A/N: Dr Who and Gravity Falls AU crossover, where the Doctor is in a future OC incarnation, and already had many adventures. New destination: Gravity Falls, year 2012. Eye any references/Easter Eggs (mild SPOILERS for certain references in the future chapters).

Enjoy! I do not own Dr Who or Gravity Falls. I cannot wait for more Jodie Whittaker as the new lead for Dr Who, and see what else Alex Hirsch has store for Netflix. DW belongs to BBC and GF belongs to Alex Hirsch. Credits for the story's head image. Constructive Criticism welcome-no flames or spam please. Cryptograms are in A-1, Z-26.


Tourist Trapped

Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy.

Unless you're us.

KA-BAM!

"It's getting closer!"

The monster tries to catch the vehicle but just falls short. The golf cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.

My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. The guy in a red-and-black coat with a British accent is rewiring our golf cart to go faster is our godparent. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.

"Look out!"

"You are doing Great! Just hold On! Just need to Reverse the Polarity of the-ACK!"

The cart bounced up off the cliff.

Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind. (Flashback) It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air, they choose our family's friend named "John Smith" to stay and ship with us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods via a yellow old-fashioned car that John (or rather, "Doc-or The Doctor" as he liked us to call him) has.

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!"

"And there's a goat on my bed."

"Hey, friend. Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. Heh-Heh"

My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.

"Yay! Grass!"

Our godfather is a great person and friend with an electric and passionate mind.

Although he is well-known Piedmont community member (such as being a wonderful substitute teacher...), he knows our great-uncle, and his employees very well...and this seemingly strange town.

"…and almost done-and THERE! Good'ol Bessie is back where she is, and all of the packages neat and done! Say, both of you ready for excitement?"

But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.

"Boo!"

"Ah!"

" Ahahahaha! Hahaha!"

And then there was our Great Uncle Stan.

"That guy! OOF! *Cough* It was worth it."

"Stan! How are you!"

"John! Oh-I mean the...Doctor! Eh-Dr Who? Eh? Eh? HAHA!"

"Of Course, Of Course-kids would be staying here for a while, having fresh daily adventures for outdoor summer as their parents said."

"Yeah-Yeah, still can't believe you made it back though-I thought you were on certain errands?"

"Not much, say is She well taken care of?"

"Oh the Blue Broad? Yeah, just blending in with the attractions."

"Glee-wouldn't be surprised if you decorated it-just watch out for her, can give grisly noises and wouldn't like that-being displayed and all"

Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came.

The Jackalope's antler breaks off. Almost hitting the Doctor. "Good Heavens! Hello there-Sir!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" (A display of a "Sasquatch" wearing underwear)

Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures. Dipper is sweeping the wooden floor with a broom. Mabel is looking at stuff.

And guess who had to work here.

"Ooh!"

"No touching the merchandise!"

"Yep, just right here Soos!" called out the Doctor

Soos drives "the Mystery Cart" to the Mystery Shack.

It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer, except for our Godparent cracking jokes about history…and physics. Until one fateful day...

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!"

A boy looks at Mabel's note. "Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely."

"I rigged it!"

"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part"

"What? Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?"

"Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."

Stan walks in with the Doctor.

"Aww! Why!"

Dipper chuckles.

"Burp!" (stuck in his throat-the Doctor bumps him on back to get air)

"Oh! Oh, not good. Ow. Thanks Doc"

"No problem"

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Uh, also not it." exclaims Soos, who is a large male handyman at the Mystery Shack.

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that". Eats a chocolate bar while reading one of Ronald Dahl's books.

"Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!"

(Wendy-a redhaired female teenager), "I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..."

"I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... (Points at Dipper) you."

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched. I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."

"That says "BEWARB." Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that. So quit being so paranoid!

Dipper sighs.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say.

Puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack."

He starts to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it makes a metallic sound. He taps the tree with the hammer, which makes more metallic sounds. He wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. He tests one control but nothing happens. Then he tries the other. Behind him, a hole opens up in the ground.

