. So, Harry was parted from his chair and given a shiny medal, which Harry then charmed to give him a neck massage.
Over the coming months, many researchers, scholars, and curious people came to talk with Harry to understand what had happened. One thing that was perfectly clear was that Harry now seemed to have a limitless supply of magic and an ability to perform anything he wished. Frustratingly, it was also discovered that Harry could not even remotely explain how he did any of it. Even more frustratingly, it seemed like Harry had also lost his drive to do anything productive if he didn't find it amusing (although the Weasley family appreciated it, as it kept George cheerful and felt as if Fred's spirit lived on in Harry). Eventually people stopped pestering him and accepted Harry as being an anomaly and decided that Harry's core had probably exploded while dead and was able to reform without limits because he was dead, and that his case could probably only be recreated by being dead and able to return to life. The only person left examining him was Hermione.
Harry figured Hermione's examinations were another primary cause for where he was now. Hermione kept coming up with ideas for limits to Harry's powers, and kept being shown the limit did not exist. In a fit of irritation, she dared him to fly to Mars and back as quickly as possible. She didn't expect him to really try, though she should have. She had just enough time to see the gleam in Harry's eyes and the look of concentration on his face before she realized her mistake. Before she could say no, Harry had mounted his broom and then was gone. She would never know what happened to him until she passed away years later, and at that time she would wish that she had warned him about moving near the speed of light.
A short time later (from Harry's point of view), a smug Harry arrived back at Hermione's house.
"You lose again, Hermione! From here to Mars and back, on a broom! Ha!" Harry shouted as he made his way into Hermione's house. As he walked into the house, he realized that there seemed to be something wrong with the house. Looking around, he noticed the kitchen table seemed to be missing, the mantle was no where to be seen, and the house was a skyrise made of unfamiliar metals. Also, there was the panicky family shouting at him and pointing what looked like a futuristic gun at him. Finally, there was the high-powered laser exiting the gun and tying to drill through his constant shields. All of that combined to make Harry suspect that this was not Hermione's house.
Quickly inventing and casting a universal language spell on himself, he then asked the panicked family "Pardon me, but do you know where Hermione is? This should be her house."
"Who are you? What are you doing here? How did you get through security?" screamed the woman shooting him with the laser. "And how are you stopping the photonic stunner?" At which point she stopped firing the weapon, either because she realized it was pointless or she was running out of charge (Harry wasn't sure).
"I'm Harry, and… I don't remember your other questions. Can we start again, a bit slower?"
And so, began an awkward conversation between Harry and the Stiltson family. After a lot of denials, demands for proof, some additional shots from the gun, a nice afternoon tea, and access to a calendar and a hasty physics lesson (when told his mass should have made his speed impossible, Harry shrugged and said "magic"), the misunderstanding was finally settled. Harry had accidentally overshot his goal of seeing Hermione in 10 minutes, by about one millennium. Oops!
After realizing all his friends and family were long dead, Harry decided to honor what he figured would be Hermione's last wish and figure out how to properly travel near the speed of light without the time dilation. He also figured he would honor George and do a couple of impossible things that would annoy Hermione. So, he invented the spell for an ever-filling basket of food and drink (he could practically hear Hermione scream "but Gamp's first law") and gave the Stiltsons their very own family-bound unbreakable cornucopia. He then told them he was off to break reality and got his broom and was gone.
The Stiltsons never saw Harry again, though they greatly appreciated the cornucopia when ten years later the world government collapsed, and they were able to provide for their friends and family. After another thousand years, the Stiltson Empire ruled the world with a benevolent fist full of food. Though Harry would never know about this.
After an hour of his own time, Harry finally had figured out the trick for keeping the rest of the universe synched with himself (it never occurred to him to trying to keep himself synched with universe). He had also stayed true to annoying Hermione by figuring how to break the speed of light and achieve infinite speed. As such, he returned to Earth, and was curious if he had overshot again. He had, by a few million years.
Ten years later, he was brought back to the present. And, now he was bored again. Bored, bored, bored!
Harry was about to start reliving his memories yet again, when he felt a tug on his magic. An immensely strong tug. It was now becoming an outright pull. Harry knew he could ignore the amazingly strong pull but couldn't think of any reason to do so. This was something new (so hopefully not boring), so he allowed the aggressive pull to take hold of him. Yank!
Harry saw the world instantly shift. He was no longer sitting on the top of a redwood tree in his massage chair. He was standing in the middle of a circle in a familiar looking room. He was also excited to see he was surrounded by a group of people, he figured they would be better conversationalists then the squirrels who shared his redwood. And in front of him was standing a familiar face, if only he could remember the name. With a shrug, he smiled and gave his best shot.
"A Busty Humble Boar! How are you?"
Albus Dumbledore frowned in response.
AUTHOR NOTE 3 - Some people have expressed confusion about the time differential. Based on time dilation (you can look up time dilation calculators online), if Harry is travelling at 99.99999999999999% of the speed of light, then 10 minutes for him would be 1000 years to an observer on Earth. This would mean that from his perspective he reached Mars in less than a second. However, Harry decided to fly around space for about 10 minutes just for the heck of it. He didn't realize there would be a difference between his 10 minutes and Hermione's 10 minutes. In short, Harry took the 1000 light year scenic route.