"What the?"

Dipper looks inside the hole, and there is a book. He picks the book up and places it on the ground, and checks for people watching. He flips one page and an eye-glass is in it. He looks at the eye-glass and puts it down. He flips another page, and begins reading aloud.

"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon. What is all this? "TRUST NO ONE." Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it…my closest friend was dearly wrong…Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust. No one you can trust...not even-(the ink writing stops)"

"HELLO!" exclaims the Doctor, who is with Mabel.

"GAH!"

"What'cha readin', some nerd thing?" said Mabel.

Dipper hides journal behind back. "Uh, uh, it's nothing!"

Mabel imitates Dipper, "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Ha-Ha. What? Are you actually not gonna show me?

"Uhhh... (Glances at Gompers who is chewing the founded hidden journal) Let's go somewhere private."

"Of-Course, lets head back, me and Mabel were trying to look for you-forests are indeed always lively and beautiful-but also can be cryptic and dangerous" stated the Doctor.

Later, the trio was in the living room. The Doctor sat on the couch.

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

"Whoa! Shut. Up!"

The Doctor was eerily quiet…lost in his own thoughts.

"And get this! After a certain point, the pages just.. stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared. (Doorbell rings) Who's that?"

"Well, time to spill the beans. Boop. Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot!"

"Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLLLLE! Oh. Coming!"

Dipper sits down in chair and begins to read the Journal.

Stan walks in and sees Dipper, "What'cha reading there, slick?"

"Oh! (Throws the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine) I was just catching up on, uh...Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?"

"That's a good issue."

"Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

"Sup?"

The Doctor snaps out of his trance-"What?

"Hey..."

"How's it hanging?"

"We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. (Feels his arm) Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise..."

"So, what's your name?"

"Uh. Normal... MAN!"

"Normal Man? What type of name is that? Unless you are just implying you are something more-"

"He means Norman"

"Are you bleeding, Norman?"

"It's jam."

"I love jam! Look. At. This!"

"So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?

"Oh, oh, my goodness. Don't wait up!"

Norman points at Stan and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out.

"Hmm-jam, analyzing (licks the drops on the ground)-pretty wild, additionally why would a normal guy walks ever so Casual? Hm?"

Eying at Stan who is reading a new scooped magazine: UFO sighted-an unknown blue object.

"…hm, I guess not now Stan-say Dipper, let's go to upstairs-I am pretty sure I seen this somewhere."

There was something about Norman that wasn't right. Even John-or *ahem-'the Doctor' agrees. I decided to consult the new founded journal with the Doctor.

The Doctor peers at Mabel and "Norman" outside of the window.

Dipper reads, "…Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious... *GASP*!

We see a journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes similar to Norman.

The Doctor still looks outside-seeing Mabel is given daisies by "Norman" who still acts quite morbid, "Hm, daisies…"

"Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"

Soos who is screwing in a lightbulb, "It's a dilemma, to be sure. (Dipper is taken back by Soos sudden appearance) I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to Dr Smith in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"Hmm. How many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero."

"Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf. But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

"I guess in certain cases…" stated the Doctor

"As always, Soos, you're right", said Dipper

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

"Heh-I am pretty sure it up to fate to state that", remarked the Doctor.

"Thanks, Doc"

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" shouted Stan.

"I am needed elsewhere."

"My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence." Dipper said to the Doctor.

I'd seen enough.

"Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!"

"Ah!"

"Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower! That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!"

"You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!"

"Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM!"

"Agh!"

"Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry... Sha-bam!

"A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper."

"I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!"

"Well, what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me? Beep bop!

"Mabel, he's gonna eat your brain!"

"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY"

"Bu-bu-but—"

"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!"

"What am I gonna do?"

"You are going to need…a doctor" stated the Doctor, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Gah!"

"Oops, sorry-so sorry, didn't mean to scare you-however, while reanalyzing the Journal and showing it to Mabel-you were correct at the first time".

"Huh?"

"We'll get to that, for now we let time pass, oh dear-only she knew about there are people in the universe who would take the advantage of real meaning of love, and also-we haven't greeted a horde of undead yet"

"Wait-what do you mean?"

"If 'Normal Man' is a zombie, then the outside (where Stan's attractions is) would been clearly infested. Besides I think I know in this already familiar place who would take an advantage of love…"

The doorbell rings.

"Coming! Hey, Norman. How do I look?

"Shiny..."

"You always know what to say!"

The Doctor with Dipper watches the video that have been collected.

"Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence. I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and—"

"Don't say that-besides look"

"Wait, WHAT?! (Rewinds the tape and watches it again; he screams and tips the chair backwards) we were right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! (Races outside) Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!"

Stan was on a stage in front of a bunch of tourists; to the crowd. "And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face."

"Does it look like a rock?"

"No, it looks like a face."

"Is it a face?"

"It's a rock that looks like a face!"

"Over here! Grunkle Stan!"

"For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!"

"Errrgh! Stan! Stan! (Sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister!"

"Try not to hit any pedestrians." Said Wendy-The Doctor soon catches up, and sits next to Dipper.

"Ready As You Can Be?"

"Ready As I Can Be!"

"Dudes, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies."

Gives Dipper a shovel.

"Thanks."

"And this is in case you see a piñata."

The Doctor takes the bat. "Close enough to a cricket bat".

"Better safe than sorry!"

(Meanwhile)

"Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's... (exhales) ...there's something I should tell you"

"Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything!" Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!

"All right, just... just don't freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!"

Unzips his coat and throws it off; underneath are five gnomes standing on top of each other. The top gnome speaks.

"Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down? R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.

"Uh..." Mabel being shell-shocked.

"I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I'm sorry, I always forget your name."

"Shmebulock".

"Shmebulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?"

"Queen! Queen! Queen!"

"Heh. So what do you say? (Taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion) Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!"

"Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, "what"? Yikes..."

"We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel. (The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles) Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?"

(the Cart crashes from the woods-which made the gnomes quickly capture Mabel)

"Don't worry, Mabel! We'll save you!"

"Help!"

"…AND THAT's The Answer: Gnomes! Quickly Dipper! Press On IT!"

"Hold on!"

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!"

"Let go of me!"

"ALRIGHT-What the heck is going on here?!"

"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! Hair! Hair! Hair!"

Dipper takes the journal out of his vest and reads the relevant page aloud: "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

"Aw, come on!"

"Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!"

"Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?"

"You guys are butt-faces! Mmmm-MMMMM!"

"You Tell Them Mabel!"

"Give her back right now, or else!"

"You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—"

"Now where have I heard of that somewhere-right…Dipper-Shovel!"

Dipper casually tosses Jeff away with the shovel.

"AH!"

Dipper quickly cuts Mabel free with the shovel.

"Yah!"

Kicks gnomes away; Dipper and Mabel get in the cart.

"They are getting away with our queen! No, no, no!"

"Like my amazing magical bus-riding friend would say. Seatbelts, Everyone!"

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, boys! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!"

"Hurry, before they come after us!"

"I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"

"…Um Dipper, I have one good idea to say right now"

"All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced." The Gnomes growls.

"RUN!"

"Come back with our queen!"

"It's getting closer!"

"Hold-on I got it! Making the golf cart faster! You are doing Great! Just hold On! Just need to Reverse the Polarity of the-ACK!"

"Ha ha!"

Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance. The Doctor swings the bat at Shmebulock.

"Shmebulock..." who falls out of the cart.

"Sorry!...oh dear, let's hope he doesn't puke colors..."

A Gnome jumps onto the cart and claws Dipper's face.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" exclaims Mabel who repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat.

"Thanks, Mabel..."

"Don't mention it."

"Look out!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The cart overturns, landing next to the Mystery Shack.

Dipper and Mabel are both picked up by the Doctor. "Both of you guys okay?"

Both nod. The gnomes' giant figure approaches.

"Stay back, man!" shouted Dipper, who throws the shovel at the gnome giant.

Gnome punches the shovel in mid-air.

"Aaahhh!"

"WHERE'S GRUNKLE STAN?!"

"It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"There's gotta be a way out of this!"

However, the Doctor whispers to Mabel for an opportunity.

"I gotta do it." Mabel stated.

"What?! Mabel, Doctor don't do this! Are you all crazy?"

"Trust us." said the Doctor.

"What?"

(Away from the Gnomes)"Dipper, Trust me-I am The Doctor"

Dipper was a bit confused on the last statement.

Mabel exclaims, "All right, Jeff. I'll marry you."

"Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! (Climbing down to her) Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike. (Approaches Mabel and holds out diamond ring) Eh? Eh?"

Mabel holds out hand.

"Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride!" said the Doctor.

"Well, don't mind if I do." Jeff leans up to kiss Mabel.

Mabel leans out to kiss Jeff, then backs away for the Doctor who takes out the leaf blower.

"Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!"

"That's for lying to me! (who increases the sucking power) THAT'S for breaking my heart!"

"OW! My face!"

"And THIS is for messing with my brother, and our Friend! Wanna do the honors?"

"On three!" said Dipper.

"One, two, three!" which blasted Jeff towards the gnome monster.

The Gnome Giant explodes into separate gnomes.

"I'll get you back for this!..."

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"

"My arms are tired."

Dipper shouts, "Anyone else want some?!"

The Gnomes run off on all fours; one gets caught in a six-pack holder. Gompers picks the six-pack holder up and runs off.

Gnome in the six-pack holder shouts, "Aaaaahhhhh!"

"Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."

"Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there."

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Ah, don't worry-besides I myself have always rubbish at weddings, especially mine."

Both look at their mysterious spoken godfather.

"Well, anyways look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!"

"Hm…", mutters the Doctor, who thought about a certain couple named Edward and Bella-which he hopes they are doing off just fine.

"Oh, you're just saying that!"

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug."

Dipper & Mabel hugs and pat each other. "Pat, pat."

The Doctor smiles.

"Say John...oh I mean, Mr Smith-or Dr Smith?...Anyways what is your degree? Medical or PhD?"

"Why-everything, my dear boy...defining the article you might just say."

The trio walks into the Mystery Shack.

"Yeesh. You three get hit by a bus or something? Ahah! Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Really?"

"What's the catch?"

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something."

Dipper & Mabel look around at items.

"Hey, Dipper-sorry about the losing your hat during the crazy chase-hope this would replace it" stated the Doctor with a chosen pine tree hat.

Dipper picks up the hat and looks in a mirror. "Hmm. That oughta do the trick! Thanks Doc!"

"And I will have a...GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!"

"Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?"

"GRAPPLING HOOK!"

"Well, I bet he would also let her use it anyways-that gave us a scary adventure too", said the Doctor.

"Fair enough!"

(Soon)

Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing.

This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.

"Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?"

"I'm on it! (Knocks light out the window with the grappling hook) It works! Grappling hook..."

Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked…

I wonder how our extraordinary godfather is doing…

(Meanwhile…)

Stan walks while holding a lantern. The Doctor pulls what-seems-to-be bunch of wires coming out of a supposed-to-be an attraction; a huge blue box that reads POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX and follows Stan.

Stan goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, The Doctor goes in first, Stan walks inside, and looking side-to-side before closing it behind them.

23-5-12-3-15-13-5 20-15 7-18-1-22-9-20-25 6-1-12-12-19: 20-8-5 4-15-3 11-14-15-23-19 20-8-1-20 19-20-1-14 9-19 14-15-20 23-8-1-20 8-5 19-5-5-13-19

A/N: Hoped you enjoyed it! Eye for more chapters in the future-sorry about any spelling or grammar mistakes.